For the first few minutes of their walk to Breezy's house, both of them were silent. Breezy was the first to speak sharing her thoughts. “I can't wait until I get grown. I am going to leave Boykins and never come back.”
King reached over and ruffled her hair playfully. “As long as you let me know where you are then it's cool with me. You need to go somewhere and get away from your crazy-ass mama. I swear, I be wanting to run up on her and two piece her ass! Then she can see how it feels to have somebody beat on her for a change.”
Breezy giggled and blushed because she knew that if nobody else in the world loved her, King did. He had never picked on or mistreated her. Whenever any of the other kids at school teased her he would always defend her. She looked at him and thought,
Yeah, God did love me because He placed you in my life.
“Boy, you is crazy. Of course I am going to tell you. You will be the only person who knows or even cares where I am. My mama won't care. She'll probably throw a party when I leave.”
“Well me and you will throw an even bigger one in celebration of you being rid of her ass.” They both laughed. “Don't sweat it though because in the end before it's all said and done she will need you. The same person she mistreated all of these years she will have to come to and ask for help. Not demand it but humble herself and ask you. That's when you tell her to kiss your ass!”
Breezy looked at him like he was crazy. She figured he must've been talking to somebody else because she was terrified of Teresa and there was no way in hell she would be crazy enough to stand in her face and tell her some shit like that. “Yeah, okay. Anyways have you done any studying for that history test that we are having tomorrow?”
“Nah, I'm just gon' copy off your paper like I always do.” He laughed.
“You are just trifling,” she joked.
“Whatever; call it what you want, just make sure we get an A.” They reached Breezy's street and stopped at the stop sign like always. King leaned against the sign with his hands in the pockets of the hoodie that he was wearing. “Well I guess I'll get my butt on home but first I wanted to ask you what you had planned for your birthday.”
Her birthday was that Saturday coming up and she honestly hadn't thought much about it. “Nothing, as usual,” she replied truthfully.
“Well, if you can get away from your ma, I will borrow my mama's car and take you bowling or something. It is your sixteenth birthday so you have to celebrate.”
“I don't have nothing to wear bowling.” She looked down at the pair of old, dirty Nikes that she wore on her feet. They were done but she was still trying to hold on to them because they were all that she had, and her hair needed a perm in the worst way. Thinking about it made her feel embarrassed and she self-consciously reached up and ran her hand over her hair.
“You act like you trying to impress somebody. Just think about it, okay?” He gave her a hug like always. “All right, big head, see you tomorrow.”
“Okay, I will. See you tomorrow,” she told him, hating to leave him.
He walked off in the direction of his house and she continued down the street to her house.
Chapter Two
When Breezy reached her house it was dark. There were no lights on at all so she assumed that her ma was inside passed out, or else gone. She opened the door and crept inside. Upon walking through the door, she tried to flip on the light switch in the living room but nothing happened. She tried flipping the switch off and then back on again but again nothing happened. She fumbled her way to the other side of the room to the lamp and tried to turn that on but that wouldn't come on either.
“They out. They cut the motherfuckers off about two hours ago.” Terry's voice came out of nowhere, nearly scaring her to death and causing her to jump.
She looked around the dark room. There was a little bit of light coming through the window from the streetlight but not much. As her eyes adjusted to the dark some she was able to see his silhouette over on the long sofa.
“Where is my mama?”
“Down the hall in the bed drunk and asleep.” He replied his words coming out slurred.
She could smell the stench of alcohol where she stood.
“Why don't you come over here and sit down and talk to me for a little while?” he suggested.
“I need to go on to bed so that I can get up a little earlier than normal and get myself right for school since the lights are off,” she replied and started walking in the direction of the hallway. She walked slowly with her hands out in front of her.
Out of thin air she felt Terry's hand cover her mouth and with his other hand he grabbed her and pulled her back toward the sofa. She was trying to scream but his hand was clasped tightly over her mouth and all that was coming out was muffled sounds.
“Shut the fuck up you little nasty bitch before I snap your damn neck. If you wake up Resa, I'm going to tell her how your little ass be trying to come on to me when she ain't around.” This wasn't the first time that one of her mama's men had raped her. She'd even been molested by a chick Teresa was seeing in the past. She already knew the routine. The last time that she tried telling her about one of her boyfriends touching her, Teresa beat her and told her that he wouldn't have touched her had she not been so fast and hot in her ass. She swore that Breezy wanted it. So Breezy knew without a doubt she would believe him over her.
Hell she left me in this nasty-ass house with no food all weekend while she ran the streets with him. Obviously what happens to me is her last concern.
“I'm going to take my hand off of your mouth but if you scream or try anything stupid I am going to fuck you up,” he warned, his hot breath on the back of her neck. He removed his hand from over her mouth. “Now unbutton them pants and pull 'em halfway down. Then bend over the chair,” he instructed from behind her.
She didn't budge. She stood there, her mind racing, trying to decide what she should do. She thought about trying to run but then thought about what might happen if she didn't make it out the door. Even if she did make it out the door, where would she go? She knew that she could go to King's house but she couldn't stay there forever.
Without warning she received a hard blow to the back of the head. Falling forward on the sofa, she reached back rubbing the spot where she'd been hit.
“I asked you to unbutton them pants! What in the fuck are you just standing there for? I don't have all gotdamn night! Now get the fuck up and do what I asked.”
She did as he said. After pulling her pants along with her panties down to her knees, she leaned over the arm of the sofa. From behind her, she could hear him fumbling with his clothes. Then he grabbed her and pushed her over some more before she felt his penis trying to find her opening. When he found it, he shoved himself inside of her roughly and without mercy. She let out a loud yelp.
He hit her in the back of the head again. “Didn't I tell you to shut the fuck up?” he asked as he pumped in and out of her. She squeezed her eyes together and bit down on her lip as she prayed silently for him to hurry up so that the pain would go away. Thank God for small favors because it didn't last that long. After about four minutes he let out an animalistic growl and emptied himself inside of her. His flaccid penis slid out of her and he stood up stuffing it back inside of his pants. “Fix your clothes and get the fuck out of here.”
She fixed her clothes and then felt her way down the hall to her room. She couldn't see anything so there was no way that she could go into the bathroom and clean herself up. Inside her room, she lay down on the bed and cried herself to sleep.
When she woke up the next morning the sun was barely up but it was light enough so that she could see. She got up and found some clothes to put on. She hardly had anything to choose from. Her private area was a little sore as she walked down the hall but the pain was bearable. It was the emotional pain that was killing her. She felt so nasty. She went into the bathroom and took off her clothes. When she took off her underwear, Terry's semen was dried on the insides of her thighs and underwear. What was even more messed up was the fact that there was no hot water being that the lights were off. After washing up in cold water she still felt dirty. She put on her clothes and then brushed her nappy hair back in the classic ponytail that she wore every day and put some Vaseline on her lips. She looked in the mirror and was ashamed of her reflection.
Grabbing her book bag she walked down to the bus stop. She was mad early but it didn't matter because she needed some time alone. She sat down on the sidewalk placing her stuff next to her. She took out her notebook and began to write a poem:
Untitled
As I lay here in the dark my face drenched in tears
I've been living in this world of intolerable pain for years.
A burden to everyone I feel so alone.
I pray for the day when my Father finally calls me home.
I'm ready to give up no need to go on.
This is a battle that can't be won.
You've stripped away all that I had.
Beaten me until my blood flowed like an endless river of red.
Raped me and taken away my dignity.
Scarring me both emotionally and psychologically.
Leaving me to drown in this misery.
For you it was over when you were done.
But for me the pain is never gone.
Neither is the sadness and fear.
Which is why I lie here in the dark with my face drenched in these tears.
Breezy closed her notebook, looking up and down the street. She saw a few people headed in the direction of the bus stop, one of them being King with two of the guys he hung out with, Jalen and Sean. Sean was cool but Jalen always looked at her like she had a disease or something; but he knew better than to say something slick because King would be in his shit with the quickness.
When they reached her, they all spoke and so did she.
“Did you study for our test last night?” King asked as he took a bite of a bacon and egg sandwich that he had wrapped in a paper towel.
“Nah, I didn't get any studying done last night. I went to bed as soon as I got home but I pretty much already know everything that's going to be on the test.”
“Good.” He smiled showing off a mouthful of food.
Breezy frowned up her face. She hated when he talked with his mouth full.
“We gon' get an A today, buddy.”
She just shook her head.
“King, Davita was asking about you yesterday,” Jalen announced grinning and cutting his eyes at Breezy. He was more than sure that she had a thing for King so he assumed that his announcement would hurt her feelings because she was nowhere near on Davita's level. She couldn't dress, her hair was always nappy, and sometimes she even smelled. He couldn't understand why King hung around her dirty-looking ass but he wouldn't dare voice his opinion of her because he knew King would flip the script! “I think she want to holla.”
“Who, Davita Newsome with the big ass?” King asked looking more than interested.
“Yeah, man, she bad as hell. If I was you I would be all over dat. All the niggas be sweating that ass but she want to holla at yo' ass. You ain't got no job and no car! I can't figure that shit out!” Jalen tried to clown.
“Shit, me either,” Sean chimed in, laughing.
“Fuck both of y'all! I'm a fly-ass nigga; that's why she trying to give a nigga some play!”
You ain't never lied,
Breezy thought, looking at her best friend as he laughed along with Sean and Jalen. He had the prettiest smile. She looked down at herself and cringed at how unattractive she appeared. She was skinny with no shape, small boobs, caramel-colored skin, and her chin-length hair had broken off all over. She knew that a guy like King wasn't trying to be seen with a chick like her on his arm. In her opinion all that she had going for herself was book sense.
“Whatever, nigga!” Jalen laughed. Again he cut his eye at Breezy picking up on how uncomfortable she looked. “You ain't all of that. I think she's just trying to give you some pity pussy.”
“Y'all are just some haters.” King stuck up his middle finger, flipping both Sean and Jalen off.
Breezy looked up the street and saw the bus approaching and walked a little closer to the edge of the sidewalk because she was tired of listening to the fellas' conversation. When the bus stopped, she stepped on and took the third seat from the front. She always stayed close to the front but this morning she had a lot on her mind with the incident that had taken place the night before between her and Terry. Most of the time she could pretty much block out all of the horrible things that happened to her; but not knowing if this would be something that he tried again had her worried, because she wasn't sure of what she should do. The worst part was she couldn't talk to King about this because she knew that he would confront Terry. She didn't need any extra problems and didn't want to cause him any either. She slid down in her seat and looked out the window as the bus pulled off.
“Kita, did you comb your hair this morning?” Breezy heard Angie Baker ask her cousin.
Kita burst into laughter. “Nah, girl, you know I don't be combing it. I just pull it back in that same ol' dusty ponytail every day. Most of the time I don't even wash my ass.” She continued to laugh. Breezy knew they were talking about her but decided to do as she always did: ignore them.
“Yeah, I can smell the scent of fish coming through the seat.” Angie continued to play along.
“Probably because I've been wearing these same drawers since last week,” Kita replied and both girls giggled. The two of them continued to go back, unaware of the fact that Breezy was growing closer and closer to her breaking point.
Without warning Breezy jumped up on her knees in the seat, turning around she grabbed Kita by the front of her hair and started swinging. All of the pent-up anger and frustration that she'd been keeping bottled up inside she was now releasing on her.
Angie grabbed Breezy's hair trying to get her off of Kita but it wasn't working. She pulled harder on Breezy's hair. “Let go of her, you nasty bitch! Take your hands off of my cousin,” Angie yelled but Breezy didn't let go nor did she stop swinging. Seeing that pulling her hair wasn't working, Angie started punching Breezy in her head and face. The blows were coming hard and fast, causing Breezy to finally let go and try to cover her face. No sooner than she let go of Kita's hair, both girls jumped on her.
King heard commotion coming from the front of the bus and then everyone started to yell, “Fight! Fight!” Everyone who was in the back including him started trying to get to the front. He could make out that one of the girls was Kita and then he saw Angie and realized that they were both fighting the same person, but couldn't see who because, whoever it was, they had her down in the seat.
The bus driver stopped the bus and got out of her seat. “That's enough! Break it up!” she yelled as she tried to make her way down the aisle but the students were blocking her path trying to see the fight. There was nothing like a good fight first thing in the morning and nobody was trying to have her ruin the excitement by breaking it up.
“Yo, who they fighting?” King asked Dre', a boy who lived down the street from him.
“I think its Breezy,” he responded shrugging his shoulders and looking unsure. “I mean, I can't say it's her but it sure looked like her. Ain't she wearing a blue shirt?”
King didn't answer; he just started pushing motherfuckers out of the way trying to get to Breezy. Angie's cousin Marko stood in the middle of the aisle blocking the way so that he couldn't get through.
“Fall back li'l nigga; this ain't none of yo' business,” Marko barked, sizing King up like he wanted to do something.
King had never been a talker so he simply stole him right in the jaw and the two of them began fighting. The next thing they all heard were sirens and police were coming onto the bus. The bus driver had called the police.
The police broke up the fights, cuffed everyone, and put them in separate police cars. King wasn't worried about himself at all; his only concern was Breezy and whether she was okay. When they got down to the juvenile center they called everyone's parents.
Within twenty minutes after getting the call, Annette showed up mad and raising hell. “Get them damn cuffs off of my son! Y'all act like he done killed somebody or something! He was in a little scuffle. That's what kids do! Why don't y'all get off of your lazy asses and go catch some real criminals? You know like some of them boys who's out there robbing people, raping people, and shooting people? Y'all gone bring some little schoolboys down here just because of a scuffle they had on the school bus!”