Between a Rock and a Hard Place (2 page)

“I can’t go on tour with you to Asia.” Every pair of eyes turned to look at Jessi.  Tommy and Angel both had a question mark stamped on their faces.  Damien’s brow was raised almost as high as his blue mohawk, while Alyssa’s playful smirk asked what drama was about to unfold next.  Jimmy was the least concerned with Jessi’s announcement about not accompanying the band on tour.  It was expected.  If it didn’t involve the drums or girls, it didn’t affect Jimmy much.  The strongest reaction came from Marissa, Immortal Angel’s publicist and right hand to the head of Falcon Records, Ron Abelman.

Marissa made it a point to walk with a slow purposeful stride across the carpeted floor of Tommy and Angel’s in-home studio.  Her vintage Dior suit was right out of
Vogue
1992.  Jessi could spot a designer label and identify its circa 30 feet away.

Marissa’s Latin eyes had a small fire behind them.  “What do you mean? You work for the label.  It’s your obligation to go on tour with the band.”

“We were supposed to leave for Europe in June.  I’m looking forward to that, but you never mentioned anything about going to Asia before the European tour.”

“Mr. Abelman didn’t want me to say anything until we confirmed the band’s marketability.  It turns out that their popularity has soared in Asia, so we added a slew of venues.  Hong Kong, Shanghai, Beijing, Singapore, Tokyo, plus radio and television promotional appearances.  We’re heading out a month earlier than planned.”

Jessi was sure her cheeks were flushed as bright as her hot pink hair, but she wasn’t backing down.  She waited too long and worked too hard over the last few months to throw everything away.

She had returned to the Fashion Institute of Technology, better known as FIT, to get her degree in fashion as soon as they returned from the national tour, and she was in the process of opening her boutique.  She had waited years to accomplish these two things in her life.  A month’s time wasn’t going to make a difference with the tour, but it would make a huge difference in her life.  She wasn’t about to give up her dreams, especially when they were finally within her grasp.  She was ready to make a name for herself.  “You know I’m in the middle of getting my degree and opening a boutique.  I’ve been working my butt off trying to get everything done and in place before we leave for Europe.  I need that month.”

“Dates change in this business all the time.” Marissa turned on the heel of her Jimmy Choo shoes.  “Work it out.  You’re expected to be on that plane to Hong Kong with the rest of the band in two weeks.”

Jessi waited in silence while Marissa walked upstairs and let herself out of the house.  “I don’t care what Marissa or Mr. Abelman says.  I’m not getting on that plane.”

Angel was the first to say anything.  “Are you serious?  You can’t miss the tour.”

“Don’t pressure her, A.  She can’t drop everything she worked for.”  Tommy was upset.  She saw it in the way he bounced his boot off the carpet and in the downward bow of his mouth, but Jessi knew that he wanted her to finish her studies more than anyone.

Education was important to Tommy.  He didn’t need a BA to become a musician, but he worked his ass off to graduate at the top of his class.  She knew he still felt guilty that she dropped out of college in her last semester, even though it was her decision.  She couldn’t turn down a high paying job as an associate designer.  It was the only way they were able to afford to get married and buy their first house.

Angel didn’t go to college.  He didn’t need to go to culinary school.  He learned the skill first hand from his father and worked as a sous chef in his father’s restaurant until the band got signed.

Tommy put his hands on Jessi’s waist, and they quietly stared at each other. His bright blue eyes lost some of their spark.  She knew everything he was thinking.  She always did.  Her heart was breaking at the thought of staying behind, but it pained her more to think about how much Tommy would miss her.

He rested his head on her shoulder, buried his face in her hair and held her as if she was leaving right that moment.  “We’ve never been apart.” His voice was low and soft, filled with sadness and emotion.  “Please don’t hate me if I tell you to stay here.  I want you to graduate and open your store.”

A small smile worked its way onto her downturned mouth.  “I could never hate you, baby.  I love you.”

“I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”

Angel wrapped his arms around the both of them in a crushing embrace.  “You’re really not coming with us?”

She shook her head, afraid her voice would give away her anguish.

“I’m going to worry about you here all by yourself.”  Angel released one hand from his embrace long enough to wipe the corner of his eye.  “Are you going to be OK?”

Her voice was caught in her throat and she couldn’t answer.  It was hard enough to handle Tommy’s woeful acceptance of her withdrawal from the tour, but Angel’s heartfelt struggle with it was almost too much to bear.  She was still smashed between Tommy and Angel and she didn’t want to let go.

Over Tommy’s shoulder, she noticed Jimmy, Damien and Alyssa backed up against the wall looking for the right time to bolt, or hoping to melt into the sheetrock.

Tommy loosened the embrace and placed his hands on Jessi’s shoulders.  “Angel has a point.  I don’t want you staying here all alone.  Can one of your sisters come and stay with you?”

She found their concern adorable.  “I’ll be fine.  We have the house alarm.  I’ll set it every night.  I promise.”

He nodded and gave her a weak smile.  “I guess that means we need a new assistant for a few weeks.”  He turned to face Alyssa.  “Do you need a job?”

“Me?”  Alyssa eyed him wearily.  “I don’t think that’s going to work.”

“Why not?”  Damien asked.  “Jessi can go over everything you need to do before we leave.  And it’ll save me a shit load of money on airfare.  If you’re working for the label, you’ll fly on their dime.”

“It’s not the job.”  Alyssa looked at everyone.  “I wanted to tell you when we were alone, but I guess we’re all family here.  You know how much I hate flying, Damien.  I’m not looking forward to a six-hour plane ride to Europe, but I could deal with it.  There’s no way I’m sitting on a plane to Hong Kong for 20 hours.”

Damien rolled his eyes.  “Really, Alyssa?  Can’t you just pop a sleeping pill or something?”

She shook her head adamantly.  “I don’t want to be on a plane for 20 hours, asleep or awake.  I’m sorry.  I’m not going.”

Damien stared at her.  There was a softness to his eyes that wasn’t usually there when he spoke to anyone else.

“Don’t be mad,” she said.

He took a long time to answer and everyone else in the room waited for his reply, much like everyone had watched Jessi with Tommy and Angel a few minutes ago.

Damien let out a deep breath.  “I guess I can’t force you to go if you don’t want to.”

Jessi realized that it meant Alyssa would be here to keep her company, and wondered if it were a ploy in order for them to have some fun without the boys.  She felt a little less guilty for abandoning the first leg of the tour and giddy about sharing the time alone with her friend.  “That’s perfect. You can stay here at the house with me.”

Alyssa glanced toward the stairway that led to the rest of the house.  “I’d love to stay here with you.”

Jessi felt better about staying behind, but she needed to find someone to fill in for her on the tour.  “Do you think Audra would be interested in my job?  She’s interning for her father at Falcon.  I’m sure she’d love to go on tour with Immortal Angel.”

“I like that idea,” Jimmy was quick to reply.  “She’s a cool chick.  Since we’re outta here in two weeks, when you talk to Marissa tell her we want to play The Quadrangle before we go.  I love that place, man.  We haven’t played there since before the national tour.  We owe them a show.”

Jessi nodded.  “I’ll tell her.  I guess it’s settled then.  I’m staying here with Alyssa while the band goes to Asia.”

Chapter Two

Tommy was having a hard time dealing with the idea that Jessi wasn’t coming with him to Asia, even though he pretended to accept it.  He couldn’t fathom spending four weeks without her.  His heart sank deeper into the pit of his stomach and dread overshadowed the anticipation of the tour.  She had been at every show since they first met.  He couldn’t imagine being on stage and not seeing her at the curtain.

She knew him better than anyone, and she was a constant tower of unconditional love and support.  She meant everything to him.  He found her in her sewing room, working at the table.  “I know you’re busy, but can I talk to you, hon?”

“Of course, baby.”  She put down the leather material in her hand and sat on the sofa at the opposite end of the room.  Concern covered her face as she waited for him to begin.

Tommy sat next to her, took her hand and gently pressed it against his chest, over his heart.  It crumbled at the reminder of their impending separation.  He hadn’t been this torn up since he was a teenager dealing with his sexuality.

“I’ve had a lot of time to think about our life together these last few days since you told me you weren’t coming with us to Asia.  I feel very guilty for a lot of things and I don’t think I’ve been exactly fair to you in our marriage.  I want you to know how sorry I am.  I would never intentionally hurt you.”

The slight shake of her head and confused frown made him continue.

“I’m talking about Angel.  Everything that happened in L.A.  That shit with the DVD.”  He moved her hand to his lips and pressed a kiss into it.  “I never expected to bring a third person into our life.  It doesn’t mean that I love you any less.  I love you more because of everything we’ve been through.  It’s going to be hard to be away from one another, and I’ll be with Angel and you’ll be here.  I didn’t plan that.  I don’t want that.  I just want you to be happy, and I want you to know how much I love you.”

Her lip quivered slightly, then steadied.  “I’m at peace with everything and I don’t have any qualms about Angel.  I love him, too.  Our life is fuller because he’s part of it.”  She threw her arms around his neck.  “I’m going to miss you so much.  A part of me keeps saying, fuck everything and get on the plane with you, but I know I’d regret it.”

“I’d never let you do that, Jessi.  You’re graduating and opening your store.  It’s your time to shine.”  He looked across the room at her work table and the strips of black leather.  “What are you making?”

She turned toward the table with enthusiasm.  “It’s a jacket for Angel to wear at the show in Hong Kong.  Let me show you.”  She waved her hand for him to follow her to the work table.

There were panels of black leather cut for the front of a jacket and various sized spikes and grommets arranged into a pattern on the table.

“I’m going to put the larger spikes up on the shoulder.  Up here.”  She ran her finger over the top part of the piece of leather.  “Then they’re going to graduate in size down the back in a V-shaped pattern.”

Tommy touched the tip of one of the spikes and quickly retreated his finger.  “That’s sharp.  I’m going to get my eye poked out with that.”

Jessi laughed.  “Just be careful.  I made you something, too.”  She pushed some fabric out of the way and held up a matching black leather guitar strap.  She used the same long spikes that she was going to use on Angel’s jacket.  The long threatening spikes sat high on the shoulder, then graduated into smaller spikes as they went down the back of the strap.