Better Than Perfect (28 page)

“I don’t know if she wants me to fight for her.” He leaned over, sucking in a few deep breaths. “I thought she did. I thought maybe that was the one way I’d failed her all those years ago. I just walked away, thinking I had nothing to offer her anyway. I figured I’d make the big leagues and come back, dazzling her with a big contract and an even bigger ring.”

“Didn’t work out that way, did it?”

“It most certainly did not.”

“But you didn’t give up on her.” Bryce started jogging in place. Ready to head back the way they’d come. “You were more faithful to her than most married guys in this league. So why give up now?”

“She said I’m rushing her.” Johnny still couldn’t believe that. “Fourteen years, I’ve been waiting for this woman. Waiting for the life that should have been mine all along. And she gets cold feet.”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s because of the kid. Maybe she’s afraid of making a mistake.” Bryce started jogging back toward the ballpark.

“The thing is, we might’ve made another mistake.” Johnny joined him stride for stride. It was so much easier to talk when he was moving. “Not that Zach’s a mistake. He’s a great kid.”

“She could be pregnant?” Bryce didn’t even miss a step.

“Yeah.” Johnny kept jogging, the words coming easier with each step. “I tried to assure her I’ll be there for her and the baby, if there is one. Told her I’m quitting after this season. And we can get married.”

“Whoa. You’re quitting?” Bryce stopped in his tracks. He shouldn’t be surprised. It wasn’t like Johnny was still a young player. “Wait. Did you propose?”

“I didn’t get the chance. I told her I thought we should get married. And then I was going to take her to pick out a ring—”

“Before or after the discussion of the possible pregnancy?”

“After. I think.” Johnny couldn’t remember. He just knew he’d blown it. Did the order matter at this point?

“There’s your mistake, man.” Bryce gave him a hearty clap on the back.

“What?” It might as well have been a sucker punch.

“I don’t care how practical a woman is, you never propose by saying it’s the right thing to do.” Bryce chuckled, like Johnny had somehow missed the most basic rule. “Women want romance. They don’t want to think the only reason you’re asking is because you knocked them up. Trust me, it will only make things worse. Even if she says yes.”

“Well, it worked for Mel.” Shit. Would he ever be able to let that go? “There’s no way she would have married him if she hadn’t been pregnant. She admitted as much.”

“Even though she’s in love with you.”

“Apparently not.”

“Give her some time to cool off.” Bryce suggested. “Then you have to go all out. Make the most romantic gesture of all time.”

“I’ve never been good at romance,” Johnny admitted. “Back when we were dating, I couldn’t afford things like flowers and nice dinners. I wasn’t good with poetry either. I barely passed my English classes.”

“That stuff’s for amateurs anyways.” Bryce acted like he knew what he was talking about. But Johnny didn’t want to get laid. He’d managed that part fine on his own. He wanted something more permanent. Something his buddy hadn’t been able to manage, either. “You need to come up with something original. Something that can live up to the legend that is Johnny Scottsdale.”

* * * *

Alice sometimes wished she’d leased office space downtown. Running the Harrison Foundation from her home office was convenient, sure, but also made it difficult to separate her personal and professional lives.

When Zach was little, it was the only way she could manage it all. She worked while he was in school, making phone calls, sending emails, meeting with donors. Then she’d pick him up, do the whole homework, dinner, activities routine. And once he was in bed, she’d tackle the paperwork. Reports, thank you letters, and all the attention to details best handled when the house was quiet and she was more than happy to have the distraction of work to keep her from dwelling on her loneliness.

As the work had become more routine, the loneliness became harder to quell. Zach was growing up, not needing her as much. Soon he wouldn’t need her at all. Or at least, he wouldn’t admit to it. And the foundation no longer filled the hole in her life.

It would be easy enough to hire someone to take over. An eager college grad, or perhaps a mother seeking to return to the workforce after years of volunteer service and school fundraising. It could even be a good fit for the semi-retired. Someone who needed to keep busy, but not have the kind of stress running, say, an investment firm required.

She knew the perfect person for the job.

The transition wouldn’t take more than a few months. Certainly less than nine. She patted her lower abdomen. She might finally have the perfect excuse to walk away from the Mel Harrison Jr. Foundation.

She and Frannie had a standing lunch date. But since Mel hadn’t been released from the hospital yet, they moved the location to the cafeteria instead of their usual restaurant. Frannie looked pretty good for a woman who’d no doubt slept in a chair.

“Alice, thank you for agreeing to meet here. Their clam chowder is actually not bad. I had some last night.” Frannie was trying to be cheerful. Put a positive spin on things. But she was worried. No doubt about it.

“When is Mel going to be released?” Alice grabbed a tray and followed her mother-in-law through the cafeteria line.

“Later this afternoon.” Frannie headed straight for the salad bar, and started loading up on organic greens. “But he’s already getting anxious. I guess that’s a good sign. That he’s ready to get out of here.”

“Yes. I can’t imagine him staying here willingly if he’s feeling better.”

“That’s what worries me. What is he going to do to fill his days?”

“He’s really going to retire?” It was hard to imagine the man actually slowing down.

“He’d better.” Frannie filled a small cup with balsamic vinaigrette and placed it next to her salad plate. She moved over to the soup tureen. “But how am I going to keep him out of my hair? Especially now that Zach is…getting older, and wanting to spend more time with his friends.”

“Maybe something will come up.” Alice wanted to wait until they were seated before bringing up her idea. “And Zach will still be around.”

“Oh, Alice, I appreciate that, but what if Johnny ends up going to another team? Will you follow him?”

“I don’t know. He says he’s planning to retire after this year. And…” She ladled soup into her bowl and tossed some crackers on her tray. “It’s not as easy as it was back in college.”

“Of course it isn’t easy.” Frannie chuckled to herself. “Whatever made you think it would be?”

“It used to be.” Alice poured herself an iced tea and approached the cashier.

“If it was so easy, why did you let him go?”

Okay. Good point. Especially since the difficulties had been mostly in her imagination.

“Johnny wants to get married.” Alice waited until they sat before sharing that piece of information.

“And you don’t?”

“No. I mean, I do. But…”

What did she want? Once upon a time it had all been so simple. She’d dreamed of being a teacher. A mother. A wife. Johnny’s wife. But in her vision it had been so different.

“I guess I wanted it to be perfect.”

“Oh honey, nothing is ever perfect.”

“Johnny was. Once.” Alice smiled, recalling the night he pitched his perfect game.

“Yes. But that was just a game.” Frannie touched her hand. “The rest of the time he’s just a man. A good man. But still, only a man.”

“I know. It’s… Every time I try to do the right thing, I end up hurting him.”

“So you’re going to let him go?” Frannie asked. “Won’t that hurt him even more?”

“But then he can get on with his life.”

“Honey, if he hasn’t done that by now, he never will.”

They each took a few bites of their lunch. It actually wasn’t bad. In fact it was pretty good clam chowder. And the bread was fresh. If they hadn’t been eating off plastic trays, she’d think they were in a nice restaurant instead of a hospital cafeteria.

“Did he actually propose?” Frannie asked.

“Well, no. I didn’t give him a chance.” Alice had pushed him away. Again.

“Well, a man has his pride.” Frannie smiled knowingly. Then she let out a long sigh. “Sometimes it’s a good thing. But sometimes…”

“You’re worried about Mel.” How could she have been so selfish, coming here and whining about her problems? Problems she’d gone out of her way to create.

“Of course, I am. He can’t keep working full time, but…” She let out a weary sigh. “I don’t know what he’s going to do next.”

“I’m sure you’ll think of something.” Alice scooped up the last of her clam chowder. Maybe now was a good time to throw out her idea. See if it would be a hit or a miss. “I think it’s time for me to step away from the foundation.”

“Oh, Alice, whatever will we do without you?” Frannie dropped her spoon.

“Maybe Mel could take over.” The enthusiasm she’d felt when the idea first came to her was increasing. “We have a good team in place. The program practically runs itself. And I would feel better knowing the foundation was in the hands of someone who truly cared about it.”

Frannie didn’t say anything for a minute. She simply nodded, thinking about Alice’s suggestion.

“You know, I think that might be a terrific idea.” Frannie’s face lit up. “Of course, you’ll have to stay on for a little while, to oversee the transition.”

“Of course.” It was the least she could do.

“So, the only tricky part will be in convincing Mel that you need him to do this. That he’d be doing you the favor. Not the other way around.”

“He would be doing me a favor,” Alice admitted. “I’ve enjoyed my work with the foundation. But it is time for me to move on. With Johnny, if he’ll have me.”

The two women put their heads together to come up with a plan for letting Mel take over the Mel Harrison Jr. Foundation. Then Alice could focus her attention on winning Johnny’s trust.

And maybe, just maybe have a chance at something better than perfect. The family she and Johnny should have had all along.

* * * *

“Hey Zach, I’m sorry I didn’t catch you at lunch.” Ashley stopped by his locker after school. He was shoving the last of his stuff into his backpack. “But my friends were… Well, I thought you said what you wanted to tell me was private.”

“No big deal.” Zach shouldered his backpack and shrugged, tightening the strap.

“So, do you walk home every day?” She tilted her head to the side. Just enough for her hair to swing out and brush her shoulder.

He wondered if it was as soft as it looked. But it wasn’t like he could just reach out and touch it. “Yeah, usually.”

“Cool.” Ashley smiled and it was like she hit him in the stomach. Hard enough that he couldn’t catch his breath. “Can I walk with you?”

“Sure.” Zach tried to think of what Johnny said on the mound.
Focus. Breathe
. Oh, yeah, that’s what he was forgetting to do.
Breathe
. “Let’s go.”

They took their time leaving the campus. Some of the kids all left in a big rush right at the bell, but Zach wanted to have Ashley to himself. Or as much to himself as possible in broad daylight on a busy city street.

“So…” Ashley started to ask him something, but then changed her mind or something. “How did you do on Miss Rosenberg’s test?”

“A-minus.”

“Me too. She’s tough.”

“Yeah.”

They walked on, but they didn’t have too much farther to go before she would turn up the street and he would turn down.

“So, about your dad?” She stopped, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. Zach never understood why girls wore their hair long and then they were always fussing with it. But right now, he liked her long hair. And the way she was fussing with it. He was glad he could look at it and not think about what he was about to tell her. His biggest secret.

“Yeah.” Zach almost couldn’t remember what he was going to tell her.

“Who is he?” She tilted her head, making her hair fall forward. Making him lose concentration. No wonder Johnny needed to be like a monk. Girls were very distracting.