Behind the Film Star's Smile (14 page)

‘I know they say you always lash out at the person closest to you—but, Lukey, that was insane.’

‘You’re telling me,’ he said wryly. ‘And this is how I’m going to fix it.’ He explained his plan to her.

‘It’s a long shot,’ Monica said. ‘But I think it’s about your only chance, now.’

It took the rest of the afternoon, and it wasn’t his best performance ever, but he didn’t have time to polish it—and, besides, polish wasn’t what Jess needed now. She needed unvarnished honesty.

He drove Baloo over to her flat and rang her doorbell.

No answer.

OK. If she was out, then he’d wait for her. He sat on her front doorstep with Baloo by his side.

Her nosey neighbour came out. ‘You do realise dogs aren’t allowed?’

‘Actually,’ Luke said, ‘Mr Bright happens to have given this particular dog special dispensation.’

The neighbour stared at him in obvious disbelief.

‘What have you got against dogs, anyway?’ Luke asked.

‘They bite.’

‘When they’re hurt and scared, maybe,’ Luke said. And he was guiltily aware that was what he’d done. He’d bitten Jess metaphorically, like a dog who was scared of being hurt again.

‘They’re savage beasts,’ the neighbour said.

‘Most of them aren’t, just those who haven’t been treated properly or trained. That’s what Jess does, trains them.’

‘I had to have years of skin grafts,’ the neighbour said.

‘I’m sorry,’ Luke said softly, ‘that you had such a bad experience, but not all dogs are bad. Come and meet Baloo. You can’t be scared of a dog called Baloo. It’s a ridiculous name and she’s a ridiculously sweet dog, I promise.’

The neighbour flinched. ‘They bite.’

‘This one doesn’t.’ He lifted her up and she licked his face. ‘See?’

The neighbour still looked wary.

‘Here.’ Luke took a dog biscuit from his pocket. ‘Put this on your hand and she’ll take it from you.’

The neighbour flinched. ‘She’ll bite me.’

‘She won’t. I’ll stake a thousand pounds on that. A million. Watch.’ He put the biscuit in his flattened palm and Baloo took it gently from his hand. ‘She won’t hurt you,’ he reassured the neighbour. Clearly the man had been badly hurt as a child, and nobody had tried to help him overcome his fear of dogs by introducing him to a gentle, kind, ordinary dog.

Maybe Baloo could help him overcome his fear of being hurt again.

The same fear that Luke had to face—except it was emotional rather than physical hurt. And, yes, the dog might just help him, too.

His
dog.

‘Try it,’ Luke said. ‘Can we come into your garden?’

‘I...’ The man shrugged helplessly.

‘Thank you,’ Luke said, and took Baloo into the garden. ‘Sorry, I should’ve introduced us properly. I’m Luke and this is Baloo.’

‘I’m Paul.’

‘Nice to meet you, Paul.’ Luke shook his hand. ‘Baloo, sit and shake hands with Paul.’

The dog dutifully sat and put one paw up.

Paul looked amazed.

‘Shake hands,’ Luke said softly.

Paul did so—and looked shocked and pleased and amazed, all at the same time.

‘Do you want to give her a biscuit to say “well done”?’ he asked.

Paul nodded. Luke took another biscuit from his pocket and handed it to Paul.

His hand shaking, Paul gave the dog the biscuit on the flat of his palm.

Baloo was duly gentle and polite as she took it.

‘It’s OK to stroke her,’ Luke said. ‘She won’t hurt you.’

Paul’s hand was unsteady, but he stroked the dog—then flinched as the dog turned her head and licked him. He stared at the dog, and then at Luke. ‘She licked me.’

‘She’s a good dog,’ Luke said. ‘My dog.’

*

Jess walked into her garden and frowned. What was her neighbour doing, out in the front garden? And why was he talking to Luke? What was Luke doing here?

‘What’s going on?’ she asked.

‘I’m introducing my dog to Paul,’ Luke said.

His dog? He was calling Baloo
his
dog?

And...since when had Luke been on first-name terms with her difficult neighbour?

‘While we were waiting for you. Baloo and I have things to say to you.’

‘She’s a nice dog,’ Paul said, shocking her further. ‘Listen to what they have to say. And I’m not going to call the landlord.’

‘What?’ This was totally surreal.

‘Will you, Jess? Listen to us?’ Luke asked.

‘Like you listened to me this morning, you mean?’ She couldn’t stop the caustic comment bursting out.

He grimaced. ‘I’m an idiot. I got things very, very wrong. I’m sorry I hurt you, and—’ He broke off and looked at Paul. ‘Sorry, do you mind if this is a private conversation?’

‘You’re in his garden,’ Jess said. ‘You can’t order the poor man to go indoors.’

‘I’m not ordering anyone.’ He sighed. ‘Jess, please, I need to talk to you—just give me five minutes.’

‘Five minutes,’ Paul echoed. ‘Or I
will
call the landlord—and I’ll tell him you have cats as well and they’re using the sofa as a scratching post.’

She stared at him. ‘You’ve fallen for the movie star charm as well, have you?’

‘Movie star? Who’s a movie star?
Him
?’ Paul asked, pointing with his thumb at Luke and scoffing. ‘He’s just a man with a dog.’

‘He’s right,’ Luke agreed. ‘I’m just an ordinary man with a dog.’

There was nothing ordinary about Luke, and she was damn sure he knew it. But the Luke McKenzie she’d fallen in love with was nothing like the cold, hard man who’d pushed her away this morning. Which was the real Luke? Could she trust that the Luke she’d fallen for was the real Luke?

‘And a gerbil,’ Paul added. ‘Which has eaten through some of the wiring.’

She put her hands up in the age-old sign of surrender. ‘OK. I give in. Five minutes.’

‘Shake hands, Baloo,’ Paul said, and shook hands with first Baloo and then with Luke. ‘Listen to him, Jess.’

‘That was surreal—what did you do to him?’ she asked Luke when they were inside her flat.

‘You were right about him being lonely—and he was savaged by a dog when he was little. Skin grafts,’ Luke said economically.

‘Poor man. If I’d realised...’

‘Sometimes,’ he said, ‘we keep our hurt inside and we don’t let it out when we should.’ He sighed. ‘I’m sorry, I’ve been horrendously unfair to you and I know I don’t deserve your time, but please hear us out.’

He fiddled with his phone and then put it on the table. Jess recognised the song from
The Jungle Book
as soon as it started playing, because she’d loved it as a child—‘Bare Necessities’. How appropriate for a dog named Baloo.

Baloo was on her hind legs, following Luke, almost like Jess remembered the bear doing in the animated film.

Then she sat down, doing something like the pat-a-cake routine Jess had taught Baloo, for the chorus of the song.

Was this Luke’s way of telling her that he loved her?

Could she believe him?

‘You’re our bare necessity,’ he said. ‘You’re all we want. All we need. And we both love you and want you in our lives.’

‘I...I don’t know what to say,’ she said.

‘Baloo’s taught me that everyone deserves a second chance. She’s my dog, most definitely. I’m giving her that second chance.’ He dragged in a breath. ‘Will you give me a second chance, Jess?’

‘What—so, next time there’s a story in the press that upsets you, you can dump me all over again?’ she asked.

‘No. I was wrong. I guess I’ve been really angry, this past year. I’ve damped it all down and told myself that I was over it all—and then today the story was everywhere, and all that anger stopped being buried. It forced its way out, and I took it out on the wrong person. I lashed out at you because...’ He wrinkled his nose. ‘Well, I guess because I feel close to you.’

She folded her arms and looked at him. No way was she letting him get away with trying to look cute. It wasn’t enough.

He grimaced. ‘I know just how lame that sounds. I haven’t got a script, or flowery words, or anything except what’s in my heart, right now, and I hope that’s going to be enough.’ He blew out a breath. ‘I love you, Jess. You make my world a better place. And I’m so sorry I overreacted this morning and took it out on you.’

‘Why did you do it?’ she asked.

‘Honest truth? Because I’m terrified that they might be right. That I’m not enough of a man.’

She frowned. ‘Just because you can’t father children, it doesn’t mean you’re not a man. Fleur was totally wrong about that. Or are you still in love with her?’

‘I’m not talking about Fleur. And I’m not in love with her. No way. I love
you
,’ he said. ‘I’m talking about how Hollywood sees things. What about all the actors and actresses fifty-odd years ago who had to pretend they were straight? If the truth had come out, they would never have worked again. And acting...that’s not just what I do, it’s who I am. If they don’t think I’m enough of a man, then that’s the end of me playing the romantic male lead with the slightly posh accent and floppy hair.’

‘You honestly think the directors would do that?’

‘It’s not necessarily the directors. It’s the marketing people. The people with the money.’ He shrugged. ‘I don’t have any control over that.’

‘Your fans would be pretty upset if you didn’t work again,’ she said. ‘And does it have to be Hollywood? Why can’t you make your own low-budget film here in England? Direct it yourself?’

‘That,’ he said, ‘never occurred to me.’ He looked thoughtful. ‘An indie film. If the script was right. Direct. Yes, I could.’

‘So the worst doesn’t
have
to be the worst.’

‘No,’ he admitted.

‘You’ve built up this huge fear of losing your career—like my neighbour being scared of dogs. You just need someone to show you that things aren’t as bad as you think they are,’ she said.

‘Maybe not in career terms, but the rest of my life’s pretty much a train wreck at the moment. I finally find someone I can be myself with—someone who makes me smile for all the right reasons, someone who makes me want to be a better man. And then I’m stupid enough to let her go. Can you forgive me, Jess? Can we wipe the slate clean and start again?’

‘You really want to be with me?’

‘I really want to be with you,’ he said. ‘But sometimes I can be a real idiot. I can’t necessarily offer you an easy time. I can’t give you children. I have to go where my work is, and the location isn’t always in England. And, any time we have a fight, there’s a good chance it’ll be splashed right across the press, because that’s the kind of garbage they thrive on.’

She looked thoughtful. ‘OK. Those are the cons. And the pros?’

He frowned. ‘Pros?’

‘If you’re doing a risk assessment, there are always good points as well as bad,’ she said.

*

She was going to listen to him. Maybe give him that second chance, if he was honest with her and kept nothing else back.

Luke’s heart felt as if it had swollen to twice its normal size. He knew it was anatomically impossible, but he could still feel the hope blooming out, filling him.

‘Good points. OK. I’ve got a nice view from my living room and great walks on my doorstep. I live with the best dog in the world—a dog who can dance with you if you’re feeling down, and who seems to be developing a bit of a bossy streak and tells you what to do.’ He smiled at her. ‘And I love you. I hope that counts for something.’

‘It counts,’ she said. ‘OK. The pros all work for me. Back to the cons.’

Where it could all go wrong. But he knew that they needed to sort this out.

‘You’re an idiot—agreed, and we can work on that. Life isn’t easy—well, that’s true whether you’re a movie star or not. Children...’ She spread her hands. ‘Yes. I do want children. But this is the twenty-first century. We have options. We can foster, we can adopt, we can try IVF—if it’s what we both want, we’ll find a way to make it work.’ She frowned. ‘You don’t work all the time in England. OK. Sometimes I can be with you on location, sometimes I’ll be here with Baloo, and there’s always the phone and Skype when we’re apart. The world’s a much smaller place now, so you working away isn’t that big a deal. And the press...’ She sighed. ‘I guess we’ll just have to put up with that. As long as we know the truth and the people who matter to us know the truth, and we talk about things instead of jumping to conclusions or going off in a strop, that’s enough.’

Thank God.

She was going to let him be enough for her.

He dropped to one knee. ‘Jess Greenacre, despite the fact that I’m an idiot, I’m prepared to work on it. I love you. Will you marry me and spend your life with me—me and you and a dog named Baloo?’ He smacked a palm to his forehead. ‘I’m supposed to have a ring when I do this. I told you I was an idiot.’

‘Not an idiot. Maybe just a little under-rehearsed.’ But she was laughing as she dropped to her knees to meet him. ‘Luke McKenzie—I love you, too, and yes, I’ll marry you.’

And Baloo put her paws up as if to echo both of them.

I love you.

*

Keep reading for an excerpt from HER SOLDIER PROTECTOR by Soraya Lane.

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