Beyond Repair (Broken Girl Book 1) (14 page)

I pace across the room like a caged animal. I’m going to fucking kill her. Actual murder. This is eight steps too fucking far. I stop and stare up at the ceiling of Kate’s lounge as if divine intervention is going to give me the strength to calm the fuck down. Nope. Nada. Nothing. Lydia Baker is going to die tonight so help me God. I glance at Kate curled up on the sofa, silent tears staining her face. Once again her best friend has resulted her into a blubbering mess. History is sure as shit repeating itself. Why the hell are we even dealing with this? This is a job for her father, not us. I reach into my pocket for my cell, then groan internally when I feel it isn’t there. I’ve left it sitting on the coffee table at home with Cerys. Damn it. I turn back to face my cousin.

“Kate, give me your cell.”

She raises wide eyes at me, “Why? Do you need to call Cerys? You can go if you want, you don’t have to wait here. Joe will be back with Lydia in a couple of minutes.”

I can’t help the snort I expel at the mention of her name, “No. I’m going to call Mayor Baker. He should be dealing with his psychotic daughter.”

“No!” Kate is out of her seat and in front of me in less than a second. She clings to my arm, her eyes pleading and desperate. “You can’t, Cal.”

“Why? Why the hell not? She assaulted a police officer, Kate. She’s gone too far.”

“She did it for me.”

What the fuck?

“How can she have done that for you? Please explain to me what attacking a decent man does for you?” I pull away from her and continue my pacing. “This is ridiculous. She’s got you wrapped so tight that you’re blaming yourself for her fuck ups. Are you kidding me?”

“It isn’t like that,” she says, barely more than a whisper. “You have no idea just how much that girl has done for me. You have no idea what she’s been through because of me.”

I halt my steps to face her, “Because of you? Fuck off. All she’s ever done is bring trouble. She left you sitting on the sidewalk today, Kate. You’re fucking pregnant. You shouldn’t be dealing with this stress right now. You shouldn’t have to watch your best friend lose her shit. What if you got hurt, huh? Do you think she thought about that?”

“She was protecting me! She always protects me,” she’s shouting now and right in my face. “She was doing the only thing she knew would help me in that situation, just like she did back in high school.”

Her mouth suddenly clamps shut. This is it. This is all the shit I’ve been missing since I got home. This is what all the hushed whispers and secret looks are about. Why would Kate need protecting?

“What are you talking about, Kate? Why do you need to be protected from a police officer?”

She shakes her head and takes a step back.
I don’t think so.

“Kate,” I growl.

She doesn’t reply as the front door opens in the distance. Seconds later Lydia bursts into the room and beelines for Kate. She pulls her around to face her and palms each side of her face. Her eyes are wide in horror as they rake over Kate's body. This is not how I expected her to act. Where's the attention seeking? Where are the crocodile tears? Kate places her hand on Lydia's shoulder and nods.

"I'm okay, Lyds."

"Are you sure?" Lydia asks. "I mean really sure? Because I swear if you have even the tiniest grey hair forming because of him I'll go kick his ass right now. Kitty, are you really okay?"

Kate laughs, but it's humorless.

"Lydia. I promise. I'm okay."

"No thanks to you," I murmur, apparently not too quietly as Lydia's head suddenly whips my way.

Oh shit. Her eyes darken to sapphires, hard jewels burning holes right through me. I fight back a flinch from the venom in them. This is so unlike Lydia. I've never seen her mad or angry. Out of the corner of my eye I see Joe disappear into the kitchen. I brace myself for the onslaught I can feel already.

"Excuse me?"

It's not a question. No. She's daring me to repeat what she just heard me say. Or giving me the chance to change what I said. I clear my throat.

"I'm just saying, if she's at all stressed right now it's because of the shit you pulled today. The shit you always pull. You may be all grown up now, but you're still fucking unhinged. You're the worst thing that ever happened to Kate and you know it. What's up now? Forget to make your meds today, huh?"

Why the hell did I say that?
I immediately want to take my words back, but the chilling smile she flashes silences me. Kate grips at her arm as she moves towards me but she brushes her off. I force myself to stay rooted in my spot, despite the way my head is begging my body to make an escape. I shouldn't have said that, I didn't mean to say it. I know it's such an asshole thing to say but she brings the worst out in me. Because of that I've kept my contact with her to a minimum since Cerys and I got back together. Plus my girlfriend doesn't exactly approve of Lydia's eccentric nature. So how would I know if she's keeping up with her medication? For all I know she's replaced them with tic-tacs and tequila. She stops toe-to-toe with me and locks her eyes with mine. I hold the gaze, letting my inner anger keep my face straight.

"What is your fucking problem? You don't know anything. You were too busy living the high life with your Malibu Barbie to see what was happening to your own family. You think I'm the enemy, that I'm the problem? Fine. Whatever. I couldn't care less what you think of me, but don't you fucking dare act like you understand my friendship with your cousin because you don't understand shit."

"Oh I understand just fine. Every psychotic bitch needs a normal friend they can abuse."

"Callum!" Kate screeches.

"What?" I ask, turning to face my cousin. "We all know it's true. Lydia has a bad day and it's Kate to the fucking rescue."

I put my focus back on Lydia, "The best thing your father did was sending you to that asylum. He should have done it sooner."

The hardness in her face crumples at my words as she sucks in a ragged breath. It's an instant sucker punch to my stomach, dousing my anger immediately. Pain flashes in her eyes but she remains silent. I know I've gone too far. I know I've hurt her, and that knowledge almost brings me to my knees. I'm mad at her, but I don't want to be the reason she has that look in her eyes. I reach for her but she steps back as if my touch would kill her.

"Callum, I think you need to go now."

I turn at Joe's words. His face is taut in anger, his voice almost a growl. He stands in the doorway of the kitchen with a tray topped with cups of coffee. He should look ridiculous, but instead he looks terrifying. I know he's protective over Lydia, but this is a whole new side.

"No, it's okay," Lydia says. She shakes her head almost violently. "He's right. I'm gonna go. Thanks for picking me up, Joe."

She doesn't wait for any argument or comments, just hightails it out of the room and bangs the front door shut behind her. Joe dumps the coffee on the table and walks over to Kate, gripping her hand.

"You're going to sit down now and tell him everything. From the beginning," he says to her and then turns to me. "And you're going to feel like an ass for the shit you've just said. She didn't deserve that."

I nod, because I know deep down that he's right, and slump down on to the armchair. Kate sighs heavily then folds into the sofa, her hand still clutching Joes. The nerves are radiating off her, spilling all over the room, and seeping into my own pores. Whatever she's about to enlighten me on is big. I can feel it.

"It all started the summer before sophomore year at school I was still sort of reeling from when Lydia attempted suicide and I was missing her like crazy whilst she wasn't allowed outside," she shrugs. "I didn't really have any other friends."

I nod, remembering. Kate was quiet and shy when we were younger, it's why I've never understood her friendship with Lydia. They’re so different, like polar opposites.

"Mayor Baker wouldn't let anyone visit Lyds at home so I started spending my time in the library. That's where I met him," She takes an audible breath, releasing it slowly. "He'd come in almost every day and make a point to talk to me, always offering me rides home. Remember how I used to ask you to take me to the big library in the city?"

I nod as the memory washes over me. I was always too busy with the guys to take her anywhere.

"Well that's why. He creeped me out right from the start, always asking if I had a boyfriend or not," she shakes her head. "When school started back in the fall, he'd randomly appear in the parking lot or on my walk home. When Lydia came back, he stopped appearing and somehow got my cell number. I'd get texts off him all day, every day. I tried to ask him to stop, but he wouldn't."

Anger is rising slowly in me, but I squash it down. I need her to finish this story before my imagination can drum up any more fucked up scenarios. Whoever this guy is, I wanna kick his ass already.

"Why didn't you tell me you were being harassed? Or the police? Who is this guy, Kate, and what the hell has he got to do with Stanton?"

"I tried. I told him I'd press charges if he didn't leave me alone and he laughed. He said that I'd get into trouble if I told and that Lydia or anyone else would too if they knew. You were getting ready to go to college and Lydia was already going through some major stuff with her dad. I couldn't risk anything messing that up for either of you."

Joe pulls her closer, "It's okay, baby. It's time to get this all out now."

She nods once and sucks in a deep breath. "Do you remember the Halloween Party that year?"

I think back. It would have been the year before I left for LA. Hazy, drunken memories enter my mind. It was a senior party, but almost everyone from school was there. I'd been shocked when I saw Kate there, drunk off her ass, and all alone in the garden out back. I remember being pissed that I had to bail to take her home. I was just about to hook up with Jenna Carmichael.

"Yeah, I remember," I say. "You were on your own. I figured Lydia had gotten you drunk off your ass and left you."

She laughs, shaking her head, "Oh I was drunk off my ass alright, but Lydia was never out."

"What? She wasn't?"

"No. Her dad locked her in her bedroom. I told you, she was going through her own hell back then. You really have no idea who she is or what she’s been through,” she lets her head fall back. “I didn't even plan on going to the party, I just wanted to go out. I stole a bottle of vodka from your mom's liquor cabinet and went to the park. I was there almost an hour when he showed up. I tried to leave, but I'd been drinking and I was clumsy."

She’s whispers now, "I was stupid."

A ball of ice cold dread begins to crawl through my veins, freezing everything until it's almost painful to breathe. It wraps around my bones, cementing it’s hateful claws there. Her eyes harden to stone.

"He raped me for the first time that night, then dropped me outside the party," she brings her free hand to her stomach and rests it there on my unborn nephew/niece. "You found me a few minutes later."

I don't respond. I can't. What the hell do I say? I'm her family. I should have been there to protect her. My fists are clenched without me even registering what I'm doing. I need a name. I need a face I can rearrange. I need to punish whichever asshole is responsible for this, and then I need to do it all over again. 

"Who is it?" I force out between clenched teeth.

She shakes her head, "Let me finish. I have to get this all out. You have to understand."

Joe hits me with a heated look, silently telling me to shut my mouth. I reluctantly nod my agreement.

"After that he'd find ways to get me alone, and it became a regular thing. I didn't tell anyone, and I let him get away with the awful things he was doing. To get through it, I drank excessively almost every night. Lydia would drink with me just to make sure I wasn't alone. I wouldn't tell her what was happening so she'd take my mind off it all with these stupid little games," a wistful small smile curls at the corner of her mouth as I begin to recall all the times Kate came home blind drunk. "Everyone assumed it was Lydia's fault I was such a mess. She took that blame, for me. I tried to correct them, but she wouldn't allow it. She used to say that I was destined to be bigger than this town, and she was destined to be drunk off her ass so why not start early."

A small chuckle escapes her, "She's always been special. By the time Winter Formal came around, I was out of control. Between drinking, lying to Lydia and hiding from him, I was mentally exhausted. I didn't even care when he found me at school that night. I let him lead me off into one of the classrooms because why fight it?" She blows out a breath. "Lydia walked in as he was getting ready to leave. She put all the pieces together immediately and fucking lost it. I thought she was going to kill him. He ran from the room and she stayed with me, practically screaming at me for not telling her."