Beyond the Shadows (17 page)

He rolled his head over the pillow, glanced at the glowing numbers of his alarm clock and groaned. Too early for the sun to rise, Nate knew from past experience since he was awake, he may as well get up or lie there twiddling his thumbs. The thought of dealing with his early morning erection went through his head, but along with that came the images of his dreams last night. He didn’t need any help in inflaming his need for her and imagining her hands on his cock while he got himself off wasn’t the right way to go about it. It would only make him want the real thing more.

With a weary sigh, he yanked on a pair of briefs and cut-off shorts leaving his top-half bare, and padded lightly down the hall. His mind refused to work without at least two cups of coffee charging through his system. He needed to think clearly or he’d go back on his earlier good work of keeping Kelly at arm’s length. And that wouldn’t do either of them any good.

The memory of her wounded eyes flashed into his brain and he stared unseeingly into the fridge. God, she must think him a callous prick. But he’d done the right thing. She was too good for him. She was everything he wasn’t. Good and honest. Kind, loyal and generous. If he allowed her to love him, all those fine qualities of hers would wither and die. In good conscience, he couldn’t let that happen, no matter how much he wanted to. It was of no consequence it felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest with a blunt spoon.

The fridge beeped in agitation and a mechanical chill wafted over him. Grabbing the milk, he closed the door and the room resumed once more to the eerie gloom before dawn. Much like his soul, he thought with a grimace and flicked the kettle on.

After making his coffee, he stepped out onto the balcony and concentrated on the sights and sounds of the new day as it arrived. The cool morning air felt good against the raw wound, easing the itch that went bone deep. Caffeine hit his bloodstream with the desired effect and he drew in deep draughts of air as he gazed out at the scenario before him. The slumbering dark form of Rangitoto Island stretched its long reach over the horizon under the increasingly lighter sky. One by one, the stars winked out and the moon’s luminosity faded under the strengthening sun. Birds started their morning chorus, among them, the distinctive clear warble of the native Tui.

He smiled as he glanced down at the large expanse of greenery the city’s council had insisted upon. He was of the opinion man went mad if surrounded by nothing but a concrete jungle. That’s why even prisoners in jail were afforded a little time to commune with nature. It was good for a man’s soul.

Soft footsteps sounded behind him and his shoulders tensed.

“I’ll put some real coffee on, shall I?”

Without turning, he shrugged and continued to stare out. “Up to you.” He closed his eyes at the further pain he knew he must have been inflicting on her and willed her to move away.

“You are such a coward, O’Leary.”

That made him jerk around. The first thing that registered was the fury on her face. The next turned his insides to mush. Ice-cold fear flushed through his system as he gazed wide-eyed at the apparition beyond her shoulder. “No,” he breathed out in a strangled whisper.

“Yes, you are.”

His eyes flashed to hers. “No. The shadow.” He gasped for air, the pounding in his head making him raise his voice. “It’s standing behind you.”

Kelly’s eyes widened in horror and she spun around, fists flailing.

In a few quick strides, he wrapped his arms around her and held on. Her muffled words were unintelligible against his chest, and he held her tighter.

“Ssh,” he soothed. “It’s gone, I’ve got you. I won’t let anything hurt you.” The irony of his words when he’d been the one to cause her pain just the evening before wasn’t lost on him. And now, he vowed to be her champion?

She shoved at his chest and elbowed him hard in the gut. “I said let me go!” Air whooshed out of him as he doubled over and she stepped out of reach. With shaking hands, she tucked mussed hair behind her ears and glared at him. “Just what exactly did you see?”

Nate’s eyes darted around the room as he straightened, looking for anything out of place. Finding nothing out of the ordinary, they settled back on Kelly’s white face. “It was just like at the beach.” His voice rasped just above a whisper. He cleared his throat. “The shadow appeared behind your shoulder. It was faceless, but I could
feel
it taunting me. Daring me to do something to stop it. It disappeared when I drew your attention to its presence.” His hands clenched at his sides. God, he
hated
feeling so helpless.

To an outsider’s point of view, Kelly would look calm—composed even. She stood in a deceptively strong pose, arms crossed, but he noted the indentations her white-knuckled fingers made on her forearms. He had no doubt when she released them there would be two sets of perfect crescents tattooed into the toned flesh of each arm.

“We still don’t know for sure the shadow you’re seeing signifies that person is the next victim.” Her voice quavered on the last word and her hand rose to touch her necklace but froze inches above it. His eyes tracked the movement. Before she could protest, he wrapped his fingers around it and gave a sharp tug. The fine, gold chain broke easily under the assault. A small victory. If only he could break the curse as easily.

“I’ll get it fixed when this is all over,” he promised. When she only nodded in response, he knew beyond a doubt that she was scared and running on autopilot. Reaching out, he cupped her chin and stroked her jaw with his thumb, forcing her to meet his gaze. “I won’t let you out of my sight. I
will
keep you safe, Kelly.”

She gave him a tremulous smile and stepped back, breaking the contact. “Looks like we’re on a deadline. Pun intended. We’d better get to work.” She took a deep breath and walked towards the kitchen. “For that, I need coffee.”

“A woman after my own heart.”

She laughed bitterly. “We had that conversation last night, Nate. Don’t worry. You made yourself loud and clear.”

He cursed under his breath as she moved off. “About that—”

“No!” She swung around abruptly and pressed her fingers hard against his mouth, her expression fierce. “I don’t want to talk about it. Let’s forget it, shall we? Get on with our lives.”

Nate’s senses buzzed at the feel of her flesh on his mouth. Nostrils flared, taking in her scent, enticing him to taste. It would be so easy to curl an arm around her waist and pull her off balance. She’d fall against him, her body soft in all the right places. A rumble started in his chest and clawed up his throat. He bit it back before it became a fully-fledged sound of arousal and stepped away.

God, he was a heartless bastard. He’d just given her the nightmare news she was the next target of a serial killer, and he was busy thinking erotic thoughts, the day
after
he’d thrown her feelings for him back in her face. With a sick lurch, he realized at that moment, he was as low as some of the predators they put away on a regular basis.

“I’m sorry, Kelly.”
For everything.

She lifted a hand in acknowledgment and strode to the kitchen without a backward glance. Trailing behind, he watched her put the coffee on with quick efficient movements. Soon the room filled with the comforting smell and Nate’s stomach growled. She stood there, unmoving, a blank gaze fixed on the coffee pot. Unable to think of any words of comfort, he turned to the fridge and pulled out some eggs. At least he could feed her. He cracked them into a bowl and started to whisk them, his mind busying itself with the steps to make French toast.

Kelly’s cell phone rang and they both froze. Their eyes met as she pulled it out of her back pocket. Her throat worked when she looked at the screen. When her eyes met his again, his gut clenched.

“Reece? Hi. Oh, God. Another one.” Her eyes closed at whatever she heard, and her fingers pinched the bridge of her nose. “You said she had a son. Where is he? Is he okay?”

The woman from the beach.
Her boy’s wide-eyed stare haunted him. Pure innocence touched by evil. Because he failed to warn her, to make her listen. The whisk clattered into the bowl where he dropped it from suddenly nerveless fingers.
Damn, damn, damn!
Nate’s eyes burned and the walls of the hall shook as he thumped past. Throwing the study’s door wide open, he let rip on the freestanding punching bag in the middle of the room.

“Fuck!” he yelled as he pummeled the bag. His fists pounded the leather in hard, sharp flurries and vicious uppercuts. A primal roar tore from the depths of his belly as he swung and connected over and over. Reverberations shot through his limbs at each punch and he welcomed the pain. It was nothing to what he could have prevented others from feeling, what their loved ones would be feeling now because of his blind arrogance. Another life on his conscience. When would they end? He wondered if she would be coming to haunt him, too.

The room was silent except for the occasional grunt, blows on leather and his harsh breathing. The frame shuddered and rattled with each jolt making his ears ring. Slowly, he became aware the wound in his chest hurt like a bitch. Skin still healing had opened up and blood ran along with sweat down his bare chest to disappear into the waistband of his cut-offs. “Fuck,” he whispered raggedly with one last feeble punch. Exhausted, he slumped onto the bag, his forehead pillowed on his arms.

“Feel better?”

Lifting his head, he swiped a rivulet of sweat out of his eyes and stared as Kelly stepped into the room. Tall and regal, her posture something his grandmother would have approved of, she glided towards him. He frowned at her control until his gaze dropped to her trembling bottom lip, giving her away. She was as rocked by the news as he. Caving in to the urge to touch her, he pulled her to him, consequences be damned. If she felt even a tenth of what he did, she needed comforting. He tucked her head under his chin and held her, swaying gently in time to the beat of his heart.

Her arms squeezed him tightly about the waist as she snuggled closer, heedless of the blood and sweat staining her shirt. “You’re right about the shadow. That bright, vibrant woman of yesterday is dead and her son motherless. Reece sent through a photo. It wasn’t good.”

He stilled, hardly daring to breathe. “The boy is alive?”

“Yes.”

His heart swelled with emotion, and he dipped his chin to rub his cheek against her hair. “Thank God.”

“Yes.” Kelly pulled away slightly and gazed up into his eyes. Her own shone with unshed tears. “I’m scared, Nate.”

He reached down and cupped her face with both hands, his thumb brushing the corner of her mouth to stop the trembling. “I
will
keep you safe,” he promised solemnly. “You have my word.”

Her fingers curled around his palms and brought them down to her breasts. “Touch me.”

He inhaled sharply at the feel of her soft flesh under his hands and his body surged.

“I don’t care if you can only give me short term. I need you, now. I’m numb and I desperately need to feel alive.”

Her whispered plea rocked him to the core and stole his breath. Shock rendered him immobile. He must have taken too long to answer and she backed away, a sob escaping before she bit her lip and averted her gaze, but he caught the fathomless pain in them. She thought he was rejecting her. Again.

He snagged her waist and tugged her back against his aching body where she belonged. “You only had to ask, sweetheart.” He closed his eyes momentarily at the pleasure of her arms winding around his neck and her breasts pressing against his chest before he needed more. He splayed one hand over her back, the other her bottom and pulled her in close. Blue eyes widened at the contact. He rocked his hips and her eyes slid to half-mast. When he lowered his head, her lips parted on a sigh.

The first touch of her mouth was pure torture. Struggling to rein himself in, he kept the pressure light, his hands still, not wanting to scare her off with his wild need. But, God she tasted good. Hands raked into his hair and fisted into handfuls, greedily deepening the kiss and he gave up the struggle. The feel of her tongue slipping along the corners of his mouth sent fire straight to his groin. He groaned. She took advantage and slipped inside, her tongue exploring him without restraint and his own fled.

He let the growl erupt this time, cupped her buttocks and lifted her off her feet.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he instructed when she broke off to protest.

“I’m too heavy. I’ll hurt you.”

“Believe me baby, you’ll hurt me worse if you don’t,” he argued and waited until she did as he asked. Long, leanly muscled legs wrapped around his waist as if made for him and his throat went dry. Sudden fantasies of taking her against the door threatened his control and the heat at the juncture of her thighs threatened his sanity as she pressed snugly against him.

With his jaw tense, he strode to his bedroom and lay her down on the mattress. No matter how often he’d pictured this very scene in his head, it paled in comparison to the reality. Kiss-swollen lips parted slightly, and her heavy-lidded eyes tracked his every move. The expression in them promised to fulfill his deepest fantasies. Her hair fanned out over the dark cover of the bed, glinting gold and silver in the soft morning light. Leaning over, he took the time to brush a strand off her cheek. His fingers rested at the pulse point on her neck, thrilling at the wild beat that matched the pounding of blood in his own veins.

“Are you sure about this Kelly? I’ve gotta warn you, once I start, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. I’ve wanted this for a long time.”

“That’s good,” came her smoky response, “because I don’t want you to stop. I
need
you now, Nate.”

“Thank God,” he murmured under his breath. His hands shook as he traced an imaginary line from her temple, down her neck and followed the outside curve of a breast until reaching her navel. She lifted her hips in invitation. Hooking his fingers into the waistband of her shorts, he peeled them down and off her legs. His eyes travelled a path back up smooth limbs before his heart stuttered at the scrap of lilac satin and lace covering her from his sight. Feral hunger raged through him. He had to touch, to brand her as his.