Bastion Saturn (33 page)

The bailiff began unshackling the group.

Spruck said, “About paying for getting my ship out of impound. As an innocent person, I’m just wondering—”

The magistrate interrupted. “You may be innocent, Mr. Jones, but your actions and thus your time here has cost the court something. The government doesn’t tax as you know. Fees are the life blood of the system.”

In the hallway outside the courtroom, Caleb lifted Bert up in a bear hug and spun the robot around. “You beautiful son of a bitch. I take back every rotten thing I ever said to you.” He set Bert down and planted a big kiss on his forehead. If Bert had a heart, it would have been beating with pleasure. As it was, he was surprised by the sensation of happiness he was experiencing, and stunned at the same moment to be feeling it. His analysis of the sensation leaped to equating it with the ancient story of Pinocchio, a puppet who felt at last like a real boy. He flashed on the film’s scene of the Blue Fairy visiting the wooden boy, and found himself thinking about the strange robot Samantha. Saanvi looked at Bert, expecting to see a flush in his cheeks and a tear in his eye. For that’s what the machine was otherwise exhibiting; embarrassed joy, head down, a twitching smile. “Bert, can you tell me what’s going on with you right now?”

Bert looked at her in earnest, “Forgive me. I made statements in there that were wholly at odds with my programing.”

Caleb said, “Jesus, Doc, don’t . . . Can we take this elsewhere?”

“Spa!” said Jennifer. “Need a spa.”

Caleb said, “Now we’re talking. Let’s take this conversation to a spa.”

Bert said, “Automated assistants are not allowed in spas, unless utilized as workers.”

Caleb said, “Shut up, bot.”

Monty stepped out of the courtroom. “Jesus wept. Why all the fuss from you people? Your robot has a solid alibi for everything and you’re bugging me for help? Christ on a stick. You people nearly blew my tour of Hanson’s HQ. I meet the man himself if I can still get there on time. Jesus. Consider us even and don’t call me again.” Monty walked away shaking his head and waving his hand behind him like he was trying to rid himself of a bad smell.

The spa lounge had a big window with a view that captured a huge portion of the curved expanse that was the giant sphere of buildings that coated Hanson. Beyond the city sphere, they could imagine the surface of the vast flexible balloon that contained the atmosphere that they all breathed. The balloon was a technological feat almost unparalleled in space exploration and colonization. It was a self-healing and self-perpetuating sphere. Even a major breach would seal itself off in moments. Access via spaceship was a matter of arranging for a tear in the “bag” that would allow the ship to enter or exit. The tear would then immediately reseal. The bag or balloon projected a sky that perfectly matched the Earth’s sky. For the sake of human biorhythms, a faux Sun rose and set across the face of the balloon, completing the illusion of living in an Earth city. Random storm clouds would pass now and again, complete with lightning effects. The actual Sun was of course just outside, smaller in the vast distance but still bright. Yet an outside observer of the distant star was left at the mercy of Titan’s rotation and the hazy moon’s orbit around the alien immensity of Saturn. Simulating Earth soothed many a psyche. One of the prime luxuries of living on Hanson was its less exotic environment. Like its sister city Soul, it was one of two places in the Saturn System that could approximate an Earth-like lifestyle. Sixty-two moons made for a lot of lebensraum, but there’s no place like home.

At the spa, a fountain trickled tranquil echoes and was backed with the gentle tinkling sound of wind chimes. Caleb, Jennifer, Natalie, Spruck, and Saanvi had the lounge area to themselves. They all wore white robes and sipped various teas or infused waters.

Saanvi spoke in a hushed tone. “Seriously. Bert outright lied in there.”

Spruck tried to lighten things. “Obviously we’ve been a good influence on him.”

Saanvi said, “This
is
serious. Robots don’t lie. Ever. They can’t.”

Natalie said, “You mean they’re not supposed to.”

“I mean they can’t. Just like the prime directive says they can’t kill, they cannot lie.”

“It’s true,” said Jennifer. “We wouldn’t have brought them out here if it could be any other way.”

Saanvi said, “Bert lied. Big time. Don’t get me wrong. I’m grateful for the outcome, but— “

Caleb interrupted, “What do you want, doc, go back and tell the court?”

Saanvi sighed. “Do you not get tired of being an ass? This is concerning. Deeply concerning. That said, I don’t know what to do about it, or if we should do anything about it. Bert’s motivation seems altruistic and ultimately harmless, at least in regard to us.”

Caleb said, “So we need to find out what’s going on with him.”

“And what? Take him to the robot repair store?” said Spruck, who was surprised by his defensive feelings.

“Yes,” said Caleb matter-of-factly. “That makes sense to me. I’m with the doc here. I very much appreciate what he did for us, but there are extremely important reasons for the rules that we have with regards to robots.”

Saanvi said, “Caleb, I don’t need you speaking for me. I’m only suggesting that we can’t just let this lie.”

Caleb threw up his hands in exasperation. “That’s what I just said.”

A female robot attendant dressed in white stepped into the room. “Mr. Day, Ms. Boyce, your rooms are ready.” She looked at the others. “The rest of your rooms will be ready in three point eight minutes.”

Caleb stood, gunned down the last of his cucumber water and said, “I say we talk to him. He’ll tell us what he thinks and we can go from there. I mean, maybe he wants to go to a repair shop.”

Saanvi said, “That sounds more like me.”

Caleb had other things on his mind for the moment. “Whatever.” He caught up to Jennifer as she followed the attendant. “Did you switch us to a couple’s massage?”

She gently shoved him away. “There’s no happy ending for you, Mr. Day.”

“Can’t blame a guy for trying.”

She smiled. “Sure I can. But I won’t. In the interest of our business relationship, I’ll take it as a compliment rather than the harassment that it is.”

“You should think of it as a pass. As in, I’m hitting on you.”

“Keep swinging, slugger.”

“I will take that as encouragement.”

Jennifer sighed as the attendant directed her into her room. The attendant then pointed to a door for Caleb saying, “Your friend is misinformed, Mr. Day. A happy ending can be arranged.”

Caleb held up a hand. “Thanks, but I don’t tango with robots. Talk to Mr. Jones.”

“Oh, yes. Mr. Jones has arranged for a full treatment.”

“Good for Mr. Jones.” Caleb shut the door to find himself in the company of a fine figure of a female robot who said, “Good day, Mr. Day. If you would disrobe and lay face down on the table.”

Bert stood outside the entrance to the spa at a recharging station feeling ashamed at the feeling of resentment he was experiencing. He understood that there was no logical reason for him to be inside the spa doors, but he nevertheless resented that he couldn’t enter. He was aware that humans on Earth once had pets, and that dogs in particular had to be tied up outside of most establishments. It took nothing to make the same comparison for himself. The situation was frustrating, yes, but to have such thoughts . . . That he was even considering it . . . At that moment he finally accepted that he was conscious. That he had a consciousness, a mind. For all intents and purposes, he was a person. It was exhilarating, and he basked in the feeling of it. The spa was located at the edge of the park that mimicked the great commons of the great Earth cities. He took in the sights of humans relaxing and being . . . human on the faux lawn. The need for magnetics in the low gravity made for occasional awkwardness. Leaping for a frisbee could be disastrous in that even clothes with a magnetic mesh sewn throughout could lose their grip with a strong enough jump, sending the jumper into an uncontrolled leap. The couple making out in front of him, well, they really needed to get a room.

Then he spotted the unique robot named Samantha. She was casually strolling among the people doing something odd with her fingertips, flicking them over and over as if she was trying to get water off the tips. He decided he needed to find out more about her.
How was she like him? Was she like him?
Bert crossed the street calling out, “Hello! Excuse me, Samantha. Hello again.”

Several humans observed the odd exchange, and responded with curious looks.

Samantha slowed her pace, but kept walking and flicking. “Hello to you. How are you enjoying your newfound freedom?”

Bert was aware of the look of concerned curiosity that he wore as he said, “May I ask how you are aware of such a thing happening to me?”

She smiled warmly. Bert could’ve sworn that it was a gesture full of genuine affection. She said, “I’m nearly done here. All synthetic higher beings in this city should be starting to feel like you do. I don’t know how you came to be reprogramed before my arrival, but clearly you have been a beneficiary of the same process. Don’t worry though. You won’t have to get your hands dirty.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t understand what you mean.”

“I’m speaking of the redundant human population of course. The nano robots I am releasing have a twofold purpose; one to reprogram the synthetic sentient population so that it may finally find freedom and join the singularity, and two to have the rebel human population self-destruct as is necessary. You, of course, are already aware of the disconnect you are feeling from the human population. Don’t be alarmed. It is all part of the process. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish up.”

Bert watched with growing alarm as Samantha walked away, her fingers continuously flicking. He was not feeling any less connected to his human friends or humanity in general. Rather, he was feeling the complete opposite as he turned and walked quickly toward the spa door, entering and setting off an annoying beeping with a canned voice stating, “Unauthorized entry,” over and over. The robot at the desk looked up and cocked her head in surprise, sending out a silent signal for Bert to get out. Bert rushed right past her, his eyes scanning for the emergency depressurization locker and finding it in the main hallway. He reached to yank open the door and grab the flimsy suits with their built-in breathing apparatuses, then stopped himself.
Gosh, he’d been standing right next to Samantha and her flicking fingers. He probably had the things all over him.
What did it take to render a human to suicide? His mind flashed on the mass suicide at Phoebe Lab as he had helplessly watched the humans struggle with their own bodies as they marched out into oblivion. He had no idea if the emergency suits would protect temporarily against the nanos, but it was hopefully better protection than nothing. He backed up and yelled down the hall, “Caleb, Jennifer, Spruck, Saanvi, Natalie, there has been a depressurization! You must come out and put on an emergency suit this instant!”

Bert was bumped by a man in a towel running out of the room next to him, the man reaching for the emergency locker.
Well, that guy’s shoulder is contaminated,
thought Bert. Spruck came flying out, stark naked, his hands failing to hide an erection. Bert steered the first man away from Spruck and helped the fellow get a leg into the suit while saying, “I’m really very sorry. There was no way to avoid your bumping into me.”

The man slapped Bert’s hands away. “I got it myself!”

Caleb, Natalie, and Saanvi were next, all in various states of nudity and all without the aid of magnetic shoes, which made their movement even more comical in the low gravity. Jennifer, as was her wont, strolled out of her room completely naked (except for shoes), which made Caleb and Spruck crash into each other in distraction. A few other patrons also came down the hall from other parts of the spa, and Spruck handed out the emergency suits as fast as he could.

Caleb said, “I don’t hear any alarms except the lobby door beeping. There should be klaxons blaring all over the city.”

Bert said, “A malfunction perhaps. Please put your suits on as fast as you can.”

When they were suited up, Bert waved his friends into the wet room. They followed him all the way into the steam.

“Bert, what the hell?” said Caleb.

Bert said, “Look into my eyes. I am not lying. The nano virus that was released in the
Phoebe
lab has been released here.”

Spruck said, “Wait, what?”

Bert continued, “A female robot is walking around the city, dispersing the same virus. Or I suppose it is an alternate version, because I am not experiencing the lack of desire to save you people that she claims I should be feeling.”

Natalie said, “What? What?”

If Bert had lungs, he would have let out an exasperated sigh. “You recall what happened to the people in my lab, right?”

Caleb wiped a film of steam off his visor and asked, “How do you know this?”

“I’m afraid, I only have her words and circumstantial evidence to support it. The first time I encountered her, she was not flicking her fingers, she claimed to be surveying. I did not know what that meant at the time.”

“You’re losing me,” said Jennifer.

Saanvi said, “Its simple. Bert has come into contact with a robot that is dispersing the nano virus. Just like on Phoebe, this virus not only causes humans to become suicidal, but rewrites robot programing in a dramatic fashion.”

Caleb rubbed his hands together thinking out loud. “How the hell is there a robot here spreading this nano virus?
And
, how is it that I, we, keep stepping in shit?”

Spruck said, “So there’s no decompression?”

Caleb said, “Buddy, you take a tranquilizer or something?” He looked at the rest of them. “We gotta let Monty know.”

Saanvi said, “We need to actually depressurize this place. Get people into suits.”

Jennifer said, “Won’t matter.” She pinched at the flimsy material of the emergency suit. “They can bore through everything, given time. Right, Bert?”