Alone on the Oregon Trail (4 page)

He hit the ground and hadn’t moved within a few minutes, so I began walking towards him, praying that he was already dead so I would not have to finish him off. The closer I got, the harder I prayed and by the time I reached where he lay, I soon realized that he was already dead and I found myself praising God.

I whistled for my horse and he came running as he always did for Nathaniel. I had loaded him down with my saddle bag and in it I had put knives, rags and a rope as well. Tying the deer to the saddle, I was able to pull the deer back to the front of the woods, but I remembered what Nathaniel had told me about never bringing fresh meat into the camp because of the bears and wild animals that it would draw in.

So I left the deer in the woods and went to my camp to get all I needed and returned. I took with me as much water as I could carry, a gunny sack, knives and some salt. I did not know what else to use but I figured this would work fine. Then I sat down to clean and cut up the deer. This was a horrible first time experience as I cut away at the deer and my thoughts kept running back to the horror of having to remove Nathaniel’s leg.

I honestly got up several times walking away from the deer, not thinking I could go through with it. I was very low on food and I knew that I would need the meat and I would sit back down and make myself begin again at slicing away. I was literally sick to my stomach and several times removed myself to running behind a tree and getting sick.

I also cried the rest of the way through the task, pleading with God to give me the strength I needed to be finished with it. When I was finally done, I got up and began to pile the meat, after salting it, into a gunny sack that I had brought to the woods so I could carry it back to the camp.

There I was able to empty the meat into a barrel for its storage. By the time I was finished, night time was beginning to roll in and I then prepared to retire to the wagon. I did not get much sleep at night when I would try to sleep.

I usually would get only a few hours that would come by complete exhaustion from being awake so long. It is a fearful thing to be alone in total darkness, listening to the branches and twigs rustle all around you. I also stayed very tuned in to the horses and I had learned what was normal and what was not with their sounds. I could always tell if animals had come creeping around and I just continued to pray that nothing too big would come into my camp.

I was glad that I could recall everything that Nathaniel had taught me regarding disposing of the meat and the rest of the deer. He always told me to never bring any of the leftover meat into the camp.

What I had brought was what I was keeping and I had covered it with salt and it was now stored in a barrel with a lid. The leftover meat and the remains of the deer I dragged behind the horse, deeper into the woods.

That night I heard animals as they found the remains and you could clearly tell they were fighting over it. Nathaniel was so smart and I thank God every day that he shared so much with me since I have been left alone out here.

After rebuilding my supply of food I was thankful for such a blessing and I began at once to slice the meat up into fine jerky for me to eat quickly and on the trail. I made sure I filled a gunny sack with a linen cloth wrapped around much of the meat and I put it into my saddle bag in case I had to escape quickly on horseback and I arranged the rest of it in the barrel in quick to go bags for the future.

I also was able to restock my water supply with good fresh clean water and tried my hand at filtering water over rocks the way Nathaniel had shown me. This would help me remember how to do that later when I would have to know how.

Being alone out on the trail wasn’t so bad at all times and I enjoyed much of the journey. It had its moments and the loneliness could get to me on certain days. I had the horses to visit with and tiny animals as they would come across my path and that kept me sane.

What I did have a hard time with quite often is deciding which way to go, in what direction. I mostly tried to just follow alongside the streams and rivers. I would not let myself wander off too far from good sources of water.

By now, my clothes were becoming very worn out and I began digging through some of Nathaniel’s clothes and sewing them to fit me. I was also able to double up on socks so that I could wear some of his boots that were in the wagon.

I must have been a sight out there wearing his boots and clothes at times. I was just grateful to have them.

I really had no idea how long I had been out on the trail since Nathaniel passed, but it did not matter to me that much. I knew when the sun would rise and when it would fall and that was enough. I knew that I was beginning to age as I could see it in my skin and I wondered at times how old I would look by the time I came out of these wilds.

My hair had gotten fairly dried out from the sun and I tried to wear bonnets or some of Nathaniel’s hats, but they were becoming ragged as well. I started considering that when the worse came and my clothes wore completely out, that there were always gunny sacks that I could sew together and make clothes, but I wasn’t looking forward to having them next to my skin because they would be so itchy.

I began to save some of my clothes and not wear them so if I had to wear gunny sacks I would still have other clothes I could wear under them so it would not be so uncomfortable. Nathaniel had brought plenty of his long underwear and these came in very handy in many ways.

I loved sleeping and wearing his old shirts all along the way. I washed clothes at nearly every stop I made so that I would always have plenty of clean clothes in case of emergencies where I would not be able to wash clothes for days.

It came in handy one day when I discovered that I was pretty much stuck inside the wagon for a couple days.

I had come into a shady area where I was going to make a lunch on the fire instead of eating jerky as I traveled and I had already unleashed the horses so they could graze and the wagon was sitting unattached. I had gotten into the wagon to get some supplies and when I started to step down from the wagon, I nearly stepped into the middle of bunch of snakes.

I grabbed my gun thinking I could shoot a few, but when I looked there were way too many. I would count twenty and then twenty more and so on and they just kept coming. I could not jump down from the wagon and I could not shoot them all so I remained in the wagon, keeping an eye on them.

It seemed like I had parked the wagon in a path the snakes were taking down to the river.

It was scary, but all was well after a few hours, so I stayed quiet and just had more jerky for supper in the wagon. The horses were all right as they were grazing far enough away where the snakes had no interest in being, so we were in no danger, but I had to wait them out.

This is one example why I always made sure I had clothes cleaned as much as possible, as well as plenty of water inside the wagon. I figured I would be running into storms as well and that would be another occasion when I might be glad I had everything I needed in the wagon.

It sure was not any fun watching all those snakes as they crawled around just under my wagon, making their way down to the river and I was as quiet as a mouse as I sat there watching. I knew I wasn’t getting out of the wagon until I was forced to.

Being in the wilderness was making me stronger and I began finding myself to be braver than I ever dreamed I could be.

There were times I came into contact with wild cats and coyotes and wolves and I was able to stand still with my gun in hand, ready to protect my horses and myself. I was very fortunate many times that I did not get myself in serious situations without having my shotgun with me, or enough bullets.

I made sure it was glued to my side anytime I was away from the wagon. The horses were such a blessing to me because they have great ears to hear with and many times they awakened me in the night and were my alarm clock in the mornings as well.

As tired as I was most of the time, I would have wasted many day time hours if it wasn’t for the team of horses. They would get to stirring outside my wagon and it seemed they knew when we should be getting back on the trail and they would stir around brushing their tails against the wagon cover and this would wake me up to start the day.

They only brushed their tails in the mornings when they would wake me up, so it was like an alarm clock for me. They were such a joy to take care of and to have with me for companionship as well. We had become very close after the incident that took place when I lost my temper with them when I was in such pain from the loss of Nathaniel.

There were days when I would get myself so discouraged thinking about how far I had yet to go before I could get off this lonely trail and get onto roads where then I would be coming upon farmers and ranchers.

Nathaniel had talked about this as well and so glad he did because I would have found myself so lost if I had done as I wanted to do and wandered off the trail. I know that it will be several days before I can get off this rugged trail because he had talked about how far we would be going.

He also gave me ideas of landmarks to look for as we would travel along so we would know it would be safe to get off. So, as I travel along I keep my eyes open for roads that will be paved out a little wider and they will be cutting off in different directions which will then lead to where people have settled into farms.

That will be a wonderful day when I begin to see more of those cutoffs, because then I will be able to get off the trail and travel on and will run across people eventually. I look so forward to seeing other people and I can only pray that they will be friendly and take a little pity upon me in my condition.

I have no problem working for my keep until I could carry on and find my own way out here on the prairies. I am praying I find good Christian people who will understand what I have been through and be willing to allow me to stay long enough to get back on my feet.

Those days are around the corner just like Nathaniel used to say “autumn is just around the corner Brooklyn, can’t you see it?”

Chapter Four

(Whispering Pines)

I had grown to think that the scare with the snakes might be one of my worst encounters, but I had not known what I would be facing on a Sabbath morning as I was cooking a sweet meal to spend time with the Lord in the quiet.

As I was taking some meat off the fire I heard what sounded like men talking out in the woods just directly across from where I was sitting. I had left my shotgun in the wagon and I was not even sure I had enough time to get back to it.

I sat in shock for a moment or two and then I was able to rise up and head back to the wagon. I was too afraid to turn my back to the sounds so I began backing up slowly toward the wagon. As I was backing up, my foot tripped upon a rock that was sitting on the ground and I tumbled over onto the ground.

When I landed my back was to the woods and I was sure that whoever it was would be on top of me before I could get to the gun. To my surprise, no one was there. I grabbed the gun and just stood behind the wagon for a long time waiting and watching for someone to come out of the woods.

There was nothing moving, but I could feel a presence near me and it scared me more by the minute. The wind was beginning to kick up and the sounds of the breeze began to drown out the sounds I was hearing from the woods. This scared me more because I felt safer if I could hear what was out there.

As I stood and listened, the wind began blowing through the tops of the pines and they seemed to be whispering to me. The sound scared me that much more because of the creepiness of the whispers. As I knelt down next to the wagon the sounds were beginning to sound like words and the next thing I knew it was sounding like they were whispering my name, and it did not sound comforting.

I began wondering if it was instead the voices of the men that I believed were in the woods and they were taunting me. This went on for hours so I stayed fairly tense the entire time and by the time things began to settle down, my whole body ached from remaining so stiff for so long.

The horses seemed to sense this as well and it kept them on alert the whole time and this scared me that much more.

I never did figure out what the noises were in the woods that sounded like men’s voices, but I figured that because of my fear, the wind in the trees that sounded like it was whispering my name had to be my imagination. I did not sleep a wink that night because of it all and the next day I was so tired that I had to pull over under some shady trees to take cat naps off and on.

That was one of the scariest times for me on the trail because it was the first time I ever thought I was coming into contact with other human beings and if they were hiding then I knew it could not be a good thing.

As I traveled along in this area for probably another fifteen miles, the pines seemed to whisper all the way. I heard the sounds for a long while and when I finally managed to get further away from the pines, my nerves began to settle.

It was very eerie and I would not want to go back through that again. The experience with the snakes and even the mama bear did not scare me as much as those whispering pines.

Chapter Five

(A River’s Rage)

I had been out on this old trail for around five months with my husband and by myself as well. I was beginning to wonder if I would ever come out of the wilds. He had already told me what to look for so I would know that prairie land was going to look much sweeter when I finally came out of the dark pine forests and long lonesome trails, and I was continually watching for the signs.

I had not seen any cut off roads yet that looked wider than those I was on, so I knew I still had some ways to go. Now, I would be staring face to face with crossing a river alone. As I was riding along one morning, I was following a small stream and as I came around a curve my eyes could see that ahead was a substantial river and I would have to find the best place to cross for the horses, wagon and me.

Nathaniel had explained to me to watch for the whirlpools and not to cross there and to go on down further to cross where it would not pull us in. He taught me so much as we traveled along talking and sometimes I wonder now if God was speaking through him so that I would be told all these things if I had to make it alone.

So, as I came around that curve and saw the wide river ahead, I pulled off to the side and studied the water. Slowly I followed alongside it and I got a view of the whirlpool he was talking about and it looked so wicked as it was going in circles and taking things down with it.

I followed down further and was able to see a much calmer scene and decided that this must be where I was supposed to cross. So, I motioned the horses to go down near the bank and we edged our way in. The horses seemed as if they did not want to go in and I found that odd because Nathaniel had not had trouble with them in rivers before.

I paused for a moment and then started them down further into the water. We had gotten nearly half way into the river’s width when I felt a hard jolt and it jerked the wagon back and forth very quickly. We were not in that deep of water because I had checked it and I had gone far down from the whirlpool, so I wasn’t sure what was happening.

As it jerked the wagon it also jerked the horses and they began to panic, trying to rear up on their hind legs. I knew that the wagon was going to tip over so I reached out very quickly and tried untying the horses from the wagon because I could see they were fighting against something I could not see.

I was able to get one horse, Bailey, untied, but I could not get Brittany untied and when I could tell the wagon was going under, I jumped out of the wagon and grabbed hold of Bailey’s tail and as he was fighting and trying to swim, I was able to crawl upon his back.

There was an undercurrent that was trying to pull us under and he was fighting to stay above water. I turned my head screaming for Brittany and as I held on tightly to Bailey, I had to watch as Brittany was spinning in circles and was finally taken under the water and I could no longer see her.

The wagon was being thrown in circles and as I looked on in horror, the wagon dipped down front first and sunk into the raging pool. Bailey and I managed to get on across the water but the horse stopped at the shoreline and shook himself and then turned around to see that Brittany was no longer with us.

If anyone thinks animals do not feel pain for losses, how wrong you are. I hopped off Bailey and stood and grabbed him by the mane and held his head in my arms for some time. He knew at that moment that we had not only lost our wagon, but we lost our beloved Brittany.

Now we both had suffered the loss of Nathaniel and Brittany. As I stood there holding Bailey’s head in my hands I realized that we also lost our wagon that had almost everything in it.

All I had left was what was in my saddle bag. I fell to the ground crying out at God because this was the last straw for me. I had tried to muster up faith after I lost Nathaniel, but it had never returned, and now here I was standing with a horse, a saddle bag of things and a long travel ahead of me.

I was sure that we both were doomed and that I would die out there in a matter of a week. My faith was nothing and I was now angrier at God than ever. I felt like He had turned His back on me and didn’t care if I made it or not.

I sat there crying by the river bank for quite some time. Then as the darkness began to creep in behind me I knew I had better get my bed roll off of Bailey and figure out how I was going to sleep in the middle of nowhere with not much to protect me.

I jumped to my feet and began searching for a better place for me to turn in for the night. I sure was not going to stay there in case more snakes would decide to come down to the river in this direction. I instead wandered around looking for a tree that I could tuck myself up under and I also decided to keep Bailey tied to the tree as well instead of letting him wander and graze as he usually did.

I could not bear losing him as well, since I had lost everything else. The night was falling quickly and looking around I saw nothing even close to being promising but I had to choose somewhere to lean my head and try to sleep on and off. I knew now that I probably would have to try to sleep during the day, at least some cat naps and travel by night.

For now I needed to rest and to at least lay down my body so it could rest.

I managed to find a tree that had enormous leaves and under it was a large pack of leaves that had fallen around it and I chose this spot to try to get some sleep. Taking my bedroll and wrapping myself up in it and then I slid to the ground and leaned my head against the tree and listened to the sounds in the night.

Bailey stood beside me all night long and never did lie down as if he was keeping guard over me, and it was much appreciated.

Come morning, things were quiet and I could hear each bird as its wings would swish through the air and I could hear where its landing spots were above me. At times I could hear their tiny babies as they would chirp in their nests and this brought me back to the beauty of the wild as I lay under the tree listening.

At some point during the night I had relaxed enough to allow myself to lay my body down completely and I was amazed that there weren’t insects crawling all over me. It was a very peaceful sleep and I didn’t wake up once.

Now that it was morning I knew that I was facing terrible consequences if I ran out of food and water and I grabbed my gun and a few bullets and I at once set out to hunt. I had some deer meat and jerky as well in my saddle bag, but I knew it would not last forever and so I needed to add to my stock.

I grabbed Bailey’s reins and led him along with me, not even considering leaving him behind anywhere. I wanted to be sure to keep him safe.

We had walked for quite some time before I saw any large animals and I finally had to give in and focus on smaller ones. As I raised the gun, pointing at a small rabbit, the tears were rolling down my face as I pulled the trigger. It was the hardest thing I had to do since I had to take care of Nathaniel’s leg and I sat and looked at that bunny for a while before I allowed myself to clean and dress it.

The job was done and the meat was preserved and set in my saddle bag for a later time. I then rode Bailey out to a pasture that was rich for him and sat while he grazed a while. This is how we would do things from now on, side by side and never apart. I knew I probably needed him more than he needed me, but he needed me for companionship, that was for sure.

He seemed to be very sad since we lost Brittany and my heart broke for him just as my heart broke over Nathaniel. It is a hard thing to do, to watch someone in pain over losing a loved one, and animals are no different.

He began lying around a lot and that was worrying me.

I was not used to seeing him lay down in the middle of the day so much. Every time we would stop for a rest, he would lay down. I was confused on how much time I should spend traveling for his sake and he seemed so tired. I did not want to be on the trail any longer than we had to be, so I kept trying to push him to get up and have the energy it took.

Traveling at night was slow and we did not get very far, so our travel was mostly by day. I would stop and allow him to graze a couple times a day and then let him graze early evening when we would stop for the night. I did all my eating by day as I rode or walked along, so I would be able to just rest in the evening and night.

I also began walking more and letting Bailey not have as much weight to carry along.

If it was not for the fact that we lost most of our supplies, riding horseback and walking was less stressful than riding in the wagon, and I am sure it was easier on Bailey as well. I had lost tools, barrels of food and water, medical supplies and clothes.

My backpack only held so much and the saddle bag did not hold much either. I would make do with what I had. I could only pray that God would provide Bailey with enough food to eat along the way and plenty of fresh water.

I was hoping that God would show mercy on Bailey if He could not on me.

We had gone for about a week when Bailey started coming out of his depression over losing Brittany. I woke up one morning to see his face just inches from mine and he was licking my face when he saw my eyes open.

It was a true heartwarming experience to see his old heart coming around; knowing that he too one day, would feel like life is worth living. I got the feeling that Bailey and I would grow even closer from then on due to both of us knowing what it was like to lose our loved ones on this nasty old trail.

I longed to be able to provide a good home for him with plenty of healthy grass for him to roam and eat. I longed for a big tub of hot water so I could soak my aching bones. I longed for a real cook stove so I could bake some bread.

I longed for a bed that I could roll around in as I fell asleep at night.

I longed to have Nathaniel by my side for the rest of my life.

I longed so many things that I was not able to have and it gave me a drive to push myself forward so we could see these longings come.

Day after day we pushed ourselves even more so that we could see a light at the end of the tunnel. Even Bailey seemed to have more energy and a reason to carry on. At night I would lay and dream about our future and I made vows to myself that I would spoil Bailey as much as I could, going on rides and spending plenty of time together.

When I saw food running low with only about a month’s worth left, I would once again set out to find an animal that I could take down. I had finally gotten over killing small animals. I did not enjoy it, but I knew it was necessary in order me to survive.

I was able to find clean water for both of us and we both bathed in the rivers as often as we could. We found ourselves playing in the water and I soon realized that Bailey was all I had left on this earth and he grew more important to me with each day.

I had a good supply of meat saved and had turned it into jerky and that made it so easy to eat my meals as we would travel and then we would stop early evening for him to get a good supper and we would sleep, get up the next morning and do it all over again.

The weather had turned dreadfully hot though and traveling during the day was becoming unbearable. We then began traveling more in late evening and nighttime. I grew to get over my fear of the dark and riding Bailey made the task less stressful because he could see much better than I could. I put all my trust in his eyes and he never led us wrong.

Towards the end of our journey we started back to traveling during the day because we had run into some close calls at night with wild animals and although the heat was a killer, it still felt safer to travel in the daylight hours.

The last week of my journey I lost some of my meat to some coyotes. Bailey and I had jumped into the river to wash and cool off but I accidentally left my backpack open and while we were playing in the river some coyotes come along and they got into my pack and stole my jerky.

I still had a few days’ strips left, but I knew I was now dangerously low. I did not panic, but we carried on in hopes that we would see one of those cutoff roads soon.

One day as we were traveling along a river bank, I filled a canteen with water and we started back on the trail. I never dreamed that we would not be passing a river for quite some time, thinking I could fill the other one later on down the river. With each mile we went, we got further and further from that river and as I watched for the next stream, it never came.

This is when I got very nervous and decided I would save what water I had for Bailey since he would be doing most of the work if he carried me.

Two days went by and still no sight of water and I felt myself growing weaker and my lips were growing very dry and beginning to crack and bleed. This is when I thought I surely would not make it and I climbed on Bailey and tied myself on with a rope that I had in my saddle bag.

I tied it just enough to hold me perhaps if I should pass out from exhaustion. We rode and rode and at times I was passed out and would awaken to see us still moving ahead. Bailey never stopped at this point.

When I woke up I would untie myself, stop Bailey, and give him water to drink from my hands and then crawl back on him and retie myself to the saddle. After a week, I saw a road that was much wider and looked much worn and as I looked down its path it seemed to have a clearing around it for a long way.