Bless Us Father (24 page)

Mary Margaret felt her mother grip her shoulder firmly and turn her to face her. Then she saw her father get up from the table and stride over, a deep frown on his face. He grabbed his wife’s wrist and forced her to let go of Mary Margaret.

“I told you that was enough, Ellen. Now leave the girl alone. She’s going to quit working at the rectory and she’s taking the job at the Broadway, and that’s all there is to it. I don’t want to hear another word about it.”

Mary Margaret held her breath and waited for the explosion that was sure to follow. Much to her surprise, her mother just turned on her heel and stomped out of the room. She heard her go out the front door and slam it behind her.

“Good. I hope she takes a nice long walk and cools off,” Mr. Riley said. “You might want to steer clear of her the rest of the evening. Do you have some homework or something to do in your room?”

“I do, Dad,” Mary Margaret said quietly, turning to leave.

She paused at the door and turned back to her father, running into his arms. “Thank you, Daddy. Thank you so much.”

“That’s okay, baby girl. What’s a father for if not to take care of his precious daughter?”

In confession...we open ourselves to healing, reconciling, restoring, uplifting grace of Him who loves us in spite of what we are.

-Louis Cassels-

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

It was her last day of school and it couldn’t be over soon enough for her. She walked slowly on her way to class, dreading it. For the last week, everywhere she went on campus it seemed people were whispering about her. As soon as she’d get near a group of girls, they would become quiet and then put their heads together and start talking when she would pass them. Hopefully, after the summer break they would forget all about her and move on to someone or something else.

Since the announcement about her new job had been made, Mary Margaret’s mother had barely spoken to her. Actually, it was a relief not to have her nagging her all the time.

She thought about Todd, and a wave of loneliness washed over her. He hadn’t called her since the prom. Even though it wasn’t acceptable for girls to call boys, she’d finally dialed his number. Todd had been very cool to her over the phone and didn’t mention getting together. This really disappointed her. She knew they’d had an agreement to go to each other’s proms, just as friends, but they’d gotten along so well that she’d hoped it would lead to a relationship.

A small group of girls were huddled together in front of the school when Mary Margaret arrived. They turned to watch her as she walked by. She ducked her head and avoided eye contact, but could feel herself blushing to the roots of her hair.

She almost ran all the way to her first class which was study hall. The school yearbooks were being passed out today and the rest of the day would be spent with the girls all signing each other’s books.

Mary Margaret walked to the teacher’s desk and was handed her yearbook. Afraid that someone would write something about Father Antonio in it, she took it to her desk without stopping to ask anyone to sign it.

The morning seemed to go on forever, but finally the bell rang for lunch. Mary Margaret gathered up her books and lunch, and crossed the campus to a bench that was partially hidden by an overgrowth of hedges and a large tree. She liked to eat there when she didn’t want to be bothered, and she certainly didn’t want to talk to anyone today.

She was happy to see that the bench was empty and sat down. She put her books down and opened her lunch. Unwrapping her bologna and cheese sandwich, she balled the waxed paper that had it had been wrapped in and put it back into the paper bag. Just then she heard Linda’s voice coming from the other side of the hedge.

“I heard it from my mother. Father Antonio is gone. He was transferred to another parish and wasn’t even allowed to say goodbye,” Linda said.

Mary Margaret didn’t recognize the next voice.

“So all the rumors must be true! He must have been fooling around with those young girls.”

“That’s what Jane and Becky said, and another girl in the youth group, too.” Linda continued, “They all said he tried to touch them in bad ways, but they wouldn’t let him.”

“Do you think the rumor about Mary Margaret is true? Do you really think she and Father Antonio did it?” another girl asked.

“I don’t know what to think,” Linda said. “We were always such good friends, but she changed so much when Father Antonio arrived that she wouldn’t talk to me about anything. Maybe they
were
doing it and she didn’t want me to know.”

A sharp pain shot through Mary Margaret’s chest. She should have listened to Linda back then, and she should have talked to her about Father Antonio. Maybe things would have been different. Maybe they would still be friends. Instead, Linda was talking about her behind her back.

Hot tears poured from Mary Margaret’s eyes and down her cheeks. She hugged herself tightly and bit her lip to keep from sobbing out loud. She couldn’t take a chance on the girls hearing her and coming around the hedge. She’d just have to sit here until they left.

The bell rang, signaling an end to the lunch period. Mary Margaret waited until she was certain they were gone, then trudged slowly back to her class.

It seemed like an eternity, but finally, the school day came to an end. She was eager to return to the solace of her bedroom. Her new job started on Monday and things would have to get better. No one there would know anything about her and Father Antonio.

She managed to make the walk home without running into anyone, and let herself in the front door. She could hear her mother in the kitchen, and tried to get by the door without her mom knowing she was home. Her luck wasn’t with her today.

Her mom heard her and poked her head out. “Is that you, Mary Margaret? Come in here. I need to talk to you.”

Mary Margaret sighed and rolled her eyes skyward. Mom hadn’t talked to her in a week. She guessed her reprieve was over.

“Hi Mom,” she said, sitting down at the kitchen table. “What did I do now?”

“Don’t get smart with me,” Mrs. Riley said, sitting across from her. “I got a call from Mrs. Hunter today and we need to talk.”

Barely able to speak, Mary Margaret whispered, “Mrs. Hunter? What did she want?”

“She called to give us the sad news that Father Antonio has suddenly been transferred; to a parish in South Central Los Angeles of all places.”

Mary Margaret breathed a sigh of relief. “Yeah, I heard someone talking about it at school today.”

She stood up to leave.

“Not so fast, young lady,” Mrs. Riley said. “There’s something else.”

A shiver of fear swept over her. “What?”

“Mrs. Hunter said something quite strange. She asked me if you had ever mentioned Father Antonio behaving inappropriately with you. She said she was concerned that something had happened between the two of you. I, of course, told her that was just silliness and evil gossip.”

Mary Margaret closed her eyes and tried to squeeze out the images of Father Antonio spreading her legs and pushing himself into her that day in the mountains.

Maybe she should try one more time to tell her mother. And maybe, just maybe, her mom would actually listen to her and believe her this time.

She opened her eyes, cleared her throat, and whispered, “Don’t you remember when I tried to tell you about Father Antonio touching me in weird ways? You didn’t believe me, but it was true. I wish I could explain it all to you. If you could just listen to me for a minute...”

“The truth is nothing happened to you, you little liar.” Mrs. Riley spat the words at her, raised her hand like she was going to slap her. “Get out of my sight.”

Mary Margaret jumped up and ran to her bedroom. She threw herself down on the bed and burst into sobs. She buried her face in her pillow and cried until there were no tears left.

She fell into a deep but restless sleep. A disturbing dream about Father Antonio woke her. In the dream, she was eight years old, wearing her white dress and veil, and he was giving her first communion. He placed the communion wafer in her hands, then stroked her hair several times while looking deep into her eyes. Father O’Malley had given her first communion. Why was she dreaming about Father Antonio?

Somehow she knew if she didn’t talk to someone about what had happened between her and Father Antonio, she’d never get rid of the sick feeling inside her. Father O’Malley had offered her confession, and maybe now she could take him up on it since Father Antonio was gone. She would tell dear old Father O’Malley everything and he was bound by the Sacrament of Penance to keep it all secret.

#

She’d been sitting in the back of the church for an hour unable to muster up the courage to get in line for the confessional. Finally, everyone else had left and she was alone in the quiet. Only ten minutes more, then Father O’Malley would open the confessional door and go back to the rectory for dinner. It was now or never. She got up and walked slowly over to the little booth, opened the door and got down on her knees, closing it behind her.

“Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. It’s been--gosh, I don’t know how long--since my last confession,” Mary Margaret said, furrowing her brow trying to remember the last time.

“Ah, Mary Margaret. I’ve been waiting for you,” Father O’Malley said. “And what sins have you to confess, my child?”

She bowed her head in shame, silent tears rolling down her cheeks. She thought she could do this, but now had major doubts.

“Please, child. Tell me what is bothering you. I’m here to help you, not hurt you further.”

Mary Margaret’s heart was touched by the sincere concern she heard in Father O’Malley’s voice. Just knowing he was on the other side of the partition gave her strength.

“Oh, Father, I’ve sinned and I don’t know how to go on from here,” she said, trying to control the tears. “I don’t know where to start.”

“I believe the last time you made your confession to me, you told me you had been trying to attract the attention of a man--a father. Do you remember?”

A chill ran down Mary Margaret’s spine. Father O’Malley remembered her confession. That had been the beginning of it all.

“Yes, Father, I remember.”

“You know, child, at the time I assumed it was the father of one of your friends. Was I wrong?”

Realization hit her. He knew. He knew it was Father Antonio and he was waiting for her to tell him.

“Yes, Father. You were wrong. The man was Father Antonio, not the father of one of my friends.”

A long silence descended on them both. Finally, Mary Margaret broke it.

“I was hoping Father Antonio would pay attention to me, and he did, but it didn’t turn out the way I thought it would.”

She could feel anger radiating from the other side of the partition now.

“And just how did it turn out, child? What did Father Antonio do to you?” he asked.

Mary Margaret heard tremors in his voice.

“I don’t want to tell you, Father O’Malley. I’m too ashamed. It’s too embarrassing.”

“Mary Margaret. I’ve known you since you were a babe in arms. I baptized you, I gave you First Communion, I’ve watched you grow into a beautiful young woman. For the love of God, tell me!”

“Oh, Father. I’m bad. I feel so dirty. He made me feel loved in the beginning, like I was something precious to him. Then he started doing things that I know he shouldn’t have, but I let him. I didn’t make him stop. I even liked some of the things he did, but then when we went up to the mountains...”

“You went to the mountains with him? Just the two of you? When was that?” Father said, his voice lower now.

“It was a surprise for my birthday. He had to go check out a site for retreats, and my mom let me ride up with him.”

“Where was I, Mary Margaret? And where was your father?” Father O’Malley asked.

“Well, you were in Ireland, and my dad was working in Oklahoma. Mom and I were kind of on our own.”

Mary Margaret listened to the sound of the church bells signaling the hour. She could hear Father O’Malley breathing on the other side of the screen.

After a long moment of silence, she spoke again. “There wasn’t anyone else there at the retreat house, and Father Antonio had me get into one of the beds and take all of my clothes off. Then he got into bed with me, and well, we...we...had sex.”

She could hear Father O’Malley on the other side, muttering to himself. It sounded like he was saying a prayer, but she couldn’t hear the words well enough other than, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph.”

“My dear, dear child. I am so sorry we have failed you. The ones that were supposed to be protecting you weren’t with you when they needed to be.”

“Excuse me?” She was having trouble understanding what he was talking about. She was here to confess her sins, and now he was apologizing to her. “Father? Are you going to give me a penance?”

“You should be giving me penance, child. But yes, I have a few things I want you to do. First, say one decade of the rosary for your penance. Then I want you to go and tell your parents what you’ve told me. I can’t go to anyone with anything you’ve told me in the confessional, so your parents must bring this to the proper authorities. Will you do that?”