Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) (5 page)

I shake my head at the memory and climb into my truck. My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I pull it out. Mia’s name is on the screen, and I think about ignoring it, but she knows I’m in town and if I don’t answer it now, she’ll just keep calling back or come storming to the house.

Pulling in a deep breath, I accept the call.

“Hey, Mia.”

“Hey, you,” comes Mia’s sweet voice. It’s a total contrast because the last thing Mia is, is innocent. Her short frame may fool you, but she has a big attitude and isn’t afraid to use it. “I heard you were back in town. How have you been?”

“Busy, but I’ll be here for a few weeks,” I tell her and drape my arm over the steering wheel.

“That’s good. Mac and I were wondering if you’d like to come over for dinner on Tuesday.”

I roll my eyes at her attempt to see how I’m doing in person. Mia, just like everyone else, knows how precariously close to the edge I am these days. They also know how easy it is to push me over. I appreciate the worry, but I don’t want it. I just want to be left alone, which makes me an asshole because they are my friends.

So I don’t worry her further and have her banging on my door tonight, I give in.

“Sure. What time do you want me there?” I ask.

“Really? You’ll come?” The disbelief in her voice in unmistakable.

“I said I’ll come, didn’t I?”

It comes off harsher than I intended, and I wait for Mia to bite my head off, but it never comes. Instead she rushes with her reply, like I may change my mind if she doesn’t hurry. The thought has occurred to me. I really don’t want to be around people, but I hate disappointing her. And maybe if I put on a good front, she’ll back off for a while.

“Six. Is that good for you?” she says quickly.

“That’s fine,” I say, and blow out a breath.

“Great! We’ll see you then.” In a quieter tone, she says, “I’ve missed you, Nick.”

And now I feel like shit because I know I haven’t been the best of friends. These people love me and only want to see me happy again.

“Missed you, too, Mia,” I tell her softly.

We hang up, and I start my truck. Checking my side mirrors, I pull out onto the street. My number-one priority when I get back home is to crack open one of the bottles that’s now in the back of my truck and get shitfaced.

Chris

Mia, Mac, Jaxon, Bailey, and I are all sitting around Jaxon’s living room. Andrew and Jase would have been here, but Ally had a checkup today to get the results from her latest tests to see if the bone marrow transplant worked. No way would Andrew miss it and none of us would want or expect him to.

We’re gathered today because we’re all really worried about Nick. He’s been here for over a week and no one’s seen or heard from him since his second day back. Everyone’s tried calling him, with the exception of me. I’m sure I’m the last person he wants to hear from. He’s ignoring everyone. Jaxon and Mac have been over to his house, but Nick never answers the door. The only reason we know he’s still alive is because a couple of townspeople have seen his truck around a couple of times.

He was supposed to go to Mia and Mac’s for dinner last week, but he never showed. He didn’t call either. Mac said Mia was pissed and upset. He had to calm her down before she went over to his house to raise hell. It took some doing, but he finally got her to agree to not go over with guns blazing.

“I don’t know what to do anymore,” Mia says, her face riddled with worry lines. “He’s drowning in his sorrow and won’t take any of the life preservers we throw him. It’s like he doesn’t care anymore.”

“Well, we’ve got to do something,” Jaxon says. “He can’t keep on like this.”

Bailey sniffles beside her husband and Jaxon wraps his arm around her shoulders, bringing her closer to his chest.

“I’m scared for him,” Bailey says tearfully. “I understand grief, but what he’s going through is beyond that. It’s as though he’s dead inside.”

I grip my hands together in my lap. From the moment I first saw Nick, his eyes seemed dead to me. There was no life in them at all. Bailey had told me about what had happened to Anna, and before I was even introduced I knew the man I was looking at had to be Nick. My heart squeezed, and I wanted to rush to him and pull him in my arms. I knew then that I had to find a way to help him.

“If he’s not willing to accept the help he needs then we can’t force him,” Mac says, sitting beside Mia on the couch.

Mia turns narrowed eyes to Mac. “Like hell we can’t,” she says vehemently. “I hate that he’s going through this. I hate that he’s still hurting so much. But if he’s not willing to do anything to help himself, then we’re taking the choice from him.”

“Mia—”

“No, Mac. I refuse to sit by and watch it anymore. It’s gone on too long. Something has to give. He’s my friend. Anna was my sister. If something doesn’t change soon, we’ll lose him for good.” She stops and looks around at us all, determination in her eyes. “I’m not willing to take that chance.”

We all take in Mia’s words for the truth they are. I may not know Nick as well as everyone else in this room, but even I know he’s on a destructive path. People become reckless when they give up on life. One of my deepest fears, a fear I haven’t voiced, is that Nick may try to do something to end the pain. I can see it in his eyes. The pain is eating his soul.

“You’re right, Mia,” Jaxon says gruffly, still holding Bailey. “I’ll head over to his place once we’re finished here. See what type of frame of mind he’s in and go from there. If he doesn’t answer, I’ll bust his damn door down.”

“I’d like to go with you,” I say quietly. I shift in my seat when everyone looks at me. This is the first time I’ve spoken since arriving. “If it’s okay, I’d like to go with you. I know he doesn’t care to see me, but I want to help if I can.”

Jaxon watches me for a few seconds before he says, “I think that’s a good idea. He may not want to admit it, but I believe he’s not as opposed to seeing you as he likes to think. You scare him, Chris. I think having you there will help.”

I sit shocked at his words. How in the world could I ever scare Nick?

Jaxon registers my shock and explains. “You make him feel. He watches you when he thinks no one’s looking. There’s life in his eyes that hasn’t been there in a long time. He doesn’t like it. In his mind, he’s still committed to my sister and probably feels like he’s betraying her for feeling something for someone else. I’ve known it for a while and have been waiting for him to realize it too. But he’s obviously still so deep in his grief that he
can’t
see it or is trying very hard
not
to see it.”

Still stunned at his words, I look around the room at the others. They’re all watching me expectantly. Do they all think this? If only I could believe what Jaxon is saying. But it’s hard when Nick constantly looks down his nose at me.

I glance down at my hands and squeeze them together. When I look back up to Jaxon, he’s still watching me. Gathering my courage and hoping Nick won’t flip his shit when he sees me, I ask Jaxon, “When do we leave?”

We pull up to Nick’s house an hour later. He has a large chunk of property that’s covered in trees. The woodland is beautiful. With the season changing, most of the leaves’ colors are changing to yellows, reds, and oranges.

I’ve only ever been out here once and that was at night. This is my first real glance at his home. The two-story is in need of a serious paint job and maintenance. The light blue paint is peeling and part of the porch is sagging. However, overlooking that, the house is gorgeous. It’s old and has a wraparound porch. I look to the left as we pull to a stop and see a tire swing hanging from an old oak tree.

I reach for the doorknob, but Jaxon stops me before I can open it.

“When we go in, let me talk to him first. He won’t be happy to see you, but he needs this, okay?”

I nod. I’m nervous about going into Nick’s house. I have no doubt that Nick will be pissed that I’m there, but if what Jaxon says is true, then I’ll suck it up. I’ll do anything to help Nick, even swallow my pride—what’s left of it.

We get out and slowly make our way to the porch. The old wood creaks as we walk up the steps. Jaxon stops abruptly when he reaches the top, and I almost run into his back.

“Son of a bitch,” Jaxon mutters.

Worry wiggles its way down my spine at Jaxon’s curse, and I quickly step up beside him to see what’s wrong.

My hand flies to my mouth and I give a little cry at the sight of Nick slumped over in a wicker love seat with an empty bottle of whiskey perched between his legs. His neck lies at an awkward angle. His face is covered in days-old beard and his dark brown hair looks oily, like he hasn’t washed it in days. His cheeks are sunken and he looks pale. He’s in a pair of cut-off sweatpants, a dirty light green t-shirt, and nothing else. It’s cold outside, so I know he has to be freezing. The table beside the love seat is covered in beer cans and Jack Daniel’s bottles.

My heart breaks at the complete mess he’s in.

Forcing the tears back, I push past Jaxon and walk to Nick. I take slow measured steps, not wanting to startle him. And if I’m honest, not wanting to bring on his ire. I don’t think I could handle him pushing me away at the moment. The need to help him, especially in this instant, is too strong.

The ache in my chest intensifies the closer I get. Even in sleep he has frown lines between his eyes. His chest rises and falls and his hands twitch a little. A soft moan leaves his lips, and I’m nearly brought to my knees at the pitiful sound.

I hear Jaxon walking up behind me, but I pay him no mind, my attention focused solely on Nick. Praying I don’t alarm him, I get down on my knees in front of him. My eye catches on something shiny between him and the arm of the seat. My eyes widen as recognition dawns. Fear slithers through me at the gun lying there.

“Jaxon,” I say, my voice wobbly.

When he steps beside me, I point down at the gun. Jaxon curses again and gently pulls it out from beside Nick. He fiddles with it for a moment and then the clip slides out.

“I’ll be back,” he says in a grave voice.

He walks away, and I turn back to Nick. His brows are still pulled down into a frown and there’re shadows underneath his eyes. The scruff on his face is darker than his hair. When I first met Nick, his hair was cut short, but I don’t think he’s cut it in months. It goes past his shirt neck, but wouldn’t be considered long.

“Nick,” I say softly, trying to gently coax him awake.

He doesn’t respond.

I lay my hand on his knee, give it a little shake, and call his name again.

Again nothing. If it wasn’t for his chest moving, I would be really worried.

Jaxon comes back up on the porch, and I turn to see him looking at Nick with a concerned expression.

“I tried waking him, but he’s not responding. Do you think he’s okay?” I ask, frightened he may have gone too far this time.

“Yeah. He’s just drunk off his ass. He’ll be hurting tomorrow. The dumb fucker hasn’t showered in days. I’m thinking now is a good time for him to have one.”

I get up as Jaxon steps up to Nick. Grabbing his arm, he pulls him forward and leans down so his shoulder is in Nick’s gut. With a grunt, Jaxon stands with him over his shoulder. Nick moans, but doesn’t open his eyes. I rush to open the door.

“Fuck, this bastard is heavy,” Jaxon grumbles.

“Do you think it’s smart to put him in the shower like this?” I ask Jaxon, following him and Nick down a hallway.

“Don’t know, but we’re doing it. It’ll help sober him up some. The bastard needs a wake-up call, so he’s getting it.”

I nod. I just hope it helps and he doesn’t kick us out immediately.

I move around Jaxon when he stops at a door, and I open it. I flick on the light and brightness fills the room. It’s painted in a bright yellow and is very spacious. On one side is a big tub with attached shower, and a toilet. Across from it is a long counter with a sink and a tall cabinet.

Other than a few twitches, Nick still hasn’t moved and it’s starting to scare the shit out of me. How can someone get so drunk that they have no idea they are being moved around so much?