Backstage Pass (7 page)

By the time Kerri came back, Jesse had already made his awkward departure. We didn’t bother making a plan of when we’d see each other next, and his tortured look haunted me all the way through the Chinese. Even Mr. Woo’s secret sauce did nothing to ease my discomfort.

Kerri popped the back half of her eggroll into her mouth. “So what happened?”

“Nothing. Seriously, we were on the couch—”

“Cuddled up like a pair of mittens.”

I snorted my Coke. “Mittens?”

She shrugged and stole one of my wontons. “Best I could come up with. I’ve never seen you cuddle like that.”

Warmth crept up my neck. “We weren’t cuddling.”

She lifted an eyebrow and didn’t even bother to respond.

“Okay. We were cuddling, but he was rubbing my shoulders.”

“Mmm-hmm.”

My palms still tingled. His toned legs were hot. I hadn’t expected that. I don’t know what I expected—clearly I’d never thought I’d be rubbing them. And based on what he was pressing into my backside, he thought some of my parts were hot too.

I glance up into Kerri’s intense stare. “What . . . else . . . happened? Ohmigod. Sasha!”

My blush intensified and she raced around the counter. “You did not. Did you guys make out
again?
”

I jammed a forkful of sweet ‘n sour chicken into my mouth and shook my head.

“You liar.” She pushed my shoulder and jammed her fists into her hips. “Tell me.”

I closed my eyes and gave my head the barest of nods.

“Why don’t you torture the guy already. After you made out did you remind him of the friend thing?”

Another tiny nod.

She tossed her head back and groaned. “You’re evil. Plain evil.”

I swallowed. “I thought it was the drugs at first, but I haven’t had any today.”

She glared. “That’s a shit excuse, Sasha.”

I dropped my forehead to the counter. “I know.”

Silence stretched between us. The clock above the fridge ticked away the seconds.

“Do you like him or are you just horny.”

My silence answered for me.

“So now what?”

I rolled my head back and forth in a helpless gesture.

Kerri stroked my hair. “Want to know what I think?”

“Not really—I mean, yes.”

My phone rang and I squeezed my eyes shut. But then I remembered that Jesse’d never called me. Later tonight I could expect a text.

Kerri slid my phone over and I stared at the number. It looked vaguely familiar. “Hello?”

“Sasha? Hey, it’s Dew,” came from the other end.

I avoided Kerri’s death stare. She wasn’t done talking about Jesse and deep in my belly I knew what her advice was going to be. I wasn’t ready yet.

Spinning around on the stool, I cradled the phone against my shoulder. “Hi.”

“Did all those signatures make your foot heal yet?”

I smiled. “Not yet.” Behind me, Kerri clattered plates against each other and crammed our Styrofoam containers back in the paper bag. It wasn’t possible for her to make more noise. I eased myself off the stool and hobbled toward the couch.

“That’s too bad. Hey, I wanted to see if you want to come to our game tomorrow.”

“I have labs until six.”

“That’s okay. The game doesn’t start until seven.”

Kerri slammed a cabinet door and I flinched.

“Okay, then I guess, yes.”

“Super. Can I pick you up?”

I hadn’t given much thought to how I was going to get around tomorrow. Kerri’s car was going to be mandatory. No way could I get myself around, and the walk to campus was a couple blocks. Tomorrow was our worst afternoon for coordination. “Sure, but can we meet at the chem lab parking lot?”

He paused. “Uh, sure. See you tomorrow?”

“Bye.” I hung up and leaned my head into the couch.

“Who was that?” Kerri jammed napkins into the trash.

“Like you don’t know. Are you going to the game to watch your rugby player tomorrow?”

She shook her head. “He hasn’t called.”

Nice
. Way to be an ass, Sash. “Oh. Well will you go with me?”

“Pretty sure Dew thinks that’s a date.”

“To a game? That he’s playing in? Doubt it.”

She pushed her stool in and leaned against the counter, keeping an entire room between us.

I sighed and closed my eyes. “Will you come over here and talk?”

Nothing moved on that side of the room.

“And bring pain medicine.”

That got her moving, but made me feel like an even bigger jerk. She tossed me the bottle and I barely opened my eyes before they cracked me in the nose.

“Thanks.” I swallowed the pills dry.

“Just give him a chance, Sasha.”

I closed my eyes. One of the pills was lodged on the left side of my throat. “Why? Why should I be the one to break my rules?”

“Because you
like
him, for one.”

“Or my drugged brain thinks he’s hot.”

“You know that’s not true.”

I squeezed my eyes and twisted my fingers in the hem of my shirt. “Which is why I need to go out with Dew more than any other reason.”

Kerri huffed.

I propped myself up on my elbows. “Are you mad?”

Swinging her bag over her shoulder, she shrugged. “More disappointed, I think. Jesse is great and you’re condemning him because he happens to be a super talented musician. That’s not a crime, Sasha. Not for the rest of us. I’m going home.”

I fell into the couch and threw my arm over my eyes. “Then you date him,” I said, giving up.

“He doesn’t want me.” The door closed softly behind her, echoing through an empty house.

Navigating through classes was worse than I’d imagined. Mondays were my heaviest days, and today was no exception. After a botched shower attempt, I gave up and rinsed my hair, then managed a pair of sweats and tee. My bag was nearly impossible to keep on and every time it slid off, I got off balance. Add four hundred students all going the opposite way and it was a wonder I hadn’t crushed a few kneecaps with my crutches.

By the time my chemistry lab rolled around, I was ready to cry.

I couldn’t wait to get home and crash on the couch. I hadn’t talked to Kerri all day, and Jesse didn’t text me last night either. Today, I’d been adrift alone.

Apparently everyone else had a shitty Monday too because I had the chem lab practically to myself. I’d done most of my work last week, so I wasn’t in a hurry to get everything finished. I had plenty of time, even if I took the whole lab.

My phone rang and I glanced at the clock. Wow. I’d totally lost track of time. It was after six.

“Hey, are you coming out?”

Oh!
I sagged back onto my stool. I’d completely forgotten about Dew’s game.
Shit
. I lowered my forehead to the counter. Clearly this outfit wasn’t going to work if he really thought tonight was a date. If possible, I looked even worse than yesterday.

On the other end of the line, Dew yelled at someone.

“Uh, yeah. I’m just finishing up. Be right out.”

“Great! We’re totally amped for this game. I’m glad you’ll be there when we crush them.”

“Yeah.” I tried to infuse some enthusiasm into my voice, but it fell flat.

Dew hung up and I groaned. My foot throbbed and I should totally be going home to put it up and reload on my meds until I passed out. I should have begged off.

Standing, I gathered my books and put away my testing rods. I had no idea how long rugby games lasted, but hopefully I could escape home by nine. My bag rammed me in the back and I shifted the contents, tossing me to the left. Maybe before the end of the week, I’d have the crutches figured out, or the genius to empty my bag. I winced and headed to the parking lot.

Dew sat in a blue Tacoma. Giant wheels and massive lift made me oh-so-eager to try climbing in. He hopped down and grabbed my bag. “Here, you’re gonna need a hand.”

I smiled. He smelled good and bounded around like an golden retriever. “Thanks.” We rounded the back of his truck and he lifted me onto the seat, then bounded away without shutting the door. I eyed the yawning gap between the ground and the door, then twisted my hand around the seatbelt and leaned over. My cast slipped and banged against the doorframe. By now, I’d become nearly immune to the throbbing pains. I bit my lip and yanked the door shut, barely getting my cast out of the way before it slammed.

Dew fired up the truck and tore out of the parking lot, barely noticing that I’d managed to not fall out. “We beat these guys last year, but they’ve added a couple new freshmen. Man I hope we spank them again.”

“Mmmhmm.”

Dew’s phone rang and he jammed it against his shoulder. “Yeah man. Almost there.” He tossed the phone on the dash and glanced at me with a sideways grin. “You okay if we park by the locker rooms and you walk around to the entrance?”

Was he for real? I lifted a crutch. “Uh, not exactly.”

He laughed and slapped his leg. “Oh, right.”

Cutting across three lanes of traffic, he made a wide right turn. I gripped the door handle to keep from tumbling across the seat and into his lap. My foot banged up into the heater vent. This better be a short game.

He screeched to a halt and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.

“No, I’ve got it.” Sarcasm dripped from my words.

“Oh geez.” He raced around, yanked my door, and set me down. “Come down to the locker room after, okay?”

Without waiting for a response, he bounded into the truck and tore away. I guess there were worse things than musicians.

I hobbled my way to the ticket booth, showed my student ID and eased through the gate. There weren’t a lot of participants since today was a pre-season game, so I snagged a chair at the top of the main landing. I wasn’t up to any more effort than was necessary.

Players took to the field and I had no idea how rugby was played, but I followed along with the crowd and tried to cheer and boo at the appropriate times. My foot throbbed, but I propped it on the empty row in front of me.

Thankfully the game ended and Dew’s team did, indeed, crush the visiting team. I was ready to go. He waved from the field and I made my way down the steps and toward the locker room. My phone had been suspiciously silent during the game and I wondered what Kerri was doing. And who she was with. Monday was our make-a-plan-for-the-week night and I always stayed at Kerri’s. Maybe that was aggravating the situation since I was here. I’d text her on the way home and see what she was up to.

Dew came out of the locker room freshly showered and buoyant again. I wondered if he ever chilled out completely. Six guys accompanied him and I recognized all of them from Jinnie’s. They gave me good-natured smiles and elbowed Dew.

After lots of high-fiving, Dew slung an arm around my shoulders and I wobbled. “Everyone’s going to Sam’s. You up for a quick drink?”

I shook my head. “Not tonight. I need to get home.”

His face fell. “I thought we were hanging out?”

“No. I watched the game, but my foot is killing me.”

“Oh. I’ve got drugs in—” he jerked a thumb toward the locker room.

“It’s okay. I just need to get off it.”

“Sam has a couch.”

He led me toward the truck, and I eased out from under his arm. “You go ahead. I’ll call Kerri.”

“No. I’ll take you. Let me just swing by there and tell him I’ll be back.”

He lifted me into the truck and fished a beer bottle out from a cooler in the back. “Want one?”

“No thanks.”

He shrugged and popped the top, then drove in the opposite direction of my house. I tapped out a text to Kerri. Three blocks from the stadium, he angled the truck in a driveway and hopped out. “You sure you don’t want to come in and put that foot up?”

I smiled and tried my best at politeness. “No. Maybe some other time.”

Kerri didn’t answer right away, so I twisted on the seat and put my foot up as best as I could. The throbbing lessened a bit.

More high fiving on the patio, and Dew slipped inside. I had a bad feeling I wasn’t going to see him anytime soon, but if I went in after him, I’d never get home. I checked my phone. Still nothing from Kerri. I could always try Axel. If Kerri didn’t respond in the next ten minutes, I would.

And there was always Jesse. But he didn’t have a car, and I wasn’t about to make him carry me all ten blocks back to my house. I dug through my bag and found my meds. All Dew had was beer, and these things were bad enough on their own, I didn’t need to add any alcohol. My throat was parched, but I managed to find a half-empty water bottle at the bottom of my bag. That helped.

Still nothing from Kerri.

I stared up and down the street. I was pretty sure I knew where I was, and there was no way I’d make it all the way home on my crutches—at least not with my bag.

Axel would come get me in a heartbeat, but he was still probably super clingy.
Come on, Kerri.

I glanced at the house. Dew laughed at something one of his teammates said and filled his cup from the keg again. Even if he did ever make it back to the truck, I wasn’t sure I wanted him behind the wheel.

Call me old fashioned.

I swiped my phone and got ready to call Axel.

Knuckles wrapped my window and I screeched. A familiar black hoodie stared up at me.

I rolled down the window.

“Need a lift?”

Relief flooded me. I didn’t even care it was Jesse who’d come to my rescue. “Yes! Oh please.”

He opened the door and slipped his hands beneath my arms and gently lowered me. “Can you stand or do I need to carry you?”

I must have hesitated too long, because he swung me up in his arms and strode to Kerri’s car. “Where’s Kerri?”

“Tell you in a sec.” He eased me into the back and raced back to Dew’s truck for the rest of my things.

Dew came out on the porch and lifted a hand. “Thanks man.”

Jesse waved back. “No prob.”

Boys are so lame.

Jesse stashed my crutches and bag in the back, then slipped in beside me. He leaned over to kiss my cheek, then froze and straightened. My pulse hammered and his look sucked. I didn’t want to be the bad guy.

I wanted him to kiss me.

And not on the cheek.

He busied himself with starting the car and I folded my hands in my lap.

“I was at Kerri’s house when you texted.”

My head jerked up.

“We met at the Redbox and she seemed down. Neither one of us had anything going on tonight.” He flipped the car around and eased out of the neighborhood. “I thought you’d be home too. I didn’t realize she wasn’t staying with you anymore.”

He was silent so long, I glanced sideways to gauge his attitude. The easygoing Jesse had vanished somewhere around the last stop sign.

I struggled for something to say. “Well, I’m glad you were there.”

His lips pressed together in a narrow line. “She’d been drinking, so we thought it would be better for me to come get you.” He flipped the turn signal on. Tonight he was being safety sam and it was kind of freaking me out. I liked the in-your-face balls-to-the-wall Jesse. I’d come to rely on that guy for laughs. If ever a moment needed a laugh, it was this one.

“I’ll take you home then take her car back.”

“That’s such a pain. I’m sorry.”

His head jerked up. “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I’m probably bringing you down. Dew seemed happy that they won.”

Ah. I could be so dense sometimes. In my defense—drugs. Surely I could blame them for this too.

“Yeah. He’s very into rugby.”

“I didn’t realize you were.”

I twisted in the seat and cupped his forearm. “I’m not.”

He braked in front of my house.

“I’m not, Jesse.”

Strain creased the corners of his eyes. I’d done this, and it made me feel awful. Kerri was right. I needed to give him a chance and stop making him pay for my mistakes in my past. He’d been nothing but good to me. From the very beginning. Tonight he’d gone out of his way to pick me up from what he thought was a date gone bad.

He fidgeted in his seat and a lump of awkward sat between us. “There’s a big concert tomorrow night. It’s basically a giant collection of rock bands.” He smirked. “I know that’s not your thing, but one of the bands I’ve idolized my whole life is coming. I thought, maybe if you heard them you’d understand why I’m so into music.”

My heart twisted. There was no way to easily explain the musician thing.

“We get a couple tickets and passes for playing.” His hands raced back and forth across the steering wheel. “You and Kerri should come. I can get another ticket for me somewhere else so you don’t even have to sit with me.”

I lay my hand on his forearm. He flinched. “Will you go with me?”

His gaze jerked to mine. “I can’t go as friends, Sasha. Please don’t ask me to. Take Kerri. You’ll have fun. Our band will be done by four—we have the first set—you won’t even have to watch us if you don’t want to.”

“Jesse.” My voice softened and I leaned closer, slipping my fingers to his chin. I tugged gently until he looked at me. “I’m not asking you to go as friends.”

He blanched, like I’d punched him, and his gaze rapidly flicked back and forth across my face. “Don’t tease me, Sasha. Not today, okay?”

I wet my lips and slipped my hand behind his neck. Tugging gently, I met him more than halfway. At the first touch of our lips, he jerked like I’d electrocuted him. I pressed closer, tasting the curve of his lips.

His hands gripped my shoulders and he held me a breath away. His lips moved against mine. “What are you doing?”

I slid my other hand across his chest. He shivered. I opened my eyes and stared into his questioning ones. “Asking you to not be friends.”

His fingers tightened on my shoulders. “I’m serious, Sasha. If you’re going to wake up in the morning and forget this, please get out of the car.”

I sighed and leaned back. “Fine.”

His face twisted and I grabbed his hand.

“But I need you to come in with me.” His chivalry wouldn’t let me walk to the house by myself, and I was counting on being a bit more convincing when I didn’t have a gearshift and armrest to maneuver over.

Before I could get my crutches and bag positioned, Jesse was around the car and helping me out. I bit back the smile. I needed to stay on my game if I was going to convince him I was being serious. His hands slid beneath my arms and I winced—only partially faking.

He took my bag and slipped it over his shoulder, then wound an arm behind my back. I moaned and leaned into him.