Beyond 4/20 (40 page)

Resting her head on his shoulder, she sighed, saying, “That’s another reason I love you.”

“’Cause I’m smart?” He smiled.

“Yeah, pretty smart.”

This moment was one of the best of her life. There was this tremendous sense of peace she felt that was beyond anything she could have ever explained to a living soul. As near as she could figure, it was the peace that came from being wholly surrendered to God. From the moment she agreed to marry Tuck, she knew she was supposed to let go of John, but deep down, that was something she wasn’t fully willing to do. Because of that, she hurt her husband deeply, most likely more than she could have ever understood. Still, Tuck loved her, even knowing she wasn’t fully his. Somehow, she had convinced herself that holding onto her past while still trying to embrace the present with Tuck was manageable, but it wasn’t. Holding onto John left her unable to fully wrap her heart around Tuck and unable to keep her promise to John that she would allow herself to love again. Just as Tuck accused her once, she held half of herself in reserve for John. That was never fair.

As Tuck had said, bringing Sara Beth’s father into their family was a different matter entirely, but to bring her late husband into their marriage was unthinkable. At the time, it seemed impossible to separate the two. After the past year of consideration, though, she realized it actually came down to a matter of her will. She wasn’t willing to let go of John out of fear it might somehow diminish what they had shared. What they had together was real and meaningful and beautiful. Never would she say any less. Ultimately, though, as much as she thought life began on 4/19, she discovered that it was everything beyond 4/20 that led her back into God’s will, back into Tuck’s arms. Living out her
supposed to be
, the life God had ordained for her since before time began, was greater by far than living in the midst of a plot twist that kept her from it.

She recalled John’s final words to her in his journal, how being obedient to what you know at the time takes you to the next place of revelation. Finally, over the past year, she had been obedient in letting go of him. Intentionally, as a matter of her will, she closed the door entirely on them. It wasn’t something tucked away in a closet, something that could cause her to stumble backwards into him; their story was complete, and truly, they had a beautiful ending. Once she closed that door, the stunning revelation was that she was immersed, submerged, and drowning in love for her husband. She was unbound from one and bound again, just as she needed to be. Chelsea sighed, so content to be sitting in her husband’s arms, on their porch, living out their dream.

There, sitting on the top step, she was just a few feet away from the shovel that first broke ground for their home. From that time, other than being moved for excavation equipment, the shovel remained in place and was now part of the front flower bed. At Sara Beth’s suggestion, Tuck had painted the handle to look like a ladybug. Oftentimes, Tuck would hang a hat on it when he came in from mowing, or Chelsea would put her garden hat on it when she went inside. Always, it served as a reminder to both of them that love was worth waiting for and that God had always known they would take this twisting and turning journey back to one another.

“I love you more,” she softly admitted.

Chuckling, Tuck asked, “More than cookies?”

That was Sara Beth’s new expression of love. She would say she loved him more than cookies, which was a pretty big deal considering her love for sweets, her mother’s daughter for sure.

Chelsea nodded only slightly then rested her forehead on his and gazed intently into his eyes as she said, “More than anything. More than anyone. Ever.”

A lump formed in his throat as her true meaning washed over him. She loved him more than John was what she was trying to express.

“I’ve been waiting for that.”

Since their trip to France, he never doubted she would someday; he had made it his life’s mission to win her back. With the pressure of the farm and the new house off of his shoulders, he felt different, more energized, because of that, he had the time to pursue her relentlessly. Finally, he had really won.

“I am so in love with you,” he said without fear of her expressing some lesser degree of love.

“And I am so in love with you.”

He looked into those big brown eyes, the ones he had always insisted she keep open. Certain it was finally safe, he whispered, “You can close your eyes now.” And he kissed her.

Look for other titles by Lisa.

Unmending the Veil and On 4/19

Watch for Deceiver, available in 2015

About the Author

L
isa was born and raised in Nashville, TN and still lives nearby with her husband, Kelly, and their teenage son, Zack. She has one older son, Adam, currently living in Columbia, SC.

As an author and speaker, her sole passion is to lead believers into a closer relationship with Jesus. Too many in the church settle for less than what Jesus died to attain for them, so through her discipleship teaching and writing, she explains the simplicity of the Christian life: Begin with falling in love with Jesus, and everything else will fall into place. Describing herself as a former “hot-mess,” Lisa knows firsthand the powerful effect Christ can have on a life.

Lisa has written ministry material for new believers used by Lifeway, the Tennessee Women’s Prison Ministry, and daily devotional material for children. Available at her website online, you can download a free copy of the companion study material for Unmending the Veil.

Visit her at
lisaheatonbooks.com
.

Connect with Lisa at
www.facebook.com/lisaheatonbooks