Backstage Pass (4 page)

“The doctor will be right in, hun.” The nurse bustled out and I let out a breath.

I couldn’t remember where I’d left off with these two. Jesse didn’t seem like he was in any big hurry to start the conversation again. He reversed the direction of the circles. I wiggled my leg, “Stop that.”

“What?”

“Stop touching me.”

He lifted his fingers away from my knee but didn’t take his hand off my leg. “Seriously, Jesse, we’re not dating—ever.”

“I know, I know, we’re just running buddies. I was massaging your leg.”

“That’s not a massage.”

“I’ll totally give you a good massage when we get home. This was just the precursor.”

I relaxed into the bed and let my eyes drift closed. Kerri’s phone chirped. I could almost see her smile from behind my lids.

“Now what’s Trey saying?” I asked.

“He just dropped roses off at the house and wants to know if I want to go to dinner with him tonight.”

Jesse’s fingers tightened on my leg. “Are you going to go?”

I opened one eye. Kerri shrugged. “I was kind of thinking about what you said. Maybe we should take a break for a while.”

I closed my eyes. Was she really going to do it?

“He kind of seems to have your number if all he has to do is text you and take you out for food and you forgive his jackassness.” I hated to admit it, but Jesse’s hard lining was full of things I’d wanted to say to her for a long time. I hadn’t because the one time I’d hinted at how I felt, she hadn’t spoken to me for a week. Two good things might come of this: getting rid of Jesse if he pissed Kerri off enough, or getting rid of Trey.

“I know.” She drew the word out like taffy.

“Do you want me to do it?” Jesse leaned around the bed, arm outstretched.

Kerri jerked her phone out of reach. “I can do it.”

“Go ahead, I’ll watch.”

Their playful banter confused me. In public and at parties, Kerri played Sorority Girl pretty well. In private, she was completely different, preferring to read, study, and solve the unsolvable math problems. Normally, she wouldn’t be listening to Jesse, let alone considering his suggestions. Clearly, he had a way with women. I’m not sure why I was surprised Kerri wasn’t immune to his charms.

My guts twisted and I scowled. I didn’t like that reaction.
Why should I care if Kerri is interested in Jesse? I’m not.

Not that he’s any better than Trey, and probably worse. I hadn’t seen him get into a fistfight yet, and that was Trey’s M.O.

Jesse had plenty of demons. What Kerri needed was a sweet, gentle, nice guy like Axel. “Oh my gosh!” I sat up straight. “Kerri, I forgot to talk to you about what happened last night at the party.”

She snapped her phone shut. “Why you left?”

“Yes.” I smacked my hand to my forehead. “I accidently kissed Axel.”

Jesse’s fingers tightened on my leg again. Not panicked, like when Kerri said she was calling Trey, but possessive.

“How do you accidently kiss someone?” Kerri asked.

“That was my next question,” Jesse added softly, then sat back to listen to our conversation.

“Oh my gosh, you guys, shut up. You know that I kiss him on the cheek all the time.”

“And?” Kerri said.

“I accidently moved my face. He tried to kiss me on the nose. Our lips met. It was horrible.”

“Horrible, like you didn’t enjoy it, or—”

“No, horrible like I kissed Axel. You know he’s got a thing for me. Now, he obviously thinks I really have a thing for him.”

“Do you have a thing for him?”

“No! God, you’re not even listening to me.”

“So why’d you kiss him?”

“Kerri, listen. I did not kiss him. I mean, I did kiss him—I did kiss him. But not—I didn’t mean to. Our lips, seriously, like ran into each other. But I freaked out because I don’t want him getting the wrong idea. I like him. We’re friends. It’s great. I don’t need me blurring the lines—Jesse, get your hand off my leg. Speaking of blurring the lines. We are friends. There is no kissing, touching, fondling—stop fondling my leg.”

He held up both hands, “Sorry, sorry.”

When he lowered them, one still ended up dangerously close to my calf.

“So what are you going to do?” Kerri asked.

“I don’t know. What should I do?”

“Ignore it,” Jesse said.

Kerri and I both looked at him.

“Like, not-say-anything ignore it? Or just keep-going-on-like-we-were ignore it?”

He shrugged, “Yeah, just ignore it. If you say anything to him you’re going to have to explain how much you loathed the kiss. That’s not going to do your friendship any favors. You can’t explain it away. Any conversation you try to have about it is just going to call attention to it. Just ignore it.”

I lifted one eyebrow, “Why are you being Mr. Helpful all of the sudden?”

One shoulder lifted and fell.

“Axel’s cool. I don’t think you should go breaking his heart,” Kerri added.

“But wouldn’t I be leading him on if I don’t say anything about it?”

“Not if you don’t kiss him again.”

The doctor came in, interrupting us.

Was that really the best way to handle it, just to ignore it? Was Jesse right? I didn’t want to ruin the relationship I had with Axel. He’d been there for me from the very beginning. I guess I was just going to have to see what happened the next time we were together.

“Does this hurt?”

“Oh yes! Wow—yes!” I gripped the sides of the bed. Jesse covered my fingers with his and I squeezed them.

“Okay, yeah, I’m pretty sure you’ve broken this.” The nurse came in. “Let’s get her to X-ray,” the doctor requested.

For the next hour, I got transferred from one room to another and back again. Kerri left to go break it off with Trey face-to-face, after Jesse assured her he would make sure I got home. They made the agreement while I was getting my bone set—I’m sure so I couldn’t protest.

With a new pink cast encasing my entire left leg, Jesse pushed my wheelchair to the curb. Kerri pulled up as we rolled into the parking lot. She’d been crying.

Jesse loaded me into the car and I leaned forward as far as I could, my fingers brushing Kerri’s shoulder and hair. “Are you okay, babe?” I asked her. She shook her head. Tears welled up and dribbled onto her cheeks.

Jesse opened her door. “I’ll drive.”

She nodded.

With everyone settled, Jesse drove us home and carried me in. He wrote his number on a sticky and set it in the center of the coffee table. “I expect you girls to call me if you need me. I’m an expert pizza, ice cream, and ‘chick-flick’ delivery boy.” Kerri rewarded him with a watery smile.

He ruffled her hair. “You’re better off. I promise. I’ll be on the lookout for a good guy. Maybe Axel.”

I narrowed my eyes at his tone. Why was he trying to setup Axel with Kerri? His reaction to my admission in the hospital still bothered me. He’d seen me kiss him—and it wasn’t like we were dating, ever.

“And you, gimpy . . . I’ll be escorting you to all your classes this week.”

“No thanks, I’m good.”

“Haven’t you already learned that my chivalry can’t be denied?”

He dropped a kiss on my forehead. “Bye, sweet girls.”

We watched him walk out, unsure what just happened. Kerri blew her nose, honking loudly into the Kleenex and making us both laugh.

Kerri handed me
painkillers and a Coke. “Drink up, sweet cheeks.”

I tossed the pill back and took a swig. It burned a trail down my throat. “How long was I out?”

“Couple hours.”

“Sorry.” I rubbed my forehead and pushed up against the arm of the couch. The kitchen clock dinged four chimes. I’d been out for a few more than a couple. My stomach churned and I burped.

My hand flew to my mouth and Kerri giggled. “Good one.”

“Sorry.” I laughed and another burp escaped. “Oh my gosh! What is wrong with me?”

“You’ve been pretty loopy since you got home. You kept laughing in your sleep. Drink some more Coke, this is fun. You’re such a prude about it all the time.”

Heat flushed my cheeks. Burping was gross. Nearly every memory I had of my dad was him getting into burping contests with his buddies. Back then it was cute for me to do it. I was this tiny, petite thing in dresses burping the National Anthem and the Bad Boys theme song. That all came to a screeching halt when he left. I didn’t even allow people to burp around me, which usually made me a raving bitch at parties. Especially frat parties.

I sighed. “Sorry I’m so lame. This is a pretty crappy way to spend a Saturday, taking care of me.”

She tossed the remote on the coffee table and raced to my side. “Not true.” She brushed hair back from my face. “I can’t think of anyone better to spend it with.”

I hiccupped and could barely keep my eyes open. She patted my hand and took the can. “I’ll set it right here.”

I smiled and leaned my cheek against the cushion. Transformers marched across the screen. I watched until the colors blurred then closed my eyes.

The doorbell jarred me.

Kerri eased forward.

“Expecting anyone?” I asked, awake now.

She shook her head. “Trey took it good. I don’t think it’s him.”

We didn’t get many visitors. I shrank down on the couch. “If it’s Axel, tell him I’m not here.”

“I’m sure he heard about your accident by now,” she whispered. “And he’s probably frantic that you haven’t called him.”

I waved her away. “Yeah, yeah.”

“Hurry!” Jesse’s voice called from the other side of the door. “Pizza’s getting cold.”

My stomach rumbled and my guts twisted. My reactions to him were far from normal.

Kerri opened the door.

“You didn’t call, and I was picking up chocolate and pizza and a chick flick for myself tonight. Thought I’d see if you would help me with it.”

“Whatever.” I laughed. He was persistent, I’d give him that. Sometimes I wished he wasn’t a musician. He seemed like he’d be fun to date—I mean, other than the drinking-smoking-panties parts.

He handed the pizza box and movie to Kerri. “Hold on. I have a few more things in my car.”

He disappeared from the door and returned a minute later with a six-pack and a huge bouquet of candied roses. He set the beer on the counter, then bowed and gave the flowers to Kerri. “For you.”

I smiled. He was pretty charming.

“Thank you,” she said with a smile.

“Oops.” He plucked one from the middle. “You can’t have all of them.” He turned and carried it to the couch. Dropping to one knee, he bowed his head and held out the rose. “For you.”

I rolled my eyes and bit off half the bud. Strawberry chocolate flooded my mouth and my stomach gurgled.

Jesse stifled a laugh and trailed his fingers gently over my cast. “How’s it going?”

I made a face. “We’ve been a waste of a day, just sitting around. I barely woke up.”

“Does it hurt?”

“Only when I move.”

He grimaced. “Sorry.”

“I suppose everyone should know what a broken bone feels like.”

“Can’t believe this is your first one.”

“Me either,” Kerri said, bringing over the pizza, plates, and beer.

I leaned over and slid the movie off the top. “What’d you bring us?” I raised an eyebrow at the title. “
You’ve Got Mail?
Seriously. You
are
in a chick-flick mood.”

“What?” He snatched the box from my fingers. “It’s a great movie.”

I smiled. “You’re a trip.”

He popped the movie in and maneuvered me around on the couch, gingerly sliding beneath my legs and settling them on his lap. Again, he had me at a disadvantage—couldn’t move without hobbling around, nowhere else to sit. I should have taken the recliner when we got home. At least this time he kept his fingers off my skin.

After polishing off half the pizza, he set his plate down and traced designs across my cast. “We should sign this.”

Kerri jumped up. “Oh my gosh—yes! I totally forgot when we got home.”

I turned my foot from side to side. “But it’s so pretty.”

“You can’t have a cast without signatures. You’d be a total loser.” Kerri handed Jesse a blue marker and she squatted beside the couch, scanning my pink canvas. Resting her hand gently on my ankle, she swooped a big signature and dotted the ‘I’ with a heart. I laughed.

Jesse pulled the cap off with his teeth and drew a giant heart. I grimaced. He put his initials in the center.

He handed the marker back to Kerri and wiggled out from under my legs. He punched the pause button on the remote. “Be right back.”

Kerri leaned over my leg and examined the heart. The front door banged open and closed. She traced the heart. “He’s totally into you.”

“He carried me home and helped mend your broken heart. That’s all.”

She shook her head. “No. He’s
totally
into you. What guy spends a Saturday night with two chicks watching
You’ve Got Mail
unless he isn’t totally into one?”

That was a pretty good point. I fidgeted. “You know he probably did one of those groupies last night before coming to the party.”

She shrugged. “Maybe.”

“And I’m not into him, so it doesn’t matter.”

“What doesn’t matter?” Jesse asked, closing the front door and flipping the deadbolt. My nose wrinkled at the smell trailing behind him. He tucked a pack of gum in his back pocket and popped a piece between his teeth.

“That you’re nice. That’s going to kill you soon anyway.”

“Chewing gum?”

I narrowed my eyes. “You know what I mean.”

His gaze slid over me, starting at my toes poking out from the tip of the cast, lazily sliding over my legs, pausing for a brief moment on my running shorts, then drifting northward, pausing again at my neck, lips, and eyes.

A trail of warmth pooled along the path.

When he spoke, I was sure I hadn’t heard him right.

“What?” I asked, downplaying the reason for the huskiness in my voice. The drugs must be kicking in.

“I said I will—for a kiss.”

“You’ll quit. If I let you kiss me, you’ll quit smoking?”

He took the pack from his pocket and held them up. “Cold turkey.”

“Fine.”

The wrapper crackled as he crumpled the entire pack. Without breaking my gaze, he tossed them into the kitchen trash.

I lifted my face for a peck. I should have known better. His fingers threaded beneath my jaw and into my loose hair. A hungry lust blazed in his eyes. I’d given him permission and he wasn’t about to waste the shot. From beneath his hooded lids, I read promises and needs.

My eyes dropped closed. This wasn’t a promise, just a kiss.

His lips were warm and soft. They feathered across mine and I meant to pull back, but his fingers held me captive. He tilted my head to the left and his tongue swept across my lips. I moaned.

I didn’t mean to, it just erupted from me. His thumbs stroked my cheeks. He tasted like spearmint and, okay, a little bit of cigarette, but it wasn’t grossing me out like I wanted it to. His tongue pressed against my lips again, asking. I relented and parted mine. His tongue swept into my mouth, softly probing, teasing, asking mine to dance.

Always asking. Never taking.

My hands ended up in his hair somehow and the couch dipped as he settled his knee against my hip. I leaned back until the arm of the couch dug into my shoulder blade. I wanted more of him. I moaned again and he deepened the kiss. One hand trailed down my neck to my shoulder, leaving another searing trail of heat. My body was an entire map of hotspots. These drugs must be helping.

Drugs
.

I sat up fast, cracking my forehead against his chin. “Sorry.”

He pressed a tender kiss against my lips. “I’ve never been more excited to quit smoking in my whole life.”

Hair curtained his left eye, but did nothing to conceal the lust. Swelling made his lower lip droop in a sexy curve. Clearly I’d had too many drugs today.

His fingertips brushed my cheek and tucked a wayward lock behind my ear. My neck tingled. I lifted my fingers to his chest. Hard ridges of muscle jumped at my touch and his eyes flashed to my lips. I pushed him back.

Kerri cleared her throat. “Um, you guys want me to start the movie?”

She stood wide-eyed at the counter, two bowls of popcorn in her hands. She’d obviously seen the kiss, and why did I care, it was just a kiss. Something I’d done with lots of guys, just never ones I swore I wasn’t going to date, and not a single musician since I’d come to college.

I nodded.

My leg ached.

My head was going to if I thought about how my heart was still thumping. I shouldn’t have had a reaction if it was just a kiss.

He settled back on the couch and trapped my fingers against his chest. His heart beat strong, mocking my racing pulse. He traced each one, sending another ripple of not-lust-only-drugs thrumming through my nerves.

Still looking at Kerri, I tugged my hand away. “Start it.”

She nodded and set the popcorn on the table and reclaimed her spot. I ignored her attempts at eye contact. We weren’t talking about this.

Ever.

I’m not sure what I’d been thinking. I guess I thought it would be like when Axel kisses me—and clearly that had taken a wrong turn too—maybe more like when I kiss him. Brotherly, platonic, not a single urge to do it again.

By the way my lips tingled, none of those were even close to accurate.

Jesse grabbed a bowl and settled it on my stomach, then grabbed a handful, making the bowl wiggle. What should have been a calm night with friends now had a strange tilt to it because I couldn’t keep my mouth shut and had to offer up something I’d clearly been wanting anyway.

A small circle of pain radiated outward from beneath my left eye. “Kerri, can I have more drugs.”

She twisted and checked the kitchen clock. “Not for another forty-five minutes.”

“Here,” Jesse shifted on the couch, still settled against the hollow of my waist. “Give me your hand.”

I lifted an eyebrow. Another ploy?

He bounced his open palm once. “Trust me. I’ll do some acupressure.”

“No more kissing.” I settled my hand into his warm one.

“Not a sex-crazed maniac. It was just a kiss, Sasha. Not even that, just a reward.”

With a gentle touch, he turned my hand over and probed the soft pad of my thumb. “Headache or leg?”

I leaned my cheek against the cushion. “Both.”

“Head first then, it’s faster.” Squeezing the web between my thumb and index finger, he massaged a painful knot away. It hurt and felt good at the same time. After the knot melted, he gently rubbed back and forth over the spot, soothing the redness. Then he massaged each finger, pinching the tips of my fingers. “Still have a headache?”

I probed my cheek. “No. Wow, thank you. Do my leg.”

“Demanding.”

I smiled. “Hey. You offered.”

“I did.” He lowered my hand to my chest and stood. “Let me resituate first though. This one takes longer and I don’t want to miss the movie.”

Settled back under my legs, he drew my hand against his chest. Cradling it, he poked and massaged different points. The ache in my leg eased. When I told him, he nodded, but didn’t stop. “The bone is still broken. I’m working on that now.”

“You can fix her broken bone?” Kerri asked.

He shrugged. “Not instantly, but yeah, I can activate certain areas that will help it heal faster.

A few times, I thought he activated spots directly north of my legs, but when I jerked my attention off the screen, he was still watching the movie, face impassive. After my entire body felt like jelly, he lowered my hand and switched to drawing circles on my good knee. I didn’t want to know it wasn’t related to mending my bone, so I let him.

Jesse swirled his fingertips around my kneecap. More tingling erupted in my belly and spread outward. I reminded my body that he was a musician—a talented one who wasn’t going to give it up, no matter what I said.

My body didn’t care.

I picked my thumb cuticle until it bled, then switched hands. Jesse covered them with his and squeezed. His other hand quieted on my leg.