Atonement (11 page)

He quickly stopped and pulled me to my feet. “Let’s go, I want to take you somewhere.” he said. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“John, where are we going? We just got here.” My head was spinning. What was he thinking? His joy was contagious though, and I started to grin too. I threw my button down dress on over my bathing suit, and we hopped back on his Harley. Within minutes we were driving through the historical section of Gaslamp, and parking right in front of a quaint little…jewelry store? What in the world? My heart starting racing, and my brain was in denial. Surely this wasn’t what I thought it was.

We took off our helmets, and he reached for my hand, pulling me in the store. I was speechless. The look on my face must have been one of terror. When John looked at me, he froze. Then he closed the distance between us, gently rubbing his hand down my cheek.

“Reese, are you okay? You look so pale.”

I looked him in the eyes, “what are we doing here John?”

After a long pause he said “Please Reese, I want to buy you a ring.” I sucked in a short breath and closed my eyes tightly. John gently grabbed my face between his hands; I could feel his eyes looking past my lids. Could he feel my trembles?

“Reese. I want to do this. I want to start forever with you now. I don’t want to risk ever losing you again.”

My mouth was suddenly dry. I was going to be sick on my stomach if I didn’t calm down.

“John, this is too fast. We’ve known each other for under a year, and we aren’t officially boyfriend/girlfriend or…or anything. I just broke up with the love of my life, I’m not ready”. Oh no, I didn’t mean to say it like that. Now he was hurt, I could see it in his eyes. He dropped his gaze to the floor. I pulled him gently out of the jewelry store.

He stopped short, pulling me to him, “I just don’t want to lose you again Reese. I think it would kill me this time.” He sounded so utterly desperate.

“John, trust me, I’ve heard that before. One day, you’ll eat those words. Nothing lasts forever.” I was sure of this. I had started to look at things so temporarily now, knowing the word permanent could only be a figment of my dreams.

“Don’t say that Reese. I can’t believe you’ve lost that hope…Tate did this to you. It wouldn’t be like that for me…I love you.” Then he whispered, “I’ve loved you since the first day I saw you last summer. Please, give me a chance. Give US a chance.”

With our foreheads touching and his hands in mine, I resolved that this did feel so good. I wanted to believe in
forever, but how could I? Just then I felt my phone vibrate. Looking down at the screen, I froze…

Tate was calling.

John saw his name on the screen. “Don’t answer it Reese, he’ll just make you upset.”

I let it ring several times then looking at John, I declined the call and put it back in my pocket. A few seconds later my phone pinged with a text. It was Tate.

Why? Why are you at that

jewelry store with John?

What are you doing Reese?

Don’t do this!

Please get away from him.

I need you!

My eyes were frozen to the screen. Then it hit me…“He’s here, he can see us.” After a few seconds of being unable to function, I said, “let’s go…now!” I was frantic. John urged me on the back of his bike, making sure our bodies were as close as possible. He looked back to make sure I was okay, and I maliciously took his face in my hands and kissed him…hard, tongue and all. “Now go!” I yelled.

y pulse was racing. My body broke out in a sweat. I couldn’t believe I just did that. I must be a truly vindictive person. I had to witness Tate’s kiss with Lauren, in national headlines, no less, so I wanted him to see mine with John. That was all it was to it. John weaved in and out of the lanes making sure Tate couldn’t follow us. I can’t believe out of all of the places we could have chosen to vacation, we chose the exact same place that he was being so secretive about being scouted from.
God, why do things always seem to be so difficult? Geez, am I missing your plan in this mess of my life?

John pulled off on the side of the road near a small café, hidden from the main road. I’m sure it was intentional so Tate wouldn’t find us. The weight of what had just happened finally hit me like a ton of bricks. I started crying, I couldn’t catch my breath. John put his arms around me and I sobbed into his chest.

“Oh Reese, I can’t stand to see you like this. Ahhh. I’m sorry it hurts so much. I wish I was enough to take the pain away.” I heard him let out a deep breath, obviously feeling a little defeated. He was rubbing my back, trying to calm me down.

“I’m. So. Sorry. John.” I said between sobs. “I can’t believe it hurts this bad either. I want it to go away. Why is he still trying to hold on? He can’t have us both, Lauren and me. He broke my trust, and now he’s not being fair to my feelings either.” I just couldn’t understand it.

“Hey, listen. Let me take you to my place Reese. You know if you go back right now he’ll try to find you. It will be too hard for you. Let me take care of you Reese.” He was holding me so tight, desperately trying to get me to be okay and turn to him. Just then my phone pinged. Twice. The first was a text that read:

Reese, what are you

doing? I can’t believe

you’re here. I’m dying

without you, and now I

know you turned to HIM.

I’m out of my mind. Please

call me!

Then one immediately following his text was a picture of us at Hanging Rock, back in the Fall. We were SO happy then (minus the brief Lisa incident). What happened to us, and how did it change everything SO completely? I knew the answer as soon as my brain had released the question…Tate. That’s how we got here. He chose baseball AND Lauren, for that matter, over me. I couldn’t be sad right now, I was more mad than anything. I rolled my shoulders back, determined to be strong.

I texted him right back before I could even think it through. Dang it, I should have waited. I knew better than to respond when I was so emotional. I said.

Damn you Tate.

Two words. Lauren and

secrets. I’m sure

that kiss wasn’t

all you’ve done

with her. It’s best if you

leave me alone.

He responded back right away.

Please tell me it’s all YOU HAVE

done with him! I don’t

want Lauren, I want

you Reese. I’m sorry

I kept things from you.

I need to see you. Now!

I was being torn apart word by word. I shouldn’t have to even be having this conversation. I asked John if we could ride to the park we had just passed and let me get my bearings. Once there, I told him what Tate had said in his text. I think he was trying to figure out a way to make me feel better. I felt my phone vibrating. It was Elle calling. I picked it up on the first ring.

“Elle, Tate is still here in San Diego, and he knows I’m with John,” I blurted out before she spoke.

There was silence on the other end.

“Elle, are you okay?” I looked at my phone to make sure I hadn’t lost connection.

“Reese. Where are you?” He seethed through his teeth. Oh God, it was Tate. I felt my heart beating in my throat.

“Answer me Reese. You need to be with me, now! Where are you? I’m coming to get you.”

I was crying now. Just to hear his voice. How did he think he had the right to be so demanding? I turned away from John so he couldn’t hear me, or see my face.

“Tate” I barely breathed. “I’m not coming to you…I…I can’t.” My composure was faltering. I needed to hang up. “You broke my heart. Bye Tate.” I whispered.

“Wait Ree…”

I hung up on him. I was shaking, and I knew now that I couldn’t go back to the hotel. I immediately texted Chloe…

Are you with Elle?

Why didn’t you warn me

Tate was there?

Let me know when he leaves.

I’m going to John’s place.

I filled John in on what was happening. I could tell his spirits lifted a little knowing I was going to his yacht. He drove fast and purposefully to the docks at Gaslamp. There wasn’t a lot of space between our hotel and there, so I was a little leery
about Tate figuring it out and coming to find me. I couldn’t stand the idea of seeing him again right now. I knew my feelings would waiver with him standing right in front of me.

We pulled up near the slip where ‘John Rider III’ was nestled between two smaller boats.

My heart raced, my breathing was shallower. I was nervous about getting back on board where Sam had almost raped me. John came up behind me and his arms gently circled my waist.

“It
will
be okay Reese. You’ll see. I’m here with you all the way.” His face was so reassuring. I did love John, and how good he was for me. We had already been through so much together.

When I walked on board I was amazed at the transformation before my eyes. John had changed the décor and the paint. In fact, everything looked different. I stood there gazing around at what appeared to be a brand new ship.

He leaned down and kissed my cheek. “I didn’t want you to have any flashbacks Reese, if I could help it. I redecorated, trying to make it look like a different place. I even gutted the bedrooms and changed it all.” I know my mouth must have been dangling open. I was trying to take it all in. I had a sudden gush of emotions for this gorgeous man beside of me. I turned and locked eyes with him.

“I can’t believe you did all of this…for me.” I threw my arms around his neck, and kissed him hard on the lips.

“Mmmm, I will change the décor around here weekly if it gets this type of reaction out of you.” Then he lifted me up and kissed me again. I slid back down his chest, relishing the feel of contentment, even if deep down, I knew it was only temporary.

e settled onto the comfy sofas. John wouldn’t leave me alone for a second. He wanted to make sure I felt completely safe. The guys weren’t here right now. I was wondering if that was who he’d called earlier when I was texting Chloe, to make sure we could have our privacy. I could only imagine they were with Maura and Chloe now anyway.

Out of nowhere walks in the ship attendant from last summer asking us our preference for a drink and snack. John introduced her as Ms. Mary. He motioned for me to decide. I shyly said a Diet Dr. Pepper would be fine if she had it. He turned back to Ms. Mary and said “and also two double vodka tonics please.”