Always His (Crazed Devotion #1) (5 page)

It took everything I had not to argue with that comment. He sure as shit didn’t find it hard to let go of me once before. I looked up just in time to meet his gaze. He winked, and I rolled my eyes, busying myself again. Why did he still affect me like he did? Avoiding him was going to be a whole lot harder than I thought.

“I need another shot over here, hot stuff,” Liz hollered in my direction as she slapped the bar.

“I think you need a bottle of water or a steaming pot of coffee,” I told her without looking up.

“You said if I came tonight and ran interference you would supply the booze. Now that Mr. Buff and Yummy is here, you can’t just cut me off.”

I hung my head in embarrassment. I guess I’d completely forgotten about her loud mouth when alcohol was involved. I looked up and narrowed my eyes at her, trying to force her to shut up, but she just grinned as if she’d completed a goal, and I knew then what she was doing. I snagged her half-empty beer out of her hand just as she lifted it to her mouth.

“Hey,” she protested. “That’s mine.”

“It was yours. That was before you set some matchmaker plan into action, which I can assure you isn’t gonna work,” I told her as I moved down the bar, dropping her beer in the garbage on the way. I busied myself waiting on customers and avoiding anyone near Ryker or looking in his direction.

I could still feel his eyes on me, and on occasion he would chuckle at something Liz said. She and I were going to have a long talk about her loyalty to her best friend when she was sober tomorrow.

Elle stepped up to the bar, rattling off the drink order for one of her tables, and I began mixing the drinks and placing them on her tray.

“I have to admit Liz is right.” I looked up from the drink I was preparing and arched an eyebrow in question. Elle was staring in Ryker’s direction, and I knew immediately what she was referring to. Averting my eyes once more, I chose not to respond, only it didn’t stop her from continuing. “The Marines have done him well. I mean, look at those arms. You can’t pretend he doesn’t get your blood boiling.”

“That was a long time ago, Elle. Things change,” I told her as I set the last drink on her tray and dried my hands on the towel I’d thrown over my shoulder.

“Well, then you wouldn’t mind if I gave it a shot, right?” she asked and clicked her tongue on the last word.

When I looked at her with a panicked expression, she laughed. “That’s what I thought.” She picked up her tray and smiled. “Darlin’, you can keep trying to pretend, but I see right through you.”

I took a chance and looked back down the bar, only to find that Ryker was still watching me. Part of me wanted to go around the bar, walk right up to him, and tell him how badly he had hurt me, yet another part of me wanted to climb over the bar and straight in to his lap. I had missed him with every fiber of my body for so long that having him this close made going to him so hard to resist.

A large hand slapped down on the edge of the bar, and I jumped in surprise. It shoved a fifty dollar bill toward me, and I looked up into Tyler’s eyes. “What’s this?”

“You said you needed money.” He was drunk. I could tell from his bloodshot eyes.

“No, I said you needed to start supporting your daughter. I never said I needed money.”

“You need to fucking make up your mind,” he said as he pulled back the fifty.

“I need to make up my mind?” I said in disbelief, and all the irritation that had been wound up in me so tight broke free. “Your sorry ass needs to be a man. I’ve raised Tori on my own since she was born. I work and do all I can to give her a home and everything she needs to be happy. And her pitiful excuse for a father shows up every few months offering me a damn fifty for my trouble?”

“You just love making this all my fault, don’t you?” Tyler said as he shook his head, acting like I was overreacting.

“Is there a problem here?” Ryker’s voice caught our attention, and Tyler’s face morphed into an expression of hate.

“Well, looks like the local hero’s back in town,” Tyler said as he squared his shoulders and faced Ryker. The comparison was humorous. Their builds were similar, but Ryker had at least four inches on Tyler and wore it so much better.

“This a family matter, between me and Nicole, about
our
daughter.”

I couldn’t help the sarcastic laugh that escaped me. They, of course, both turned to look at me. “You’re joking, right?
Our
daughter? Don’t you mean
my
daughter? You were just the sperm donor. It takes a whole hell of a lot more than that to be a father.” Tyler had no idea what a sweet little girl Tori was. He had no idea what her favorite food was or her favorite color. He was worthless.

I saw the anger in his eyes as he took a step in my direction, and everything seemed to move in fast-forward.

I
hadn’t intended to say a word. I had watched Nicole ignore me for close to an hour. I watched as she moved around behind the bar in jeans that stretched tight over an ass I remember fondly. She was still the same sinful girl, only now she was a woman.

A woman I had every intention of making mine again, one way or another. I just had to find the best way to break down the walls she had built up around her.

The situation was tense enough, and it only got worse when Tyler entered the bar. I gripped my beer bottle tighter as he approached Nicole. It took everything I had not to rush at that piece of shit and bust him right in his cocky mouth. He and I had never seen eye-to-eye, and his connection to my Nicole only intensified my hate for him.

I did my best to remain seated, but when he raised his voice, I couldn’t keep my distance. Whether she was mine or not, no one was going to mistreat her.

But everything went to shit real fast.

Tyler lunged toward Nicole, and she jutted out her chin in defiance. She refused to back down. I, on the other hand, gave him no time to reach his mark.

I grabbed the back of his shirt and jerked him away from her, spun him around, and slammed his back against the wall. “Wrong fucking move,” I said as I stepped in closer. “You ever lunge at her like that again and I’ll break your fucking neck.”

“You ain’t shit, Ryker,” he slurred.

My blood was rushing to my head as I did my best not to wipe that smirk off his face. “Say that again and I’ll be more than happy to prove you wrong.” I held his stare, daring him to repeat his earlier comment.

“Enough,” Nicole said from my side as she placed her hand on my arm. Her touch soothed me just enough that I looked toward her, temporarily letting my guard down.

And that was his in. All the coward needed was one moment of weakness, and Nicole always made me feel weakened. Her eyes grew wide as she looked toward Tyler, and I followed her line of vision just in time for his fist to connect with my jaw.

I lifted my hand to my chin and wiggled my jaw, doing my best to massage the slight ache his punch caused, and chuckled. “That all you got?” I taunted. “I always knew you were a pussy.”

The rage that covered his features was comical. His face turned red, and he lunged at me, swinging his fist once more, only to miss. I guess I shouldn’t have chuckled at his lack of control, but that shit was funny as hell. He looked like a girl swinging his arms uncontrollably, stumbling around.

But the humor faded fast when Nicole stepped between us to break up the fight and took a right hook to her eye.

Anger shot through me as I nudged her out of the way and punched Tyler, laying his ass out.

“Damn it, baby, are you okay?” I gripped her face in my hands and tilted it up to get a good look at her eye. The corner of it had a blood spot, and the surrounding area had already turned a bright purplish-pink.

“Motherfucker,” I said as I turned back to Tyler, not giving a shit that he still lay half against the wall, half slumped on the floor. I wanted to break his fucking face.

“I got this,” Greg, a guy who worked behind the bar, said as he stepped in front of Tyler, blocking my view. “Go help Nicole.”

I was torn between going to her and beating the ass of the guy who’d hurt her. But she won. She’d always win.

I followed Liz as she led Nicole to the back office. She had sobered up pretty quickly, it appeared.

“Sit,” Liz insisted as she eased Nicole into a chair and knelt before her.

“I’m fine,” Nicole tried to get up, but Liz pushed her back down.

“Oh honey, you ain’t fine. In fact, you are quickly beginning to look like someone that’s having one hell of an allergic reaction. It’s like you’re trying to grow a whole new head out of your eye socket.”

I hung my head and shook it. Liz had a way with words.

“I brought ice,” Elle said as she rushed into the room. She looked back over her shoulder as she passed me and winked. Damn girl hadn’t changed, either. She was just as crazy as her older sister.

“I need to get back out to the bar,” Nicole said.

“Nope, we got it, no worries,” Elle said as she grabbed Liz by the arm and began dragging her out of the room. Of course Liz resisted until she saw me standing at the door. Her face lit up and she beamed.

“Take care of her,” she said as they both exited. Liz had apparently just become my ally in this battle for Nicole’s love.

“I’m fine, honestly. He hits like a girl,” Nicole said with a gentle laugh.

Her comment made my stomach ache.

“Has he ever hit you before?” I asked, kneeling in front of her and placing my hands on her knees.

“No, Ryker,” she said, offering me a smile for the first time since I returned. “He’s never hit me before. In fact, after that one night, I refused to let him touch me in any way.”

I looked down at her legs, trying to wipe away the image of him touching her at all. It pissed me off that he was given that privilege. He didn’t deserve it.

“You know whatever it is you’re picturing, I can guarantee you’re not even close.” Nicole sounded sad, pulling me back out of my head. “The only good that ever came from that night with Tyler was Tori. If it wasn’t for her, I would completely regret that night.”

I slid my hands up her thighs and gripped her hips as I nudged my way between her knees. I just needed to be a little closer.

“I wish that had been me,” I whispered. “That I was the man that got you pregnant.”

“But you weren’t,” she said in return.

Silence settled over the room as I looked at her and she looked down at my body positioned between her thighs. “I’m sorry,” I said, my throat burning with the words. “I thought I was doing the right thing, because I didn’t want to hold you back. But now I wish I hadn’t.”

She lifted her head, and her eyes were filled with tears. I cupped her jaw and forced her to keep her head up as I said what I had to say.

“I love you, Nicole. I never stopped. It’s always been you in my heart. I meant what I said all those years ago: I’m forever yours, baby.” Without giving her a chance to fight it, I placed my lips against hers, and for a moment everything felt like it had fallen into place.

Until she pulled back from me and I was forced to let her go. I sat back on my feet as she stood and rushed from the room, and I felt like my heart had split in two.

I couldn’t help but wonder if the way I felt in that moment had been how she felt all those years ago.