Allegiant (28 page)

“
Sure,” she smiles. “The
winter course catalog went live today. Let’s see what you have left
to take.” She turns toward her computer, asks for my student
number, and then pulls up my program and transcript. “Looks like
you only have nine credits left.”

“
Nine?” I ask, surprised.
“I thought I had twelve.”

She scrolls through the screens and
determines that a course I took by accident my second year now
counts toward my degree. This is great news. The less I have to
complete, the better.

“
I was wondering about an
internship,” I say. “I was reading online last night and saw that
approved internships can count as credit.”

“
If you don’t mind my
saying so,” she raises an eyebrow, “it looks like you’ve been
spending several nights reading online. Everything
okay?”

I flush with embarrassment. I must have
drifted off to sleep around four or five in the morning only to
wake up unrested around seven. That makes five nights with
virtually no sleep resulting in some pretty impressive eye bags.
“The truth is, I’m hoping to move back home for my last semester.
If there’s someplace I can intern close to home and take my
remaining courses online that would be perfect. Being back here has
been…” I pause, searching for the right words, “…a little tougher
than I imagined.”

She gives me a sympathetic smile. “I bet.”
Mrs. Andrews wasn’t only my advisor; she was James’ as well. We
were both management majors and our last names started with D. She
reviews my transcript again. “I’m impressed with your grades,” she
comments. “You finished last semester stronger than I would have
anticipated. I assume this semester is going just as well in that
department?”

I nod. “It appears so. Right now,
anyway.”

“
Good,” she says and turns
around to grab a form off the credenza behind her. She consults the
computer and then jots down a few items. Next, she opens a drawer,
pulls out a few sheets of paper, and then pushes them toward me.
“You need an economics class, and Intermediate Macroeconomics will
be offered online,” she explains and points to the form on the
right. “Registration opens next Monday.” She shifts the forms and
shows me another. “This is a list of approved internship locations
in the area that will count for two business electives, if you can
secure at least thirty hours a week.”

I glance at the list and try not to frown.
All of these businesses are in the Kalamazoo area. This doesn’t
help me.

“
Now,” she continues, “you
have some time. If you can find an internship at a reputable
organization willing to follow these guidelines,” she shows me the
third sheet of paper, “as a faculty advisor I can sign off on the
credit.”

Now we’re talking. I smile as I pick up the
paper. “How long do I have to find a place?”

“
Technically until the
winter semester begins,” she says. “But I would try to find
something as soon as possible. Positions tend to fill up quickly
with students looking for experience to put on resumes.”

“
Got it,” I say and collect
the other two forms. I’m beginning to feel better
already.

After a moment or two of silence, Mrs.
Andrews asks, “Emma, may I give you some unsolicited advice?”

I look up from the paperwork. “Sure.”

“
You’re an excellent
student,” she says and folds her hands on her desk. “Your grades
reflect that, but more so you don’t shy away from a challenge. I
know a lot of people who would have taken what happened last spring
and used it as an excuse to drop out and quit. You didn’t and that
speaks volumes to your character.”

I give her a small smile. “That’s the
advice?”

“
The advice is to never
give up,” she says. “No matter what happens. Don’t let adversity
drain you; use it to make you stronger. You have great potential
and I would hate to see that go to waste.”

My eyes tingle and I focus on the ficus tree
in the corner. Giving up on school was never an option. Is she
telling me this because I look like I’m about to jump off the
nearest bridge? “Do I really look that terrible?” I ask, trying to
joke about it.

She laughs. “Actually, yes.”

I shake my head and choke out a laugh,
too.

“
You wouldn’t believe the
number of students I see that can’t make a move without me,” she
continues, sitting back in her chair. “But you’re self-sufficient.
You’re motivated. Those are valuable skills that people either have
or they don’t.”

I look down at the papers in my hand. “I
just want to find a way to make things the best they can be for
me.”

“
That’s smart,” she nods
with approval. “Whatever it is that’s going on in your life right
now, you’re using it to stay true to yourself. Use whatever it is
to move you through this next semester. Before you know it, you’ll
be graduating.”

I catch her eyes. “Thank you,” I say
sincerely. “I needed to hear that.”

“
Well, there’s something
else you need to hear.” She leans forward. “Get some
rest.”

I nod and chuckle. “I think that will be
easier now that I have a plan.”

She smiles at me warmly. “I’m glad I could
help.”

As I head back to my apartment, I process
Mrs. Andrews’ words and hope starts to bloom inside my chest.
Someone I barely know thinks I’m strong; someone recognizes my hard
work and dedication. I’m not just a sorry mess dwelling on lost
loves, lost friends, and loneliness. I accept challenges. I’m
motivated. I have potential.

A grin breaks out across my face and I walk
faster, determined. I’m not going down without a fight. I have a
life to live. No James, no Dane, no Garrett, no problem.

It’s time to stand up and rock my
future.

“
Shel?”

“
Hey!”

“
Listen,” I shift the phone
to hold it between my face and my shoulder, “I need some ideas. I
have to find a business near home that will take me as an
intern.”

I can imagine her frown. “Why?”

“
Because I’m moving back.”
I pick up another shirt from the laundry basket. “I found out I can
intern in place of two electives next semester.”

She pauses. “This is because of the James
visions, isn’t it? They’re back, aren’t they?”

She sounds concerned. I want to tell her
that the James “visions” are gone indefinitely, but I opt for “No,
they’re not. I’m just tired of being alone.”

“
Well, that’s easy,” she
says. “Bay Woods.”

I groan. “Definitely not. Try again.”

She laughs. “You could always try
Legionnaire. Mr. Meyer seemed smitten with you.”

“
Ugh! Shel! I’m being
serious!”

“
Let me think…”

I wait in silence as I fold clothes. Where
is my other gray sock?

“
Duh!” Shel exclaims. “The
veterinary clinic. Call Matt. His dad will take you in a
heartbeat.”

“
Yes!” I drop my socks back
into the basket. “Shel, you’re a life saver.”

“
Well, that is the idea. I
am studying to be a doctor.”

After I hang up with her, I call Matt
immediately. He seems just as excited as I am about the possibility
of my working at the clinic. Apparently Sheila, the current office
manager, is pregnant and due in January. Matt was asked to fill in
for her, as he occasionally does, but he’s dreading the long
commitment. He, too, has some classes to finish, but he doesn’t
want to commute back and forth to school.

“
I’ll talk to my dad about
this tonight,” he says. “Take down his email address, so you can
send him the school’s guidelines.”

I find a piece of scrap paper and scribble
down the address as he recites it to me.

“
It will be great to have
you around again, Em,” Matt says sincerely. Too
sincerely.

“
You’ve been talking to
Shel, haven’t you?” I ask suspiciously. She’s probably mentioned my
fake visions.

He laughs. “Only every day.”

After emailing Matt and
finishing laundry, I curl up on the couch and flip through the
television channels. I finally settle on an episode of
Dr. G Medical Examiner
,
and I imagine Shel as Dr. G. It makes me laugh. I know she prefers
live bodies to dead ones, but as her investigative skills at Dane’s
birthday party come back to me, I think she would make a great
M.E.

As the show goes on, my body relaxes. Half
way through I crash hard into a deep sleep. It’s so deep that I
don’t change positions, I don’t dream, and I don’t feel LB jump on
or off me. I’m dead to the world, just like one of Dr. G’s
patients.

That’s why, when I feel my body being
roughly shaken, I’m startled. I lash out, kicking and hitting. My
foot connects with someone, and my eyes fly open. Garrett is
standing above me.

“
What do you want?” I ask
angrily.

“
There’s trouble,” Garrett
says in somber tone.

I force my eyes open. “What are you talking
about?”

“
We need to get you out of
here.”

He tries to grab my elbow, and I jerk it
away. “No! Why?”

He looks at me with a mixed expression of
anxiety and remorse. “You’re in danger.”

As soon as he utters those words, James
immediately appears on the other side of the room. “What’s going
on?” he demands.

Garrett regards him with a grave expression.
“The Allegiant are coming for Emma.”

“
The hell they are,” James
snaps.

Garrett turns to me. “I’m serious. You need
to pack, and you need to pack now. I have access to some money
–”

He’s cut off by James shoving him roughly
against his shoulder. “She’s not going anywhere!”

“
Listen!” Garrett eyes the
both of us. “The Allegiant know.” He kneels in front of the couch
to meet my eyes. “They will use James to get to me and use you to
get to James.”

A thousand questions blaze through my brain.
I know I should be scared, but all I feel is anger. “Then why don’t
you disappear?”

“
I will,” he says, and then
looks at James over his shoulder. “We all need to.”

“
What happened?” James
presses, stepping forward. “Emma has done nothing wrong; she’s got
nothing to do with being Reborn.”

Garrett stands to face to him. “Meg and
Jenna were overheard.”

James squints in confusion. “So? Whatever
was heard could easily be written off as gossip.”

“
Not this time.” Garrett
shakes his head solemnly. “Meg was Touched.”

My stomach starts to knot in an
uncomfortable way. I have no idea what that means, but judging from
James’ dazed expression, I know it can’t be good. His eyes gloss
over, and he looks as if the breath has been knocked from his
lungs. After a moment his eyes dart to mine, and he moves to stand
in front of me protectively, crossing his arms. He’s all business
as his eyes lock on Garrett. “Tell me what we have to do.”

“
Wait.” I jump off the
couch. “What does that mean? She was Touched?”

James turns his face toward me. “The
Allegiant can render you immobile and force you to speak the
truth.”

I start to nod in understanding, but then
stop as I process what that means. I give James a wary look. Meg
knows about Garrett, obviously, but she also knows about James. She
knows about us, about his inability to let go. My voice sounds
small. “Do you think –?”

James assumes my question and interrupts.
“Absolutely.” He sets his mouth in a grim line.

“
We need to get moving,”
Garrett redirects our attention. He looks anxious as he addresses
me. “You have a suitcase, right? Or a bag?”

My mind scrambles. He wants me to pack? For
where? My eyes catch the paper on the coffee table that holds Dr.
Randall’s email address, and this afternoon floods my memory. I
remember how confident and happy I felt about my plans. I was going
home. “No,” I say to myself and then raise my head adamantly. “No.
I’m not going anywhere.”

“
Emma.” Garrett gives me an
exasperated look.

I eye both him and James. “In case you
haven’t noticed, I have a life to live. I have obligations. I can’t
just pick up and leave! What about school? What about my
parents?”

Garrett reaches for my elbow. “We’ll work on
that while we drive.”

I yank my arm away. “Drive where
exactly?”

Garrett’s eyes flash to James. “We need to
work that out.”

I laugh sarcastically. “So, there’s no plan?
We leave and drive aimlessly? I kick you out of the car in one town
and then hole up in another? Alone?” I shake my head. “I don’t
think so.”

James wraps his cool hand around my arm in a
reassuring way. “You don’t have a choice.”

I shoot him a scathing look then stalk away
from him, pulling my arm through his grasp. I set my hands on my
hips and face them. “I always have a choice.”

Both of them regard me with a mixture of
frustration and concern. I know The Allegiant finding out is bad
news, but there has to be another way to work through this. Running
and hiding sounds cowardly and childish.

“
Em,” James says, pleading.
“You don’t understand.”

“
You’re right,” I scowl.
“If The Allegiant show up, what can they do? If you two leave, I
won’t know where you are. I’ll have nothing to tell
them.”

“
You’re wrong,” Garrett
says. “You’ll have your thoughts and memories to share.” He walks
toward me. “Do you want James taken from you? Your past together
erased?”