Beyond 4/20 (13 page)

Tuck walked toward the fence when he saw John’s Suburban drawing nearer. His heart sank. Chelsea had called a while ago to let him know everything would work out. She didn’t know the details, just that it was over and Lucy would never have to go with Lindsey. He knew it couldn’t possibly be that easy. John knew more and was afraid to tell Chelsea, fearing upsetting her.

John joined Tuck on the other side of the fence. They both leaned their arms against the railing looking anywhere but at each other. John began, “I guess Chelsea called?”

“She did.”

Tuck could feel his heart beating clear up into his throat.

“Good news, huh?”

John expected a greater look of relief on Tuck’s face, but he was clearly still tense.

“Is it good news?”

“She signed away her legal rights. I can’t imagine it going any better.”

Flabbergasted, Tuck asked, “She did what?”

John realized he must not have told Chelsea that specifically. He had only assured her that Lindsey would never be a problem again.

“She did. You’ll never have to worry about this coming up again.”

Tuck exhaled loudly, hardly able to believe what he was hearing. Since Lindsey left all those years ago, this had been his worst nightmare, that she would try to take Lucy from him. If only out of spite, he thought she might someday. Now, to think he would never have that hanging over his head again, he felt freer than he had ever felt.

Curious, he asked, “How’d you get her to agree to that?”

Arching his eyebrows, John said, “Let’s just say I knew how to speak her language.”

He meant money but didn’t want to say so specifically. If there were ever charges filed for bribery or whatever he had done, he didn’t want Tuck involved.

“You gonna tell me the details?”

“Probably best that I don’t.”

Tuck turned away. For a minute, he simply prayed. He had never been more thankful to anyone for any reason. John, the man who married the love of his life, was the one man he owed absolutely everything to.

Finally, turning back to John, he admitted, “I can never repay you for what you’ve done.”

John chuckled. “Repay me? Hardly. If anything, I still owe you. If it weren’t for you, I would have nothing.”

As often as he was insanely jealous over Tuck, he was just as often thankful for him and the selfless way in which he loved Chelsea.

“Maybe we can call it even.”

John shook his head. “Never.”

There was a moment of awkward silence. John wanted to go into the next subject but feared Tuck would think he would be expected to agree simply because of what John had just done about Lindsey. That wasn’t true at all. John just knew that a moment alone with Tuck would not be likely again anytime soon.

Sensing John had something more to say, Tuck asked, “Is there something else?”

“I was thinking about this on the way out here. I hesitate to even bring it up because I don’t want you to think I expect you to agree because of what happened today, but I also know we won’t likely have the chance to talk again alone.”

“What is it?”

“You probably don’t realize this, but Chelsea lives in constant fear of hurting your feelings, or even worse, of making you angry enough that you would keep Lucy from us.”

“What? That’s crazy. I would never do that to Lucy.”

“I know that. I’ve never doubted it.”

“She should know me better than that.”

John could see the hurt expression on Tuck’s face that Chelsea would think so little of him.

“She does. What I think it really is? She’s insecure because she knows she has no rights to Lucy, and she has this fear of losing her and not being able to do anything about it. Honestly, I understand how she feels. I never knew loving a kid could make a person feel so vulnerable.”

Tuck smiled at the fact that Lucy made John feel vulnerable. If anyone could relate, Tuck could. From the very moment he laid eyes on that little baby girl, he had felt that feeling. He feared for her safety, for her future, for her health. The list went on and on.

He smiled reassuringly at John. “I’ll talk to her.”

“What if you could give her some level of security?”

“I would be willing.”

“I don’t even know if it’s possible, but what if Chelsea adopted Lucy and became her mother legally? Though custody wouldn’t change, Lucy would still be with you, at least you would settle any legal issues in case anything ever happened to you. Lucy would go to Chelsea.”

Tuck studied on that and didn’t see a down side. If anything, it would finally give Lucy the one thing he could never give her before, a mother.

“This is a big deal. I certainly don’t expect you to answer me today. You can think it over and get back to me. Until then, I won’t mention anything to Chelsea.”

John turned to go.

“I don’t have to think about it. I’m in.”

He smiled back at Tuck. “Good. I think you ought to be the one to tell her.”

The following afternoon, Tuck stood knocking on Chelsea’s door. He was excited and a bit nervous too. When John answered, Tuck shrugged and said, “I’m going to ask her.”

Extending his hand, John smiled, assuring him, “You’re doing the right thing.”

As Tuck entered, John said he would go get Lucy at school.

When Tuck walked into the living room, Chelsea was sitting on the sofa looking as if she had just woken. He was sure to sit apart from her. Once he told her why he had come, she was sure to reach out to hug him. It was better that she didn’t since her touch made him feel things he shouldn’t.

“What has you in town so early?”

Chelsea hadn’t seen Tuck since John had returned from Tulsa, but even at the first sight of him, she thought he seemed at peace. It was hard to believe he had carried the burden of the custody issue by himself all that time. For all of their sakes, she was thankful it was over.

“I wanted to ask you something, something pretty important.”

“Okay, ask away.”

“Now that Lindsey is out of the picture for good, what would you think about adopting Lucy? We can check into it anyway.”

At the suggestion she began to cry so hard that Tuck jumped from his seat and went to her, kneeling before her.

“Hey,” he whispered softly. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Chelsea couldn’t speak. All she could do was cry like an absolute baby. Reaching for Tuck’s hand, holding it firmly, she could only nod in response.

It was everything he could do not to cry, and more than anything, he wanted to hold her, but she was John’s now, so he sat very still, willing his arms to remain at his side.

When she pulled herself together enough to speak, her only words were, “I don’t deserve a second chance, but thank you.” At that she leaned into him and circled her arms around his neck.

Tuck sighed heavily, praying once again to let her go and praying too that the moment could last a lifetime. All along, this was how it was supposed to be, her with him. As right as it felt, though, as much as it was a tiny glimpse at what should have been, her in his arms, pregnant and emotional, she was no longer his, no matter how much he longed for her to be.

After a few seconds, he withdrew from her, assuring her, “You do deserve this. You’re a wonderful mother to her already.”

Chapter 7

C
helsea was sleeping. John sat on the sofa with Lucy while she read to him. Reading came easily for her, just as math and most things did. He could hardly believe how bright she was. Because she was so naturally intelligent, John feared the next child would have difficult footsteps to follow. Lucy was accomplished at everything. She was still playing piano, and rather excellently, Chelsea bragged. Recently, she was becoming brave enough to sing for them. Her voice was beautiful, soft and smooth, similar to Chelsea’s. Chelsea beamed when they sat together at the piano every afternoon and Lucy played her pieces with such precision.

Already the adoption was underway, but Lucy hadn’t been told. Because their request was such an unconventional one, they decided it would be best for the judge to make a final ruling prior to telling her. John could hardly wait. When he came home with Lucy the afternoon that Tuck asked Chelsea to adopt her, he found a bawling, snotty mess, and since then, over the weeks, she would burst into tears over it again and again. Though she never said so, he understood what she was feeling. It was her second chance at being Lucy’s mom. Since the day she admitted the guilt she had carried over her choice to stay in L.A., they had never discussed it again, but John believed that Chelsea’s constant insecurity over the place she held in Lucy’s life was what she believed to be the price she was paying for her disobedience. He wanted to help her get beyond that and figured the adoption would do just that.

When he had entered Dean Kennedy’s office to begin the adoption proceedings, Dean smiled and held his hand out. When John shook it, Dean quipped, “What, no check?”

From there, John gave Dean the background on the situation. Having never been a party to any other similar proceeding, Dean wasn’t exactly sure what the final outcome would be, but he had every belief that it would work out, especially with the father on board. Since then, they had all been waiting.

Chelsea stood in the doorway watching John and Lucy all snuggled in together. If there was one thing she could be certain of, it was that John would be an amazing and caring father. His way with Lucy was living proof. As much as he had cared for her in the beginning, now he was so completely in love with her that Chelsea often wondered how another child could possibly fit into their little makeshift family, but there was room.

For the past hour while resting, she had been having contractions. It wasn’t the milder ones from the past weeks; rather, these were feeling like the real deal to her. She had waited for as long as she could, just to make sure it was true labor pains she was experiencing. Finally, when she felt a tiny dribble run down her leg, she had to believe it was her water leaking. She had always imagined some major gush of water, but this was just a small amount, and still it continued. Before coming downstairs, she had gotten her things together, including fresh clothes for John and his toiletries.

“I think we’re going to have a baby today.”

John turned around, and for a moment he just stared at Chelsea. She was smiling, so he wasn’t exactly sure if she was kidding.

He was grinning at her, but it was Lucy’s bugged-eyed expression that made her laugh. “Really, I think this is it.”

John and Lucy scrambled off the sofa, and before long they were all in route to the hospital. As they drove along, John began making phone calls. He called his and her parents. He called Mark and Irene, then Tuck. Once he hung up with Irene, he went blank. “Who else do I call?”

As mild as things were to begin with, quickly Chelsea’s contractions came more frequently the closer they got to the hospital. Since they were also increasing in intensity, they were no doubt the
real deal
. She was in terrible pain. When packing her bag to go, she feared she would be told it was another false alarm and that she would be sent home. That had happened the week before.

Those last weeks had dragged slowly by. She was getting bigger and bigger with every tick of the clock, making her feel like an absolute whale. As well as she did with her weight early on, the last trimester was a different story entirely. She wondered how she would ever get such a tremendous amount of weight off.

Again, a pain struck. “Oh!” She doubled over and grabbed for John’s hand.

John glanced at Lucy in the rearview mirror. Her eyes were like saucers and she was as pale as a ghost. Catching a glimpse of his own reflection, he realized he looked the same. He could hardly remember a moment in his life when he was more scared or excited. Because he knew that his little baby would soon be in his arms, he was thrilled beyond anything he had ever known, but the pain Chelsea was experiencing was killing him, beyond what he imagined when anticipating this moment. He felt completely helpless since all he could do was drive and pray.

The closer her due date came, the more her symptoms of preeclampsia leveled off. Though she still experienced mild headaches and dizziness, more often than not, she was feeling pretty well. Recently, her biggest complaint was the swelling and weight gain and that her face was so chubby that she hardly looked like herself. To John, she was the most beautiful woman in the world no matter what she thought. His life with Chelsea and Lucy was one so perfect that he could hardly remember the life he knew before them. As much as he was still needed at KI, he had turned over most all of his responsibilities to Mark, and he didn’t care. All that mattered in the world was right there in the car with him.

Soon enough, Chelsea was settled into her room and John and Lucy waited with her. The nurses went about the business of getting her prepared for the birth. Once, John looked at Chelsea and then glanced at Lucy and the door, as if to ask if he should take her out of the room.

“Lucy, are you okay? Is this scaring you?”

She was not quite eight years old, and Chelsea had to imagine this was frightening for her. Because she often cried out when a contraction came, she feared Lucy was upset.

Lucy moved to the bed and took Chelsea’s hand. “Maybe a little.”

She thought for a moment and then assured Chelsea, “I think I’ll get a baby from China like the Reynolds did.”

Another contraction came while Chelsea was laughing. Groaning loudly, she looked up at John, who was trying hard not to laugh. When the contraction subsided, she assured Lucy, “New baby will be worth it. You’ll see.”

Hours later, Chelsea had still not had the baby. By this point, the doctor was becoming concerned about the distress she and the baby were both facing. Her blood pressure was steadily climbing, and she was growing weaker. At the moment, John was lying in bed with her since they were alone in the room for the first time all afternoon. Her parents had taken Lucy to the waiting room. When it appeared as if it would be a normal birth, they had planned to allow Lucy to stay, but by this point, things were too up in the air to risk Lucy being present.

“I’m so sorry,” John whispered.

It was looking as if she would have the baby by caesarian section, something the doctor strongly recommended. All along Chelsea had planned to deliver naturally, so this news had greatly upset her. He held her close to him and rubbed her belly. At least she had finally agreed to an epidural. Prior to that, with each and every contraction, he felt as if he would die. There was nothing that had ever hurt him as much as seeing her in pain yet not being able to do anything about it.

“I want to wait a little longer.”

When the doctor came in last, he said he was giving her another half-hour. After that, they would begin prepping her for surgery.

Fully intending to follow the doctor’s recommendations, John insisted, “We’ll do what they say.”

His first inclination when the day took such an unexpected turn was to begin to call in every top obstetrician in the state of Oklahoma. It was really his plan. Chelsea stopped him before he even finished dialing Irene, saying she trusted her doctor.

“Chelsea,” he reminder her firmly, “you said you trust him, and he said half an hour.” John held his wrist so that Chelsea could see his watch. “That was twenty-eight minutes ago, so we’ll have the caesarian.” Kissing her cheek, he added, “Whatever keeps you safest.”

He glanced at her monitor and watched her blood pressure steadily increasing still. Just then, Gail came back in, so John whispered, “I think you should get the nurse.”

While they waited, Gail tried to reassure Lucy. Twice Lucy had cried. When Tuck arrived, though, she seemed to believe him when he assured her that Chelsea would be okay. At the moment, she was sitting in his lap, leaning on his chest, very quiet for Lucy. Once when Lucy looked at her, Gail smiled reassuringly. Lucy hardly smiled. She was afraid Chelsea would die. They all were. By the time they took her to the operating room, things were looking pretty grave. It was a sudden shift when her blood pressure shot up and she had a mild seizure.

Gail could hardly get the sight of Chelsea and John out of her mind. Just before the seizure, while she was still in the room, John lay there with Chelsea in the bed. He was crying softly. By that point, Chelsea could hardly stay awake she was so exhausted and weak. Over and over he would trail light kisses along her cheek, whispering how much he loved her. The memory of it caused Gail to cry. What if they lost her? What if she didn’t make it through this?

Still wearing scrubs, John was beaming as he moved closer to the waiting area. Having just experienced the most miraculous event of his life, he could hardly see his surroundings. His mind was still filled with images of the birth of his child. When he moved through the doorway, he found her family there, waiting and worried. He had good news, though.

“It’s a girl, and she’s fat and healthy.”

Overcome with emotion at the sound of his own words, he broke down crying again. “Chelsea’s fine. She’s fine.”

Gail shouted, “Thank God!” and hugged Bob, who sighed heavily as he held his wife.

Lucy scrambled out of her daddy’s lap and ran toward John. Wrapping her arms around his legs, she cried quietly.

John squatted down and held her. “Your mom’s fine. I promise you,” he whispered in her ear.

Lucy only nodded.

When John glanced up at Tuck, he could see that he was crying too.

Without saying a word, Tuck walked over and patted John on the shoulder and then left the waiting area.

John silently prayed for him.

After they were home from the hospital for only two days, life was finally settling into a new rhythm. Being parents of a newborn was the best and most difficult thing either had ever done. They both worried over every little noise she made. She never cried more than three seconds before one or the other was holding her. They named her Sara Elizabeth after Chelsea’s grandmother, Sara Beth. She had this full head of dark hair, just like John’s, and she was the most beautiful, fat baby they had ever seen. She was perfect and healthy and made their family nearly complete.

Lucy was a wonderful big sister. She held Sara Beth just the right way, supporting her head as she was supposed to. When Lucy was with them, their family truly was complete. Since it was still summer break, she stayed with them every weekday. Tuck would drop her off early and then pick her up in the afternoon. Only once had he come in to see the baby, and that, John was certain, was just to settle Lucy’s pleading for him to. While he was there, John watched him as he held Sara Beth. He was very gentle with her and he whispered soft words to her and kissed her cheek. It was very sweet and very sad, too. John could only admire a man who loved a woman so faithfully for so many years.

They were still waiting on word from the adoption but so far had heard nothing conclusive. John and Chelsea were anxious to share the news with Lucy. For whatever reason, when it was official and Lucy was theirs too, they both knew their family would truly be complete, at least complete for the time being. Already John was talking about more children, but after the experience Chelsea had giving birth, he agreed with Lucy that they should adopt from China or wherever, just as long as Chelsea wasn’t put in danger as she was with Sara B.

Sara B. was what Lucy had begun calling her based on a character in a children’s novel. It stuck. Before long, all of the family called her that except Chelsea’s dad. He called her Moon Pie. It was his tribute to Chelsea, though only she got it. His sense of humor was what Chelsea loved best about her dad, kind of off-beat and often bizarre.

Chelsea’s most treasured memories of their early days at home were those of John with Sara Beth. He was the most gentle, tender father. Often, she would find him steadily rocking her while he cried quietly. Sara Beth affected John at some level that Chelsea was pretty certain John had never experienced before. His love for his daughter was something new and transformational. What little interest he had in work prior to her birth was completely ousted. Weeks began to fly by and John found less and less desire to work at all. Mostly, he spent his days with his two little girls, and Chelsea found she loved him even more than when they married. That hardly seemed possible, but it was true. Seeing John become this amazing father was the most gratifying experience of Chelsea’s life. Not so long before he thought he was destined to die childless. He admitted on more than one occasion that he had eventually accepted it, but with the arrival of Lucy and Sara Beth into his life, she had given him the only thing that mattered anymore, a family.

When fall arrived, Chelsea and Tuck received word that they were to meet with a judge on the adoption. John and Chelsea met Tuck at the courthouse one day while Lucy was in school. They were all three extremely excited about sharing the news with Lucy. Dean assured them the meeting was a mere formality. The judge had already approved the adoption.

John took Sara Beth from Chelsea’s arms and sat on a bench out in the main hallway and watched as Tuck and Chelsea stepped onto an elevator together. Tuck appeared just as eager as Chelsea did that day. Often John considered Tuck’s willingness to allow Chelsea to adopt Lucy. Certainly his main motive was always what was best for Lucy, but deep down, John suspected that Tuck’s desire was to remain connected to Chelsea. Once she became Lucy’s mother in a legal sense, that would solidify their connection for life. Nothing could break that bond, and Tuck knew it.