Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (12 page)

‘Ready for round two?’ she asked as I approached.

‘As I’ll ever be,’ I said. ‘What’s on the agenda for today?’

‘Today we’re bringing things to us,’ she said. She shivered. ‘It’s freezing out here.’

‘I know,’ I said. ‘Why did you want to meet here anyway?’

Harry grinned.

‘We need some other people,’ she said. I felt nervous suddenly. I wasn’t sure about involving strangers in my magic.

‘But first,’ Harry said, ‘I need my hat.’

‘Where is it?’ I looked round.

‘It’s on the coat hook in the hall,’ she said. ‘Get it for me.’

‘Get it yourself, you lazy cow,’ I said.

Harry put her head in her hands.

‘I despair,’ she said, her voice muffled. ‘There is no hope.’

Realisation dawned on me.

‘Oh, you mean get it with magic?’ I said.

Harry laughed.

‘Yes please,’ she said. ‘Go on.’

I had no idea where to begin.

‘It’s on the coat hook,’ Harry said again. ‘Picture it, but in the witchy bit of your head.’

I knew what she meant, oddly enough. Like I’d done with the book, I reached out with my mind and felt her hat. I could feel the soft wool in my mind’s fingers and then suddenly I could feel it in my actual fingers – and there it was.

‘Excellent!’ Harry said. She looked very pleased with herself. ‘I knew you could do it.’

She had been right when she said that was just the beginning though. We spent the afternoon taking stuff from passers-by and returning it before they’d noticed. Hats, scarves, a ball, a handbag and once a skateboard belonging to Millicent Fry’s beautiful teenaged son. He went sprawling on to the pavement along the shore of the loch, the skateboard appeared – for a second next to Harry and me – and then reappeared next to the teenager’s feet. Harry laughed and laughed and I was strangely pleased that I’d made her happy.

Then Jamie walked past. If he saw Harry and me sitting on the beach he made no sign of it.

‘Ooh,’ said Harry. ‘Let’s get his bag.’

I looked at her.

‘His black bag?’ I said. ‘His
doctor’s
bag? The one that’s no doubt full of the important medicine he’s been using to look after your mum?’

Harry looked a bit ashamed for almost the first time ever.

‘Oh is that the GP?’ she said. ‘I suppose we should leave him alone.’

I let myself relax, pleased she hadn’t cottoned on to the history between Jamie and me.

‘Hang on,’ she said. Bugger. ‘Isn’t he your ex? The one who caused all that drama?’

‘No,’ I said.

She looked at me.

‘Yes,’ I admitted.

I could feel her poking about in my mind, trying to get hold of how I was feeling. Irritated and desperate not to let her hear my thoughts, I shut her out.

‘Oi, stop it,’ I said, pulling down the virtual shutters in my memories. ‘Get out of my head.’

‘Well done,’ she said, more pleased with my witchcraft than annoyed that I was spoiling
her fun. But I could feel her eyes on me as I watched Jamie saunter past us and up towards town.

‘I’ve always felt a bit guilty about that,’ she said, digging her toes into the dirty sand. The concept of Harry feeling guilty about anything was alien to me, so I turned to stare at her. She looked back at me, a small frown on her usually smooth forehead.

‘About how I treated you when you came to see me,’ she went on. ‘I don’t think I was as nice as I should have been.’

‘You were a cow,’ I said, remembering how crushed I’d been at her reaction.

‘I was,’ she admitted. ‘Shall we head back now?’ And that was as close to an apology as I was ever going to get from Harry.

Chapter 22

All week we worked on my magic – sometimes in Allan’s studio and sometimes on the beach. I was exhausted, sleeping deeply and late into the morning on the days I didn’t go with Suky to hospital. We covered charms, enchantments, cleansing rituals, spells to find things that were lost – just about everything in fact.

Eventually, five days after my intensive magic course had begun, Harry announced it was time for me to lead the enchanting of some of the cakes in the café. I was remarkably keen. I wanted Mum to see how far I’d come in just a few days, and I also wanted her to see I’d done it without her help.

‘What do you need?’ Harry asked, leaning over the counter and examining the cakes that were on display.

‘We could do with some more of the creativity buns,’ Mum said. They were one of the café’s bestsellers – popular with the writers and artists who flocked to Claddach and found, mysteriously, that they produced their best work after a break for a cup of tea and a cake.

I was sitting on one of the tables. The café was empty and it was nearly closing time. Now I slid off on to me feet.

‘Come on then,’ I said. ‘Let’s get it over with.’

We gathered together and Mum produced a large bowl filled with the bun batter. She and Harry looked at me and I took a deep breath.

‘I don’t know what to say,’ I said as I took their hands and they also clasped fingers.

‘You do,’ Harry said. ‘Feel it.’

I closed my eyes and concentrated. Before I knew it my lips were moving and I was whispering words I didn’t know I knew. I opened my eyes and watched pink sparks hover in the air, then fall into the batter mix.

Mum beamed at me.

‘You did it,’ she said. I beamed back, then remembered where I was and what I was doing.

‘Well, don’t get used to it,’ I said. ‘Now Harry’s back and Suky’s treatment is nearly over, I’m going to have to get back to London.’

Mum looked sad, and I felt slightly guilty.

‘I’m not going yet,’ I said hurriedly. ‘Make use of me while you can. I’ll close up. You two get up the road to see how Suky’s doing.’

‘Not so fast, McLeod,’ Harry said. I made a face. I knew what was coming. She’d been giving me homework every evening to work on by myself. I thought she might have forgotten today’s but no chance.

‘One of the most powerful spells a witch can do concerns transfiguration,’ she said, her voice dripping with drama. ‘The art of turning something into something else.’

She felt in her pocket and pulled out a squishy rubber frog.

‘This,’ she said, ‘is a dog toy.’

‘I can see that,’ I said. ‘What are you doing with it?’

‘I want you to turn it into a real frog,’ she said. ‘Now.’

She dropped the toy frog into my hand. I squeezed it and it croaked.

‘Now?’

‘Now.’ She handed me a cake box. ‘Put it in here when you’re done and bring it up to the house.’

Mum was putting on her coat. She looked amused and impressed all at once.

‘That’s a tricky spell,’ she said. ‘Do you think she’ll do it?’

‘I’m here, Mum,’ I said. ‘How about asking me?’

She looked at me.

‘Can you do it?’

I shook my head.

‘I don’t think so.’

Harry gave me a violent nudge that I thought was meant to be affectionate.

‘Course you can,’ she said. ‘Come on, Auntie Tess, let’s leave her to it.’

‘Off you go then,’ I said as they filed out of the door. ‘I’ll just stay here, by myself, and tidy up, and clean the loo, and turn things into frogs…’

But they’d gone. Outside, the evening had turned wild. The wind was whipping across the loch and black clouds were speeding across the sky. I plonked the frog on the counter, then I waggled my fingers and made the lights come on. Harry would be pleased.

I stared at the frog for a while, then I walked to the door that led to the toilets and waggled my fingers in that direction. I was secretly quite pleased that Harry’s guidance meant I never had to clean a loo ever again. Then I cleaned the café tables the same way.

Jobs done, I lay down on one of the sofas and balanced the frog on my bent knees. I tried the first few words that came to mind, but nothing happened.

Closing my eyes, I tried reaching out with my mind. I could feel the frog’s squidgy, beany body. I focused, breathing deeply, and felt it change under my imaginary fingers from rubber to damp, slimy frog skin. Bleurgh. I tried not to let my revulsion break my concentration. I felt my actual fingers tingle as sparks began to fly from them and I knew it was beginning to work. Just a few more minutes…

And then the café door tinkled and a voice cried, ‘Hellooooo?’

Startled I leapt to my feet, sending the rubber frog flying. The sparks from my fingers twisted in mid air and shot towards the door where I was looking – towards Millicent Fry, who was standing in the doorway, a smile on her neat face.

‘Oh, Esme,’ she said. ‘I wonder if you can help me…’

She stopped as my pink sparks hit her squarely in the chest.

‘Oh,’ she said in surprise. And then she disappeared.

‘Shit, shit, shit,’ I said. I almost vaulted the back of the sofa and ran to where moments before Millicent had been standing.

‘Shit,’ I said again. At my feet was a real, live, croaking frog. Wearing a tiny tam o shanter. I’d bloody well turned Millicent Fry into a frog. And I had absolutely no idea what to do about it.

Quickly, I grabbed the cake box and tried to scoop the frog – Millicent – inside. It was harder than I’d thought it would be and for a while Millicent and I were involved in a rather undignified chase around the café. I have to say, she came out of it better than I did, as I scuttled across the floor on my hands and knees and she hopped elegantly away from me.

Eventually though, I threw myself at her with a dive a Premier League footballer would be proud of, gripped her in two hands and all but threw her into the box.

I closed the lid and held it shut.

‘Millicent,’ I whispered. ‘I don’t know if you can hear me, but I just want you to know I’m really sorry. I’m going to turn you back now.’

The frog croacked gently from inside the box.

I tried to reach out to it mentally, but nothing happened. Whatever the reason – stress, fatigue, just plain bad luck – I’d clearly exhausted my witchcraft quota for that day.

I fished my phone out of my apron pocket and rang Harry.

‘H,’ I said when she answered, using my childhood nickname for her without really noticing. ‘I’ve done something really, really silly.’

Once she’d stopped laughing, Harry was remarkably helpful. She arrived less than ten minutes later, armed with my spell book and her own, and her iPad.

‘There are some pretty good sites that might have a solution if we can’t work it out,’ she said, logging on to the café’s wifi. I was astonished. Witchcraft really had moved on in the ten years since I’d rejected it.

I leafed through my spell book, but clearly none of my relatives were quite as stupid as me and there were no spells to turn someone back into a person if you’d accidentally turned them into a frog.

‘Ah ha,’ Harry said. ‘I think this is the one. How’s your French?’

‘Is it in French?’ I was in despair. Poor Millicent was doomed to stay small and green forever.

‘Yes, unfortunately,’ Harry said, swiping her iPad furiously. ‘Oh no, hang on, here it is in English.’

‘Right, go on then,’ I said. I pushed the cake box towards her.

‘No, you have to do it,’ she said. She turned the iPad round so I could see the screen. It was a spells and charms website. Really. The internet was a marvellous thing.

I read the spell through once to myself. It seemed quite straightforward.

‘I’ll open the box,’ Harry said. ‘Then you can say the words.’

‘OK,’ I said. ‘Let’s go.’

Harry opened the lid and I looked in at the slightly sad-looking frog inside. Then I whispered the words from the iPad screen.

The lights in the café dimmed slightly as I spoke and I could feel the magic gathering over our heads, like a cloud.

There was a pink flash, and suddenly Millicent was standing in front of us. Her blonde curls were dishevelled and her tartan hat slightly askew.

Harry moved fast. She swept Millicent on to one of the chairs, and fixed an expression of concern on to her face.

‘How are you feeling now, Mrs Fry?’ she asked, taking one of Millicent’s hands.

‘What happened?’ she said, looking confused. I felt sorry for her.

‘You had a bit of a funny turn,’ I said. That was an understatement. ‘I was just closing up, you came in and started to speak, then you went a bit peculiar.’

Millicent was bewildered. Harry was talking softly under her breath, and stroking one of her hands. I didn’t know what she was doing, but I could see the magic all around her.

‘I feel OK,’ Millicent said, sounding as surprised to say it as I was to hear it. ‘In fact I feel absolutely fine.’

Harry grinned at her and dropped her hand.

‘Great,’ she said. ‘What a relief. Thanks for popping in.’

Millicent got up, a wee bit unsteadily.

‘I can’t remember what it was I came in for,’ she said.

‘Oh dear,’ Harry said. ‘How strange. Do come back if you remember won’t you?’

She steered her towards the door. Millicent still looked unsure.

‘I don’t remember anything,’ she said.

Harry and I exchanged a look over Mrs Fry’s head. So that’s what my cousin had been doing while she held Millicent’s hand. Crafty.

‘You’re probably just tired,’ Harry said.

‘Or hungry,’ I added.

‘You’re so busy.’ Harry opened the door.

‘Go home and put your feet up,’ I said. I picked up her scarf, which had obviously fallen off when she changed, and handed it to her. ‘Come back soon.’

Millicent staggered out of the door and into the rainy evening. We watched her walk up the path, then I shut the door firmly and locked it.

‘Shit,’ I said. ‘I think I’ve made things a whole lot worse for everyone.’

I made us both a coffee and explained what Brent had told me.

‘He says the Housewives’ Guild have been talking about us,’ I said. ‘He reckons he’s heard crazy rumours about us.’

‘But those crazy rumours could just be true,’ Harry said. ‘Mum did say she’d had a bit of trouble with a few spells.’

‘And Millicent was the one whose spell turned her into a sex fiend,’ I said.

‘Kermit?’ Harry said, her face creasing up in laughter again. ‘Kermit was the one who was snogging her husband on the steps of the library?’