Angela's Hope (Wildflowers) (24 page)

* * * * *

The steps on the stairs made Amber and Angela both jump with a start. They were both a bit warm and drowsy in their hour of leisure. Clive knocked softly then peeked in. He hadn’t wanted to wake up the baby so the new system had been adopted. Ted came in after Clive and they both removed their boots and set them by the door.

“New dress, Red?” Clive whispered. He bent in half and kissed her cheek.

“Yes, and your lace collar. Thank you.” She kissed his cheek back and he pretended a halfhearted swoon.

Gabe came from the bedroom with a bright-eyed boy in his arms. Silas seemed to have recovered completely from his fussy day to having a pleasant demeanor for the evening.

Silas went happily into his highchair and played contentedly with the few toys set on the ledge.

“You look lovely.” Ted said quietly near Angela’s ear when everyone else had left them alone to go into the dining room.

“Thanks, Amber got carried away with my hair though. I think she thought I was going to a ball.” Angela smiled and felt the lovely warm feeling spreading through her. Ted made her feel peaceful and safe somehow.

“I would gladly take you to a ball, Milady.” Ted bowed and then sat down next to her in a wooden chair he dragged close to her.

“Well, I would be honored kind sir.” Angela said softly, enjoying the silly nothings.

Soon they were called to the table and dinner was a success, lots of laughs and sharing to be had.

After dinner the family sat in the living room and talked of business and city rumblings. Angela was distracted and lost in Ted’s eyes for most of the conversation.

Clive made an announcement that saved them from a slow insanity.

“I think the rain has finally stopped. You kids get out and see fer yerselves.”

Angela and Ted needed no more invitation and excused themselves.

“I don’t want your dress to get muddy.” Ted said concerned when they got to the street. The mud had been worse but it was pretty wet.

“It’s dark fabric and easy to clean. That’s why I picked it. I am no dainty flower.” Angela said and grabbed his arm. They walked to the pier overlooking the bay.

Ted used his jacket to clear the water off a rock ledge and they sat watching the light fade into dusk.

“You have something to say.” Angela said. She liked the feel of his arm tucked next her but his silence was interesting.

“Yes.” Ted said nervously.

“Take yer’ time.” Angela said, grinning and hoping he would be able to talk soon. He was making her nervous.

Ted laughed, leaned and rested his head on her shoulder. The action melted her heart.

“I have some things to say, some good, some bad.” Ted blurted out. Hating the way it sounded.

“Bad news first. That way we end on the good.” Angela was trying to stay positive ignoring the jolt in her stomach.

“My time in San Francisco is coming to an end soon.” Ted lifted his head and looked at the side of her face.

“I knew you would be heading back to your family.” Angela said. Her voice was a little stiff.

“I have to go and make sure my mother and sisters are okay. I want to bring them west.” Ted said simply. Hoping she understood his sense of duty.

“What happens if your mother wants to stay there?” Angela asked the first thought that popped into her head. She was getting left behind again.

“I have thought of that. I have saved enough to get her settled but I will be coming back. I have a very good reason to come back, ya know.” Ted’s voice had the hint of a smile.

Angela found enough bravery to look into his eyes. She was scared to see weakness there, or even lies; promises of something and then just another person to leave her.

“I have been working hard and planning a future. I just cannot finish the plan until I know my family is safe. My sense of honor cannot do anything else.” Ted said seriously.

Angela finally let out a breath she’d been holding. It clicked into her brain what he was saying. It was the kind of man he was, one that takes care of his responsibilities. It made her love him more. It settled her heart and calmed her fears.

“I trust you Ted, I know your heart is honest and you will do what’s right.” Angela kissed him after she spoke.

Ted wiped tears from her cheek after her sweet kiss.

“We have a few weeks to talk and spend time together before I go. I am going by land. It will be faster. No wagons, but just heading back on horseback with a group of scouts that are friends with Clive. We are meeting up in Oregon City and leaving once the mountain passes are clear.

“I will pray you have a safe journey. The overland route is a hard one.” Angela said softly. She didn’t want her voice giving away as much emotion as she felt.

Ted stopped talking and looked into her green eyes for a long moment. Leaving her was going to be the hardest thing he had ever chosen to do.

“Ya know, watching my father die aboard that ship was difficult. I know I don’t talk about it much but I couldn’t understand how he had done it. How he had left my mother and two sisters behind when my Uncle Hank had pestered and prodded him for weeks about coming here. The funny part is that my uncle hadn’t even paid his fair portion. At the last minute he had come up with some lame excuse why he was short the ship fare. My dad had taken the crop sale and sold all the cattle to pay our way. And also then pitched in some for Hank, I keep thinking over every word him and ma had before he left. How she cried and begged him not to go. Just like your eyes are doing to me now. Here you sit so brave trying to accept one more person leaving you behind. I cannot be a good man, no matter what I do. All I have wanted to tell you is how much I love you and all I can think about is my Ma stuck on our barely functioning farm back east and wondering if they will survive to the spring. Then I think about you and wondering how much a chance I will have earning your love if I leave you here.” Ted’s eyes got misty at the magnitude of the moment.

“You love me?” Angela said, wiping a tear but her face was no longer as sad.

“Desperately.” Ted said and grabbed her cold hands.

“You don’t have to earn my love anymore. You already have it, Thaddeus Greaves.” Angela stated without blinking.

“How can you, knowing I have to leave. I hate to, but I have to.” Ted said again. He couldn’t believe that she could forgive him for that.

“My heart is growing stronger. I can thank God for that. I have said goodbye to many people. There has not been one person I have said goodbye to that I ever stopped loving.” She paused and took a deep breath. “With every part of me I will pray and wait, Ted. Just as I pray and pray for my brother, and pray and wait to see the sister of my heart, Corinne.  My love for them only grows. Just as it will for you. If you never wrote a word to me, and I never heard an utterance from those lips again I would still love you. Your honor and duty to your family only increases it. You are willing to face the harsh wilderness to be certain of their safety. To me, there is no higher charge than to take care of your family. Go with my blessings. I will write to you, and if you allow it so I will write to your mother. It is the least I could do after all, she made you. I am quite thankful to her for raising such an a honorable young man.” Angela gave him a fierce hug and held on and let her tears fall over her cheeks and they spilled over his jacket.

“I have something for you.” Ted said as she finally pulled away from the long embrace.

Angela smiled and just waited. Ted saw the tear stains on her cheek but she was smiling. He could not contain the love for this girl. She was everything to him.

He pulled out the green box and saw her grin get wider.

“A gift. Oh Ted.”

He placed it in her hands and she quickly turned it and began to open it. The sky was starting to turn to dusk but the light behind them showed enough for her to see the silver bracelet.

She picked it up and sighed. “It’s so lovely.” She grabbed the note and saw his words.
With all my Love, Ted

“Help me get it on.” Angela admired the decorative chain and wanted to see it on her wrist.

Once it was on, she held it out to read the single word engraved on the silver oval centerpiece of the bracelet. ~ HOPE ~

“It is the perfect gift. I love it so much Ted.” Angela hugged him again and he kissed her as she tried to sit back.

“I thought it was the perfect thing for us. Not just you but also for me. God has shown me much about myself since I came to California. All I have is the hope for the future. God is helping me hang on to that hope as you do with your brother. I want you to remember to never give up on the Hope for us.” Ted said and kissed her again.

“It is the perfect word for us. We will live on hope.” She held his hand and leaned on his shoulder. They had said so much tonight. For now she wanted just to enjoy being near him. They walked back after a few more minutes. They spent the evening playing checkers and talking with the Quakenbush family.

Chapter 23
- Corinne

April 1850 – Willamette Valley

Corinne’s first batch of lavender oil was a success. They had the labels attached, the logo of Grant’s Grove at the top of each label made her so proud, surprisingly drawn by Lucas. It was a flowering tree.  The brown bottles were filled and topped with a fancy dropper with a rubber tip. Corinne always appreciated it when a pharmacy included the droppers so she found an affordable way to do it. The Grants now had enough dropper bottles stored away for two years of sales. Corinne was pleased with her success and was working with Dolly over the last few weeks packing up the orders for her first batch. It was harder than she expected to get the organization down but with the help of Clive and her father, Corinne got her orders into a working system.

Lucas had a few men working with him constantly clearing ground for more planting. There was half the acreage left to plant but lots of rocks, bushes and small trees would have to be cleared. Lucas was always happiest when planning something for the fields. He was so excited about irrigation and how the land was so fertile and how they should handle crop rotation for the best product. Corinne felt they had an amazing partnership and their newlywed stage was going well. The first year had its adjustments, learning to accept each other’s strengths and weaknesses was a challenge.

Corinne felt so lucky to have found a man that accepted her dream for something outside the normal role for a woman. Her strengths in the kitchen were fair to mediocre. She could make a few staples but Lucas was a good cook himself, and shared in the duties when Marie didn’t drop off dinners. The short walk between the properties made this arrangement a little too easy. Corinne was nervous for a long while that Marie would feel used or under-appreciated, but soon she found out that Marie Harpole showed her love with food, and she took pride in taking care of her stepdaughter while she conquered the world.

Corinne and Dolly loaded up the last box of the day and headed out of the warehouse behind the greenhouse and into the rainy weather.

“Are you going to stay with Lucas and I tonight or ride over to Chelsea’s?” Corinne asked Dolly.

“I think I will stay close by. The clouds over Mount Hood seem …” Dolly searched for the word in English. “Dangerous. Yes?”

Corinne couldn’t tell if Dolly was asking or telling but her half Hopi Indian friend was picking up English well and with a glance to the east she indeed saw some dark clouds lingering.

“Good, let’s get inside.” Corinne grabbed her friend’s hand and pulled her across the path to the Grant cabin. The lights inside were glowing in the window.

They wiped their feet on the rag rug at the entrance.

* * * * *

Corinne had gone early to the doctor’s office to take a look at her healing rash. She was going to stop by the post office to ask about mail from California territory too if she had time.

The doctor and his wife Persephone were so kind and they had a lovely chat before the examination and Dr. Williams said the balm had been working.

She was staying away from the sticky sap and things were clearing up fast.

“Doctor, I think it’s silly but two different women have told me that they think I am pregnant.” Corinne stated bluntly when she got brave enough.

“Do you have any symptoms?” He asked.

“Just tired, and my dresses are getting tighter across the chest, and it is tender there too.” Corinne blushed. She had helped this man deliver two babies within the last year but she blushed over such silly things now. She felt foolish.

They discussed her monthly flow and the fact that she hadn’t realized that she had missed her cycle for several weeks. The doctor supposed her to be several months pregnant. He gave her some good doctoral advice about being careful on horseback and overworking.

“I know your drive is like your father’s, you will need to remember to eat consistently. No skipping meals just because you are busy.” The doctor knew her too well.

She suddenly was at a loss for words. She thanked the doctor politely and said little to his wife but the perfunctory goodbyes.

She went through her errands in a fog. She had really felt Marie and Dolly were being silly when they claimed she was pregnant. She didn’t give it any tangible thought. Now with the doctor’s agreement she felt different. Her mind raced with ideas and thankfulness and a little bit of fear of the unknown.

She rode the buggy home then wondering where her husband might be, took a walk to her greenhouse to see if anyone knew where she could find him.

She had good luck for he was there. He was replacing the metal part of a spade and he looked up to her and smiled charmingly.

“Hello, husband.” Corinne said simply.

“Hello, my lovely.” Lucas replied. He saw her secret smile and took a longer look and smiled back in curiosity. He had playful eyes and his smile soon matched.

“Come for a walk with me if you have time.” Corinne said. She saw him nod and set the tool down.

The wintery air was brisk but not cold enough for snow in the valley. The mountain passes were well covered but the valley had very little snowfall that stayed for long. Lucas and Corinne walked outside, hand in hand, for only a minute before Lucas broke the silence.

“Are you going to tell me? Or shall I guess?” Lucas swung her hand behind his back forcing her closer to him.

“I am trying to form the words to say it right.” Corinne said quietly. With Lucas staring at her so intently, it was distracting.

She gathered her courage and blurted it out.

“You are going to be a father!” Corinne said loudly with a laugh at the end.

Lucas’s free arm grabbed around her and he kissed her passionately then let out a whoop.

“My darling,” Lucas kissed her and looked deep in her eyes and whooped again. He said so many words with those eyes of his.

“You are going to make a wonderful mother.” Lucas said slowly and sincerely and the words brought tears to her eyes. She wasn’t certain why.

Lucas wiped away her tears with his strong hand and they wordlessly walked to her parents. Lucas knew she would want to share the news.

* * * * *

Marie shrieked and laughed with abandon when the news was shared. John Harpole gave his daughter a bear hug and had misty tears in his own eyes. Cooper made everyone laugh when he made his presence known.

“It better be a boy.” He stated emphatically.

They all laughed.

“It will be what God made it to be.” Marie told Cooper with a laugh. Her smile was huge and her dimples deep in her pretty cheeks.

Corinne and Lucas stayed late and ate supper with them, talking of all things to do with babies and family. It was only when Corinne schedule was brought up that Corinne felt her first bit of discomfort.

“I am glad the doctor has warned you about not over doing it. I think I can finally convince you of the housekeeper we so desperately need.” Lucas stated lightheartedly.

Corinne’s face dropped. Lucas noticed that look in her eyes. Her brick wall was going up.

“I do not want to hire help!” Corinne said with finality.

Marie saw the struggle and tried to add wisdom to the conversation. “Dear, I am so thankful for the help I get. I love to be in the kitchen but between feeding so many families and helping your father with management and helping with Cooper’s school lessons, there is just not enough me to go around. Having help is nothing to be ashamed of.”

“I know it is not a sin or anything…” Corinne was starting to feel defensive. She felt strongly about her convictions and didn’t want to discuss it in front of her father and stepmother. “It leaves a sour taste in my mouth to even discuss it.”

“Well darling, I know you told me of how your Aunt’s household was run. But not everyone mistreats the people in their employ.” Her father chimed in, adding to her humiliation.

Corinne was getting frustrated. How could she explain her feelings to them when they sounded foolish even to herself? But she did NOT want to budge.

“I think Corinne is getting upset. I will take her home so she can rest.” Lucas said wisely. He hadn’t meant to push her but he thought maybe her parents could help him in this long-standing disagreement between him and Corinne.

Corinne and Lucas said their goodbyes awkwardly and they were silent on the walk to their property. What had started as a beautiful day had ended with Corinne in anger and not even willing to speak to her husband.

The cabin was dark and cold when they opened the door and Lucas was quick to get a lantern lit and get the fireplace started, the night was too early to go to bed but Corinne wanted to be in a different room than her husband.

A few minutes later she sat on the bed she shared with her husband in the dark room, just pouting.

How dare he bring up the servant issue?
Lucas knew she had repeatedly told him over and over how she despised the idea and would not do it.

The plan had been working so far because she got help from Marie and Chelsea upon occasion. They weren’t servants and it worked out perfectly. Well, most times. Sometimes she could tell that certain days it was a burden on them but Corinne tried not to abuse them. They always said they were glad to help.
Why did Lucas insist on having his way?

“You want some heat in here while you plot my demise?” Lucas asked from the doorway. It startled her and she gave him a glare. His sense of humor was usually charming, but she was in no mood for it.

Wordlessly he started a fire in the fireplace. Corinne felt awkward with him there and wished he would hurry up with the task so she could go back to her own thoughts.

When he was through he came and stood in front of her. Corinne willed herself to keep her eyes down and not look up at him no matter what.

He finally kneeled in front of her. He took a hand and brushed it along her cheek tenderly. She only glared at her husband.

“Don’t try and charm me now, Lucas. I feel betrayed and don’t want to talk to you right now.” Corinne said flatly.

“Betrayed is a strong word.” Lucas said calmly. She did not like arguing with him when he was calm.

“You know how I feel yet you brought it up in front of my father and Marie.” Corinne sniffed and tears started flowing. “How dare you?” She said weakly.

Her composure was lost and though she knew she was overreacting she sobbed into her hands. Lucas tried to comfort her but she pushed him away. “Please leave me alone.” She asked through her sobs.

Lucas nodded and left her as she asked. She lay on the bed and sobbed the night away.

* * * * *

Corinne awoke with hairpins poking her head and she was still wearing her clothes from the night before. She had never even crawled under the covers. Lucas had not used the bed. The first thought she had was to be mad but the second thought had a little more reason. She had asked him to leave. Her head was aching from crying and she felt around her head with her hands and her hair must have looked a fright. Pins were falling out and she could feel snarls and clumps of hair that had escaped and tangled as she tossed and turned. She probably looked like she felt – dreadful.

She remembered the evening and felt a surge of her same feelings. But she wasn’t sure how this could be resolved. She was allowed to have an opinion in her own house. She pulled the pins out the best she could and brushed out her brown hair. It probably looked a little funny after sleeping in the pins but she tied it back with a ribbon and let it be. She changed into a different dress and left the wrinkled one on the bed. She would deal with it later when she had time.

She peaked out the door and saw Lucas setting in his cushioned chair by the fire.

Blast! She was hoping to avoid talking to him yet. She had no idea what to say.

“Good morning wife,” Lucas said politely.

Corinne wanted to grimace but kept her composure. It’s hard to deal with someone that remains calm through everything.

“Good morning Lucas.” She replied.

“There’s coffee for you.” He said.

“Thanks.” Corinne muttered. It smelled good but she didn’t want to admit it.

She looked around the kitchen and realized there was nothing to eat. Usually Marie or Chelsea would bring a basket of bread or something by for them. She couldn’t remember whose turn it was.

“Has Marie come by yet with anything for breakfast or lunch?” Corinne broke her silence.

“Yes, but I sent her away.” Lucas said and took a big swig of coffee. He gave Corinne a look that said he was ready for the fight that was coming.

“You sent her away?” Corinne said slowly.

“Yes, I told her we appreciated her help but we can do our own cooking from now on. She has been a blessing but we have been taking advantage of her kindness.” Lucas stated and sipped more of his coffee.

Corinne was deciding in that moment whether all her manners were going to be used for good or she was going to toss them out the window.