Read Angela's Hope (Wildflowers) Online
Authors: Leah Banicki
“You have said on many occasions that you feel that you are led by God to do his work. To make healing medicine and remedies for people is the calling you have on your heart.” Dolly said with certainty in her voice.
Corinne nodded and the few tears escaped and ran a slow race down her cheeks. “Psalm 143:10 says
Teach me to do thy will; for thou art my God: thy Spirit is good; lead me into the land of uprightness.” Dolly wiped the tears from Corinne’s cheek. “That women spoke not in any knowledge or wisdom but in fear and jealousy. I know not why she said that but her words mean nothing when you know what God has put in your heart.”
Angela sat on the other side of Corinne and put a supportive arm around her shoulders.
“Dolly is right. You are a good woman, whether you tend a home or tend a greenhouse garden. God has given gifts to all his children. To you He has blessed with courage to face many obstacles.” Angela felt so angry inside. She wanted so badly to go and speak with that malicious woman inside. But she knew her words would be nothing like the wise words that Dolly said. Angela fought a hard battle to keep her anger under control while her friend took deep breaths.
“I will be okay, friends. I should have expected this sooner. My mother faced down rumors when I was young. There will always be people who don’t understand a woman who is a little different,” Corinne said, her voice was shaking. “It was hurtful, though. I have had those same fears in the dark of night. Perhaps my miscarriage was some kind of punishment. But I know that is just a lie. Whether or not I am able to bear children is in God’s hands and whether I stay home and bake bread or work in my lab and greenhouse matters little. I will honor God by the work of my hands and trust Him to take care of me.”
Angela and Dolly both nodded as Corinne spoke. The bell on the mercantile door made all three girls jump in unison.
“I would like to beg your pardon Mrs. Grant.” JQ’s voice was heard and they all looked up from the bench in to his kind eyes. “My wife has strong opinions and I do beg your forgiveness. She gets carried away when she gets her ribbons in a twist about something. I do not agree nor condone her actions today.”
Corinne stood and Dolly and Angela mirrored her action, a united front.
“Thank you JQ, do not worry yourself. Her words are already forgiven.” Corinne looked frail and wounded but her friends were so proud of her.
“You are a good woman. I will be praying for you Mrs. Grant.” JQ said with sadness in his voice.
“Please call me Corinne. There needs to be no formality between us. Your father is like family to me.” Corinne took his hand and shook it in friendship.
“Let’s go home girls.” Corinne said with a tired voice.
“I will bring the wagon over. Stay here.” Dolly said and with a quick step she ran across the street to where they had parked the wagon, near Doc Williams’ office. Dolly’s light blue dress fluttered behind her legs as she ran.
JQ went back indoors when a customer went in.
Angela stood with Corinne and let the moment be still. When the wagon was nearly around the corner Angela finally spoke. “You are so forgiving. I am still angry with that woman. How dare she…” Angela stopped when Corinne was turning pink in the cheeks again.
“I will be forgiving her again and again. I have to try and hope it sticks.” Corinne looked tired and pitiful for a second. It made Angela angry again for the insensitivity of that woman. JQ was such a nice man, what in the world could have upset her so much to lash out at Corinne? Angela helped her friend into the wagon seat and pulled herself up, she was praying as she moved.
Lord please bless my friend, and help me to let go of this anger.
* * * * *
When the girls arrived at home Corinne wanted to take a nap and Dolly and Angela sat at the dining room table to talk over what had happened.
Violet was concerned when she saw Corinne looking so tired and flushed.
She sat down and Angela spoke first. “Corinne is upset, but I don’t know what to do.”
“Is she unwell, she was so happy this morning? She was very happy to be getting a trip to town. Did she overdo it?” Violet asked. She had a potato and a peeler in her hand and set them down with a soft thud on the table.
“No, but a woman in town said something hurtful.” Dolly said. “I will not wish to say the woman’s name but someone questioned Corinne’s work and blamed her loss of child on her not being a proper Godly wife.” Dolly stated flatly.
“No!” Violet held a hand over her mouth in astonishment. “Who would ever do such a thing?”
The three women sat in a quiet circle. They all knew the pain of harsh words. Without saying much they all agreed to pray for Corinne and keep the story to themselves. After Violet went back to finishing preparations for dinner Angela and Dolly had a short discussion. They both decided that Angela should tell Lucas, so he could talk to his wife but also be informed.
“The thing that worries me is something Mrs. Quackenbush said before she insulted her.” Angela said.
“About how she had heard a rumor?” Dolly said and Angela nodded. They both feared the same thing. Wagging tongues were the devil’s playground even more so than idle hands.
* * * * *
Lucas Grant stretched his stiff shoulders. He had been chopping wood for several hours. He had slept poorly the night before. He was more upset by the words of Mrs. Quackenbush than his wife was. The morning sun wasn’t up when he got out of his bed, restless and irritable. He had been praying since he heard. Trying to keep his temper down. Lucas had a long fuse. It took a lot to get him riled up, verbally accusing his wife of not doing her Godly duty was more than he was willing to accept with a calm demeanor.
He did not know the proper course of action. If it had been a man who had made a comment to her he may have had harsh words or even challenged him. With an overzealous gossipy woman he had a new dilemma. He felt helpless. If Angela was right about the statement about rumors, there was nothing to be done. If the town’s women wanted to spread gossip and rumor that was a prairie fire that was hard to snuff out.
Lucas grabbed his axe and spent another half hour taking his frustration out on the firewood.
At noon he saw Clive ride up to the cabin on his brown mare.
“Clive…” Lucas said in greeting. He swung his axe down and it landed solidly into the side of the stump. He left it there and walked toward his friend. Perhaps a talk with Clive would settle his nerves.
“Talk to me, Clive.” Lucas said with a bit of pleading in his voice.
“Be glad to.” Clive said. Lucas stood near his friend and Clive clapped the young man on the shoulders.
“I am at a loss.” Lucas laid his hand open in a hopeless gesture. “How do you mend a wife?”
“Oh, that is a question us menfolk have been asking since Adam and Eve. Either we hurt or someone else does. Or they act foolish and we get to reap the consequences. I figured out a man’s job of loving and protecting his wife to be a lifelong battle.” Clive sighed. “I came on a mission from my son’s abode. JQ is feeling mighty sorry about his wife’s actions. I come bearing a small package for Corinne and you.”
“Oh?”
“Yes, but I doubt if it will have many solutions to your particular problem. I have known Millicent for many years now. My son married a strong-willed woman. In many ways she has always been a firecracker but she does not have much of a sensitive side. Before my second wife, Martha, passed on, Millicent and Martha were in a tiff every other month. Martha was a lot like your wife and had a free spirit and constantly wanted to be at my side in the business part of my life. Millie would always be critical and Martha was not for listening to anyone question her motives or actions. After Martha passed away Millie calmed, this town was small and neighbors were hard to come by for long stretches especially in the winter months. I think JQ had spent a lot of breath trying to help her understand that not everyone agreed with her way of thinking. Lately I have noticed her wind is back up. She has a pack of ladies in town that have adopted her as their leader of sorts.” Clive scratched his chin.
“It is not fair to label my wife as an ungodly woman…” Lucas was exasperated. No matter who was the leader, he wanted people to keep their mouths shut about his wife.
“I know Lucas. I cannot know what to say to make this better. Is Corinne very upset?” Clive was concerned about the rumor and gossip mill in town.
“Actually not as much as I am. I was taking out my frustration on some firewood.” Lucas grimaced and stretched a stiff shoulder.
“Let’s go in and talk to her. I will hand over the package and see what your wife has to say.” Clive gave Lucas a nudge and they walked in.
Corinne and Violet were in the kitchen talking. Angela was reading by the fireplace.
“Greetings, women of the house.” Clive said. He saw all smiles from the ladies and was pleased. He was expecting a much more dour scene.
“I come bearing a gift.” Clive said and laid the package on the table.
The ladies gathered at the table. Lucas was washing at the basin down the hallway and came back into the room.
“I would just like to say before you open the package, Corinne, that I believe you are gifted woman of the Lord. I consider my life to be blessed since I have met you and your extended friends and family.” Clive looked like he wanted to continue but Corinne cut him off.
“Clive, please sit down. You know I consider you family, as does everyone here. You need not make any speeches. I am fine.” Corinne set her hand on his arm to settle him.
Clive sighed and wordlessly sat at the shiny oak table. The small package sat in the middle and everyone looked at it for a minute.
“After yesterday a gift is the least of your worries, Cori.” Angela said and everyone chuckled.
“Very true. Let’s see what the fuss is all about. Shall we?” Corinne smiled at her friends and winked at her husband who was trying very hard not to frown.
The dark wrapping came off easily and a small card slid out.
Corinne opened and read aloud.
“Dear Corinne Grant, I must begin with an apology. I was insensitive and overzealous in my speech with you yesterday afternoon. I now realize how my statements may have been received as insulting and I do beg pardon. I seek your forgiveness for my callous and unfeeling remarks. I do hope from this time forward you would consider me a friend. Mrs. Millicent Quackenbush.” Corinne finished and let out a deep breath.
She set the note down and looked at the blue painted box sitting next to the card. It opened with a creak and Corinne pulled out a cloth. Embroidered on the front – God Bless All In This Home. The embroidery was done with a delicate hand and the floral pattern around it was in bold red, blue and yellow flowers.
“Well, I guess that is that.” Corinne said and handed the embroidered cloth to Angela. “You think you can make a pillow or something with it?”
Angela nodded and set it on the table. She didn’t want to say what she was thinking.
“I have had a day to think on what Millie said. In my quiet time and prayers yesterday and today I just felt at peace. I knew when I had this dream in my heart to grow flowers and make medicines from them that it would be nearly impossible. I leaned on God and gave my dream to Him. God has been so good to me, I found a man who loves and believes in me and we work this place together. I have my friend Angie, safe and home. I have a new friend and helper in Violet. She is a constant blessing to my home and she says often that this job is a blessing to her. If a few women in town want to idly talk about me behind my back and say untruths that is their sin not mine. I feel that God has a plan for me. I am not without my own flaws and sins but I believe that I am doing the work God made just for me. Her statement about losing my child is the part that stung and I forgive her for that part. It is my job to forgive too.” Corinne stopped and wiped one tear that escaped down her cheek. “I wish to write her a note tomorrow of forgiveness and think of it never again.”
Lucas kissed his wife on the cheek.
Everyone agreed that they would all move on.
“Well, I am glad to see your heart is growing stronger by the day, my flower girl.” Clive stood up and accepted a hug from Corinne before he left.
“It is, Clive, I know that not everyone will understand what I am trying to do here. They don’t have to. As long as I feel God is for me, I cannot falter.” Corinne said and waved as he walked out.
“Angela, get out the checkerboard, I feel like whooping someone at checkers. Who is up first?” Corinne smiled and the room lit up with activity.
Chapter 31
Another week was enough rest and Corinne was ready to be back at her job, she wanted to do half days in her greenhouse and labs. In the afternoons she and Angela would take longs walks. Exploring the property and the woods. Corinne felt at ease with her friend back home. Angela was beginning to come back out of her shell again.
“I thought of this place as home but I am getting to know Oregon better now. I don’t have the pull to find Sean anymore. There is a part of me that wonders if there was something else I could have said to make him want to have me in his life. But I have to let those thoughts go. There is a life to be lived here and now. Dwelling on the past will bring me no explanations.” Angela said on afternoon. She was enjoying the game they had been playing all week, trying to find any flowers peaking up through the dried leaves from last fall. Corinne had a bag full of mushrooms that she declared as treasure.
“You need to hire more children to pick flowers for you. You know that this valley is full of treasures.” Angela winked and Corinne laughed, remembering the children from the Oregon Trail. She had handed out half pennies and peppermint candies for flowers and mushrooms, the children nicknamed her the Plant Lady. It was a good memory from those hard days and she savored the memory of those sweet faces.
“Your idea has merit. I may put you to task and head to the schoolhouse and tell the children what to look for.” Corinne winked at her friend and Angela clapped excitedly.
“Oh, really?” Angela grinned with sincerity. “That would be a delightful chore.”
Corinne nodded and they planned and plotted for the rest of their walk.
The very next day Angela left when Corinne did in the early morning. Angela walked the mile and a half to the schoolhouse. It was on the edge of Corinne and Lucas’s property, they had donated the land to the school and nearby was the new church. It was not painted yet but the outer walls were built. The Spring Creek Community Church sign was sitting next to the western most outer wall. The crisp black letters were bold and Angela was proud to be a member. This was her home, her church and perhaps someday her own children and Ted would be sitting next to her in that very building. It was a beautiful dream.
The schoolteacher was a man named Marshall Crispin. He was young, but he was doing a good job of teaching, according to the neighbors. Chelsea Grant said that Brody just loved him and his students were learning.
Angela found the schoolyard to be bustling with young bodies at play.
She saw Brody and he ran up to her. His red hair was darker than hers. He gave her a quick hug, not wanting his friend to tease him for hugging a ‘girl’.
“You haven’t started yet today?” Angela asked him.
“Nope, Mr. Crispin says we gotta run out our wiggles before we get started.” Brody said. Angela brushed a hand through his hair and laughed.
“That is very wise of the teacher.” Angela sent Brody off to play with his friends.
Angela knocked on the door of the school and was welcomed in by the teacher. Angela had met Mr. Crispin at a Sunday service but this was their first time speaking. He was polite and loved the idea. He said that she could share her proposition with the class.
Mr. Crispin rang a hand bell at the door a few minutes later and the students filed in. There were twenty-one students’, ages in range of five years old to thirteen. The older boys, Mr. Crispin explained, were only attending school classes until it was warm enough to start plowing the fields. Mr. Crispin was proud that a few of his older boys continued on with their studies and reading even when they didn’t have too.
Mr. Crispin introduced Angela and let her have the floor.
“Class, I am here today to offer you a chance to help out my dear friend, Mrs. Grant with plant collecting.” Angela went on to explain how plants help to provide good medicine. She held up a small bottle of oil, and let everyone smell the floral jasmine scent. She explained a few local plants to look for and welcomed them to gather morel mushrooms as well. She held up a morel to show them what they looked like.
Angela could see that they all were excited.
“I will come by the school on Tuesdays and Fridays, everyone is allowed to bring a small bag full. Each bag will be rewarded with a half-penny for the student and also brings a half-penny to the school for new books and supplies. I want everyone to ask permission from your parents and make sure you never go into the woods alone.” Angela made sure everyone nodded their agreement before she continued.
Angela then explained the best way to harvest plants. “You need to use a spade to loosen the dirt away from the roots because we want the whole plant. Not just the tops that are sticking out of the ground.” The children asked a few questions and Angela did her best to answer them all the best she could. She was enjoying the time and the sweet faces that were so excited at the prospect of earning extra money.
Mr. Crispin had a few questions just to clarify the simple rules. He was very thrilled with the extra money that would be coming in for books and supplies.
Angela left with a full heart and with a task to collect plants twice a week it gave her something fun to look forward to every week.
When she got back to Corinne working in her lab she shared the good news.
“Well, Plant Lady, you have a new crew of gatherers.” Angela shared with an infectious grin. Dolly and Corinne both joined with Angela and she told them all about her morning and how excited the students were.
* * * * *
July 18
th
1850
Angela and Cooper were wrist deep under a pile of rocks and dead leaves in the woods. They had plans of doing some serious fishing. They needed bait. Cooper and Angela had worked hard on making a good fishing pole over the week. They were both proud of their efforts. Cooper and Angela were thick as thieves again.
As they finally got their bait gathered and they were near their secret fishing spot, the clouds rolled in and a summer thunderstorm rolled over the mountains. They were closer to Cooper’s house so they ran for it.
Angela laughed as they both ran awkwardly with their fishing poles swinging about wildly.
Once Cooper was safely inside Angela promised him they would get their fishing in once the weather was improved. Cooper only pouted a little until his mother produced a towel and a piece of cake.
Angela passed on the cake, she saw a break in the heavy rain and she took her chance. She ran along the path back to the Grants.
She arrived soaked from head to toe but slightly exhilarated. Clive and Violet were visiting at the table. Violet was mending something and Clive was drinking coffee.
“Let me change and I will join you.” Angela said and ran back to her room. She laid her wet clothes in the wicker basket, with a promise to herself to wring them out after her visit with Clive.
She found a dry shift and a comfortable day dress that buttoned up the front. Her hair was a wet mess so she just ran a brush through it and did a loose and sloppy braid.
Clive was still there, laughing and talking to Violet.. Clive looked up and smiled in her direction when she appeared around the corner.
“What brings you out in this fair weather?” Angela asked as she plopped into the chair next to Clive.
“Well, I have to admit it was fair when I arrived, but the clouds sure did come in fast.” Clive declared.
Angela laughed and nodded. “Yes, Cooper and I had our fishing spot all picked out when the sky turned black on us.”
Clive enjoyed hearing the playful tone in her voice.
“I have something for you!” Clive announced looking at Angela expectantly.
“Oh, what, pray tell, would it be?” She said back at him just as expectantly.
“A telegram.” He said, enjoying watching her eye grow wide. “From New York.”
Angela gasped without knowing it. Violet giggled for she knew how much Angela had wanted to get this very telegram.
Clive set it on the table to see how fast she would grab it, but was surprised when she paused.
“It is good news?” Angela said with worry in her voice.
“Just read the thing, Red.” Clive said and laughed.
The white paper had only six words, but they made her face light up with joy.
Arrived safe my Angel. Love Ted
The reminder of Ted sent a mixture of emotions through Angela. She had missed him, but had found many ways to distract herself from thinking of him. Now with this telegram it made her miss him all the more. She did not know any more than those six words. Had he spoken to his mother? Would he be coming back? All these questions pressed at her.
There is a certain misery that waiting brings, knowing your happiness in on hold. It takes a level of patience and character to push it down. Angela strove every day to keep that misery at bay. She would rejoice over the simple pleasures that life brings and make plans, so many plans and write them out in her leather bound journal. The Sparks had no idea the thoughts and dreams that would flow on those cream colored pages.
Drawings and thoughts spread over the pages. Angela began finding a certain peace in dreaming on those pages. The journal would never think her silly or whimsical.