Beyond Shame (11 page)

Because he was a man who took orders from no one—except for Dallas. Jasper's confidence was intoxicating in a world that seemed fluid, lawless. "I wouldn't know," she murmured, drinking in the sight of Jas with his muscular arms draped over his chest and his expression stern. "I don't give him orders."

He stepped forward and dragged his thumb down the inside of her elbow before beginning to buckle a strap. "Because you're smart, honey. Ace doesn't understand smart."

Ace's laughter drifted over her, but Noelle couldn't look away from Jasper as he fixed her elbow in place. Helplessness had been her constant companion since she'd stumbled through the gates of Eden, but this wasn't frightening. This was giving over control, putting herself in his hands, and it made helplessness her own choice.

She drew in a deep breath and wiggled against the seat. "What does Ace understand?"

"Sex. Simple control." Jas pulled the strap taut. "The moment, but not what comes after it. After everyone comes down."

Coming down had been the sweetest part of the previous night. Not that Jas had let her get off—she was still strung too tightly after no relief and a night of erotic dreams—but he'd stroked her and petted her as she eased away from the edge, turning the sharp scorch of frustration into a slow-burning promise.

Jasper moved to the second strap, and Ace swabbed something cool and wet over the inside of her wrist. She started to glance back at him, but a soft
buzz
filled the room as pain jabbed into her wrist.

It hurt. It hurt the same way as when her mother had pinched the inside of her arm in punishment for using unladylike words, vicious little twists that left her bruised under her prim, long-sleeved blouses. Noelle clenched her free hand into a fist and dug her teeth into her lower lip, remembering Jasper's words.

A reward. All she had to do was endure the pain.

Jas stroked her brow, trailed his fingertips over her temple and into her hair. "Filling in the bar code will probably hurt the worst." His voice was low, even. "But it's all you have to do today. If he finishes and you want to go for the full cuffs, that's okay. But you don't have to, not yet."

Slow breaths. She snuck a peek at Ace, but watching the needle stab into her skin made her woozy, so she turned back to Jasper, leaning into his touch. "Dallas is okay with me having the cuffs?" Surely it couldn't have been a week already, though the days and nights blurred together in a haze of liquor, smoke, and sex.

"He changed his mind about the wait." Jas smiled. "My guess? You were right, and Lex went to bat for you. He doesn't tell her no."

No, he didn't seem to. Noelle closed her eyes as the spot where the needle pierced her wrist began to burn. "Tell me what they mean. What will happen if I take them."

"It's O'Kane ink. Once you have it, you
are
the gang. Anyone hurts you, they hurt all of us. They hassle you? They answer to everyone."

Ace swiped at her wrist again. The burning worsened, but the pain melted somehow between her arm and her brain. Her heart beat faster as he spoke, his words drifting over the hum of the needles. "You'd be one of us, princess. Everything you need taken care of, as long as you put the gang first."

"I can do that," she whispered, pressing her thighs together. God, being touched was supposed to be the reward. What would Jasper think if he pried her knees apart and found her aroused?

"You'll belong to Dallas, same as we all do." Jas stroked the inside of her unmarked wrist. "Then, when you're ready, you can belong to someone else in a different way."

She'd met a girl in the bar who wore ink like a collar around her throat. Anyone who looked at her knew she was taken. A more primal version of the wedding bands worn in Eden, but with the same significance. A woman belonged to her partner.

At least out here, the men seemed wary of pissing off their women.

Ace started another line, and Noelle sank her teeth into her lower lip as the pain intensified, and the pleasure along with it.

Jas gently freed her lip from the bite of her teeth and licked it. "Getting better?"

Every bit of warmth rushed to her center, as if his tongue had granted her permission to feel. She moaned and arched as much as she could, and the leather straps digging into her arms only made it more delicious. "Yes," she whimpered, finally understanding Rachel's words.

This... This could be addictive.

Jas spoke, the words hot against her skin but not for her ears. "How much longer?"

"Another couple minutes." Ace chuckled. "You're a dirty girl, aren't you, princess? I can't tell what you like more, the leather or the needles."

Both and neither, because only one thing tied them all together. "Jasper. I like Jasper more."

"No whining," he murmured, then licked the corner of her mouth. "Barely even a whimper. You deserve your reward, honey."

"What'd you promise her, brother?"

"Your tongue, for starters." The back of Jas's hand brushed her nipple through her shirt. "I figured you'd be down with that."

She squirmed as Ace laughed, the sound dark and low. "Better tell me where I can and can't put it. Fingers too."

"Both, wherever it gets her off the hardest." A thread of steel wound through Jas's voice. "But keep your dick in your pants. This is about Noelle."

About her. All about her, and she was already melting at the thought of it. She twisted her head and tried to catch Jasper's mouth, but he held her back and licked her lips again. "When Ace has you fixed up, honey. Then I'm going to kiss you while he fucks you with his tongue."

She had to pant to get enough air to speak. "That's so dirty."

"Mmm." Jas reached down to grip her leg, his fingers curving along her sensitive inner thigh. "You can tell him not to touch you."

Did he want her to? Was this a test of loyalty? Tension started to curl around her, until she realized her answer was the same either way. "He can if you want him to."

Ace clucked his tongue. "If you'd ever had my face between your legs before, you'd sound more excited."

Noelle ignored him and stared into Jasper's eyes as the world floated around her. "Anything, if you think it'll make me feel good. I want to feel good."

Jas's fingernails dug into her skin, just a little. "You can't separate them, can you? Whatever
I
want will get you off." He bent low, spoke directly into her ear. "I want you to have other people, find out what you like. Get and give pleasure before you settle on me."

There was a message under the words, one she'd have to think hard about. Later. For now, she could only nod and ease her knees apart. "I like this." If he slid his hand up a few inches, under her skirt, he'd see how much.

Instead, his hand retreated. "Open your mouth."

She obeyed without hesitation.

He studied her, his gaze roving over her parted lips. Finally, he eased his thumb between them. "Suck."

It was like one of her dark fantasies come to life. Jasper, looming over her bound, helpless body, rasping dirty commands. Orders that absolved her of any complicity in her own defilement. Shuddering, she sealed her lips tight and sucked, and she'd almost forgotten about Ace until he hissed out a breath. "Fucking hell, Jasper."

"I know." He glided the pad of his thumb over her tongue. "She's beautiful."

Drunk on the look in his eyes, on the buzz trembling through her body, Noelle scraped her teeth over his thumb.

He pulled free of her mouth with a
pop
and smiled approvingly. "That's good, honey." The smile lingered as he tugged lightly at her silky shirt. "Is this Lex's too?"

"Yes. I didn't buy much yesterday." Mostly just the corset, the one he'd liked so much.

He drew something from his pocket, but she didn't get a good look at it until it clicked and light glinted off the blade. A knife. He teased the tip under the already-plunging neckline and slit the fabric clean away from her skin.

Her breasts spilled free, unbound and heavy. She twisted so hard that Ace grabbed her forearm with a warning noise, but she
couldn't
sit still. Her pulse pounded in her ears and between her legs. She was painfully aware of her clitoris, of the way it seemed as hard and hungry as her nipples.

If he cut off her skirt, she might come from that alone.

But he folded the knife and put it away. "Stay still, honey. The longer it takes, the longer you wait."

"Jasper—"

Before he could say anything, Ace tweaked her nipple, pinching hard enough to force her breath out in a moan. "Jesus, she's hot for it," he murmured as he went back to the tattoo. "One more line, honey, and then we'll play with you."

"She'll want the cuffs too." Jas sounded certain.

"That so?" Ace drawled.

As if there was any question. Noelle felt as if every day stripped away a layer of numbness, a layer of respectability. The girl who'd stumbled out of Eden might have bowed beneath the hard work and endless rules of the commune.

The girl she wanted to become could only live here, in the darkness of the sector slums. "Yes. I want cuffs."

Ace hummed. "What do you say, Jasper? How much more can she take without someone working her off?"

He stroked the same nipple Ace had tweaked, a gentle touch instead of a rough one. "Not long. Finish blacking out the bar, and we'll give her a break, make her come. Then you can start on the rest."

Noelle groaned and rocked on the seat, so hungry she didn't care if she looked shameless. "Have you two done this a lot? Tied a girl up and made her listen to you talk dirty about what you were going to do to her?"

"Oh, she's cute, Jas. She thinks we've been talking dirty."

"Ace isn't dirty," Jas observed conversationally as his hand drifted down, over the waistband of her skirt. "He's obscene."

Lower.
Lower.
If she thought it hard enough, maybe he'd slide his fingers over her wet panties and realize how close she was to shaking to pieces. "What's the difference?"

Ace finished the final line with a flourish and reached out to catch her chin, forcing her to look at him. "Dirty's saying I'm going to make you come. Obscene's saying I'm going to spread your pretty pink pussy lips open and spank your clit until you come all over my face."

Oh
God
.

Jas chuckled softly. "Obscene makes for quite a show, doesn't it, Noelle?"

Obscene
made her clench tight in anticipation. Not even embarrassment could banish the entrancing image, though her imagination put Jasper between her knees. His hand opening her, his fingers delivering punishment and pleasure.

She wet her lips and closed her eyes. "I like it."

The hem of her skirt inched higher on her thighs. "How much?" Jas asked.

Saying it shouldn't be any worse than enjoying it, but she had to force the words out in a raspy, self-conscious whisper. "Enough to beg you to—to touch my pussy. Either of you. Both of you."

"Enough to trust us to take care of you, no matter what?"

"Yes.
Yes.
" And it wasn't a lie. Even Ace's irritating
princesses
and crude flirting didn't bother her when Jasper so obviously ruled over his friend. And she trusted Jasper. With everything.

Jas's hand slid higher under her skirt, almost distracting her from the stab of discomfort as Ace smoothed some sort of gel over the inside of her wrist.

She felt like the surface of the family's garden fountain before the workers turned on the water in the morning. Still and dark, a smooth mirror that would erupt in endless waves with a single touch.

One touch. She could have arched her body off the chair and found his fingers. Instead, she let her eyes drift open and stared up at Jasper. Waiting. Needing.

He licked her lips and fused his mouth to hers.

It wasn't the right sort of touch, but she melted into it anyway, moaning against his lips as she strained toward him. She barely felt Ace's fingers stroking down her arms, because everything was Jas. His lips, his tongue, the scrape of his beard, the promise of everything he'd give her.

"Open," he whispered again, into her mouth, and she didn't know if he meant for him or for Ace, so she parted her lips and slid her knees wide.

It was Ace who shoved her skirt up, and Ace who groaned. "You've got to be shitting me. Who bought her the fucking white ruffled panties?"

She couldn't answer with Jasper's tongue in her mouth, but if it hadn't been there, she could only have managed pleas. Her clit pulsed, ached with a ferocity she hadn't imagined possible. If Ace would simply touch her...

But he didn't. He swept his fingers along the insides of her trembling thighs and laughed when she squirmed. "Should I rip 'em, Jas? Or do you want to cut these off too?"

Jas pulled away far enough to answer. "Neither. Leave them around her ankles."

"Yeah, I'd want to keep them around too." Ace urged her hips up, and Noelle lifted her body as much as she could with her arms bound immobile.

The reminder of helplessness sharpened her need, and she whimpered and rubbed shamelessly against Jasper. "Please, Jas. Please make him touch me. I want to come—I need to."

Ace settled his hands on her knees and pressed them wide before tracing back to her sex. "Now, Jasper?"

"Now."

Noelle tensed, dizzy with anticipation, but Ace moved just his thumbs, stroking her folds before parting them. She was held open in every sense of the word, her arms flung wide, her knees forced apart, her most intimate places utterly on display.

It should have been humiliating. In the one second she had to think, she hated that it wasn't, hated herself for her deviance.

Ace's mouth closed over her clit, and he sucked so roughly she screamed at the shock of it with the last air she had before orgasm crashed into her, tearing everything else apart. She screamed and she shook, her entire body tensing and releasing with each wave, and distantly she heard Ace's groan of approval, felt his fingers twisting and stroking, landing on her clit in stinging little slaps that dragged her from the hollow of one wave to the peak of the next.