Before You: Standalone Contemporary Romance (17 page)

“I’m sorry,” I said, running my fingers up the long stem of my own glass. I pulled the slice of lime off the rim and broke it in half. “I was just going through some stuff, and I was a mess. Dave was trying to protect me from the big bad world.”

“I thought maybe you were angry with me for flirting with André.”

I placed the broken lime on my napkin and dried my fingertips. “Why would I be angry with you?”

“Because the last time I saw you, I was trying pretty hard for him. Jasper said you got really drunk, and André was the one who took you home. He said he was pretty sure you two were together.”

I took a sip of my Cosmo then licked my lips. “It’s complicated. Well, it was complicated, and it probably still is. We’re trying to figure things out.”

“You should have told me. I never would have looked at him if I’d known.”

“We didn’t want anyone to know. We were kind of hoping the feelings would just go away. But they didn’t and...and I kind of had a breakdown.” I glanced over at her. “I’ve never been very good at relationships.”

“A breakdown? What do you mean? What happened?”

That’s when I told her about my parents. She recalled the incident and was shocked that I was the girl from the papers. She’d had no idea as I’d never spoken about anyone except Dave before now. I’d kept everything hidden – my past, my feelings, my pain – this was the first time I’d told someone willingly, and while I was vague on the details, I was proud of myself for saying it without that gripping pain in my chest. The trick was focusing on something else while I talked. It helped.

“I’ve been pretending to be OK for so long and having such strong feelings for André on top of hearing the sound of gun shots in Dave’s recording caused everything to come flooding back in one hit. Since then, I’ve been trying to get my head straight, as well as work out what’s going on between André and me. It’s a long process, but we’re trying a new therapy technique.” I shrugged. “It’s just going to take time, I suppose.”

Her face looked stricken. “I’m so sorry, Willa,” she whispered. “I...Honestly, I suspected there was something going on with your parents, but I never realized...I’m just so sorry. If there’s ever anything...”

I placed my hands on hers and cut her off. “I’ll ask. I promise. And I really am sorry for cutting you out. It’s always been hard for me to talk about.”

She leaned from her chair to mine and gave me a hug. “Well, I wouldn’t be much of a friend if I stomped my feet about it. Just know I’m always here for you. Anything you need.”

“Thank you,” I said, wiping at my eyes as we separated.

She was doing the same, and we both laughed momentarily. “I think the next one should be on me,” she said, raising her hand to the bartender, and when he placed the new drinks in front of us, she turned to me with a smile. “So, tell me all about André. Is he bossy like I thought he’d be?”

An unstoppable grin pulled at the corner of my mouth. “He’s everything anyone ever thought he would be and more. Honestly, Milly, I have
never
been with a guy like him before, he’s just...”

“Sounds like you’re in love,” Milly smiled.

As I looked at her, I felt my cheeks heat, and I reached up and touched one, feeling the warmth beneath my hand. “It’s crazy to think, but yeah, I’m pretty sure I am.”

“Well then, you’ll have to bring him out on Friday night and officially introduce him to everyone.”

“I can’t. He’s in Germany right now. But I will when he comes back. I just need to try and get Dave to come around to the idea of me dating him first.”

“He’s against it?”

I nodded. “He’s just being protective.”

Grinning, Milly took a sip of her new drink then set it down and shifted it via its base.

“What is it?” I asked.

She shook her head. “It’s nothing.”

“No it’s not. Spill.”

Her expression spoke of some sort of lurid thoughts. “I suppose I was just thinking that I wouldn’t mind distracting Dave for you, I mean, if that didn’t bother you of course.”

“You like Dave?”

Even in the dim lighting of the bar I could see her blush. “Well, I tried to see you quite a few times, and I called to check on you. So, we...talked – a lot.”

A surprised grin spread across my face. “Are you saying something is going on between you and my brother?”

She shook her head and waved the idea away with her hand. “No. Well, not yet anyway. But...there’s a...spark? If you think it’s a bad idea, I’ll totally back off. I mean, I’m not trying to be desperate here and just jump from liking André to Dave. As soon as I saw the way you were looking at André that night we all went out, was enough for me to know to back off. And well, Dave is really hot and really nice to talk to. This feeling has kind of been building up for a while.”

I took her hands in mine and smiled. “I love that there’s a spark between you and my brother.”

She let out a relieved sigh. “You do?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I do.”

***

“I
s there something you want to tell me?” I asked Dave when I got home later that night.

He frowned and looked up from the pile of electrical parts that were on the counter in front of him. “I ate the last of the chicken in the fridge?”

Stopping in front of him, I placed my hands on my hips. “No. But seriously? You ate all that?” There were almost two adult sized portions worth of chicken salad in there. I’d hoped to take some to work on sandwiches during the week...I shook my head and tried to get my mind back on track. “What I’m talking about are phone calls and visits from a certain Latino woman I’m friends with.”

He tightened a screw then picked up a set of pliers. “You mean your friend Milagros? What about her?” He wasn’t meeting my eyes.

“You’ve been in contact with her quite a bit these past couple of months.”

He glanced up. “She wanted to know if you were OK. I gave her my cell so she didn’t keep calling you.”

“And she visited a few times as well?”

He stopped what he was doing and placed his tools on the counter with a sigh. “What did she tell you?”

I shrugged. “Not much. But, she did say to invite you out to
Splinters
on Friday night. You interested?”

“Depends. Are you going to be pissed with me if I do?”

“Depends on if you’re planning on fucking her then dumping her. Do you think I should protect her from you the way you’re trying to protect me from André.”

He picked up his tools and began working again. “Probably.”

I let out a sigh. “She’s a big girl, Dave. She can handle whatever comes her way. And for some strange reason that I’ll never understand, she seems to like you. So go. Fuck her. Fall in love. Do whatever it is you want to do. Just be honest about it, and don’t lead her on.”

––––––––

“A
ndré!” I couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across my face as I saw him walking up the ramp at LAX. I leaned over the railing and waved down at him. I was giddy with excitement seeing him after almost two weeks.

He grinned and waved in return, and I could see that sparkle in his eye that always meant he was planning something. My insides clenched tight, hoping his plans aligned with mine and included the two of us, a bed, and no one else.

Dave would be out of the house – he had started dating Milly – and was unlikely to return. I’d informed him that I planned to bring André back, pointed out that it was my house too, and that I didn’t throw a fit when he wanted me to move André in there in the first place, and he eventually conceded. I wondered if the fact he was seeing Milly had anything to do with him mellowing out, but I’d like to think that he’d come to understand that André and my feelings weren’t going to change any time soon.

I pushed my way through the crowd that was waiting to pick up their own loved ones, and almost knocked over a driver with a whiteboard in his hands. “I’m so sorry,” I told him, still grinning as I stopped to steady him. Then, with my heart high in my chest, I turned to go to André, but instead, turned into a wall of solid muscle, clad in a dark cotton T-shirt that smelled much like the one I’d been sleeping in.

“André,” I gasped, jumping up as he caught me in his arms and kissed me as though nothing else mattered.

After our time apart, I didn’t was the kiss to end. We’d spoken only twice in the time he was away, once after he’d seen his mother’s grave and needed the quiet comfort of being connected to me, and again the day before to let me know he was returning home. Having him in my arms felt as close to heaven as I was ever going to get.

“I have never missed anyone the way I missed you,” he said when we finally came up for air. He looked down into my eyes and ran his hand over the length of my hair as the crowd moved around us. His delicious accent curled around the words and lit up the blood in my veins.

I’d missed him too.

“I’m glad,” I said with a smile, just before he slung his arm around my shoulders and held me tight to his side as he hitched his bag onto his back.

“Let’s get out of here,” he said.

“Gladly.”

***

“H
ow was it?” I asked, once we’d gotten on the road, and he was sitting beside me, his hand resting on my thigh as I drove.

“Exhausting. But good. Visiting her grave was hard, but seeing the family was great. I stayed with Oma, who is my mother’s mother, and she called every family member far and wide to come and see me before I left.”

“Sounds like there was a lot of love there,” I mused.

“There was. I can understand why my mother wanted to go back there. It’s so different to the States. The people are different. The culture is different.”

“Your accent sounds thicker,” I commented, feeling a slight tug in my stomach at his last comment. Did that mean that he might want to go back there too? I forced the concern to the back of my mind, but hoped that it wouldn’t become an issue.

He grinned. “That’s funny. They all think I sound American.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised.

He shrugged. “My accent is mixed, I suppose.”

“Well, I missed that accent of yours. I missed everything about you, actually.”

He glanced at me. “Even my moods?”

I laughed. “What moods? I think you’re forgetting who you’re talking to – I am the mood queen.”

Laughing, he gave my thigh a squeeze. “I love your moods,” he said, and butterflies began to dance in my stomach.

Love...

***

W
e talked and laughed the rest of the way home, never running out of things to say, but also taking quiet moments to just enjoy having the other by our side. We had been together in some capacity or another almost every day since we’d met and, two weeks was
so long
. His hand on my thigh was driving me a little wild, especially when he went quiet and it started moving up and down, lifting my dress just enough so that his fingers were touching my skin. I almost missed the change of the light.

“Dave’s out for the night,” I said, the moment I cut the engine after pulling into the drive.

“He’s not going to show up and punch me again?” he asked, leaning forward and looking up at the house.

“No. We talked. The room is yours again. He won’t cause any problems.”

His eyes swept back to meet mine then lowered, raking over my body in a way that made me feel as though he was touching me.

“Then we should go inside.”

My breathing increased as we locked eyes, and I saw the level of hunger in his. My insides flipped about excitedly.

“We should.” My voice practically just a breath as we watched each other like hunter and prey. I was the prey, and the moment I opened my door, he sprang to action and we both raced up to the door, my hands practically shaking with the desperation to get the front door open.

André’s large hand covered mine and he took over the lock, swinging the door open and sweeping me up in his arms as he kicked it closed.

My need for him took over, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his mouth, my thighs around his waist as he kissed me back and moved toward the stairs. I let out a whimper, and he pressed my body against the wall, his thigh supporting my weight as his hand went under my dress and gripped the flesh at my hip.

“Every time I managed to sleep, all I could dream about was you,” he growled, as his lips found my throat and sucked gently. He pushed his hips forward, and I felt his hard length pressed against me. “I need to fuck you, Willa. I need to fuck you first, and then we can slow down and do this right. Then we can make love.”

I had never wanted to be fucked more in my life.

I rocked my hips against him. “Fuck me, André. Fuck me. Hard.”

His eyes met mine for a beat then he let out a growl that proceeded his mouth crashing against mine. Our hands moved between us, getting his jeans open and pushing my underwear out of the way. I heard a tear of fabric. It only served to excite me more as immediately after, he was pushing inside me, filling me, fucking me against the wall as if I was the only thing on this earth that could satisfy him.

We were fucking. But it wasn’t about the release. It was about our primal need to be with each other. Even in the beginning, I think it had always been this way. We were always something more.

“Oh god, André,” I called out as my insides clenched then exploded around him as I clung to him, my fingers digging into his shoulders as he thrust twice more then released inside me with a groan, whispering my name, “Willa”.

***

S
weaty limbs. Tangled sheets. Take out boxes of Chinese food, passed between us, eaten without clothes.

It was my idea of a perfect reunion. I didn’t want him to go anywhere ever again. But, at the same time, I knew that we were simply counting down days until he would leave. Such was the nature of his industry. I would get spoiled with his time then he would leave and I’d fret for months until his return, sometimes not hearing from him in weeks. I’d experienced it with Dave, but that didn’t make the idea any easier to digest. This situation was completely different.

André and I were together. I was in love. And I was fairly sure that André was too. All the rules had been broken, and we had quickly become each other’s worlds.