Beyond 4/20 (10 page)

“Lucy said that Chelsea was kind of her mom, and I said Chelsea felt the same, which led to Lucy asking if that would change when the baby came along.”

“Uh huh?”

“I was just trying to make her feel as if she belongs.” John ran his hand through his hair. “I know this is odd, but to us, she does belong. I imagine that’s probably pretty uncomfortable for you, but that’s how we feel.”

Of course it made him feel uncomfortable. His daughter was playing house with this man and the woman he loved.

“So what did you say?”

“I told her she would be a big sister. I thought it was okay, but now Chelsea’s worried that it might upset you, and I just can’t have her worried or upset right now. Not about anything.”

Tuck sighed, relieved that it was something so simple. In that moment, he wished he could go back to such simple concerns as his jealousy over John with Chelsea and Lucy. Developments in his life had taken him way beyond that.

“Oh, is that all? That’s no big deal. I think she’ll get a kick out of that.”

“She did.”

John surveyed Tuck’s expression as much as he dared without staring. He was different somehow, distracted maybe.

“If she’s ready, you can send her on out.”

“I’ll do that.”

Heading back up the sidewalk, John was glad that went as well as it did. He meant what he said, he wouldn’t allow anything to upset Chelsea and risk raising her blood pressure.

When Tuck slid back into his truck seat, he looked at the folded papers stashed above his visor. The sight of them was a reminder that he would eventually have to break the bad news to Chelsea. With her health being what it was, he had put it off too long already.

He turned quickly to see if he could catch John before he made it into the house. “John,” he called out.

Grabbing the papers, he jogged to where John was standing at the bottom of the porch steps.

“I’ve been putting this off, but Chelsea will have to know eventually. I really don’t know what to do about telling her.” He handed the papers to John. “You can help me decide.”

John scanned the document, hardly believing what he was seeing. Lindsey, Lucy’s mom, was filing for permanent custody.

“This is ridiculous. She hasn’t been around. How can she hope to get custody?”

Tuck rubbed the back of his neck, trying to rub out some of the tension that had him tied up in knots. That was his exact first question to his attorney.

“I’m afraid it’s possible.”

Tuck had been dealing with the possibility for several months. His attorney thought they had a pretty good case but could give no real guarantee. If not permanent custody, Lindsay could get partial custody, which would have Lucy bouncing back and forth between home and Tulsa.

John’s hands trembled as he held the papers, fully understanding the implications. More than what it would mean for him to lose Lucy, he was terrified of what it would do to Chelsea.

He mumbled, “This’ll kill her.”

Tuck knew John meant Chelsea. “It’ll kill Lucy, too.”

Of course it would. How could he not think of that first?

“Has she even seen her mom? She can’t be expected to go with some stranger.”

“It’s less likely that Lindsey will get full custody, but Lucy may have to live with her part time.”

“And that’s what your attorney says?”

John’s immediate thought was to call in a team of the best attorneys in the state of Oklahoma and slaughter Lindsey.

“He says it could go either way.”

Tuck looked away. Over the past few days, he had been tempted to ask for help, but he feared upsetting Chelsea. He would sell the farm tomorrow to raise money if he thought it would sell. There were farms all over the county that had been for sale for months, some even years. Nothing was moving. He had considered selling off farm equipment, but of course that would cripple the farm. His only option was to take out an equity line of credit against the farm. If it came to a real fight for Lucy, he would do that.

John stood there staring at Tuck, waiting for something, some indication that Tuck might allow him to step in and help. After an awkward moment, John finally said, “Just say the word.”

No amount of pride would ever stand in the way of doing what was best for Lucy. Tuck sighed heavily, and feeling a sense of hope for the first time, he said, “Do something.”

“Consider it done.”

John turned with the intention of sending Lucy out to her dad. He had calls to make, a team to assemble.

As he watched John walk up the stairs, his attitude one of strong purpose, Tuck said, “Tell Chelsea I’m praying for her.”

John stopped, turned, and said, “Come in and tell her yourself.” He smiled at Tuck, trying to make him feel welcome.

Tuck followed him up the stairs and when they got near the door, John turned to him, saying, “I can’t keep this from her, but I’ll wait until Lucy is gone and tell her later tonight.”

“Lucy doesn’t know.”

“She’ll never have to.”

John was already determined to do whatever it took to prevent things from going any further than the petition in his hand.

Chelsea was surprised to see Tuck come in and even more surprised when he took a seat near her. Clearly he wasn’t upset about Lucy as big sister.

She smiled, saying, “Hey. How are you?”

“I’m doing all right. I think I should be asking how you are.”

Before sitting down Tuck was tempted to hug Chelsea. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to do, but he didn’t. Since she had been married to John, he had embraced her too many times already. It wasn’t right, since he knew what was still in his heart for her, so he had committed to the Lord to never do it again. After that night with Allison, over the course of the summer, he had felt convicted about much more than his treatment of her and his sin against God. Eventually, the fact that he had envisioned Chelsea as he lay in the darkness with Allison became something the Lord dealt with him severely about. Tuck had to acknowledge how he had disrespected both Chelsea and John by doing that, even though they weren’t married yet. Still, they were engaged, committed to one another. He acknowledged how wrong he was for allowing his imagination to conjure up her image, and his cheeks burned at the thought of it.

“I’m fine right now. The worst part is the headaches. I had one earlier.”

It was good to see Tuck. She had missed him so much and thought about him each and every day. Sometimes it was something Lucy said and other times it was just that his image danced through her mind, but always she thought of him and prayed for him. Since the holidays they had seen little of him, other than a distant wave from the truck window.

“Well, you look great.”

She did. Since knowing she was struggling in her pregnancy, Tuck had anticipated her to look more sickly. Instead, she was simply glowing with new life. Her belly was this perfectly round little basketball shape and her cheeks were fuller than usual. She looked better than
great
; she was
the
most beautiful he had ever seen her, but he would never say something like that to her. Glancing over at John, he envied him more than he ever had and his heart burned with longing. What must it be like to have a wife you love, one so kind and beautiful, and to be able to reach over and touch that sweet mound of her stomach? That was what Tuck had to keep himself from doing, touching where her baby was cradled within her.

John forced himself to sit through the pleasantries but was eager to get to his office. Finally, when Chelsea asked Tuck about the details of his mission trip to the Appalachians, he excused himself, saying he needed to send an email to Irene.

For a time more, Tuck and Chelsea talked, and thankfully, it felt comfortable to both. Lucy sat in her daddy’s lap with her arms draped around his neck, listening to the same stories he had told her when he returned home a few weeks before. She had stayed with Chelsea and John for the two nights he was away. With the three of them together, sitting there on the sofa, it felt like old times, times prior to John coming for Chelsea. All three thought it but no one dared mention it.

John returned to the living room after Tuck and Lucy had gone. He hated that he missed telling Lucy good-bye, but he was caught up in building a strategy to fight Lindsey. Besides the calls he wanted Irene to make the following day, John contacted a private investigator and got him started. No matter what it took, he would never allow Lucy to be taken away from her home, or homes rather. Lindsey had no right to try to step back in after being gone for more than six years. There was no excuse for leaving your child as she did.

“I’m sorry that I missed saying good-bye to Lucy.”

When John excused himself before, Chelsea was momentarily worried, but the way he smiled at her reassured her he really did have business to conduct and wasn’t leaving because he was upset over Tuck’s presence. In the months since she had been pregnant, John really had become comfortable with how things were. He had finally settled in to his own family, one where Tuck did have a permanent place on the perimeter.

“She’ll be back tomorrow afternoon.”

“I know, but I still hate that I didn’t get a hug.”

John moved closer to Chelsea on the sofa. “What do you want to do for dinner?”

“I’m open. What do you want?” She already knew the answer to that.

“A burger.”

Wrinkling her nose at him, she said, “Yeah, that’s not going to happen.”

When his face fell and he looked at her with pleading eyes, she offered, “How about a turkey burger?”

He leaned over feigning weakness. “Must. Have. A. Real. Burger.”

Since her earliest over-zealous diet restrictions, Chelsea had lightened up considerably. As much as she wanted him to stick around, she also wanted him happy while he was around.

“I’ve been trained by one of the nation’s best negotiators. How about this: You get a burger, but we split fries. I get a milkshake, and you get a few drinks of it.”

“Deal.”

John was hoping to enjoy one last meal before telling Chelsea the news about Lindsey. Once she knew, nothing would be okay until he could figure things out. As tempted as he was to keep it from her, he wouldn’t dare. He had always promised her honesty. She had a right to know.

After dinner, once they got home, they went out back and sat in the swing together. John had tried all night to decide how to most delicately tell Chelsea about the custody case.

“Whatever it is, you can talk to me. Remember?”

John had been, not quiet exactly, but out of sorts for most of the evening. While he tried to pretend that nothing was the matter, she knew better. His eyes were heavy, as if reflecting his heart. At first, she believed it was the fact that Tuck came in and sat with her, but that made no sense. He was very welcoming of Tuck when he first entered, almost as if the barrier between them was finally broken.

John turned in the swing to face Chelsea. “I need to know that you will trust me. When I tell you this, you have to promise that you’ll trust me to take care of it.”

Scared, now certain that it was a much bigger deal than mild jealousy, she slowly asked, “Take care of what?”

Taking her hand, he demanded, “First, say you trust me.”

“You know I trust you.”

“I have to go to Tulsa to take care of something, but before I tell you what it is, I need you to commit to remaining calm.”

“I’m getting upset because you won’t tell me!”

Her heart was pounding, and she was feeling the first signs of a headache coming on.

“What?” she demanded.

“Lindsey has filed for custody of Lucy.”

“What?” Chelsea jumped to her feet and John jumped up with her.

He grabbed her arms and said, “Now, Chelsea, you have to calm down.”

His words were pointless. First she paced back and forth, mumbling about Lindsey; then after a few minutes of that, she burst into tears. It was then that John took her into his arms and assured her, “I
will
make this go away.”

“Promise,” she demanded.

“Baby, I promise.”

Holding her back to look at her, he reminded her, “I want you to take care of my little baby. I need
you
to take care of my wife. Do you hear me?”

Nodding, she leaned into him again. Finally, John’s and Tuck’s attitudes when they walked into the house together made a little more sense. They appeared to be at peace. The one thing that could bring them together as allies was Lucy. Chelsea sighed. She did trust John. She had seen him in action too many times not to. He was shrewd in business, and she was certain, as much as this was personal to him, he would attack this problem as if it were billion-dollar merger.

John woke in the middle of the night experiencing another anxiety attack. Quietly, he got of bed and went downstairs. While he didn’t feel anything more than heart palpitations, it was still very uncomfortable. As he walked down the stairs, he felt a little dizzy. Other than that, he was slowly getting back to normal. Lucy was so heavily on his mind when he went to sleep, no wonder he woke in such a state. Over the past year, she had been such a precious part of his life that he didn’t want to imagine what losing her would be like, especially for Chelsea.

As Tuck said, Lindsey getting full custody was unlikely, but even partial or shared custody would take Lucy from Chelsea and him. If Tuck could only have Lucy part time, there was no way he would divide that limited time with them. No matter what it took, John was determined to prevent that from happening. Each and every time he thought of Lindsey and her audacity in even filing such a petition, he burned with anger toward her. What kind of woman must she be to have done what she had done?

He was wide awake and knew he couldn’t possibly get back to sleep, so he went into the study and sat in Chelsea’s overstuffed chair. It was where she sat each morning to read her Bible. Flipping to the Psalms, John began to read, trying to alleviate his anger somehow. Again, he considered Lindsey and how she walked out on Tuck and Lucy. The same question came to mind. What kind of woman must she be? It was then he heard a gentle voice inside that said, “One who needs mercy.”