Alone on the Oregon Trail

Alone On The Oregon Trail

By

Vanessa Carvo

Our Daring Adventure Begins

The bare branches of New York City left one’s mind empty, filled with the lack of passion, giving a sense of hopelessness and a never ending grudge held deep within your heart. The year of 1849 was a dreadful year for us both. No matter how we would try day after day to find a reason to continue on, our poor hearts screamed for open spaces, lilies of the prairies and the smells of autumn filling the air.

Losing both my ma and pa to such a dreadful disease as Cholera left my new husband and me searching for something that could not be found amidst the horror in the streets. Rich and healthy people still left behind began to reach for opportunity and strive to rebuild their broken lives as they buried their loved ones who had been taken to this sickness.

Along with many, we buried my parents and as our eyes met one final day in New York, we without speaking a word, knew that our days were lived out in this mess of a city. Garbage and dead bodies filled the streets, being pushed into the gutters. We watched in horror as the residents released swine into the streets, which was their way of cleaning up the filth and the rotting bodies.

As Nathaniel and I looked through the fogged over window panes, our stomachs wrenched, sending us again to vomit at the sights we were seeing. The economy of the once flourishing city had tumbled and everywhere you looked you could no longer see the steady city life we had grown so used to.

Sadness spread throughout the city causing those who had once been law abiding people to transform into beasts that would lash out on the weak and the vulnerable. There was crime and chaos everywhere you could look. It was getting to the point that you could trust only in yourselves and would have to hide behind a wooden door as darkness fell, praying that you will protected for another night.

Many of the very rich had already left the city, knowing ahead of what was about to hit. Doctors were born overnight, ready for hire as they would claim their fantasy of a practice. Some had studied for about six months to be called doctors while because of need and because of lawlessness, others took the claim instantly, having no validation.

All restrictions were lifted giving these so called overnight doctors full control and license to make dreadful decisions. Cholera was at a high and had a constant presence. To know someone that did not have it was very rare, so you had to tuck yourself away in a safe haven.

Times were only getting darker, food became such a shortage and all the water was becoming tainted and my husband and I of only three months knew it was time for us to find any way out of the city that we could.

I had lost my ma and pa to cholera and he had lost his parents a year before to the same killer. We were not willing to stick around to watch each other also die.

Ferry boats were working and this we decided would be our way out and we found a way to sell all we had so we could find ourselves a place on the Lady Queen. After that we would travel by ferry to a place where we could then buy a couple of horses and a wagon.

From there we would be seeking the sweet smell of prairie lands, and then we could begin building a new life. Nathaniel dreamed of running his own cattle ranch and I wanted to give him fine babies, and we both knew that our chances to have babies in this dying and ravaged city would never come.

Cholera came in waves and as it hit with a vengeance this time, we believed it was here to stay for a few years. Nathaniel would not mind working as a ranch hand because he knew that someday we would have our own ranch filled with cattle, horses and babies running around bare footed in the open prairie fields, and this was our hope.

God willing, we would make our family in the prairies where the wild flowers blow in the breezes and autumn makes itself known by awakening your senses to the surroundings.

I told Nathaniel that I could feel autumn as it would be just around the corner and we would arrive just in time to welcome it in. Oh, how we looked so forward to gazing upon the autumn’s sun as it sets itself down, coloring the skies that golden rose color. We have heard about the skies out on the prairies and we had been told how the orange crisp colors fill the ground and the trees.

Nathaniel loved pine trees for they stood so tall that you could take all day trying to guess how far up to heaven they reached.

The smell of pine would get Nathaniel so excited and he often remarked often how he would not wash the pine smell from his clothes for a few days when we arrive, just so he can bask in its aroma. Nathaniel was a wonderful man and a man I never even had the chance to know.

Although I do know how wonderful of a daddy he would have been, I was never given the opportunity to watch this father grow with his children. In my heart I will always imagine watching him play with his daughters and teach his sons how to rope and ride.

Now I sit here with such fond memories of my husband and our love which will never die, and his home is my home; his heart is my heart.

Nathaniel did not make it to our destination. After we had landed off the ferry and bought our horses and our wagon, we got all the food and supplies we thought we would need and we headed for the beautiful Oregon which we had heard about.

Along the way my dear sweet husband had an accident as he was cutting wood for our fire and as he brought his axe down, the axe tore into his leg, slicing it to the bone. We were alone in the wilderness with no one anywhere near to even hear our screams and my pleas.

As I prayed and worked so hard to save him, the devastation of his death fell upon me. I had managed to stop the bleeding from his leg and had been caring for him for about a week, when his color begin to turn green and black all around his wound and ran all the way up to his waist.

By this time Nathaniel had lost all consciousness and was never again aware of what had happened. As he lay there staring into my tear filled eyes, he sang me a love song as if he thought he would just get right up and carry on.

He whispered to me that he would see me in the morning and as he took his last breath he said to me “My sweet Brooklyn, autumn is just around the corner, can you see it honey; I see it and everything is glowing gold for you”. As the words left his lips, he closed his eyes and I was left alone in the middle of a trail that led to nowhere for me.

Much has changed in my life since I lost Nathaniel and a loss he will always be. The good Lord provides and as He is providing for us, we must just believe on Him. All I had when Nathaniel left me was my love for my Lord Jesus Christ and it was my faith in Him that kept me seeking the Lord’s face and His kindness.

Oh, how He taught me to strengthen my faith even in the midst of the difficulties that were mine. Although I have never lived a day where I do not think of Nathaniel, I still was able to carry on and through the sadness also came to me gladness and the good Lord brought to me many treasures for me to build upon.

God is good, and He is good all the time. The following story is a story of my life with Nathaniel, our tragedy that struck us and the hardships all along the way to a brand new kind of love and the life I live today.

The Lord knows how to give and He knows how to heal the most broken heart, and I am a living testimony to that fact. May the Lord guide and direct every one of us as we step out in faith, asking for Him to help our unbelief, making sure it shall grow as it shall be watered.

Autumn is just around the corner and every year it shows itself to me, Nathaniel comes into my mind, giving me sweet memories of his excitement for the frontier. He is merely sleeping and one day he shall look into my eyes and I shall hear him say, “Brooklyn, we have made it, we have
made it.”

Chapter One

(Autumn Is Just Around The Corner)

Christmas would not be the usual Christmas in New York City in the year 1849. Cholera was the new Christmas gift to millions of people as it ravaged through the city. It had hit with a vengeance only a few years before leaving thousands of people dead as it swept through New York’s finest, as well as the poorest of the streets.

To cholera, it made no difference of the color of one’s skin, or the status of your family name; for if it was to strike, it struck all alike. Among the millions that died over the last ten years from cholera, were my husband’s mother and father, and then following them were my own parents and as we laid them to rest, we could only count our blessings that we were able to keep my parents bodies and provide for them a decent burial.

Many families were not that fortunate and their only goodbyes allowed were to say goodbye as they watched in horror as their loved one was thrown in the back of a wagon and dumped in the many gutters or trash yards around the city.

With our parents we were able to care for their bodies and provide a decent burial for them. There was to be no church service because that would have been unheard of during times of cholera. Churches had emptied out and people, if they were wise enough, stayed to their own homes walls -- not venturing out unless very necessary.

At the first onset of cholera or any other epidemic, most had learned over time to prepare themselves for a long haul and they would go and get as many supplies and food as they could and they would go out into the streets, so a church service would not be permitted.

We were able to lay mama and daddy to rest under a tree in our family back yard. As we buried them we could hear the sounds in the streets of screams, horrifying screams, and children crying way into the night.

Day after day and night after night we would hear the screams and as each hour would pass, the screams would become weaker and weaker until there was a horrible silence filling the night. We had been here in New York City when cholera had swept through before and the first few times we fought vigilantly to save as many people as we could, but by this time, it was against the law to venture out of your home and to help anyone.

It had come with such harshness that death prevailed most times and if you were seen outside the authorities of the town would consider you sick as well and you could be quarantined along with the sick ones. This kept you inside your own home and the price of staying in your home was high; you then are stuck listening to the screams of death coming upon those who lay in the streets.

There were times when you could;t even look out your window, for the fear of seeing someone who was still alive when the swine were released into the streets. This is a memory that will forever be branded into your mind.

After Nathaniel and I laid my parents to rest, we soon realized that we were all we had left and the fear of losing the other took over our minds. We tried to sleep and got none; we tried to eat and could not. We tried to spend time doing things together and we would catch ourselves staring into thin air.

The time had come when we would have to escape the city that had been taken over by a deadly disease before it reached inside our home as well. Without any words being spoken, our eyes met and we both knew what we had just agreed upon.

We were leaving New York City.

The time it took to make that decision was about the time it took to prepare and to leave. We hurried and scurried about that house as we tried to find anything that anyone that had money left would buy and we called anyone who still had good health, to see if they would buy the things. We were very fortunate because one of my mother’s friends owned a store and she bought much of our things, saving them for the next survivors of cholera.

Many folks in New York City had lived through cholera before and they knew that the dreadful disease would finally find its way out of the city, taking as many as it could. Then, those who survived would by that time need everything new. They would use up everything they had as they would wait out the disease and when it left town, they then would have to resupply and this is where many of our things came as a blessing.

My dresses were one of many things that brought us some money, as well as our father’s tools. The money we made from selling our belongings would go towards buying a couple of horses and a wagon and then, of course, supplies for the journey. As sad as our hearts were about losing our beloved parents, we were filled with hope and gladness of a future far away from this windy city.

It would not be long until we too would be among those who live out their lives on prairie lands filled with wild grass and sweet singing birds. All we had to do is get a way to board the ferry first and then we would land and buy all we needed for our trip. We were both filled with excitement as the day got closer and closer to leave.

Nathaniel’s father had owned the news press in the city and he had many connections that could get us a place on the ferry, so whether it was right or not, we had a seat. Back when cholera was rampant, many laws were discarded and many new laws were made.

Many called it the survival of the fittest. It seemed like a poker game to me as people would bet for seats, barter for seats, sell them and even give them away as they came down with cholera as they were boarding the ferry. Many people knew that if they stood nearby, their chances of getting on were good, so they would just wait and many who had bought seats would come down ill and as they fell sick, their seats were given up to the next person waiting around.

It was horrible times and as you cried and shook your head, and as you were trying to get over some shock or sad sight, another one would fall upon you, so you were on a constant state of go. Your mind did not even have the time to think or to reason.

That is why having true faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is all you need. There is nothing else sufficient, but Him. One horrible event would happen and without any time to think you would have to react and respond, and only through listening for the Lord’s voice can this be done.

I leaned my ear over to the Lord constantly.

So, God willing; two seats became ours on the ferry and alone with fear for the unknown, we began our adventure. Two hearts broken from loss combined with the faith of our Lord Christ, looking only forward to our lives ahead, we sailed together watching the sun as it rose and the stars as they appeared high in the sky.

As Nathaniel held my hand I felt the strength of his strong faith and I was able to keep my eyes on the good Lord and my love alive. When we saw the shores lay before us, there was an excitement that neither of us had ever known as we scurried ahead of most so that we could be the first to exit the ferry boat.

Nathaniel was first to step foot on solid ground and as I jumped into his arms, I felt like we were school children again and the dark and sad memories we left behind in New York City were fading away.

His eyes as they shone against the moonlight told me of promises he had made to me while yet we were in the city, and my love for him grew tenfold. Nathaniel had a deep commitment to God and it was God whom he would take all things to in conversation, even before he would speak with me.

This alone gave me confidence that my husband was truly a man of God. For him to be so young of a man, I knew that I had been blessed by God to have such a husband as he was. Nathaniel believed in putting God first in our marriage and he also believed in being a man who first took everything to God in prayer before he would ever make a decision.

I can remember many times when I would wait for Nathaniel to answer me on something, and he would not give me an answer until he had heard back from God.

As I jumped into his arms off that ferry, I saw a vision of myself in love and it sent waves all through my body, and to this day I can remember it like it was yesterday. God had clearly put Nathaniel in my life for good reason and it would take years for me to find out just what the true purpose of Nathaniel was.

He was more than a husband to me and through the years I have come to understand the plans that God had for Nathaniel and for me, and sometimes we learn that God’s plans are different than our own and His ways are not our ways, as we are not able to think the same as God and see the future as He can.

It did not take us too long to gather our supplies and to buy our first set of horses and a wagon and we were able to get a very good deal for the team of horses. We had enough money to stay the night at a local Inn and after a wonderful evening with Nathaniel we turned in for a good night’s sleep so that we would be refreshed come morning for our beginning of our journey.

We witnessed our love for Jesus with everyone we could and were able to get to know a few people before we set out, sharing with them our trials and our faith that had set us out on the road to new prosperity.

Many others shared their stories with us as well and we could only imagine the pain they had suffered as some of them had lost their own tiny children to not only cholera but to the fever as well. Saying our goodbyes and wishing all blessings from God, we waved our hands in air as we pulled out of the depot.

Our horses had been fed and shoed and our wagon was in good condition and our minds and bodies well rested, and we were off. I leaned over in the front seat of the wagon and gave my beautiful husband a kiss upon his cheek as I whispered “I love you Nathaniel, thank you for being my husband.”

The smile that came across his tender face was one I have never had to forget unto this very day.

Something happened to Nathaniel the day we shoved off and I was excited to see changes come to him as he would drive the wagon and share with me all his plans of running his cattle ranch as well as planting our first garden.

Nathaniel was a working man and he was blossoming into a well-rounded God fearing man. He took great pride in tilling the land and he always said that New York restricted his capabilities. Now, he would have the chance to stretch forth his talent and to grow in faith.

We talked for hours and the next thing we knew it began to grow dark on the horizon, and he announced that we had better be pulling off for the night, reminding us that next time we had better pay attention to the time. It would be better to stop a little earlier in the evening.

It all turned out all right and we were able to get in a little supper and get everything put away for the night sleep before it became dark. That first night under the star lit sky was our first new memory and our first time to ever sleep under the stars. It was glorious laying there in his arms and playing games in the dark.

We played many games between each other and it kept us young at heart, remembering how we began in dating. We would play games such as “I see this…” and we played it in the dark as if we could see things and we would describe things in great detail and the other would have to imagine it and then guess what it was.

It was fun and he said I always gave too many details and made it too easy for him. As the night slipped by, I slipped off to sleep wrapped up in my husband’s arms, feeling as safe as any woman could feel, even out in the middle of the wilderness.

Morning came early and I watched as Nathaniel rose from his sleep all in one motion, as if he had thought it all through. He jumped up and was on his feet in a matter of seconds, pulled open the wagon cover and hopped on down to the ground in one swing. All I could see was legs in the air and I had to chuckle watching such energy come from him.

I was always the one who would take a while to wake up, wanting and demanding things before I could get started for the day. He could get up and start a fire while I would wake up and immediately want a cup of tea or cocoa first.

That is why we got along so well. It didn’t bother him to be the one to fix the cup of tea, while I wasn’t bothered to be the one to drink the first cup. He was a gentleman and he spoiled me rotten, but I would like to think that I also spoiled him. Most of our marriage was all about spoiling the other.

My ma always said that if you work harder at pleasing the other, than both of you should be satisfied, because you both are dedicating yourself to the other. It worked with us in our marriage and we just kept doing what worked. Nathaniel had a way with trying to find ways to surprise me with anything he could find.

When we lived in New York he would bring me single flowers home or a special pretty stone he would find as he walked along. This first morning on our journey he did not forget to surprise me with this time a wild flower and it was the most special flower he ever gave me.

I saved that flower the entire time on the trip and today it lies inside my bible in the book of Corinthians. It was precious white in color and as soft as billowy cotton, and today it still is as white as it was on that morning. He handed me the flower and I got so excited that when I jumped into his arms, he was not ready and we both went barreling to the ground and rolled three times before coming to a stop.

All we could do was giggle at the other one’s look on their face.

Standing at the fire I got a flash of something come to me and I got chills all over my body and I did not know what it even meant, but I kept it to myself. I figured it was something that must have related to a dream of some sort and I just put it out of my mind. I never mentioned it to Nathaniel and today I have mixed feelings about it.