Beyond Shame (15 page)

Lex licked her mouth and tilted her head to part Noelle's lips with her tongue. Still soft, but no less demanding than Jasper's kiss, especially when she eased Noelle down to sit on the edge of the table and inched a hand under her shirt to stroke her belly.

Then Lex broke the kiss with a slow smile and reached for the next shot on the table. "Gin," she whispered huskily, pressing the glass into Jasper's hand.

He growled. "You like to play with fire." But he drained the shot, jerked Noelle's head back by her hair, and fused his mouth to hers. Moaning, Noelle tangled her fingers in his shirt, clinging to him to try to keep her balance.

Even that wasn't enough when Lex pressed parted lips to her throat, teeth closing lightly on her pulse as Jasper licked the taste of gin onto her tongue. This time, Noelle really had forgotten about everyone else until Ace shouted, "Fuck, Jasper, let her breathe!"

But breathing was overrated, and doubly so when Jasper nudged Lex out of the way to lick Noelle's throat, soothing the ravaged skin. She grasped at his hair, tangling her fingers in the short strands as much as they'd allow as her heart beat its way toward her throat. "Aren't you supposed to let everyone else congratulate me after each shot?"

"You eager to get up?" he asked, nudging Lex's hips harder into the open vee of Noelle's legs.

"Not really," she managed in a shaky voice. It took another deep breath to strengthen her tone. "But I want to do it right. I want to belong."

"That's a done deal, baby girl." Lex lifted Noelle's hand and nodded to the fresh ink encircling her wrist and forearm. "You belong. You always will."

The words hit her in a place the alcohol couldn't, and she tilted her head back to stare up at Jasper. "Three more."

Three more shots and three more kisses, each one dirtier than the last. By the time Jasper let her taste the abrasive, fiery moonshine from his mouth, Noelle had to wrap her legs around Lex's thighs just to keep the room from spinning.

Lex laughed and reached around Noelle to brace her hands on the table, the movement rocking their hips together. "You've
got
to be drunk. It'd be wrong to put my hand in your pants now, wouldn't it?"

Noelle didn't care if Lex stripped her out of her pants entirely, as long as someone kept rocking against her. She stroked Lex's cheek, contrasting the silky softness of the other woman's skin to the alluring scratch of Jasper's beard. "I hear music. Is there going to be dancing?"

"Do you want there to be?"

Noelle almost missed the question when Jasper shifted his hands from her waist to her breasts, his palms crushing the gauzy fabric of her shirt against her tightened nipples. Moaning, she tipped her head back. "Dance. I want to dance. Not like they do in the city, though."

Lex hummed and tugged her off the table, out onto the floor. "I think I know what you want."

Between one thumping bass beat and the next, Noelle found herself pressed against Lex, with Jasper close at her back. He dropped his hands to her hips, holding her steady as he ground against her.

Free. Sinful. Noelle swayed with the music, wrapping one arm around Lex and lifting the other to curl her hand around the back of Jasper's neck. "I'm tingly."

"Wasted's what you are." He laughed, his shirt brushing the skin left bare by the scant back of her blouse.

She had to be. Everything was far away, at a dreamlike distance, as if time bent around her. But touch—oh, touch was
good
. Jasper, hard at her back, and Lex, so soft, rubbing against her chest. Words didn't need to stop at Noelle's brain before tumbling past her lips. "This would be better if we were all naked."

Dallas's laugh rumbled over her as he loomed out of the darkness behind Lex. "I'll say. Sorry I missed your big debut, kitten, but it looks like you're well in hand."

Lex sucked in a soft breath, one Noelle wouldn't have noticed if they hadn't been dancing so close. "The girl wants to move a little," she whispered, tipping her head back on Dallas's shoulder. "Surely Jas and I can handle that."

Dallas dropped an absent kiss to the top of Lex's head and gripped her hips, mirroring the hold Jasper had on Noelle. The moment twisted easily to encompass their leader, and Noelle's imagination conjured the four of them naked and moving together. Not so different from that first party, when she'd had her mouth around Dallas's cock.

Cock. She was even thinking like an O'Kane now, foul in the silence of her own mind. She watched, still lost in that dreamy haze, as one of her hands drifted up all on its own. Over Lex's neck and down, trailing across her breast. "You're beautiful."

"Look at you. So bold." Lex shivered and circled her hips, grinding higher on Noelle's thigh. "You want to climb on top of me sometime, you be my guest."

Jasper groaned. "But not tonight."

Noelle wiggled her ass against his hard erection. "You can't stop me."

"Don't have to." His thumb slipped under the top of her pants to brush her hipbone. "Tell her, Lex."

"Hmm?" Lex arched into Noelle's touch instead.

She couldn't help but laugh. Lex wouldn't pay attention to anything or anyone with Dallas grinding up against her, and the man knew it. He grinned at Noelle over Lex's head, his dangerous eyes dark with amusement. "If you weren't liable to pass out soon, kitten, I'd invite both of you back to my rooms for all of those wicked games you're imagining. Some other time, hmm?"

Her good sense was still disconnected from her mouth. "I played a wicked game this morning," she retorted, and the memory of Ace's odd little nipple rings clamping tight gave her inspiration. The next time Lex arched into her touch, Noelle caught her nipple and pinched it.

The response was instantaneous. Lex gasped, her nipple hardening to a stiff point, but she twisted away from Noelle. "Better sleep it off, baby girl. Soon, you'll get that wish I see dancing behind those big blue eyes."

Dallas filled the empty space in front of Noelle and caught her chin. For a moment, she was frozen in place, trapped between Jasper's unyielding bulk and Dallas's dangerous strength.

The gang leader rubbed his thumb over her lower lip with a smile that seemed more warning than anything else. "Don't be a brat, kitten. Jasper's not going to let you do anything you might regret, no matter how hard you push him. But pushing him won't get you what you want either. You get me?"

Lying was beyond her. "Not really."

He snorted and leaned in to kiss her soundly. "You will. Welcome to the family, sweetheart."

Jasper spoke, his voice low in her ear. "Time to say good night, Noelle."

She watched Dallas melt into the darkness before looking around. Plenty of people were dancing and drinking, and some were doing far dirtier things than that. "The night's barely started," she protested, turning to face Jasper. "I don't want to be the soft city girl who couldn't drink her shots and couldn't stay at her own party."

"Is that really what you're worried about?"

Of course he couldn't understand. He was a rock. Unmoving, unmovable...strong and secure in his place. Noelle slid her hands up his chest with a sigh. "Maybe I just want to have fun. Why does everyone care if I'm wasted? I let you do worse stuff to me when I'm not."

He stiffened, his brows snapping together in a frown. "Worse? That's still what you think, isn't it?"

"No, I don't mean it like that." Fear swept up out of nowhere, spurred on by the hard set of his jaw and the darkness in his eyes. "I know it's not bad, because I trust you. And I don't care. I like it. I want it."

He looked around and exhaled roughly. "You know, you're right. It's your party. You should hang out for a while."

She hadn't fixed it. The words she'd blurted without thinking had damaged something, and she didn't know how to get him back, the fond Jasper with the possessive glint in his eyes. She hovered, torn between storming away in a fit of newly claimed independence and buckling under in pleading submission.

Neither appealed to her.

The stern set of Jasper's jaw softened, but he shook his head. "I'll see you tomorrow." He took a step back, another, then turned and made his way through the crowd.

He left her alone, swaying for reasons that had nothing to do with music. The room swirled around her, heat and music and warm bodies, but Lex had vanished and Rachel was just as absent, and no amount of alcohol made seeking sanctuary in Ace's arms seem like a safe option. She was stranded in a crowd of strangers who were supposed to be her family.

And Jasper had left her alone. To her horror, tears stung her eyes. She whirled to follow him, ready to beg for forgiveness if she had to, and slammed into a solid chest instead.

Brendan caught her before she pitched over. "Chin up," he murmured, "and dance with me. Jas is mad at himself, not you."

Hearing so many words from the usually quiet man shocked her into compliance, and she had both hands around his neck before she knew it. She didn't think he'd said two words to her before tonight, but he and Jasper seemed friendly. "Are you sure?"

"Positive."

"I didn't help much." She dropped her forehead to Brendan's shoulder with a groan. "I
am
too drunk. I keep saying things that aren't a good idea."

He patted her back. "All the more reason to take the night slow."

Brendan was solid like Jasper. She supposed he was attractive, too—not handsome like Ace, but appealing in a raw, starkly masculine sort of way. Her body appreciated being pressed up against his every bit as much as it had approved of Lex, even though his touch was friendly, not seductive. Noelle sighed shakily. "He's the one who started all the fondling. It seems unfair now."

A crooked grin curved Bren's lips. "Life, Noelle. I heard it's like that."

She made a face at him. "Who would ever believe I'd have more luck getting sex in Eden than I have in the heart of O'Kane territory?"

"Well, you're looking at it backwards." He spun her slowly under one upraised arm before drawing her close again. "You can go anywhere and get fucked. You come here to get it good."

This time, pressed against him, she shivered. "You O'Kane men are all very confident."

"That sounded almost like a complaint."

The words came without warning, bubbling up and out in a tangled jumble. "He wants me to figure out what I want but he won't give it to me and something tells me he won't be any happier if I get it from someone else."

Bren brushed his thumb over her lower lip and nodded. "Now you're starting to catch on."

She licked the pad of his thumb. "Maybe I'll just decide not to care if he likes it or not."

"If you figure out how to stop giving a shit whenever you want, let me know how, huh?"

Time to be bold. Time to be a fearless member of the O'Kane gang instead of a sheltered fool from the city. She bit the tip of his thumb and gave him what she hoped was a sultry look. "I could start by having sex like everyone else."

He shook his head, a genuine look of regret painting his features. "Nah, you don't want me. I'm convenient, that's all. But I appreciate the offer."

"You're more than convenient," she protested, because it was the only thing to do other than sink into the floor and die of mortification.

"Are you always this apologetic?"

Noelle hesitated. Considered. "I suppose...yes."

"Why?"

"Because that's what I was raised to be." She dropped her cheek to his shoulder and closed her eyes. "I was supposed to marry an important man and entertain his important friends. I was supposed to be invisible except for when I was supposed to be decorative, and capable enough to keep everything running smoothly. If anyone was dissatisfied with anything, it meant I wasn't doing my job."

Bren pressed his lips to her temple. "But you're not in Eden anymore."

His touch was almost tender, and Noelle melted against him. "I thought you were supposed to be scary, but you're sweet."

"I'm both, darling. Most everyone here is." He paused. "Remember that."

Lex

She ducked into the closest room with a door that locked. The storeroom was packed high with boxes, but it also held an extra corner booth from the Broken Circle, its table stripped away, leaving only a semicircle of plush black leather.

She didn't have to wait long.

Dallas closed the door and twisted the lock. "Your little pet's growing up fast."

"Isn't she?" Lex backed up to the wall beside the leather seat. "It's enough to give a woman ideas."

"Why am I not surprised?" He slid onto the leather and stretched his arms across the back of the booth. "The boys are stroking their dicks half raw imagining what you do to her every night when you close your bedroom door."

She eased onto the seat beside him. "You don't have to imagine. You could watch."

He arched an eyebrow. "Is that an invitation to start something, or confirmation that you're corrupting her when the lights go out?"

It was hard to tell which answer he preferred. "It could be an invitation," she murmured. "If Jas doesn't mark her soon, you could step in. No one would fault you for it."

"No one except Jas." Dallas continued to study her. "I can't tell if you want me to fuck Noelle or collar her, but I'm sure as hell not doing the latter."

"Don't you like her?"

"She's not my type, love. If Jas handles her right, he'll have a sweet little sub to pet and cuddle. That's fun for a night or two, but it's not for me."

And yet Lex could have sworn that was exactly what Dallas wanted—a woman who would gladly, happily be owned. "I think it might be—under the right circumstances."

His dark gaze didn't shift from her face. "And what are those?"

Always so intense, and it was that intensity that drew her closer even as she felt locked into place. Ensnared.

Lex straddled his leg and settled with her hand resting lightly on his fly. "I know what you were thinking the other night. What you wanted to see while she was sucking your dick."

His expression remained bland, but his dick hardened. "What did I want to see?"