Black Butterfly (25 page)

             
Nodding, I agreed. “You’re right.”

             
“I told them I’d enrolled in school because I plan to do that.”

             
“Okay baby, I’m sorry,” I smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

             
He rubbed my leg. “It’s okay baby. I love you anyway.” Looking at me he flashed a dimpled smile.

             
I shook my head. “I love you too.”

Chapter 17

Seantay

              The first time I saw the billboard I almost plowed into the back of a car. I couldn’t believe it. There I was big as day. Well, not literally because Randy kept me tight. I pulled over on to the shoulder of the interstate and just stared at myself. I dialed Reba’s number. She answered quickly.

             
“What’s up girl?” She asked.

             
“The billboard’s up!” I yelled in excitement. “They revealed them all this morning.” I was out of breath.

             
Reba screamed. “How does it look?”
              “I love it. It’s beautiful.”

             
“Where are you?”

             
“I’m still on 95. I’m about thirty miles from Miami.”

             
“Oh yeah,” Reba said. “Your little trip to Atlanta. I almost forgot about that since you didn’t invite me.”

             
“Stop whining bitch. I only stayed one night. It was business and not pleasure anyway,” I reminded her.

             
“Uh huh. So, how did Dean take the let down?” She asked.

             
“Your nosey ass,” I laughed.

             
“You already know. So?”

             
“We talked about business at first. He kept on asking to use my sketches and I told him no. My designs will bear my name only. I did agree to model for him, but it would be by contract only. After that I had to break his little heart. I’ve been doing pretty good with this faithful shit. Believe me, he looked absolutely tempting,” I admitted.

             
“Okay, you didn’t answer the damn question though. How did he take it?”

             
“He took it okay. He said that it was no problem and he understood. It was a bunch of bull. I could tell.”

             
“Well, that’s just how it is sometimes boo. How long has it been now? About two months since you and Raheem have become official?”

             
“It was exactly two months about two weeks ago. Believe it or not, but my mother loves him.”

             
“I can’t believe it, so I choose not. How’s Seandra?”

             
“She’s okay. I haven’t spoken to her in a while. Of course she doesn’t speak to Nell at all. She blames her for everything. Nell told me that Maurice is trying to get her back. Since he’d been out of rehab he’s been confessing his love for her. Of course Ricky’s all the man she needs and those were her exact words. It’s crazy that Renell had been in a relationship with Maurice first.” I shook my head trying to grasp the thought of someone like Nell being with someone like him.

             
“Does Ricky know about Nell’s past with Maurice?” Reba asked.

             
“Yeah, she told him everything. Well, I’m not too far away. I will stop by,” I said carefully steering my car back into the traffic.

*                      *                 *

Seandra

             
“I don’t think I will ever be able to forgive them,” I told my therapist. I’d been seeing Dr. Helen Fletcher for the past month. I couldn’t deal with the break up and Renell and Maurice’s little secret on my own. I needed to talk to someone who wouldn’t judge me. One of the producers of the show had given me Dr. Fletcher’s card.

             
“Seandra, you must forgive your sister and your ex. It’s not for their sake, but for yours. It’s not healthy to hold a grudge,” she explained to me.

             
Sighing I disagreed with her logic. “Why should I forgive them? They hurt me intentionally. Nell just sat back and let me be played. She didn’t care. Maurice just used me as a pawn. I didn’t mean shit to him. It was all just something for him to do.”

             
“So, how is the apartment search going?” Dr. Fletcher asked changing the subject.

             
That put a smile on my face. “I decided to buy a house in South Beach right next to the ocean. My father is closing the deal for me. He’s handling everything,” I replied.

             
“That’s great.” Dr. Fletcher removed her glasses and looked at me like she was in deep thought. “Do you feel that leaving your apartment will help you get over Maurice?”

             
“Yeah, somewhat. There will not be so many memories to haunt me. He’d even gone so far as to start shooting up. He lied and told me that he was diabetic. He just got out of rehab about a week ago. He didn’t attempt to contact me, but Seantay told me that he’s been trying to get back with Renell. I should be like fuck him, but I wonder why he hasn’t tried to contact me. If I move I might be able to get over it.”

             
“It doesn’t matter where you go, the memories will still be in your mind. You have to stop running and confront those feelings head on. The only way to get over it is to face it and deal with it. You have to sit down and talk to your sister. After that you must confront Maurice and get some closure,” she instructed sternly.

             
“Oh no. I will never talk to Maurice. I don’t even think I will ever talk to Renell again either. As far as I’m concerned neither one of them exists to me. I am finished,” I said defiantly.

             
“I understand you feeling that way about Maurice, but Renell is your sister. She’s your blood.”

             
“So!” I snapped. “That doesn’t matter to me right now.”

             
Dr. Fletcher’s oval shaped, mocha colored face was filled with shock at my outburst.             

             
“I’m sorry,” I apologized quickly. “It’s just so hard for me. My sister and I have never really been that close. What she and Maurice did to me seals the deal. She’s no longer my sister. I hate them for what they did to me.”

             
“Have you ever stopped to think about how Renell felt during the three years that you were with Maurice? Don’t you think she was hurt too?”

             
I shrugged my shoulders. “I don’t care,”
I
retorted.

             
Shaking her head Dr. Fletcher looked repulsed. “You have too much pent up anger Seandra. That’s not good. You have to release that anger, but not with so much aggression.”

             
I was silent knowing that the time was approaching for our session to be over.

             
“Well, that’s our time. I want you to think seriously about what I asked you. Consider it a homework assignment. Put all of your hurt and animosity to the side and put yourself in Renell’s shoes. We’ll discuss your thoughts next week.” Dr. Fletcher stood up and walked me to the door. I left her office feeling like therapy was making me feel worst.

*            *           *

Renell

             
My baby sister was becoming one of favorite people. We should’ve been closer all along. If only Seandra could find it in her heart to complete our three way bond. I was willing to forgive and forget about the evil thing she’d done and said to me in the past. If only she could do the same for me. My relationship with Ricky allowed me the openness and courage to reach out and love my sisters. I’d even started spending more time with my parents.

             
I’d met Ricky’s parents and younger sister a month earlier. His family was really close and I envied them.  His relationship with his sister was really admirable. He’d stressed to me the importance of family. I’d just pulled up to my parents’ estate when Seantay pulled up behind me. I got out of my car and waited for her. She walked up with a huge smile on her face.             

             
“What has you all giddy?” I asked her as we climbed the steps of the huge mansion we’d grown up in.

             
“The WoMon Ross billboards are up. I saw one on 95 today,” she said souding really excited.

             
“Oh yeah. I remember you told me about that. You’ll have to take me to see it later. I am so proud of you,” I said giving her a hug.

             
“Thanks Renell. I’m proud of you too,” Seantay said.

             
“Thanks little sis. I just wanted to stop by and see the folks before they head to Thailand tomorrow.”

             
Seantay opened the door and we walked inside of the massive estate. Our parents were in the sitting room watching television. Only a dim lamp shined in the lavishly decorated room.

             
“Hi Nell,” mother said and stood up to give me a hug. She kissed Seantay on the cheek.

             
Father gave me a kiss on the forehead. “How are you honey?”

             
“I’m good,” I said smiling.

             
“And Ricky?” He asked.

             
“Ricky’s doing great. He’s in St. Louis on business.”

             
“Tell him I’m still waiting to kick his butt in a little golf.”

             
I laughed. “I sure will daddy.”

             
He looked at Seantay. “Good to see that my babygirl made it home in one piece,” he said giving her a hug.

             
Seantay told them about the billboard.

             
“Good. I’m so proud of both of you. Nell, I always knew you’d be like your old man. I don’t have any sons, but you are a chip off the old block,” he laughed.

             
He’d finally said exactly what I’d longed to hear. I was grateful. It seemed like such a simple thing, but it meant the whole world to me.

             
Father looked at Seantay. “And babygirl I always told you that you had the face of the future didn’t I?”

             
She nodded knowingly. “Yes you did! I’m so excited. I have to tell Raheem.” She bolted up the stairs.

             
My visit was supposed to be short, but I ended up staying for dinner. I had begun to realize that I only had one family. They may have not been perfect, but I loved them anyway.

*           *         *

Seandra

             
It was time for me to move on. After all of the moping around and feeling sorry for myself I decided to try dating again. Why not? It wasn’t like I had a problem getting a man. I was starting to realize that I was better off without Maurice. He had too many damn issues anyway. I didn’t even want to think about how awful our marriage would have been.

             
I applied my make up lightly and rushed to put on my black Manolo pumps. The Skybar in Miami Beach was a celebrity hotspot and I was ready to meet up with Jermaine LaRue. He was a starter for the Miami Heat. At 6’2, 200 lbs, he was extra fine and rich. At the age of twenty-eight he was successful and drug free. He wore a close, wavy haircut, and had smooth cocoa brown skin. A few freckes were sprinkled across his nose and cheeks. I thought he was adorable and he dressed immaculately.

             
Taking one last glance at myself I knew that the short, tight, black Gucci dress was perfect for the occasion. I planned to seduce Jermaine and have him begging for mercy. This was our second date. Grabbing my purse I headed out. I hit the highway exceeding the speed limit with the top down and my hair flowing in the wind. I was walking into the Skybar in less than twenty minutes flat. I spotted Jermaine at the crowded bar. He was looking sharp in black Armani jeans, red Armani blazer with black embroidery, black tee, and black and red snake skin Armani shoes. I walked over and covered his eyes with my hands.

             
“Mmm, I’d recognize your perfume anywhere,” he said grabbing my hands. “Seandra, baby you smell really good.”

             
I sat down beside him and leaned over to whisper in his ear. “Let’s get a table so we can have a little more privacy. I have something to show you.”