Atonement (5 page)

“Only to work out the details for baseball Reese. Nothing happened. My dad and her dad were there most of the time too.” He said his voice muffled through the glass of my window.

Now my heart hurt more, I had even been betrayed by his dad. “Your dad is helping you see Lauren, isn’t he?” It really wasn’t a question, I was stating a fact. I knew his dad seemed a little distant at Christmas. Now I knew it was because he was more interested in Tate’s baseball career than his personal life. Great.

“You kissed her didn’t you Tate. You probably had sex with her too, might as well, since I won’t cave with you.” I was on the verge of breaking down.

“She kissed me Reese, she’s been the one trying to push herself on me…I tell her I’m with you. I think she knows that now.” He was still pleading. Crap this just keeps getting worse.

I just stared, trying to seem un-phased and uncaring. “Goodbye Tate, I wouldn’t want you to skip any practice time, you better get going.” Tears were streaming down my face. I couldn’t believe how in the course of 30 minutes my life had taken a drastic turn. My tires did actually spin as I pulled out of the parking lot. Tate was yelling, “you said you would never leave me Reese, I love you, I’m sorry.” I didn’t know what to do…so I called Elle.

“Hey girl, want to grab some sushi for dinner?” She had picked up on the first ring, not even allowing me a hello.

I was silent. “Reese, did you hear me?” Then her voice became more panicked. “What’s wrong?” She asked forcefully. “Are you okay?”

“No,” I managed to squeak out. “I’m not…Tate and I might have just broken up Elle. I’m not really sure what’s happening right now.”

“Where are you? I’ll come and meet you.” She said calmly. “Ahhh, I’m so sorry Reese, but I’m sure you two can work this out.”

“I don’t think…we can work out the fact… that he would throw our relationship away to play for the pros…just because Lauren can get him there quickly.” I said matter of factly and in between sobs.

“What! That bitch. This is about Lauren Ash. I’m coming, don’t move a muscle”, Elle seethed. I could hear her grabbing her keys and purse and heading out the door.

ended up texting Elle and meeting her at The Sushi Hut. We sat in the back where it was darker. I spilled my guts about Tate and my conversation. By the time I was done, she was seeing red.

“I can’t believe Tate and his dad would be instigating this…this…screwing you over Reese. That’s just plain cold that they would let Lauren worm her way back into his life; and simply because of her contacts with baseball.”

To hear her say it out loud twisted the dagger in my heart even more.

“I think no matter what Tate has to say, I’ll need time. He has crushed my trust for him. The one thing I thought I would never question again was his loyalty, after his confession of what happened between him and Lisa.”

“Reese, maybe it’s time you two took a break. I think every couple needs time every now and then,” said Elle, scrunching up her eyebrows and reaching for my hand.

Just that thought alone made me burst out crying. “You and Finn don’t need a break Elle. Why can’t we be more like the two of you?” I asked in between sobs. I had wondered
about this a lot more lately. Their relationship just seemed SO much easier than ours.

“You and Tate are just so…intense. You take everything so passionately,” said Elle.

“So you don’t think I should be upset that he held this from me?” I asked with a confused look on my face.

“I didn’t say that…I think he deserves your anger and resentment for keeping you in the dark. I mean we are talking about Lauren here. He should have at least told you. More importantly, he should have run the other way, not worked with her!” Elle said. She was getting more worked up the longer she talked.

That’s exactly what I thought. I had never felt so betrayed. While I hoped he hadn’t physically cheated on me by sleeping with her. I felt like he had belittled me and what we have. I mean…had. Oh God, the water works were coming again.

“Okay, we’re SO getting drunk tonight my friend,” said Elle. “Waiter…two shots of Patron with lime and salt please” yelled Elle to the cute little waiter watching our every move. They never carded here. All college students took advantage of that fact too. “They’ll bring the individual sealed shots of Patron, Reese, so no worries.” She knew this still bothered me, not always knowing if my drink had been spiked. Even though we now knew for sure it had been Carter who had spiked my drink when he date raped me.

“But, I don’t think I can Elle,” I said and really meaning it. “I have class tomorrow morning, and…”

Elle cut me off “Well, tough. You are Reese, and it’s not like you have missed any classes up until now…no excuses.
You’re a blubbering mess.” She was right. I was useless like this anyhow.

The shots arrived, and before we even had time to take them, Elle ordered two more. What the hell! Like a magnet, the tequila drew the guys. They must think the old saying ‘tequila makes your clothes fall off ’, to be true, but not with us!

“Okay, here we go. Follow my lead Reese,” said Elle. She grabbed the lime and salt shaker motioning for me to do the same. I took it reluctantly. “Now, lick here between your thumb and finger, pour the salt, and on the count of three, lick the salt, throw back the shot and suck the lime….One. Two. Three.” We did and ahhh if it didn’t burn all the way down.

“Whew!” I dropped my head down, and scooted my chair back. Then the other shot had arrived.

“I can’t do another one Elle”, I said, looking as sincere as possible. “Please, that one was plenty.”

“Too bad Reese. We’re going to. You would make me if I were in this position, but let’s grab a bite to eat first.” Elle was playing my caretaker for the evening, and trying her best to make me feel better.

We ordered a spicy tuna roll, ahi tuna, edamame and a side of rice (more to soak the alcohol up with). In between the first and second sushi roll, we took the second shot. A group of guys had pulled up chairs talking with us as we ate. They bought us another round. I know we shouldn’t have let them, but I was SO upset, I absolutely wasn’t thinking clearly. They flirted with us for hours. One of the taller guys said “Hey, aren’t you Tate Justice’s girlfriend?” The rest of the guys looked at him like he was crazy.

“No questions tonight boys,” Elle jumped in. “She’s just here having a good time,” that of course raised several eyebrows. I was suddenly sad by the mention of his name and the biggest likelihood that the word ‘girlfriend’ would forever be past tense.

I caught sight of one of the girls in my anatomy class studying by herself so I asked her to take me home. The guys seemed utterly disappointed, but I was afraid to stay any longer with my tail tucked between my legs. What it might cause me to do? I wasn’t sure.

On the way back to my dorm I checked my phone. Of course there were several missed calls and texts from Tate. He was beside himself with worry. Well, good. He should be worried. Then I started crying again. I didn’t want our little world of Tate and me to change, but it had. I still couldn’t comprehend why Tate had kept this from me for so long. I believed there was something seriously worth hiding, that’s the only conclusion I could come up with.

I thanked my classmate for driving me as I got out of her car. I would have to get my car tomorrow. Elle was staying behind…I wasn’t sure that was a good idea, since she had been drinking and all, but she said Finn would pick her up soon. I couldn’t believe how swimmy-headed I was from the tequila. I sighed…I guess I feel a little less tormented with the alcohol on board, but I knew it was only temporary. Once the affects wore off, I would surely still be as broken-hearted.

I was digging my keys out of my purse, heading to my dorm room door, and probably swaying a little too. As I got to the doorknob, looking down at the ground, I registered a pair of shoes attached to someone leaning up against the wall…As I made my way up their body, I couldn’t believe what I was
seeing. His legs crossed at the ankles, arms crossed over his chest, piercing blue eyes seeing straight through me…John.

What in the… Elle!

I froze. I couldn’t break away from his glare. He had his lips turned up a little in a slight smile, but his eyes were what were speaking to me.

“John…” I said breathlessly. “What are you…How did you?” I was tripping over my words. All of a sudden, my tongue couldn’t remember how to form words.

“Reese,” he stepped towards me, grabbing my arms gently, and leaning back to look me over. Then he slowly and softly put his arms around me for a sweet embrace, bringing out all kinds of dormant emotions.

“Oh God Reese, I have missed you so much. I’m sorry for your sadness, I truly am.” John was hugging me like his life depended on it now. His smell was euphoric, tantalizing my senses even further. But what really struck me was the familiarity of his touch. His warm hands were encircling my waist, and his strong chest against mine. I began crying…hard. He used his thumbs to wipe away my tears. Then he hugged me again. Could I be content if this lasted all night? I think so.

After a few minutes, I calmed down enough to speak more clearly. “John, I don’t even have to ask how you knew, Elle told you, didn’t she?” I didn’t give him a chance to answer. “I just assumed you had finally moved on, I haven’t heard from you since last summer…wait, maybe you have, and you’re just here for another reason…” I was shaking my head; my words were not coming out right.

John was staring at me with a confident expression. “Reese, can we go inside, please?” He motioned for the door.

“Oh yes, I’m sorry. Of course,” I said, realizing we were still standing in the hall, and I was still swaying a bit.

I quickly unlocked the door, walking in to our small dorm room. I noticed John looking all around, taking in how I lived here on campus.

“I bet you never had to live in a dorm, did you John?” I was sure with all of his family’s money that he had a plush apartment from the beginning when he was in college.

“Actually, I did the first year.” He grinned that gorgeous grin of his, “I wanted the whole experience.”

“Oh,” was all I could say.

He was staring at me again. “I can’t get over seeing you now Reese. I’ve been waiting for this day for so long. Can we sit here?” He motioned to the bed. There wasn’t any other option for ‘sitting’ anyway. The room was very small with two beds taking up most of the space.

“Um, Okay.” I said, looking shyly at him. I was still very much feeling the tequila.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the bed to sit down. Turning our knees in to each other, we sat, him holding my hands. He had the sweetest smile.

“John, I…I can’t believe you’re here now. I’ve thought about you a lot…I wondered how you were…” I was looking at his beautiful face, his smile vanished completely. In its place was a smoldering look. He reached up and ran the back of his hand lightly down my cheek. I closed my eyes at the feeling I had from that sensitive touch. When I opened them again he was inches closer to my face. His fingers were trembling.

“Reese, you don’t know what it does to me to know I’ve been on your mind even a little. I wake up thinking of you, and
go to sleep dreaming of you.” His eyes were glistening, obviously threatening to tear up. “Ahhh Reese, what you do to me.”

I wasn’t sure what to feel. I was sitting here on my bed with my gorgeous, beach god, John. What would Tate think? Before I could argue or reason with myself, John’s lips were on mine. Tenderly, softly, he pressed his lips to mine. He let out a contented sigh. I gasped, my eyes widening…but only for a brief second. Then I pressed my lips back toward his. It was as if he melted at the idea of me kissing him back. He must have thought I would back away. Should I…back away? I was no longer in control. My heart was racing, my head spinning. Who was I kidding, I had feelings for John, I always had, but in the past, Tate had trumped those. But now…now all of a sudden I was torn.

Our kiss seemed to last forever. He reached around, placing his hands down low, at the small of my back. He pulled us a little closer together. The heat from our breaths and our lips touching had us vapor-locked. Then he gently opened my mouth with his tongue, causing me to let out a low moan. Our tongues touching became very sensual, and oh so quickly. He put his hand underneath my hair to pull my neck and the rest of my body even closer. Then he pulled me down on the bed with him. Our breathing erratic and quick, my senses were firing from every angle. What was happening? What was I
allowing
to happen?