I looked up as Jaeda, Lexis, and Sage all came in the bathroom and locked the door behind them. I shook my head as Jaeda threw her arms around me; I didn’t want to cry – I couldn’t cry, but he played me like a fool and I felt like an idiot. My phone beeped and I pulled it out to see that I had a picture message from an unknown number. I opened the message, and in front of my face was a sonogram picture with this bitch Ericka Martin’s name in the corner. My jaw and my heart dropped at the same time as I turned the phone to show them the message.
Jah
I swear, I don’t know how I ended up with such bad luck, but this shit was for the birds. I had fucked up royally, and I didn’t know if Laela would forgive me for this. I couldn’t have her mad at me though. Right now my back was against the wall, and I didn’t know what to do. I had been trying to shake Ericka’s clingy ass for weeks, but the more I tried to distance myself from that bitch, the clingier she got. That bitch had started popping up at my house and to the block unannounced. I was glad that Laela hadn’t ever been there when she did, although one night I had a super close call. Laela had spent the night with me one night, and I had gotten up in the middle of the night to take a leak and grab bottle water.
When I got in the kitchen, I heard somebody pull in the driveway, and when I looked it was Ericka; she hopped out the car and soon as she was about to ring the doorbell, I had opened the door. It was after 2 a.m. and this dumb bitch was about to ring the damn doorbell. At that moment, I realized that she didn’t give no fucks, and I needed to leave her ass alone. I closed the door behind me as I stepped out on the porch, and her dumb ass started to raise her voice bitching about me not answering my phone, and shaking her because of Laela and shit. I don’t know what had changed between us in her head, but the bitch was tripping.
I grabbed her and pulled her towards her car; soon as we were in her whip, I choked her ass up. I was so pissed off at the fact that she came to my house on some bullshit and my girl was there; she started crying and telling me how she loved me, but she wasn’t about to keep letting me use her and then shake her when I wanted to. Once she started talking about not making runs anymore, I tried to talk some sense into her; wasn’t no use in fucking over the money behind some feelings. As I let her go, I realized that her titty was hanging out of her tank top; my dick jumped and like the freaky bitch that she was, she noticed it. She licked her lips and then pulled my dick out my basketball shorts; I fucked her right there in the driveway with my bitch sleep in my bed. I was a cold nigga, but I couldn’t help it. I didn’t like when I didn’t have control over the situations around me. I should have turned that bitch around the moment she pulled up and made her cut, but the dog in me was on some other shit.
I mean yeah, a nigga was fucking around with a few hoes but shit, that’s how shit goes when you young, handsome, and paid. A nigga like me always wanted to have his cake and eat it too; it wasn’t fair to Laela, but it was life. Shit, I wasn’t going to stress though. I was going to try and talk to her when she cooled down, but if she ain’t want to give a nigga another chance then shit, I didn’t know. I wasn’t going to let this shit come between my money, and Big Ken already warned us about letting this relationship fuck up the business so shit, since it was hella ass bouncing and a nigga was faded, I was about to enjoy the rest of my night.
I saw Laela and the girls leaving out the restroom and heading back towards the VIP section, so I made a beeline for the main stage where they had the club lit. I didn’t know if they were staying or leaving, but I wasn’t trying to be in the midst of those angry black women; shit, my shoulder was still aching where that bottle hit me. Laela had an arm on her. I had to remind myself to only make her ass mad in an empty room with pillows and marshmallows.
I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket and I reached for it, thinking it was one of the niggas from the hood or something. I opened my text messages and just stared at my phone as I read the message in front of me.
E:
So I already sent this to ur little girlfriend and I hope that u enjoy ur night, me & ur baby made it home safely. We would love if u came home to us when u done, I’m sure Laela is koo on u but we still love u DADDY!!
Me:
Dumb bitch kill yourself!!
E:
Now that’s no way to talk to your baby’s muhva, ur mad now but u will be okk once you feel these lips later on. Toodles!
I stared at the sonogram picture, and I was kicking myself in the ass. I had been running up in Ericka raw for the past couple of months, and she wasn’t the only one.
“Fuck!” I said out loud as I threw a stack of ones at the stripper on the pole in front of me; the bitch wasn’t barely doing shit with her ugly ass, but I just needed to throw something. I had let my dick get me into a world of trouble. I had a pretty ass bitch that did whatever for me; treated me like a king; somebody who loved my dirty draws and was loyal, smart, and gangsta, but my dumb ass loved to go run in these ratchet ass nothing ass hoes, because they nasty asses would bust it wide open for a little paper. Now I had this dumb bitch pregnant. Fuck my life.
I fucked around with the squad for a little longer as I stole glances at Laela; she was forcing herself to party, but I could feel the hurt and disappointment oozing from her pores. I wanted to just grab her and hold her, and tell her it would be okay, but how could I want to love and protect the very person that I disappointed and disrespected?
“Aye my nigga, we bouta cut up out of here,” Tone said as he came and stood next to me by the bar. I nodded my head, never taking my eyes off the stripper in the white two-piece in front of me.
“Laela riding with y’all?” I asked.
“Nah, she gonna ride with Tamia and Jamiya, she said she was just going home and Jaeda staying with me tonight.” I dapped him up and gave a head nod to the rest of the squad before I turned around and continued watching the show the stripper in white was putting on.
I was zoned out just sitting in the club; when I checked the time, it was going on 4 a.m. Laela hadn’t bothered to text or call me, so I sent her a simple I love you text but never got a response. I decided to finally turn it in. I threw the last stack of money I had in my hands and headed out. The club was still lightweight moving, but I was cool on the scene. As I drove back to Oakland, I thought about what I was going to do with a baby; would Laela forgive me and stay by my side, or would she say fuck me and move on? I wasn’t no lame ass nigga and I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I was going to fight for my girl; she was made for me, and I couldn’t lose that over this dusted ass bitch with average pussy.
I got back across the bitch quicker than I realized I pulled into the long ass drive thru line at Jack in the Box and after a 45 minute wait, I grabbed my food and drove off, only to park and get out the car in front of Ericka’s house. I had a lot of built up frustration and although she was the cause of most of it, I needed that Grade A head right now. I told myself I was just getting my dick sucked, and then heading home.
When I knocked on the door, Ericka opened it wide enough for me step in; when I looked at her she was butt booty naked, and my dick stood up soon as she turned to walk away. Her fat ass was hypnotizing as I followed her into the living room. I took a seat on the couch, turning the TV to ESPN SportsCenter as she dropped to her knees and released my rock hard dick from my pants, swallowing it in one swift motion. I swear, her throat was so deep I could feel her next word before it came.
“Fuck!” I groaned; the shit was feeling magical, and it must have been because before I knew it, I had that bitch bent over the couch digging her back out unprotected but shit – the damage was already done, I couldn’t get her any more pregnant than she already was. I fucked her from the living room to the bedroom.
I opened my eyes and the sun was shining bright; soon as my eyes adjusted to the light, I looked around and realized I was at Ericka’s house, not home in my bed, and definitely not in bed with my bitch. I shook my head; I was most definitely a hardheaded nigga. I was laid up in the bed with the same bitch that’s responsible for the chaos in my life. I slipped out the bed, trying not to wake Ericka as I went into the living room to retrieve my clothes and phone. I could take a shower when I got home; I wasn’t trying to be around when this bitch woke up. I reached in my pocket and peeled off six big faces, and left them on the table as I scribbled down the number to the abortion clinic downtown on a piece of mail, with the words “Handle That ASAP”. With that, I let myself out and locked her bottom lock as I jogged to my car. Once in my whip, I powered on my phone. It was going on 10 a.m. and I had multiple messages from the Squad, Big Ken, and Laela. I opened Laela’s message first, and it was short and simple.
“I’m koo on you!”
Laela
“So you really done with bruh, or you just talking out of anger?” Rico asked as he handed me the bottle of Avion that we were sipping on. I had started drinking a lot over the past couple of days. It’s hard when you have to continue to conduct business normally with somebody that can’t remain loyal to your heart, but you have no choice but to trust them with your life and money. Like how does that even work?
“Man, I’m saying how I’m feeling right now. I been drunk for over a week – shit, I’m liable to say whatever comes to mind at this point.” I shook my head and sipped from the bottle. I hadn’t talked to Jah since the incident at the club. I didn’t even have shit to say to him. I gave him plenty chances to keep it real with me and talk to me, but he decided to play games and I’m cool on all that extra shit. He had been blowing me up and trying to talk to me on the block, but my
I don’t give a fuck game
is way too strong because I could sit right in his face and act like I didn’t hear or see that boy. I would never do anything to spite him; most females would be trying to tear some shit up and be childish, but me? I’m just chilling. It’s business as usual.
“I think you should give my nigga a chance to explain himself; just because a bitch say some shit, don’t take her word for gospel,” Rico pleaded. I turned and gave him a sour look.
“Nigga what can he say to make me feel any different? We all know he was fucking that bitch – shit, I should be mad at you too because all y’all bootsy ass niggas knew what was going on, and each one of y’all just said fuck Laela feelings. Damn, was she sucking y’all dick too?” I said a little louder than I meant to. I stared at Rico, and he had this weird look on his face. “My nigga you nasty as fuck!” I yelled, “So who else was fucking this bitch?” I asked, taking another swig from the bottle.
“Man, the whole squad done had that hoe; shit, I heard Lexis even had some play. That bitch a bop, so all that pregnant shit, man who knows.” I thought about what was being said, and knowing that Ericka had been around didn’t make me feel any better, but it did make me want to cuss Jah out. I picked up my phone and sent Jah a text saying that I hated him. I was about to gas this nigga, fucking around on me with this dusted ass broad.
“Man bruh I’m hot, but I’m going to talk to ya patna. I’m still cool off his dirty ass though.” I lit the blunt that was sitting in the ashtray and laid my head back on the headrest. My head was starting to spin, and I was hoping the weed leveled me out, because I was way past loaded and I didn’t know how I would make it home.
I woke up the next day, and my head was banging. I looked around the room and realized I was at home, but how the hell I got there was beyond me. Damn, my head felt like a ton of bricks; I couldn’t even move. I looked around for my phone and spotted it on the nightstand. I grabbed it and saw that it was only 9 a.m. I just knew I had slept the day away. I had a ton of missed calls and texts, so I checked the texts first. I checked the one from Rico since it was at the top.
Rico:
Sis u was drunk as shit last night so I brought u home, ur car is parked at Jah house. Give my nigga a chance and get at me when u feeling better b.g.
I shook my head, because I had definitely gotten way too lit last night. I had like eight messages from Jah, and as much as I hated him at the moment, I smirked as I read through the messages; a bunch of
I’m sorry and I love you
texts, the usual
I fucked up but you know I love you and want to be with you
bullshit. He wanted to talk and since my car was parked at his house, I guess I had no choice but to see his ass. I threw my phone on the bed and grabbed a bottle of Tylenol out my drawer, before stumbling out of bed and into the bathroom. Looking in the mirror, I looked a hot ass mess. My hair was all over the place, and my eyes were puffy like I had been crying. I felt embarrassed because I had gotten shit faced, and I didn’t remember a thing. I brushed my teeth and washed my face, braided my hair into one long braid, and then put some water in my hand to drink my pill down with. After all that, I was exhausted so I drug my ass back to the bed, and attempted to get a little more sleep to wear off the killer hangover I had.
I woke up a couple hours later after I felt the side of my bed dip. I opened my eyes slowly to see Jaeda staring at me, while eating a bowl of spaghetti.
“Mmm what the hell do you want, I was sleeping good,” I mumbled as I turned over and pulled the cover over my head.
“Bruh, you were so loaded last night,” she laughed as she pulled the cover from over my head. “I mean like real life on one, you was cussing everybody out and all the shit. Funny as fuck my nigga.” I turned to look at Jaeda and laughed a little.
“Man I don’t remember nothing, I’m just glad nobody let me drive because I would fa sholly have been wrapped around somebody pole, or flipped over on the freeway,” I said, shaking my head. I felt much better than I did a few hours ago. I scooted over on the bed to give Jaeda some more room, and grabbed her bowl out of her hand as she picked up the remote and turned on the TV.
“So what’s up with you and bruh, bitch? Are you going to let him explain or you gonna keep dogging him out?” Jaeda looked at me with pleading eyes.
“Girl who side you on damn? How you my sister but rooting for that dog ass nigga?” My face was twisted up; I knew Jaeda had love for Jah just like everybody else did, but man I needed time. Maybe I needed to take some time to live a little; shit, clearly Jah had been doing him so I needed to do me. Nobody knew that this wasn’t the first bitch that I found out about. I had been keeping quiet about a lot of shit with Jah’s trifling ass; this nigga was sticking his dick in a few hoes, and I couldn’t just sit around and keep letting him disrespect me, and play me behind every other female that he felt the need to keep time with. Nah, I was going to stall that nigga out, he wanted to do him, so I was going to let him because now he was going to see how Laela did her.
“Matter of fact Jae, I don’t wanna talk about blood right now, let’s just watch a movie–shit, I need you to take me to his house later so I can pick up my whip.” I laid back as I ate some more of her spaghetti, and we started watching the Whitney Houston movie on Lifetime. I watched as Bobby and Whitney interacted, and I thought about me and Jah; love hurts, and I didn’t want it to. It sucked that you fell in love with a nigga and no matter how much he did or didn’t love you, he was going to still do what he wanted, when he wanted, and how he wanted and there was nothing you could do to change it – unless he was willing to change it himself.
We were supposed to be leaving for Arizona the next week, and while this was supposed to be a get away for all of us, it was a shame that we were on bad terms. As much as I wanted things to just go back to normal, I couldn’t forget all the things that Jah had done to me. All the random ass bitches all on social media with their subliminal posts, the bitches that were steady on his page talking about kicking it or when they had kicked it was just all too much. Jah could have them hoes, because I was cool and if that bitch baby was his, there definitely wouldn’t be any kind of get back for us. All we could do at this point was get money together.
After the movie ended, I got up and hopped in the shower. I let the water cascade over my body and I cried. I shed tears for feeling played. I was young and pretty as fuck; I wasn’t about to let this nigga kill my confidence by wondering what I wasn’t, and why he was so quick to fuck with other bitches. It was crazy how you could be everything a nigga ever wanted, and still end up getting played. I was all that he could ask for, but he was just a dog. Jah was arrogant and cocky; he was sexy as hell, and a thug ass nigga that could definitely play some football, and to top it all off he was paid, so he could have any bitch he wanted – and that’s what he did. I wasn’t about to try and slow him up. I was just about to live just like a young bad bitch was supposed to. My hair was long, my money was long, and I had a cute ass sister and a few loyal ass bitches to turn up the streets with – what else did I need?
I stepped out the shower and found Jaeda in the bathroom with me, sitting on the sink as she had her face in her phone.
“Look at this pathetic bitch,” she said as she turned her phone facing me. I looked at the phone and it was a picture of Ericka and some nigga at a kick back hugged up. Ericka had a baby bottle in her hand, but it was filled with syrup and the caption said, “Feed me daddy” with some heart emojis. Jaeda shook her head.
“Ugh, this rat ain’t shit – how you posting sonogram pics one day, and the next you openly getting high all in the next nigga face.” I shrugged my shoulders at what Jaeda had just said, I was disgusted that Jah had the nerve to have this bum ass bitch pregnant. I screenshot the picture and sent it to myself, then handed Jaeda her phone back. I grabbed my phone and sent the picture to Jah with a text.
Me:
Maybe you should get a hold of ya baby mama bcus the bitch looking real triflin’ bout now. Getting high wit ya seed and fuckin on the next nigga. Lol #BumBitch #FamilyUnit ctfu
Jah:
You my family, fuck that hoe.
I shook my head as I finished getting dressed and fixed my hair. It was a nice Saturday afternoon so I decided to get cute, especially since I was gong to see Jah. I had to remind him what was over here compared to what he was chasing after. I threw on some ripped jean shorts with a black tank bodysuit that read Badd Bitches Only, with some red Chuck Taylors and some red lipstick to match. I grabbed my black Marc Jacobs backpack and some Gucci shades that I propped up on my head; my hair was wavy from brushing my curls out. Yeah, I was most definitely that bitch and if Jah didn’t know it, then there wasn’t any reason to tell him.
Jaeda had already walked out the house and was standing next to her car posing as Tamia took pictures of her so she could post on the ‘Gram. I hopped in a couple of Jaeda’s pics, and then took a couple selfies; yeah, I was about to show out today. I got comfortable in Jaeda’s passenger seat as I made a collage with my pictures and posted it on my Instagram with the caption, “Single Bitch Alert.” I sat back and sparked up one of the blunts in Jaeda’s ashtray as I turned the music up, and played “Ball Drop” by Fab and French Montana. This was my shit, so I kicked back and just let the weed and music put me in the zone. My phone buzzed indicating that I had a text.
Jah:
Don’t get fucked up, ain’t no single biih
The streets had been calm, and the money was back to flowing like it was supposed to be now that Mess had been found dead.
“Man I wish we could have been the ones to rock that nigga Mess,” I said, thinking out loud. Jaeda looked at me and turned the music down.
“Man sis, I got to tell you something.” I looked at Jaeda for a minute and passed her the weed, waiting for her to speak on whatever was on her mind.
“What’s up?” I urged her to continue.
“So the night of the party, I was leaving High Street from getting some food and I caught Mess slipping at the Valero station on Seminary. Well, I followed that nigga and when he pulled over to piss, I walked up and pushed that nigga shit.” She hit the blunt and focused back on the road. I was in shock; I couldn’t believe that my sister had caught a body, and not only that but she was just now telling me, like she said she bought a puppy or something – not to mention, it happened weeks ago.
“So why are you just now getting around to telling me?” I asked, slightly offended.
“It was so much going on the night that it happened that I just didn’t get a chance to, plus I figured the less people that knew, the better if homicide came around looking for clues.” She passed the blunt back to me and stared at me as we sat at the light, waiting for it to change.
“My bad Lae but you, Tone, and Uncle Ken are the only ones that know, so let’s keep it that way – don’t even tell Jah.” I gave her a dirty look.
“Bitch don’t play me, I ain’t even said two words to that foo and you tryna play me like I can’t keep a secret, bye bruh,” I said as I inhaled, and then let the smoke ease out my lungs.
“So how do you feel, you know, since it happened?” I asked my sister, truly concerned about her inner peace. Jaeda didn’t want this life and although I didn’t either, I was comfortable in it but I needed to make sure that this wasn’t troubling her. I would kill and die for Jaeda, and I knew Tone would as well but I wasn’t sure if Jaeda was built for this shit.
“Really, I been straight. I thought that I would be tripping, but I really been cool,” she said as she pulled up to a liquor store once we had gotten to the East. “I mean, only thing is I been having them nightmares again, but that’s just old shit. I guess they will end for good one day.” I nodded my head and we got out the car; I didn’t know what else to say.
As we walked into the liquor store, I walked down the aisle to grab a drink; my hangover had worn off when I woke back up, so I was ready to get it started yet again. As I opened the door to grab a Red Bull for Jaeda and I, this guy walked up and reached into the door before I could grab my items.
“Damn you hella rude!” I said with extra attitude; his sexy ass had reached all into me and everything. He was about 6 foot even and light complexioned with full pink lips that showed signs of weed use. He was stocky, dressed comfortably in some True Religion jeans and a simple True hoodie, but he smelled like heaven wearing Issey Miyake cologne, and looked like candy. His light bright skin seemed to glow in the bright day light, along with his set of pearl white teeth.