Allure (8 page)

Nine

Neal

I’m taking her out. I want to show her off. I want us to feel like some element of whatever it is we have right now is even verging on normal.

Looking in the mirror I adjust my shirt collar and fasten my belt and then wonder why the hell I’m bothering. The second she steps through the door I’m gonna want her. Yeah, we’re going out but before we go anywhere I want to – I want to make love to her. I can’t even think of it in terms of fucking now. Fucking seems like such a cold, seedy word to describe what I want to do to her.

I check my watch. She’ll be here any minute, and I’m still getting used to the way my stomach flips when I think about her. And then I remember this afternoon – seeing her with another man; another client. And my stomach lurches in an altogether different kind of way.

I close my eyes for a second or two and try to rid my mind of the images of her with somebody else, but it’s like they’re engrained into my brain now. And all of that just confuses me more. These feelings I’m experiencing, I kinda wish they’d go away. Leave me alone. But on the other hand I want to embrace them because they’re making me feel fucking alive. And I haven’t felt that in so long. For years now my life has been nothing but work and travelling and endless days on endless flights from one city to the next. And sex was always meaningless. Necessary, but meaningless. And then came Kira Blu.

The knock on the door sends me crashing back to reality, or what passes for that at the minute, and I head over to answer it, hoping it’s her.

It is. And she is heartbreakingly beautiful tonight in skin-tight jeans and a strapless top and skyscraper-heeled boots that make her legs look impossibly long. Her hair hangs loose around her bare shoulders and her eyes are bright and shining. And I am lost, man. I’m fucking lost.

She smiles, and it floors me. I actually can’t do anything but smile back as I pull her inside and close the door behind her before kissing her long and slow. I’ve dreamed about doing this all day, and now it’s happening I’m relieved I don’t have to let her go in a couple of hours. She’s mine, for the rest of the night, and I could cry with freaking happiness.

‘Hey, you,’ I say quietly, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as I pull her closer to me.

‘Hey back.’

She smiles again, and I don’t think it’s possible to feel any more crazy or fucked-up than I do right now, and yet, I never want to feel anything other than this.

‘So, what do you want to do first, Mr Cannon?’

‘We going all role-play, Ms Blu?’

She slides a hand around the back of my neck, her fingers lightly stroking my skin and it sends a shiver right through me. ‘Well, now you mention it, I’ve got my dress-up bag in the car downstairs.’

‘I just want you here, Kira. I don’t care what we do.’

That’s kinda true. But I do want her naked, underneath me, over me, any fucking way she comes I want her naked.

‘I’ll be two minutes,’ she whispers, leaning in so her mouth lingers over mine, touching it only briefly before she smiles once more and pulls back, sashaying into the bathroom. I know what she’s going to do, and I head over to the mini bar to pour myself a shot of whiskey, knocking it back in one just as she appears in the living room doorway, naked – bar for her boots. Naked and hot and mine for the night. All fucking mine.

I don’t have to say anything, she comes over to me anyway, slides her hand back around my neck and buries her fingers in my hair as she kisses me so down and dirty my cock doesn’t even have time to think about what’s happening.

She claws at my zipper, and I love her desperation; I’m feeding off it, Jesus, I crave this woman like a bad fucking drug!

Picking her up I slam her back against the wall, and her legs wrap around me as I dive into her, taking her deep as my fingers dig into her warm, naked flesh. So much for making love; it’s all about the fucking now. And I don’t care that some other man probably had his dick inside her just a few hours ago. I don’t care, because
I’m
here now, and she
wants
me. I want her. She doesn’t want my money.

‘Baby, baby, baby…’ I murmur as I feel my body get ready to face the inevitable climax, and when it hits her cries mingle with mine as we come together, and the whole world can fuck off now because I’m right where I want to be. ‘Jesus, Kira…’ I can barely catch my breath, so I stop talking and just look at her instead. Her eyes are still shining, her face all flushed with a post-sex glow that makes her look twice as stunning as she did before.

I put her down and pull her against me, kissing her slowly, holding her close, and she falls into my arms like the broken rag doll she is. And I’m her broken man. For the next few days, anyway.

‘That was
good
,’ she whispers lazily as her mouth rests against mine, and I smile. She makes me want to smile. She makes me want to do a lot of things.

I stroke her back – long, slow strokes and she moans quietly, closing her eyes, and I feel another piece of me start to come alive. This wild, wrong woman is reawakening parts of me that have lain dormant for too many years because I’ve been too scared to bring them back to life. She’s started that process. But I don’t know if we have time for her to finish it.

‘We should get ready,’ I murmur, in between quick kisses.

My hand rests lightly on her ass; she has the tightest, firmest ass I have ever felt, and I kinda want to fuck it. Before I leave. And I try to remember if she’s OK with that; if it was mentioned on her profile as something she did or didn’t do.

‘Yeah. I guess we should. I promised Joey we’d be there to see his show.’

I frown. She did mention a Joey but I can’t for the life of me remember who he is to her. He can’t be a boyfriend, surely.

She looks at me, throwing me a slightly frustrated half-smile as she pulls away because she can tell I have no idea who Joey is.

‘Joey’s my best friend. My gay best friend.’

I find myself breathing an inner, and hopefully inaudible sigh of relief. He’s her best friend, and he’s gay. No competition there, then.

‘I said we’d go see his drag act, remember?’

Yeah, I remember – now. She did tell me, over the phone, when I spoke to her an hour or so ago. I guess I was still a touch distracted by the thought of her fucking someone else to take it all in properly.

‘We’re going to a gay joint, right?’

She smiles a more convincing smile this time, and I love that she’s so comfortable naked because she should never have to put clothes on that body. Ever. ‘It’s a drag club, but not exclusively a gay club. Lots of different people frequent Bam-Bams.’

‘Bam-Bams?’ I raise an eyebrow, and she laughs, and my eyes go straight to her tits. And now my cock’s all ready to go again but its gonna have to wait.

‘It’s a fabulous place. Believe me. It’s a bit like my second home, if I’m honest. And Joey is the star attraction, of course. I mean, it’s his club, has been for over ten years now, so, who else is going to take the top slot? But when he’s done with his finale the music keeps going and the dancing and partying doesn’t stop until the early hours, even on a Monday, so…’ She walks back over to me and leans in for a kiss, playing with my shirt collar as she grinds her naked body against me, ‘you might want to make sure you’re ready for a long night, Mr Cannon.’

I groan and slide an arm back around her waist – any excuse to touch her. Her skin is like velvet beneath my fingertips and part of me doesn’t want to go anywhere now. But I’m not sure it’s healthy to stay hidden away in this suite for hours on end anymore. Like I said, I’m trying to make some element of this feel normal. As normal as it can be, anyway. ‘I got enough stamina to last all night, baby.’

‘Good.’ She leans in for another, longer kiss, her tongue touching mine and I pull her closer. ‘Because the night isn’t over when the partying’s done. I’ve got plans for you.’ She reaches down to touch my reawakened cock. ‘And this.’

I breathe out slowly as she pulls away and heads back towards the bathroom, and I can’t take my eyes off her ass. Yeah. I need to fuck that. So bad.

I lean back against the wall and push a hand through my hair, letting out another deep breath. I don’t know what this is, and I don’t care. I don’t. Whatever it is I’m gonna run with it until our time together is up. And I’m gonna make the most of every fucking second.

Ten

Kira

I cling on to his hand as we walk into the club. The music is loud and the atmosphere is, as always, fun and vibrant and friendly. I love Bam-Bams. When I told Neal it was like my second home, I wasn’t lying. I’m here a lot. It’s like a little corner of a fantasy world where I come to escape the crap outside and spend time with people who know who they are; people who are happy in their own skin. I used to think I was one of those people. And then Neal Cannon appeared. And now I’m not so sure.

‘You OK?’ he asks, letting go of my hand and sliding an arm around my shoulders and I lean into him, because he makes me feel safe and protected and normal.
This
feels normal. I’m out with a man and there’s no money talk, no cash changing hands. I’m not used to it, because I haven’t done this in years. For too long I’ve only ever been out with men who needed to pay for a companion for the evening, someone to take out for drinks or to dinner; someone to stave off the loneliness they’re feeling because they’re away from home for a few days and they’re missing their wives. Those jobs don’t usually end in sex. Yeah, believe it or not my job doesn’t just involve sex. Because I’m older, with a glowing reputation, I’m often called upon to accompany men to dinner dances or drinks receptions and act like the glamorous girlfriend or fake fiancée they need me to be in order to impress clients. I’m just a beautiful tool they need on their arm in order to win a contract or get that foot on the ladder of a much-dreamed-about promotion. Sex is only part of my work. And it doesn’t have to be the greater part. Not if I don’t want it to be.

‘I’m fine.’

I smile up at him and close my eyes as he kisses me quickly, my hand gripping the material of his shirt as I slide it around his waist. I want to have some fun tonight, and then fall asleep in this man’s arms and not think about the things I have to do tomorrow, without him.

‘So, you gonna introduce me to Joey, then?’

I give him another smile, although I’m still a touch nervous of this meeting between him and my best friend. Joey doesn’t really trust him. Any man he thinks is going to hurt me he doesn’t trust. But after everything that happened – everything he saved me from – that’s understandable. But he’s promised to be on his best behaviour. Which could mean anything, knowing Joey. But he’s promised to do this, for me.

‘He hates me, right?’ Neal smirks, and I love that he’s so perceptive.

‘He doesn’t hate you. He just – it’s hard for him to get his head around, that’s all. Us, what’s happening here, it’s hard for anyone to get their head around. Even
we’re
confused, Neal, so imagine what outsiders must think.’

Although, not that many outsiders are aware of just what Neal and I are to each other. Everyone here in Bam-Bams knows me; they know what I do. But they’re an amazing group of people, and discreet is something they’ll always be. They’re my family. So they won’t be at all fazed about Neal and me.

He pulls me into his arms and I stare up into those big, baby-blue eyes and my stomach dances around like a million butterflies have just been let loose in there. ‘Everything doesn’t have to make sense, Kira. Sometimes confusion can be hot.’

I laugh, because he’s right. I can either spend what little time we have together dreading the day he leaves, or I can make the most of the next few days and create some wonderful memories of a beautiful man who came and changed my world. Because I think he’s doing that. He’s changing me. And those changes are still going to happen, even after he’s gone. ‘Hot confusion, huh?’

‘Our speciality,’ he laughs, tucking a finger under my chin and kissing me so gently I can’t help but gasp. I want this man so much it hurts. Everything about him hurts. But I need the pain.

‘Come on.’ I smile and take his hand again, dragging him down a corridor towards the dressing rooms at the back of the club. ‘Joey’ll be waiting. And he promised me he’d have some champagne on ice.’

‘
Champagne
, huh? You really are a fan of the bubbles, aren’t you?’

‘You know I am.’ I stop for a second outside the larger, communal dressing room and throw him another, slightly sexier smile, pushing myself up against him, my mouth almost touching his as I speak. ‘And I’d be an even bigger fan if a hot-as-hell American poured some over my naked tits and licked it off, slowly, while he finger-fucks me to orgasm.’

He groans long and low and I kiss him, feeling that groan vibrate right through me, and he catches my waist, pressing me hard against him as we kiss deeper and longer.

‘Oh, for heaven’s sake, get a bloody room.’

I pull away from Neal and turn to see Joey leaning against the doorpost of the open dressing room door, arms folded, eyes rolling.

‘This is Neal.’ I can’t stop the stupidest, biggest smile from appearing on my face as I introduce Neal to my fabulous friend, but I can see Joey is still wary. He’s always going to be wary. I just have to live with that.

‘I’d gathered that, angel. I didn’t think you’d just cornered some poor, random bloke to lock lips with… Oh, my… I see she wasn’t exaggerating about those eyes…’

I stifle a giggle as I see Joey’s expression change to something verging on lust, for the briefest of seconds, as he finally turns his attention to Neal. And then he remembers he’s supposed to be wary of this man and his trying to claw that demeanour back is even more amusing.

I take Neal’s hand and give it a squeeze, rubbing his arm and kissing his shoulder.

‘Put the poor man down, Kira, and get inside. I’ve got bubbles.’

We follow him into the dressing room, which is half-full with all the other drag artists who’ve already performed tonight, all of them my friends, and all of them unable to take their eyes off Neal. It really is quite funny to watch, but I’m not surprised by their reactions. He really is one of the most incredible looking men I have ever set eyes on, and of course others are going to feel that way, too. Especially a room full of gay men. Neal has the kind of appeal that spreads far and wide, no matter what sex you are.

‘Stop gawping, you bunch of sex-starved queens,’ Joey sighs as he flounces past everyone to his station. ‘You’d think they’d never seen a gorgeous man walk through this dressing room before… anyway, angel. Drink?’

‘You have to ask?’

‘I know. How stupid of me. Neal?’

He looks at Neal, and Neal gives him one of his wide smiles and Joey gasps out loud, which makes me laugh. I can’t help it.

‘Yeah. I’ll take a glass of whatever you’re offering.’ Neal gives him another smile, and I swear I see Joey’s hand shake as he pours the champagne. He’s going to have a lot to say about this tomorrow, but right now I’m just enjoying the show.

It takes about five minutes for Neal to work his charm on everyone in the room, and as he chats to a group of our friends I stay with Joey as he gets ready to hit the stage.

‘I should have made you introduce him to me
after
my act. I’m a trembling wreck now.’

‘Behave. You’re fine. Anyway, I thought you didn’t trust him?’

‘I don’t. I still think what you’re doing is a huge mistake, but that doesn’t stop him from being a gay man’s fantasy, does it? You’re not exclusive when it comes to having horny thoughts about our American boy… and where does that accent of his hail from, angel?’

‘
Texas
.’

‘Oh, sweet Jesus, as if he wasn’t hot enough he’s also a cowboy.’ He sits back in his chair and fans himself with the end of a feather boa.

‘I don’t think he owns a Stetson, Joey.’

Joey looks at me – straight at me, his expression stern. ‘With respect, sweetheart, you know absolutely nothing about that man, except the size of his cock and the fact he’s verging on perfect to look at.’ He leans forward, his voice lowering just a touch. ‘How big
is
his cock, by the way?’

I just raise an eyebrow.

‘Such a spoilsport,’ Joey huffs. ‘I’m going with big. It’ll work so much better in my fantasies.’

I still say nothing, but I do smile, which kind of gives him a hint that he might be right.

‘So, you still set on spending the next few nights with him?’ Joey looks back in the mirror and fixes a long blonde wig firmly in place over his own short dark hair.

‘You know I am.’

‘Until he has to leave, huh?’

He turns to look at me again, and the once lightened atmosphere suddenly turns dark again.

‘Are you ready for that, hon? Because, if you don’t think… Kira, babe, maybe walking away now would…’

‘I should go see if he’s OK.’

He gently grabs my wrist as I make to slide down from the counter, stopping me from going anywhere. ‘He’s fine. They’re not gonna hurt him. Well, not unless he asks them to… Look, Kira…’

I shake my head and wrench my arm free of his grip. ‘Not tonight,
Joey
,
OK
? Please. Not tonight.’

Neal

I could watch her dance all night. The way she moves is hypnotic. Even the gay guys can’t take their eyes off her.

She hangs out here a lot, I can tell. They treat her like a princess, and I’m kinda guessing they’re like a little family and I’m this big, bad outsider who could hurt their girl.

They know how we met, I can tell that, too.
 
And I think she tells Joey everything, so he and probably everyone else in this place will know I paid for their princess; that I had two thousand pounds’ worth of mind-blowing sex from her before we both stopped fighting the confusion and moved on, to something I still don’t understand, but I can’t leave it alone. I can’t leave
her
alone.

I take another sip of beer and lean back against the wall, my eyes back on her as she moves her hips in time to the music, her eyes closed, her arms up above her head, and I want to see her do that naked. I want her to dance, just for me, naked.

‘She’s something, isn’t she?’

I turn to see Joey standing beside me, now dressed in his own clothes rather than the flamboyant stage outfit I last saw him wearing. ‘Yeah. She is.’ I look back at Kira. ‘She’s beautiful.’

‘She’s fragile.’

He’s trying to tell me something, I get that. He’s warning me off, because he cares about her, and that’s fine. I’m happy she’s got people around her who love her; look out for her. ‘The last thing I want to do is hurt her.’

‘But you will. You’re hurting her now…’

‘I care about her, Joey…’

‘You don’t
know
her enough to care about her. You don’t know the first thing about her, what she’s been through; why she needs protecting.’

‘From men like me?’

‘Oh, honey, she’s been handling men like you for years.’

‘But she ain’t ever let one get this close, huh?’

He looks at me, and I can see in his eyes how much he loves her. He’s scared, and he wants this to stop, he wants me to back off, but I’m not gonna. I’m going nowhere, not unless Kira wants me to.

‘Don’t make her any promises, that’s all I’m asking.’

I lock eyes with him. ‘I wasn’t intending to.’ I can’t make him trust me. There isn’t time. I mean, I don’t even know if Kira trusts me. Trust isn’t a part of whatever the hell this is that me and her have.

‘Don’t let her fall for you. You might think there isn’t time for that to happen, but… Walking away now would be so much easier.’

Jesus. This guy isn’t intimidated by anything. ‘Does Kira know you’re over here interfering in her life?’

‘If I don’t interfere in her life it turns to shit.’

I can’t help but laugh, because the last thing I think Kira needs is a gay bodyguard. ‘She seems pretty switched-on to me.’

‘Like I said, you don’t know her.’

He turns and walks away, and I laugh again. What the hell was that?

‘What’s he been saying to you?’

Kira’s by my side now, all danced-out and breathless. I want her breathless beneath me, over me, up against a wall, I don’t care, as long as I’m pounding into her. ‘Sounding me out, is all.’

Her eyes narrow, and she looks over towards Joey. ‘What’s he been saying, Neal?’

‘Nothing, Kira. He’s just worried about you – about
this
.’

She turns to face me, but her expression is still wary. ‘He’s too much sometimes. Don’t take any notice of him. He thinks I need him to fight my battles, but I don’t. Not anymore.’

I’m not sure she meant to say that last bit out loud, but I throw her a smile and hold out my hand, which she takes, and I pull her closer, kissing the tip of her nose, which makes her laugh – a truly beautiful sound.

‘What are we doing, Neal?’

She isn’t laughing anymore, and I pull her closer still, touching her cheek, her skin warm beneath my fingertips. ‘We don’t have time to ask those kinda questions, Kira.’

I don’t miss the brief flicker of sadness that flashes across her eyes, and I feel like someone just kicked me hard in the stomach.