Always and Forever (29 page)

Ten minutes later, the front door flew open, and Dad stepped inside, carrying a stack of pizza boxes. The air around him thickened with the delicious aroma of pepperoni, gobs of melted cheese, and peppers. My stomach growled loudly in response.

“Hungry, princess?” A wide grin cracked his face in half, as my stomach rumbled again.

“Starving. I could probably devour three of those all by myself.” I extricated myself from Kal's grip and bounced up to my feet, arms outstretched to relieve him of his appetizing burden.

Sheer panic leaped into his eyes at my sudden movement, and he raced to juggle the pizza boxes in one hand, the other reaching out to me.

“I'm fine, Daddy,” I assured him, gracing him with my most brilliant smile, and then snatched the boxes out of his arms. “Mom and Ben better be close behind you, because I'm not waiting to eat.” I headed down the hall toward the kitchen, leaving Dad to turn astonished eyes on Kal.

“She's had a good day,” he said by way of explanation. “A really good day.”

“And, it's only going to get better now that I have sustenance,” I called back. “Are you guys coming, or am I going to have my own little pig-out in here?”

The game was paused, and all the guys marched into the kitchen at the same time that Mom and Ben arrived home. We gathered around the table, all talking loudly at once. Mom, seated next to me, caught my hand beneath the table and squeezed, a luminous smile perched on his lips. She hadn't smiled at me like that in…well, I couldn't even remember when.

“So, Mia,” Ben piped up from the other end of the table. “The regional championships are tomorrow. Coach told me tonight I'm going to be starting at center.”

“That's great, Benj.” I smiled, happy that Ben could still have a life and enjoy himself even though I had been stealing a lot of the spotlight lately.

“You're coming to the game tomorrow, right?” he pressed.

I darted a quick glance at Mom, who was already shaking her head fiercely. “No, Benj, I'm not. I think it might be a little too big of an outing for me. You know, with all the steps and the long walk to the parking lot and all.” At his crestfallen look, my heart just about shattered. “But Mom and Dad will be there. They'll cheer you on, and then we'll watch the video of it when you get home, so you can narrate for me.”

“We're not leaving you alone, Mia,” Dad said, his tone final.

“Ricki can come over,” I offered. “We could have a girls' day.”

“You're not being left alone,” he repeated. “And, Ricki does not count as company. Either your mother or I will stay home—”

“But I'm fine, Dad. I haven't come home early from school all week, and most of last week for that matter. And, you can't just forget about Ben because you're worried about me. That's not fair to him or me.”

“And what if you get sick, Mia? What if you fall and no one's here to help you? We can't take that chance.”

“Um, Mr. Gordon?” Kal spoke up, more than a little nervously. “My dad's going to be home all day tomorrow. So will I. We could keep an eye on Mia. Make sure she's alright.”

“I don't know,” Dad began, but I could already see him teetering.

Ben was on one side of him, tears filling his eyes that his big day was going to be ruined, Mom on the other, sending desperate, beseeching messages to him with her eyes, and then there was me, glaring at him in irritation. Yes, I knew what he was worried about, but enough was enough already. I was fine right now. I would be alright for one measly day. I didn't need a babysitter.

“I'll plant myself right here, all day long,” Kal offered. He reached under the table and laced his fingers through mine, squeezing reassuringly. “I'll bring some homework and get it done here in the kitchen while Ricki and Mia do whatever girly things they want to do. They won't even notice I'm here, but I'll be within shouting distance in case they need me.”

Ha. I could say something about needing him, but it wouldn't be anything Mom and Dad would appreciate. But I'd definitely tell him later. Or show him.

“Alright,” Dad finally gave in, and Ben whooped in delight. “But you'll call us if anything, and I mean anything, happens. You hear me? She even so much as sneezes, I want to know about it.”

“Dad!” Could he be any more over-protective?

“Yes, sir,” Kal agreed, readily.

“It's settled, then.” He blew out a heavy breath, leaned toward Mom, and squeezed her hand in reassurance. “It'll be fine,” he told her, but he really didn't look like he believed that himself.

Ben started chattering excitedly about the game tomorrow, and Dave threw out some advice. Being the varsity captain, Ben listened carefully to everything Dave had to offer. He'd do well tomorrow. I just knew it.

And, so would I.

*   *   *

“Here's my cell phone number, and this is Mr. Gordon's cell number,” Mom told Kal, running her finger down the list that she'd just given him. “Dr. Shreve's cell and then Dr. Bernstein's and Dr. Lambert's after-hours numbers. And this is the list of her medications, and how to dispense them. They're all up in her medicine cabinet if she needs them. And, if you have any questions at all—” She stopped abruptly, turned panicked eyes on Dad. “I really don't think this is a good idea. Maybe one of us should stay—”

“It's fine,” he told her. “Kal's a good kid, responsible. He can handle her for one afternoon. Isn't that right?”

“Can we maybe not talk about me like I'm not standing right here?” I asked, irritated. “I'm sixteen, you know, not six.”

All three of them ignored me as Kal reassured them that I'd be alright, and he had everything under control. After repeated promises that he'd call if anything—no matter how small—happened, they trudged out the door, walking slowly toward the car and casting several uncertain glances back toward the house.

“Seriously,” I huffed as we watched their car angle out onto the road. “They act like they're never going to see me again.”

He slid up behind me, pressed his chest to my back, and looped his arms around my waist to drag me in even closer. “They're just worried, babe,” he murmured in my ear, warm breath cascading over my skin that turned my insides liquid. “I'd probably be acting the same way if I had to leave your side for a whole day.” He sighed dramatically to emphasize his point. “As it is, the minute Ricki gets here, I'll be exiled to the kitchen. Can't say I'm looking forward to that.”

I turned around, slid my palms slowly up his chest and around his neck to tangle my fingers in his dark curls. “Well then, I guess it's a good thing she's not coming over, isn't it?”

His nostrils flared slightly, his eyes going dark, molting into hot, liquid chocolate. “I get you all to myself?” he asked, softly. His voice dipped into that deep husky timbre that sent shivers racing through me. “For the whole day?”

Breath caught and held prisoner in my chest, I could do nothing but nod.

“That's not a good thing, baby,” he murmured, brushed his lips against mine. “It's a great thing.”

“I thought you'd say that,” I laughed as he scooped me up in his arms and carried me up to the bedroom. Once he had me laid out on the bed, he settled down next to me, and grabbed up the remote.

“So, what do you want to do?” he asked, fiddling with the controller until the guide came up on the screen. “There's an
Iron
Chef
marathon on.”

I snatched the remote from his hand and turned the television off. “What I had in mind,” I said in as seductive a voice as I could come up with but probably came off as sounding stupid. “We don't need television for.”

“Really?” He scooted down beside me. His hand skimmed across my concave stomach and left behind a fiery trail of riotous nerve endings. He swooped in close, rubbed his nose over mine. “What were you thinking? This?” He dropped a teasing kiss on the end of my nose. “Or this?” A nip at the corner of my mouth.

“Hmm…a little of both,” I gasped, my fingers gliding up along his sides and around his back. “But with less talking. More action.”

He chuckled softly and feathered a line of light kisses along my jaw. “I can definitely do that.”

My eyes slid closed as I listed lazily in his arms. His kisses kept my senses rioting while I soaked up every tiny piece of him. My fingers skittered down his back until I found the hem of his t-shirt. Skin met skin as I slipped my hands beneath the fabric, palms grazing the hot flesh of his back as I pushed the shirt
up, up, up
. Taking the hint, he leaned back just long enough to whip the shirt over his head, exposing miles and miles of bronzed skin the color of sun-warmed honey to my greedy eyes. Then, he was back, his mouth fused to mine in a kiss that left me gasping and clinging to him, all the while aching for more.

“Oh, Kal.” His name floated off my lips in long, drawn out moan.

My shirt glided up, too, and I gasped out his name again as cool air kissed my stomach. There was only a moment's hesitation on my part, a fraction of a second where I worried that Kal would see just
how caved in my stomach had become from so many meals either being missed or regurgitated because the cancer just wouldn't give me a moment's peace. What would he think when he ran his fingers up my sides and not only felt my ribs protruding but could see the skin shrunken in on them, with nothing left to pad the bones? Ironic how just six months ago, I'd worried and worried over needing to lose ten pounds. In that moment, I would've given anything to have that extra cushion back, plus a little more.

“You're so beautiful, my Mia,” he breathed against my neck as he nuzzled his face against the throbbing pulse he found there. As if reading my mind and anticipating my every fear, his hand skimmed across my ribcage, stopped just below the rise of my breasts where I was probably the boniest, the most disgusting. “Perfect in every single way.”

“You're just being nice,” I sniffled. Tears of wretched shame gathered and spilled over much too quickly to be stopped. “I'm a walking skeleton.”

He leaned back, his lips pursed as he looked down at me. Then, slowly, he lifted my shirt even further up. He batted my hands away when I tried to stop him. Up and over my head it went, landing somewhere on the floor. It took everything I had not to squirm away from him, hide my grotesque form from his gaze. He didn't say anything, just shimmied down my body until his hot breath fanned across my navel.

A gasp leaped out of me as his mouth settled on my skin, and his tongue swirled around my belly-button. “You're more beautiful than words,” he breathed against my skin as his lips steadily moved upwards. “You're alive, and you're here with me. That's all that matters. Nothing else is important, my Mia. Nothing.”

He said nothing after that, preferring to show me with actions just how beautiful he believed me to be. He inched his way up my body. His lips glided over my skin, leaving nothing untouched. His fingers traced the lines of my ribs, my sternum, my collarbones, until his tongue slid its way up the column of my neck. I'd never before felt so beautiful.

“I love you so much,” I whispered a fraction of a second before his lips found mine again.

He stilled above me. His whole body went rigid, and for one panicked moment, I was afraid I'd done something terribly wrong. Then, that slow, super-heated smile of his that turned my insides to goo spread across his lips. “That's the first time you've ever said that to me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, as if saying it any louder might shatter the moment.

I fidgeted beneath his scrutiny. “What do you mean? I've said it before.” Lie. “Lots of times.” Even bigger lie.

“You're a terrible liar, my Mia, but I love you anyway.” His lips met mine again in a hot, very nearly out of control kiss that definitely stole my breath away.

Within moments, we'd reached the level of boiling lava, and Kal reluctantly pulled away from me. “Jesus, Mia. I'm going to spontaneously combust any minute.”

My hands—one tangled in his hair, the other locked around his shoulder—tugged him back down to me. “Then, combust,” I told him. “Because I don't want you to stop.”

“Mia,” he groaned. “I can't take much more. You're killing me, here.”

“That'd be a nice way to die,” I mused. “Naked, with the one you love.”

“Mia,” he warned.

“Come on, Kallie,” I whispered and pulled him into another bone-melting kiss. “Let's try it. See if we survive.”

He jerked back, eyes wide and searching. “I don't want to hurt you.”

I tugged him down again. “The only way you could hurt me,” I told him, “is if you stopped right now.”

Still, he pulled back, his face a battleground of emotion. He definitely wanted to, there was no denying that, but fear kept his raging hormones in check. Just barely.

I let my hand fall from his shoulder and slid it down his chest to the waistband of his jeans.

“Mia, stop,” he groaned, jerking away from my touch. “What if I hurt you? I couldn't live with myself if I did something that caused you even a moment of pain.”

“You won't. You couldn't.”

“You don't know that.”

“Kal,” I whispered, my voice nine kinds of broken. “Don't do this. Don't push me away. I want this with you…before I die.”

He tensed, his eyes clouding with pain and even more fear.

“Not today,” I hurried to reassure him. “I'm okay, right now, but I am dying. Soon, and I just…well, I don't want to go without experiencing all there is to know about love. With you.”

He shook his head, his eyes filled with a wealth of tears.

“I love you. I want you. I need you,” I told him. “And if I was completely healthy, if there was no cancer, and I wasn't dying, you wouldn't think twice about doing this with me. You'd jump right in with both feet because you love me, and I love you.”

“But you are dying,” he half-moaned, half-sobbed.

“All the more reason to do this,” I replied, as I grazed my knuckles along his cheek and gathered up the stray tears that had broken free. A watery smile tipped up my lips. “Besides, you told me just a couple weeks ago that you'd give me anything I wanted. Well, I want you. Right here. Right now.”

He stared down at me for a long, weighted moment, considering my words, my determination. Finally, he heaved out a defeated sigh, a strange half-smile curving his mouth. “Well, in that case…” He didn't finish the thought.