Barred (22 page)

“Okay, well I just came to tell you that I’m leaving to go back to the doctor.  I should be back in about an hour.  Harper is in the classroom with the four and five-year-olds, Macy is in the room with the one and under and Kelly has the two and three-year-olds.” 

“Thanks, call me when you leave.” 

“Sure thing.  Now quit worrying and work on the paychecks.  They go out tomorrow.”  Sarah gives her a stern look as she gets up and walks out of the room.  Her sister always made sure she stayed on top of things, but today just wasn’t going the way she’d planned.  Tonight was going to be a tough night with everything on her mind.  She prayed Emerson came with Jonathon tonight to make having this conversation a lot easier.  She just wasn’t sure if it was right to let both of them settle for her. 

Kimberly opens the door at exactly seven.  Her eyes instantly travel over Jonathon’s body as she takes in his fitted cream button up tucked into his gray slacks.  The man could pull off business just as well as he could rock his jeans.  Her cheeks turn a dark shade of crimson as he eyes her body in the sweater dress she chose for dinner.  It was a dark brown dress from Victoria Secret that clung to her and matched the tan boots she always wanted to wear. 

“You look beautiful,” he says with a smile.

“You don’t look so bad yourself,” she says.

“Emerson is going to meet us at the restaurant, if that’s okay with you,” he says a little unsure. He knew he’d asked her to dinner but when Emerson found out, he really wanted to go.

“Actually, that works perfectly.  Where are we going?”

“A little seafood place downtown,” he replies, guiding her to his car with his hand at the small of her back.  She relishes in the feel of his hand there because after tonight she isn’t so sure it will ever touch her again.  She takes a deep breath as she settles into the seat of his car.  Tonight may be the greatest achievement of her life, or maybe the biggest mistake of her life. 

Jonathon walks around the front of the car, opens the door and slides behind the wheel.  “Why do I get the feeling that this is the calm before the storm?” 

“I wish I could tell you the answer to that baby,” Kimberly says honestly.  In a way she feels the same way, one shoe has dropped.  Now, she was just patiently waiting on the next.  She sits with her hands in her lap trying to figure out how this conversation will go with both of them.  Not really sure how to explain or express how she is feeing.

“Wanna talk about what’s going on babe?”  Jonathon questions while he reaches over the armrest and wraps his fingers in hers. 

“I just have a lot to say…” she whispers as their fingers intertwine. She knows that Jonathon wants to be with her, but after tonight will love withstand everything? That, she isn’t so sure of.

“About?”

“Everything,” she says softly.

Jonathon doesn’t respond, he just clings to the hand he’s holding.  Afraid that if he lets it go, he may never get to hold it again.  He knew he shouldn’t have told her about Adrian, there was a chance that the baby wasn’t even his.  He told her because what if it was and in five months she found out he’d known for so long already.  She would never forgive him, at least for now she might be able to.  They pull up to the restaurant off Perkins as Kimberly takes her hand from his.  He walks around the car opening her door for her as she wipes her now sweaty palms on her sweater. 

“Emerson should be inside already,” Jonathon says unsurely as she wraps her arm through his elbow.  Tonight may be the last night she gets to touch him and by God she was going to do it as much as she could. 

“Okay,” she says quietly.  Jonathon hated seeing her so unsure of herself.  It wasn’t a trait he saw in her very often.  Hell, the woman that walked in their office that first night, was even sure that she would be accepted.  He led her to the hostess. 

“Hello Mr. Phillips.  Ms. Weston,” the girl with the name tag of Haley said as they entered.  “Mr. Stanley has a table in the back.  Shall I escort you to your table?” 

“Yes, please.”

“Right this way.”  She says, and Kimberly can’t help but watch her as she goes.  The girl was very well mannered and dressed to perfection in a black fitted dress that hugged her curves well and the ensemble was pulled together with a pair of heels. 

Kimberly takes a deep breath when her eyes lock with Emerson’s.  Immediately, tears sting her eyes and threaten to fall when she sees him in a white dress shirt with black slacks. His green eyes burning into hers as he stands.

“Excuse me,” Kimberly says before running to the restroom, leaving both Jonathon and Emerson standing there wondering what the hell just happened.  She opens the door to the bathroom, walking toward the mirror, begging her tears to stay where they are.  “It’s just a conversation, you could be making something out of nothing,” she tells her reflection. 

“What the hell just happened?” Emerson booms. 

“Fuck if I know. She said she had a lot to talk about,” Jonathon retorts. “Why you think it’s something I’ve done is beyond me.”

“Because, none of this shit started until you said something about knocking someone up,” he spits out vehemently. “Here she comes. Try not to make her cry.

“Fucker, she didn’t cry until she saw you.” 

“I’m sorry, I needed a moment,” Kimberly says quietly as they all have a seat. She sits at the table between the two men who hold her happiness in the palm of their hands. “I want to say a few things, and I would like to say them all before you try to interrupt.”

“Okay,” the both say in unison.

“I know about Jonathon’s situation, and in light of that, it brought up something in my head and I need to express it.” Kimberly breathes out, reaching for her wine glass. Her hands shaking as she drags the class to her lips and takes a sip.

“Baby, you’re starting to scare me,” Emerson says as he watches her, feeling more helpless than he has in years. 

“I just want to say a few things, no need to be scared,” she tries to give them a reassuring smile but even she knows it falls short. “I realized today that you both should have a woman who can love you and only you. A woman to give you each children, a woman that will share your bed with you every night. I also realized I am jealous of this woman that may be caring your child, because I wanted to be her.” Kimberly says looking at Jonathon at the end of the sentence. “I realized I am being selfish asking you both to be involved in a relationship with me when you may not be able to have a normal one. Emerson, you need a girlfriend you can flaunt in public. One that can hold your hand, kiss you, and shower you with affection. Not one who has to hide their relationship with you for fear of what the public would think.”

“Kimberly, I don’t want that. What I want is you,” he pleads as she holds her hand up to him to stop him from talking.

“I know, but how is that fair to you? It wouldn’t be fair for me to keep up my relationship with Jonathon either because it would just come between the two of you.”

“Okay, I’m interrupting now.” Jonathon growls.  “I don’t care what else you have to say because you are talking crazy.  There will be no leaving anyone.  Emerson and I both love you and want you, only you.  If you want a child, then damn it I’ll give you one.  Emerson would gladly give you one, hell if you want kids, we can be the next 19 kids and counting.  If it’s what you want baby, we will give it to you.” He runs his fingers through his hair as he looks at her begging her not to do what she has in her mind to do. 

“I just don’t see how it’s fair to him,” she points in Emerson’s direction.

“Well what do you want me to do Kimberly?  I don’t want anyone but you, if I didn’t have you, I would just be alone.  I couldn’t imagine not being with you, you have stolen my heart.  It belongs to you.  It would shatter if you walked away from me—there would be nothing left for me to love someone else with.” 

She immediately starts to cry as he says the words.  She should have never gotten involved with the two men because now, each of them would be hurt.  “I don’t want it to be the way it is, but I don’t think how we are, is fair to you, or you.  What happens if I do get pregnant?”

“Then we wait and find out who the father is when it’s born, but either way it won’t be unloved.  I love Jonathon like my brother; I would just be the uncle until I became a father.”

“If you’re worried about what people think Kimberly, we aren’t.” Jonathon butts in, giving his two cents.

“It could ruin your business.”

“We could move to New York or somewhere else.  We are still highly sought out attorneys.  We would make it anywhere we went.  I don’t care if people like us or not, all I care about, is at the end of the day, I’m happy and you’re happy,” Emerson says taking a deep breath.  He knew the minute he saw her, that something was wrong with her.  He wasn’t expecting this clusterfuck of a conversation though.  He figured it had to do with what Jonathon was dealing with and nothing to do with him.  Jonathon was right though, if it was a child she wanted, they wouldn’t deny her.  He’d never deny her anything—his heart was too invested to do that.  If she really thought that not being with either of them was better for all three of them, then he’d gracefully bow out, just to make her happy. 

“You’d relocate to make sure you both had your time with me?”

“Yes, I wouldn’t want you to ever feel like you weren’t what we wanted.  I would kiss you right now and not care about the repercussions.  I am the only person I have to answer too, if it ruins my business, that’s okay.  I have made my money and could live comfortable if I wanted too,” he says before taking a breath and looking her in the eyes.  “I love you, Kimberly.  I also have a high respect for Jonathon and I respect that he loves you too.  It comes with the territory of sharing a person, but luckily we have done it before and know how to handle it.”

“We both love you and would fight to have you stay with us,” Jonathon adds, grabbing her hand.

“What would people think if they knew the truth?”

“Are you really worried about what people will think? Are you worried they will think badly of you?” Jonathon asks sincerely. “Because if you are, and if someone did, I’d throat punch them,” he says with such fierceness, Kimberly laughs.

“You need to calm your tamper,” she says through a fit of giggles.

“His tamper?” Emerson questions.

“Yes, he’s throwing a tentram.”

“I think you have had enough wine,” Jonathon laughs as he picks her glass up, but she grabs the glass from his hand just as the food is sat in front of them.

“I have not. You are throwing a temper tantrum, and at the daycare we tell the kids they are tamper tentram’s. It’s an ongoing joke. I got my words mixed up once and Sarah will not let me live it down.”

“Oh, well I see now,” Emerson replies around a mouthful of steak.

“Okay then, so are we okay?” Jonathon asks with a look on his face that can only say he’s afraid the storm is not done passing.

“Yes, I love you both.  I want to be with you both, but I just don’t want one of you to feel left out.”

“Kimberly,” Emerson says, pulling her hand into his. “If either of us felt that way, we promise we would come to you about it. It wouldn’t be helping, because that is how relationships like these fail. We need to be open and honest with one another and that’s how we do that. By telling each other our feelings.”

“Truer words were never spoken,” Jonathon retorts, shoving his mouth full of shrimp. 

“Chew your food before you choke,” Emerson teases as Kimberly laughs. “Promise us you will talk to us before making decisions like this.”

“I promise,” she says as she tears into her seafood gumbo. 

“Kimberly, we wanted to ask you about something, while we were here.”

“What is it, Emerson?”

“Well, we don’t like you staying alone anymore. We were wondering if you might want to move into my home.”

“What about Jonathon?”

“He’d move in too if that’s what you wanted,” he says while Jonathon shakes his head.

“I want this relationship so I’m okay with that. We could sell my place and buy a vacation house somewhere for the money. When one of us needed to have a break with you, that could be where we go.”

“You two have really sat down and talked this through,” she says in awe.

“That’s because you’re a sure thing,” Emerson smiles, eating another bite of his steak.

“What he said,” Jonathon agrees before sipping on his wine.