Behind the Film Star's Smile (7 page)

Then she shifted round so she was facing Luke. ‘Did you enjoy it?’

He blew out a breath. ‘More than enjoyed it. That was stunning. I can’t believe you’ve taught her that in only a couple of days.’

‘It’s still a bit rough round the edges.’

‘Even so, that’s an amazing achievement in such a teensy amount of time.’ He shook his head, impressed. ‘You’re an incredible trainer.’

‘Baloo’s an incredible dog,’ Jess corrected. ‘She picks things up quickly—when Monica gets her a family, it needs to be one who’ll take her to something like agility classes or do this kind of training with her. I guarantee she won’t chew, because she won’t be lonely or bored if you keep her active like this.’

‘She’s really blossomed.’ He drummed his fingers thoughtfully on the arm of the sofa. ‘You ought to show this to my director.’

‘Maybe.’ But Jess looked pleased and her cheeks went very slightly pink.

‘Would she do this with me?’ he asked.

‘Probably. I’ll need to show you the commands. When you want her to circle, you do this.’ She showed him the gesture and made him repeat it half a dozen times before she was satisfied. ‘Good. She’ll sit when you tell her. Then you need to get her to put her head on one side—she’ll watch you and mirror you.’ She talked him through the rest of the routine, then put the song on again and sat on the sofa, legs curled up, watching them as they went through the routine.

Luke knew his performance wasn’t anywhere near as polished as Jess’s had been, but even so he was blown away by the way the dog responded. He’d worked with animals before in his career, but it had never been like this. He’d never felt a real connection with the animals before. Not like it was with Baloo.

‘You are just brilliant, Baloo.’ He made a fuss of the dog and looked up at Jess. ‘Can I steal some of your treats for her?’

‘Sure.’ She fished the bag from her pocket and handed it to him, and Luke took great pleasure in feeding the dog some treats.

‘Monica’s going to be blown away by this, girl,’ he said. He looked up at Jess. ‘And it’s all thanks to you.’

‘Baloo’s the one who did all the work,’ she said.

‘Coffee?’ he asked. ‘And we can watch the skyline light up.’

She nodded. ‘I’d like that. That view’s amazing.’

‘Yeah.’ Oddly, it pleased him that her thoughts were so in tune with his own.

They sat on the balcony with a mug of coffee until it was just too chilly to stay out, then came in to sit on the sofa. Baloo climbed up between them, settling herself with her nose on Jess’s knee.

Jess went quiet on him again, but this time it was a different sort of quiet. The sort that made Luke think that she was silently gulping back the tears.

‘Are you OK?’ he asked.

She swallowed hard. ‘Sure.’

But her tone was a little too bright. This was something to do with her ex and their dog, he was sure—the ones she didn’t speak about. ‘This is bringing back memories for you?’ he guessed.

She nodded.

‘Sorry.’

She took a deep breath and looked at him. ‘Set rules?’

‘Of course. Whatever you tell me stays with me.’

‘Thank you.’

He frowned. ‘What is it, Jess?’

She looked away. ‘You know I was a trainer—well, it was with the police.’

‘You were a policewoman?’ Luke looked surprised. ‘But I thought you said you did a degree in animal behaviour.’

‘I did. But you have to do a couple of years on the beat before you can apply to train as a police dog handler,’ she explained. ‘When I joined the dog handling section, I stayed in touch with my old team. Being in the police—it’s kind of like being in a family. You go through a lot together, so you’re there for each other, even if you don’t see each other every day.’

‘A bit like working on a film set—you bond with the crew. Even the difficult ones.’

‘I guess.’

‘So you worked with sniffer dogs and that sort of thing?’ he asked.

‘Finding drugs? Yes, but that isn’t the only work that the dogs do—they look for missing people, they work in search and rescue, and they track suspects.’ Her throat closed when she thought about tracking suspects. That last job...

He waited in silence, and she knew he wasn’t going to let her off the hook.

‘I trained as a police dog handler. I did a few courses, and I was always involved when we did a display for the public at a show—the sort where you have a cops and robbers chase, and the dog takes the baddie down. Obviously the robber is one of the team and we use a protective sleeve so nobody gets hurt. I used to enjoy choreographing that.

‘But it was only part of my job. I was shadowed by a trainee handler, and did some mentoring. That’s when I found out how much I liked teaching. My boss asked me to consider training the handlers. I did some instructors’ courses, and I loved it.’ She shrugged. ‘Obviously, if there was a big op, I could still help out as a handler. Most of the dogs are training to work with just their handler, but we also had dogs that were trained to work with several handlers.’

‘I know I asked you before, and you said you didn’t want to talk about it—but I really don’t get why you gave up a job you loved to be a temp,’ he said.

‘Because...’ She closed her eyes. The only way that she could get through telling him was if she could block everything else out. ‘My husband was a handler, too. Your police dog lives with you until retirement, then generally becomes your pet. Comet was his. Mine, too, I guess, but Comet really adored Matt. He was a liver and white Springer Spaniel. We’d known him since the day he was born.’ She blew out a breath. ‘And it was Comet’s last year in service. He was eight.’

Only eight. He’d still had years of life in him. His retirement years, when he could’ve been a much-loved family pet, happy to pad about the house or find himself a sunny spot in the garden where he could drowse the day away. And he hadn’t had the chance.

‘Matt was called out to a job. He’d had a tip from an informant about a drugs deal—he’d been trying to catch those particular dealers in the act for a while.’ She dragged in a breath. ‘But it was a set-up. They were lying in wait for him. They knew Matt would have a dog with him—the informant had fed back just as much information to the dealers as he’d given to the police, if not more.’ And, because of that decision, her life had imploded.

‘They targeted Comet first, put him out of action, then started beating Matt. Even though they broke his ribs and one of his legs, Comet still came after them and tried to protect Matt.’ She swallowed hard. ‘They shot him. They shot Matt, too. Then they left them both to die.’ The words were getting harder and harder to say. She forced the tears back. ‘They smashed Matt’s phone so he couldn’t call for help. He dragged himself into the street. God only knows how—he must have been in so much pain. But he wanted to try to save Comet. Someone found him and called an ambulance, and he told them as much as he could while they waited for the ambulance and the police to arrive—but he didn’t make it to hospital. He died from massive blood loss on the way there.’ Her throat felt raw with the effort of holding the tears back. ‘Comet didn’t make it, either.’

‘God, Jess. I don’t know what to say. But I’m so sorry you had to go through that.’

‘I didn’t even get the chance to say goodbye,’ she whispered. ‘I didn’t get to say “I love you” one last time.’

‘They knew,’ he said fiercely. ‘I’m sure they knew how much you loved them.’

Maybe. Except her last words to Matt had been... She squeezed her eyes even more tightly shut to block it out.

‘When did it happen?’ he asked softly.

‘A year ago.’ She’d gone completely to pieces afterwards. Especially after she lost the baby. Though she couldn’t tell Luke about that.

Even so, to her surprise, words continued to pour out of her mouth, words that just refused to be held back now she’d started telling him about it.

‘It’s taken me a while to get my life back together. I managed to find a job with a temp agency. Doing pretty much anything and everything. I know it isn’t what I was trained for, and I felt so guilty that I was wasting all that time and money and effort—but I needed to do a safe job. Something where nobody ever had a chance of getting hurt.’

‘But you miss it, now?’

‘I miss working with dogs, yes,’ she admitted. ‘I haven’t been able to admit that there was this huge hole in my life, even to myself. My sister and my best friend have both nagged me about it.’

‘Maybe you just needed time to work it out for yourself,’ he said softly. ‘I’m sorry. Looking after Baloo was the worst thing I could’ve asked you to do.’

‘And the best.’ She took a deep breath. ‘Looking after her, training her—it’s made me think, maybe I
can
go back. Not to the police. I can’t handle the idea of training someone who’s going to go out and get hurt, maybe killed. I just can’t do it. But I could work with people like you. People who’ve just got their first dogs. Or maybe working with animals on film sets—all the risk assessments will be done to minimise the risk of an accident, and nobody’s going to come in and hurt someone deliberately.’ Her voice dropped to a raspy whisper. ‘Nobody’s going to
die
.’

*

Not only that, every job would have a different crew, Luke thought. Every job would have different animals. If she set up training classes for new owners, every course would have a different set of people. Which meant she wouldn’t get involved, the way you would with a permanent set of colleagues. At heart, she was just like him, scared to get involved again.

Though she had much more reason to be scared. She’d lost everything through circumstances out of her control. He’d lost everything because he hadn’t tried hard enough.

‘I’m sorry you had to go through that,’ he said again. ‘And I get that I’m maybe asking you too much. If you know someone else who can help me...?’

‘You don’t want me to do it?’

‘Not if it’s going to be too hard for you. If it’s going to rip everything open.’

‘I’m always going to miss Matt and Comet. That’ll never change. But they say that time heals. Every day it gets that tiny bit easier to handle.’ She stroked Baloo’s head. ‘And Baloo here—I never expected that, but she’s helped so much.’

‘I’m glad,’ he said softly, and reached over to squeeze her hand. And funny how it made his skin tingle all over. The lightest, gentlest contact. Crazy. It was almost like being a teenager again—that sense of expectation, of possibilities blooming, of everything being one step further into the exciting unknown.

Was it like this for her, too?

Not that he dared ask. Especially given what she’d just told him. And now he understood what she was struggling to get over: the death of the love of her life. His murder.

Maybe she wasn’t ready for another relationship right now. Or maybe she felt the same pull that he did—despite not wanting to get involved, he found he couldn’t help it.

Slowly. They needed to take this slowly. Not push too fast outside their comfort zones. And, right then, he just wanted to savour the moment and enjoy the kind of feeling he hadn’t had for a very, very long time.

*

At the end of the evening, Luke insisted on driving Jess home, with Baloo in her crate in the back, and walked her to her front door. ‘Goodnight, Jess,’ he said. ‘Have a good weekend.’

‘You, too. Thank you for tonight.’

Her eyes were huge in the light from the street lamp, and he couldn’t resist dipping his head to kiss her goodnight. He brushed his lips against hers. But once wasn’t enough, and all his good intentions of taking it slowly just vanished as if they’d never been. He kissed her again. And again, until she kissed him back.

When he finally broke the kiss, they were both shaking.

‘I’d better go. Baloo,’ he said, gesturing to his car.

‘Yeah.’ Her voice sounded slightly rusty. Sexy as hell.

It almost made him yank her back into his arms. But his common sense prevailed.

Just.

‘See you later,’ he said, and fled back to the car, waiting until she’d closed the door behind her before driving away.

CHAPTER SIX

I
S
L
UKE
LACKING
?

Luke caught his breath as he saw the headline on Saturday morning.

No. Surely not. Fleur wouldn’t have told the press about
that
...would she?

Feeling sick, he read on.

Bad enough. The article was asking if he was lacking confidence, given that his last film was the first one for nearly ten years where he hadn’t been nominated for a single award—would the new one be more of the same? The sly insinuation was that he’d passed his peak, this film was his last chance, and he was about to blow it.

He rolled his eyes. That was utterly ridiculous. Every actor or director made at least one film that didn’t touch a chord with the audience as much as the others. You couldn’t be at the top of the tree for your entire career. Life didn’t work that way.

Was this story the handiwork of Fleur’s cronies? Or maybe, he thought, Mimi’s, given that he hadn’t taken her up on her offers of being available. It could be her way of getting back at him, by hitting out at him professionally.

But he was just grateful that it wasn’t the article he’d been dreading. The topic that Fleur had promised not to air—though that had been before the guilt kicked in and she’d started vilifying him to make herself feel better about the fact she’d cheated on him.

Is Luke lacking?

Yes.

Because he hadn’t been able to give his wife the baby she wanted.

Some people coped with infertility. They had counselling, they tried IVF, they thought about different routes to having a family.

But Fleur hadn’t wanted any of that. She’d just wanted a baby of her own, without having to go through invasive therapy or an emotional wringer. So she’d found herself someone who could provide what her husband couldn’t.

Baloo wriggled her way onto his lap and licked his face.

He stroked her head. ‘Are you trying to cheer me up?’

She wagged her tail hard.

‘You’re right. I should just stop the pity party and do something useful. Like take you for a walk.’

What had Jess said to him before?

A good run with a dog at your side will definitely put the world to rights. Even if you do have to go out in public wearing dark glasses and a silly hat.

‘Do I need dark glasses and a silly hat?’ he asked the dog.

Baloo just gave him that dopey doggy grin.

‘Wearing dark glasses makes it look as if I’ve got something to hide.’

Well, he had. His infertility.

‘Or as if I’m letting that article get to me—meaning there’s some truth in it.’

Which there wasn’t. Even though it had got to him, just a bit.

‘Right, then. No hat,’ he said. ‘No glasses. We’re going for a run, just as we are.’

He was surprised to discover that Jess was right. Going for a run with the dog by his side made him feel so much better and blew away some of the misery of that article. He had an endorphin rush from the run and he had the companionship of the dog. And other dog owners were smiling at him—not because he was Luke McKenzie, but because he had a dog with him and it was a shared fellowship.

When they got back to his house, Luke was feeling so much better. On impulse, he pulled out his mobile phone and typed a text to Jess.
You were right about taking the dog for a run.

Then he paused. There was no point in sending this. She’d already said she was busy this weekend, and it wasn’t fair to burden her with the way he felt. And sending that text would be pathetic and needy.

He could deal with this himself. Just like he had with every other emotional issue since his marriage imploded.

Grimacing, he pressed a button to delete the text.

*

You were right about taking the dog for a run.

Jess read the text and frowned.

Why would Luke send her such a cryptic message?

And what had she said to him about a run?

She racked her brain, then remembered. It was the evening when she’d teased him about his awful beanie hat. She’d told him that when you’d had a bad day, the best thing you could do was to go for a run with a dog at your side.

Which meant that Luke was having a really bad day—particularly as he’d admitted that she was right.

They weren’t shooting at the weekend, as far as she knew, so it couldn’t be work. So was it his aunt? Had she taken a turn for the worse?

She called him. ‘Hey, it’s Jess,’ she said when he answered.

‘Jess?’ He sounded shocked to hear from her.

‘You just texted me,’ she pointed out.

‘No, I didn’t.’

‘So you haven’t just taken Baloo for a run?’

‘Ah.
That
text.’ He sighed. ‘I meant to delete that, not send it. My apologies.’

‘Is everything OK?’ she asked.

‘Sure.’

‘So your aunt’s all right?’ Jess persisted, convinced that something was wrong and he was bluffing. But he’d let her dump a load of stuff on him, last night. The least she could do would be to return the favour.

‘Monica’s a bit stir-crazy and dying to come home, but they’re keeping an eye on her for a while longer yet.’

‘That’s good. I was worried that something might be wrong.’

‘Why?’

She coughed. ‘Let’s try that again. If I’m right about taking the dog for a run, it means you’re having a bad day. So if it’s not your aunt...’

He sighed. ‘Ignore me. I just let a stupid article get to me, that’s all.’

She knew she was probably speaking out of turn, but she couldn’t help herself. ‘It sounds as if you could do with tea and cake.’

‘Tea and cake?’ he asked.

‘My sister’s remedy for absolutely everything.’

‘Does it work?’

And that sounded as if the words had come out before he could stop them. ‘Usually.’ She paused. ‘If you have tea, I could bring some cake over.’

‘I thought you were busy?’

Most of that had been an excuse so she didn’t seem needy. Or like a stalker. ‘I can always make time for cake.’

‘Then thank you. Cake,’ he said, ‘sounds perfect.’

‘See you in a bit.’

Jess went to the bakery round the corner from her flat to buy a selection of cakes, picked up some dog treats from the pet shop further down the parade of shops, and took the Tube to Luke’s place. Remembering that kiss from last night made her feel slightly nervous about it. Was she doing the right thing? Was he going to think that her offer of comforting him with cake was going to be followed up by comforting him with kisses? And did she actually want to kiss him again?

The heat that flooded her skin told her that yes, she did.

Luke was the first man she’d been attracted to since Matt was killed. Part of Jess felt guilty about it—how could she want someone else, when it was only a year since she’d been widowed? And yet she knew that, had it been the other way round, she wouldn’t have wanted Matt to spend the rest of his life pining for her.

And then again, how did Luke feel?

Not wanting to think too closely about that, she checked her phone to see if she could find the article that had thrown him off balance. She winced as she read it. How horrible to have people speculating about you in that way, and knocking your confidence. She was glad that she’d never had to deal with anything like that.

When she rang the doorbell, he opened the front door a few seconds later and the Labrador pushed her way in front of him, wriggling and wagging her tail wildly.

She grinned. ‘Nice welcome, Baloo. And, yes, I brought something for you.’ She smiled at Luke. ‘And for you.’ She handed him the box.

He glanced inside when he’d ushered her indoors. ‘These look wonderful—I don’t believe this. Cupcakes with top hats on.’

‘Well, with you being such a hat fiend...’ she deadpanned.

He grinned. ‘Yeah. Thank you. What tea would you like? Earl Grey? Rooibos and vanilla? Chai?’

Clearly he was a man after her own heart; she had a variety of teas in her own cupboard. ‘Chai, please.’

‘Chai it is.’

Luke had one of those posh glass teapots where you put loose-leaf tea in a basket in the centre that could be taken out when the tea was at the desired strength. And Jess noticed that he was careful not to put the tea into the water until they were both sitting on his balcony with a loaded tea tray in front of them. ‘Tea, meet water. Water, meet tea,’ he said, and pulled the centre out so he could pour her tea. ‘This is basically stinky milk, you know,’ he teased. ‘All you’re getting are the spices.’

‘Just how I like it,’ she said, and fed Baloo a dog treat while she waited for the tea to brew a bit more for him.

Sitting in the sunshine, overlooking the river, drinking tea and eating cupcakes: it was a perfect English summer afternoon. Apart from the fact that she wouldn’t be here if Luke was happy. ‘I read that article, by the way,’ she said. ‘I thought it was mean and underhand.’

He shrugged. ‘I just have to let it roll.’

‘Why can’t you complain to the editor and make them apologise?’

‘You know the saying, “Methinks the lady doth protest too much”?’ he quoted. ‘If I say something about it, then either I’m being stuck-up, or I’m trying to cover up the story. So it’s better just to say nothing and not give it any more air.’

‘It doesn’t seem fair that people can say anything they like about you, and you have to shut up and take it.’

‘Part and parcel of my job. Though it’s not my favourite bit,’ he admitted.

‘I don’t think any of your fans will agree with that article. They’ll all say it’s a load of tosh and your next film will be wonderful.’

‘Strictly speaking,’ he said, ‘the last one
wasn’t
my best film.’

He’d made it when he was in the middle of splitting up from Fleur, she guessed. So it was totally understandable. ‘You can’t be perfect all the time, and anyway your fans will forgive you a lot because of—well, what was happening in your life when you made it.’

‘I try not to let my personal life get in the way of work,’ he said, sounding slightly annoyed.

‘I wasn’t judging, Luke. Just saying that you’re human.’

‘Of course. Sorry.’ He grimaced. ‘I’m being oversensitive.’

‘I guess it must knock your confidence when people give you a harsh review or come out with stuff like this.’

‘That depends on how they do it. If they say what doesn’t work for them and they’re honest, then I can learn from it and make the next film better. I have no problem with that.’

‘That’s constructive criticism. Whereas this article...’ She grimaced. ‘It sounded to me more as if they had an axe to grind.’

‘Maybe.’ He looked uncomfortable, and she had the distinct impression that she was treading on a sore spot.

‘So taking Baloo for a run helped?’ she asked.

‘Yes, it did,’ he said. ‘More than I expected.’

‘Told you so. Strike two for Baloo,’ she said.

‘Jess,’ he warned softly, ‘I can’t be her forever owner.’

‘Methinks,’ she said, throwing his words back at him, ‘the lady—well, you’re
not a lady, but you know what I mean—
doth protest too much. And I bet your aunt would say the same.’

‘I’m just very glad you’re not in the same room together,’ he said wryly. ‘You’d be a force to be reckoned with.’

‘Now there’s an idea,’ she said lightly.

She finished her tea. ‘I’d better be going—I’m expected at my sister’s, and our parents are going to be there.’ For a mad moment, she almost invited him to go with her; she knew Carly wouldn’t mind Baloo turning up. But then why would an A-list actor want to hang out with a very ordinary family? ‘I guess you’ll be busy polishing your lines,’ she said.

He gestured to the dog. ‘And I have an audience to impress.’

‘You’ll impress your human audience, too,’ she said softly. ‘Don’t let that article mess with your head. Go for another run with Baloo if you need to.’ She paused. ‘I’m probably speaking out of turn, here, but someone I know well had a really bad confidence wobble, a couple of years back. She went through a tough time at work. What got her through it was going to the gym and learning to lift weights.’

He raised an eyebrow. ‘You’re suggesting that’s what I need to do? Go to a gym and lift weights?’

‘For my friend, it was doing something totally different, something out of her comfort zone. The discipline of training helped her focus and it helped her to get her confidence back.’ She looked at him. ‘You’ve hit a tough patch. The discipline of training Baloo might do the same thing for you that the gym did for her—it’s out of your comfort zone, but seeing the dog’s progress and knowing that you’re the one responsible for it...’ She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. ‘Oh, I’ll shut up. I’ve already said too much.’

‘You were right about the running. Maybe you’re right about this.’ He paused. ‘Jess, thanks. I really appreciate you being there for me.’

‘Hey. That’s what friends are for.’ She shrugged off his praise, but secretly it warmed her. ‘Thanks for the tea. See you Monday.’

‘Thanks for the cake. See you Monday.’

And, when Luke ushered her downstairs, it felt only natural for Jess to pause by the front door. To look at him. He was looking right back at her, his pupils wide and his eyes an incredible silver-grey. Almost in slow motion, his hand came up to cup her face. He rubbed his thumb gently along her lower lip. ‘Jess,’ he said softly, and she knew he was going to kiss her again. She couldn’t help tipping her head back slightly in offering. Softly, gently, he brushed his lips against hers, and that breezy goodbye on his balcony was completely undermined. She opened her mouth, letting him deepen the kiss, and somehow his arms were wrapped tightly round her and her hands were tangled in his hair.

When he broke the kiss, they were both shaking. His gaze held hers and for a moment she thought he was going to ask her to stay. But then he stroked her face again. ‘Sorry. I seem to be making a habit of this.’

Jess wasn’t sorry in the slightest. ‘So you do.’ She reached up to touch her mouth to his. ‘See you Monday,’ she whispered.

He stole another kiss. ‘Monday.’