Beyond Repair (Broken Girl Book 1) (13 page)

Son of a bitch.

As if that fucker is standing my fine ass up. I stare down at my cell as if accusing it for Callum not picking up my calls. He should have been here twenty minutes ago! I think I'm quite within my rights to be pissed about this. Hell, I don't even care if I'm not. I never asked him to give me a ride, he
offered
. I was more than okay with getting the bus. Okay, that's a lie. I hate the bus, but I hate Callum more. That's also a lie. I don't hate him. I want to, but my vagina has other ideas.
Where the hell is he?
I only saw him yesterday and he confirmed he was still good to take me into the city. This is all Tyde's fault, and his stupid idea to change my pills. I hate that I can't drive myself. Fucking hate it. I punch Cal's number in again and listen. After the fifth
ring-ring
I groan loudly and hang up. Fuck. This. I strop into my bedroom and search for a jacket, settling on a light denim one to cover the white 'Came For Food, Not Bitches' shirt that Kitty got me for my birthday last year. I have it tucked into a black skater skirt but it still mostly hangs out due to my pocket-sized height. Almost everything I own is too big for me. Honestly, dressing myself is like dressing a doll sometimes. I glance at myself in the mirror, frowning at the bubblegum-blue hair spilling out under the grey beanie hiding my latest home-salon disaster. I should really stop doing this shit myself. I shrug internally then step into my new baby pink chucks. I'd normally tone down my awesome sense of style when hanging with Callum in public, but as the fucker is attempting to ditch me, he's about to get me in all my glory.
Lucky bastard
.

I take the steps out to the parking lot two at a time and begin to rush towards the sidewalk. Callum's loft is only a twenty-minute walk away, so it's not too bad. He lives right in town, where as I live in a small apartment complex the other side of the park, and as far away from the main town as humanly possible. 

It takes me longer than the estimated twenty minutes to get there, due to every asshole and his dog stopping me for a chat. It takes all my inner strength to not throat punch each and every one of them. By the time I reach his place, my head is about to explode so I don't bother with his buzzer. Thanks to Kitty's carelessness a couple of days ago, I have his spare key.
Whoops
. I hoof it up to the loft and push open his door. I'm met with whore-moans and grunts coming from somewhere inside.
Is he watching porn and whacking off when he should be giving me a ride?
Oh hell no. I look around for the source of the noise. The TV is off, and I can see he's not on the bed. I turn to the kitchen as what I can only describe as a hyena’s screech echoes out.
Fuck
. Okay, not porn. Actual sex. He has an actual girl in his kitchen. I should leave, I really should, but damn I curious. Who is she? Jealousy tries to claim me, but I brush it off. I have no right to be jealous. He can fuck whoever he pleases. Just not when he's supposed to be doing me a solid.

I really have no other option than to make him take me. If I take the bus, people may die. My psych is not fully equipped for lots of people in tiny spaces. I take a deep breath and stroll through the room in their direction. They haven't noticed me yet, but I have to fight back my laugh when he see him thrusting like a champ into Ash Blonde over the kitchen counter. I spy the coffee maker in the corner, the Call of The Caffeine gripping onto me. Without thinking about it, I walk over.
That's
when they notice me.

"Lydia, what the hell?"

I turn and flash Callum a grin. This is going to be awesome.

"Oh, don't mind me. I'll just have coffee and wait for you to be done. You're already like an hour late but whatever."

I ignore Blondie's squealing as she tries to cover up her fake tanned skin and continue with the task of making the perfect cup of coffee. It's difficult with Callum's really awful machine, but it will do. Maybe I should buy him a new one? Would that be weird?
Hey, Cal. I got you a new coffee maker because yours makes it taste like ass
. Nah, not weird at all. When it beeps and the scent of roasted beans filters through, I pour out a cup and head back out of the kitchen. Or at least I try. Naked Callum suddenly has a death grip on my arm. I spin around to face him, suppressing my smirk at the sight of the girl hiding behind him. She's scowling right into my face and I kinda love it.

"What's up?" I ask, feigning complete innocence.

"Uh, why the fuck are you here?" Cal responds.

I Smile. He's trying to look mad, but I can see he's as amused as me. She is definitely not seeing the funny side of this. Instead she's looking me up and down, eyes wide in horror as she takes in my appearance. I squash the urge to kick her in the clit. Even naked I can see she isn't the type to accept a girl like me. I bet she was the top bitch in high school, comes from money, and wears pant suits to work.
Lame
. Still, her silent examination of me has me feeling the familiar itch of inadequacy all over my body. I force my focus onto Callum, using every last strain of sense I have to portray confidence and indifference.

"Well,
friend
. You told me yesterday before we watched porn together that you'd drive me to the city to get my new laptop," I smirk and take a sip of my coffee, letting the memory of him twitching on my sofa wash over me. "I'm a little upset that you forgot all about me."

He curses and rubs a hand over his face as I lean against the doorframe. I take the time to admire just how awesome naked Callum is. I knew he was hiding a sensational body under all that suit and tie bullshit. He's well defined, broad, and sexy as sin. All of that is before I get to the impressive length he’s got between his legs. Oh man. He’s still hard as a rock and every time he shifts his muscles, the head smacks against his stomach. If he hadn’t just been inside someone else, I’d have my mouth wrapped around him. I kinda want to see if I can get the whole thing in. Like a personal challenge sort of thing. I swallow a big gulp of coffee to hide the drool threatening to spill out.

"Shit, Little Bit. I totally forgot," he looks from me to her and then back again before releasing a long breath and settling on her. "Cerys," he starts.

"You've got to be kidding me," she says, cutting him off and glaring in my direction. "Who the hell is this girl? Get rid of her, Callum."

I clear my throat, ignoring the way her obvious distaste for me makes me want to curl up into a ball and hide.
Stay cool, Lyds
.

"Hi, I'm Lydia. I'm the last girl he had bent over that kitchen counter."

Her hand flies to her mouth, which does absolutely nothing to hide the gasp that escapes her. Callum's reaction is much cooler. He pretends to cough in an attempt to cover his laugh, which only makes it seem more obvious. And because I'm obviously not done yet, I flash them both an obnoxiously toothy smile before turning and strolling into the lounge. I drop down onto the leather sofa and listen in to the hushed whisper-shouts in the kitchen as I drink my coffee.

"Who the hell is she?"

"Cerys, calm down. It's just Lydia, Kate's friend."

Just Lydia. Geez, charming. I wasn't
just Lydia
last night when he all but slobbered all over me. Did he think I didn’t notice the epic, stiff rod in his jeans? Please. I reached ultimate masturbation levels last night just thinking about it. 

"Well what the hell is she doing walking into your place unannounced?"

"Um... I dunno. She's just like that. Look forget about her, okay? I said I'd run her to some store in the city. I'll be like an hour at most."

That's what you think, pretty boy
. I have plans to fully utilize my ride into the city by buying up all sorts of crap. Knowing it will piss her off only makes me want to do it more. She storms from the kitchen and because I'm a bitch, I offer her a friendly wave as she passes me and shuts herself into the bathroom, but not before giving me a flash of her vag. Oh fuck. She has a
hairy fairy.
She’s all natural down there, like
all
natural. Who the hell has a sex date without grooming the lady palace? I mean, what? I fight back my shudder. Just wait until Kate hears about this. Just. Wait. I mean, come on. I’m so grossed out that I almost jump when Callum lets out a groan in frustration and walks over to his closet. He disappears inside, then reappears wearing jeans and an ugly green sweater. I frown at the sight. He looks much better naked. Should I tell him? Probably not. He slumps down next to me.

"You're not funny."

I smile wide. "Yes. Yes, I am."

“I’m going to need you to have a girl.”

Kate laughs, but I’m super serious. I don’t know how to buy baby stuff for a boy. I can’t dress a boy in the awesome clothes that the child of my best friend deserves. But a girl, a girl I can work with. I run my hand across the fabric of the tiny little pink tutu.

“We find out in a couple of weeks what it will be. Calm down.”

Calm down.
Is she insane? I’m not capable of calming down. It isn’t in my DNA. Especially when I’m more excited than a kid at Christmas about the whole thing. It took some getting used to, but I’m practically giddy now. Especially now she has a small bump forming. I turn to face her, then drop my gaze to her stomach.

“Hi baby,” I say, talking directly to the person she’s growing. “It’s Aunty Lyds again. We need to discuss your genitals.”

Kate laughs and tries to push my hands away when I press them against the bump but I push her away and continue, “No growing a penis, kay? I want to buy pretty dresses, and I can’t so that if you turn into a boy otherwise you’ll get a complex and your daddy will never forgive me.”

I smile up at Kate and step away from her. We’ve been shopping for baby things for the past couple of hours. So far the newest little addition to our dysfunctional family has an abundance of blankets, teddies, and all sorts of wonderfully cute things courtesy of it’s crazy Aunt Lyds. I’m obsessed with buying things. I tried to buy the crib, but was scolded for it. Apparently, that’s
too much,
whatever that is supposed to mean. I pick up a couple of fluffy baby bath towels and toss them into the cart I’m pushing around. Kitty shakes her head but I ignore it and add in some of the baby lotions and crap too.

“So, what do you make of Cerys?”

I laugh at her question. Since I caught Callum sticking it to his ex-girlfriend last month, she’s become just girlfriend, without the ex.

“She has a hairy vag, Kitty. I can never trust her.”

I shudder from the memory of catching a glimpse of her unshaved cock-cave. Just, no.

“Lydia!” Kate scolds, but I can hear the laughter. We had a good old chuckle about the whole thing that very night. “You can’t say that. She seems nice.”

I snort-laugh. Poor Kitty can never see the bad in people unless it’s smacking her right in the face. She’s always been the same, and it’s why we’re friends. If she’d seen all that’s wrong with me back when we first met, she’d have never shared her juice box with me in Kindergarten.

“She’s only interested in him now he’s Mr Successful again.”

Kate sighs and the pity there almost makes me want to choke on my own vomit. I don’t see Callum much now he’s reunited with his college beauty. She doesn’t approve of the friendship we had blossoming. Can’t say I blame her. I don’t think I’d be cool with my boyfriend being friends with someone like me either.

I don’t get to hear Kate’s reply as she suddenly has the grip of death on my shoulder, her nails digging into the bare skin there.

“Ouch, geez Kitty. What the hell?”

She doesn’t respond so I follow her wide gaze across the store. It lands on someone I hate more than my father and now she’s not the only one with a death grip. Only mine is on the cart handle in front of me.
Fuck.
I whip my gaze back to Kate. She’s paled, her entire body trembling. Flashes of that night play like a slideshow in my mind, each frame as hideous as the last. I use all my strength to push it down, but my new meds are stronger than anything I’ve ever had before and they make everything hazy. I need to stay strong for Kate right now. I can’t afford to lose my shit when she’s about to quite rightly lose hers.

“Kate, let’s go.”

I try and tug her away but she doesn’t budge. She’s frozen to the spot, and it’s like I’m transported back to our Sophomore Winter Formal. She’d been frozen then too, when I found her.
With him
. Alone in that fucking classroom. She’d clung at her dress in silence as he buttoned up his shirt. I force the images violently from my mind, but it’s difficult. I do what she’s always done for me. I rest my hand softly on her arm and lean in to her.

“I got you, Kitty. It’s going to be okay,” I whisper.

She nods slowly, but I can smell the fear on her. I have to get her out of here.
He
must smell it too, because he’s suddenly right next to us. I glance up at his face, the crooked smile splitting it is enough to make me want to lash out.

“Fuck off, asshole,” I spit.

He chuckles, “It’s nice to see you’re as charming as ever,” his head tilts to the side as he regards Kate. “Are you not going to say hello, Katy? It’s been so long since we could catch up.”

Katy.
Fucker. No one calls her that anymore. I pull at her and finally manage to get her to leave the store. I drag out to the sidewalk with me. She halts her steps when she hears him calling after her. I curse, already feeling the small grasp I have on my mind inching away. This whole thing is putting all my sanity to test, and it hasn’t been great lately. I pull my cell out, hating that I’m not going to be able to help her like she helps me. I shoot a quick text to both Joe and Callum to come and pick her up. When her tormentor approaches us again I do the only thing I know will help her. I take the attention away, just like I did in school. I push at him and put myself between them both. I lock my eyes with Kate and send her a silent message to leave. She starts to shake her head, but I harden my stare. She knows this is the right thing to do.

“Lydia, please,” she says, her voice barely audible.

“I got this. I got you. Go.”

I take a deep breath and turn to face Officer Stanton. He sneers down at me and I fight every urge in my body to run. I can hear Kitty’s feet shuffling behind me and my cell chiming from inside my pocket. I focus all my attention on the man in front of me.

“Excuse me, Miss Baker, but I’m trying to have a conversation with an old friend.”

I glare at him, “She isn’t your friend, and she never was.”

The smug smile on his face drops momentarily and I know it’s because Kate has walked away. Oh thank fuck for that. She doesn’t need to witness this.

“I’m an officer of the law, little girl.”

I snort. “You’re a perverted piece of shit, Stanton. We both know that.”

“You know, you won’t come between us forever,” he leans in close to me, his sweaty breath blowing all over my face. “What is it, Lydia? Want me all to yourself, huh?”

I hold back my cringe. I need to do this so he stays away from Kate. I need his attention on me, even if it makes me want to scrape off my own skin.

“Not if my life depended on it. You disgust me.”

His eyes turn hard, practically slits as he burns holes through me. Officer Stanton has an issue with rejection, it’s why my best friend spent her sophomore year hiding from everyone, myself included. I practically hit the roof when I found out why. This asshole had been terrorizing her for months. The memories have my anger rising again, and the medication I’d taken earlier does nothing to calm in. The pill bottle in my purse all but screams at me but I’m not exactly in a position to fix myself right now. I hate it, but there’s nothing I can do to stop this. I can feel myself teetering over the edge of reality, free falling into the abyss of my illness and all I can do is feel it.

I don’t really register what I’ve done until the handcuffs are being tightened around my wrist. People in town watch on as I’m shoved into the back of Stanton’s black and white. He climbs into the front seat and smiles at me though the rear view mirror. He wipes away the blood that has dripped from his nose and starts the engine. Despite the situation I can’t help but smile at knowing I made the fucker bleed when I hit him.

“You won’t be smiling for long, little girl. Assaulting a police officer is a serious offence.”

I laugh at his words, but don’t respond. His charges don’t mean shit when you’re as insane as me. I have mental illness on my side.
Hurray.
I let my head fall back against the seat and close my eyes. I really am so fucking tired.