Allegiant (14 page)

“
I’m never going to get
used to that.”

He leans in to me. “Walking through walls is
no big deal.”

“
Not that,” I say and then
correct myself. “Well, yes that, but what I meant was other people
appearing in my personal space.” I give him a stern look. “If
you’re going to bring company by could you at least warn me? I look
like crap.”

He grins. “You never look like crap.”

I look down at my comfy ensemble and then
back at him. “All of you look really nice,” I say, pouting. “Meg is
gorgeous and Jenna is super cute. Thomas is all business-like. What
happens when you die? Does everyone get some sort of after-life
makeover?”

James laughs. “We’re stuck with what we’re
buried in, Em. Of course we’d have on nice clothes.”

I give James a once-over, raising my
eyebrows. “Your mother allowed you to be buried in a polo and
jeans?” I have a hard time believing this. His mother is
so….uppity.

“
Actually,” he smiles, “she
wanted me in a suit. My dad wanted me in my hockey jersey. They
compromised and went with what you see here.”

I gape at him. I knew he checked in with his
parents from time to time, but I didn’t know it had started so soon
after the accident. His casket was closed; I never saw…I swallow. I
despise thinking of that day. The day of my meltdown, the day it
hit me that James was gone forever.

“
Hey,” he says softly,
concerned.

Our bond must give away my emotions, so I
shake them away. I step back and tip my head, assessing his outfit
in further detail. “Well, I’m glad your mother didn’t get her way,”
I say appreciation. “You’ve never been a suit kind of guy. Besides,
all those layers would have covered up this.” I reach out with one
hand and touch his chest, running my fingers over his much more
prominent pectorals. “Have you been working out?” I ask,
engrossed.

He inhales sharply. “No.”

My eyes follow my fingertips as I trail them
slowly down his side. “Then what’s going on?”

“
It’s a side
effect.”

My fingers travel across his now defined
abdominal muscles and up the opposite side of his body. “Of
what?”

“
My strength as a
Guardian.”

My hand lands back where it started and I
meet his blue eyes. “How strong will you get?”

His hands land on my hips and he pulls me to
him. “Apparently not strong enough.”

His mouth meets mine and moves against me
insistently, frigidly. I expect him to stop abruptly, like the last
time we kissed this way, but he doesn’t. I can’t stop my pulse from
racing. He puts pressure on my hips and turns me, pressing me back.
My leg hits the bed, and I tense up so I won’t fall. He feels my
reaction and moves his hands to my waist to steady me, his mouth
disappearing from mine. It reappears beneath my ear and leisurely
travels down my throat while his hands slide from my waist around
to my backside. All of my nerves jump to attention.

“
I thought you said this
wasn’t a good idea,” I breathe.

“
It’s not,” he says against
my neck.

He leans into me and pushes me back, forcing
me to reach out and brace myself against the bed. I try to do this
gracefully, but I end up falling right on top of my textbook and
notes. The binding of the book slams against my back. “Ow!”

James releases me suddenly. “What
happened?”

I roll onto my front. “I landed on my book.”
I start to laugh, then whine, “That hurt.” Only I would do
something this idiotic.

“
Where’d you land on it?”
he asks.

I reach around and point to the middle of my
back. “Right there, on my spine.”

He lifts my shirt and reaches beneath it,
pressing his cool hand against my skin. “Right here?”

“
Yes.” I swallow. “What are
you doing?”

“
No need for an ice pack
with me around.” I can hear the smile in his voice.

I try to look over my shoulder, eyebrows
raised. “Are you sure that’s your only motive?”

He laughs and then sighs. “I miss you.”

“
I’m right
here.”

“
No. I mean I
miss
you,” he says,
emphasizing his utterance of miss, so I pick up on his
innuendo.

I move through his hand and roll over on to
my back, propping myself on my elbows. I look at him
quizzically.

He gives me half a smile. “Do you have a
question?”

I sit up. “You’re getting stronger.”

He nods.

“
You feel different than
you did before, and Meg’s hand felt even more solid than yours.” I
tip my head. “What else is changing? How far could you have taken
this?” I gesture between us.

James gives me a resigned sigh.
“Unfortunately, not far enough.” He gathers my books from the bed,
sets them on the floor, and sits down beside me. “You know we
can’t…I can’t…”

“
You’ve said that before.”
I twist my body and lean over to kiss his cheek. “So why are you
acting like this?”

“
Old habits die hard, I
guess.” He gives me a guilty smile.

I rub my hand reassuringly against his back.
“You’re going to get into trouble,” I remind him and then move to
the head of my bed, so we can lie down together. I curl myself into
him and change the subject. “Will you feel more solid eventually,
like Meg?”

“
The way Meg feels is the
most ‘solid’ I’ll get,” James says. “We reach our full form in
about six months, but Meg’s been a Guardian for nearly forty
years.”

I look at him, impressed. “She ages well,” I
joke. “Is there a beach in the Intermediate?”

His brow furrows. “What do you mean?”

“
Meg has a nice tan. She
must lay out.”

James stifles a laugh. “No, there’s no
sunbathing in the Intermediate. There are beaches, though, when The
Allegiant feel like recreating them.”

“
Huh?” I ask,
perplexed.

“
The Allegiant decide what
each day will look like,” James explains. “Yesterday, the landscape
was Paris at night, complete with a faux Eiffel Tower, bistro
chairs, and gas street lamps. The day before that was a random
spring meadow, dotted with lilacs and tulips. I sat beneath a
weeping willow tree.”

“
Really?”

He nods. “I’ve walked along the edge of a
recreated Grand Canyon and wandered through mossy forests. Why?
What did you think it looked like?”

I shrug. “Bright, with fluffy white
clouds.”

He smiles. “No; there’s no fluffy white
clouds.”

LB decides to join us, jumping up on to the
bed at our feet. We watch her as she lazily makes her way between
us. She finds a comfortable spot and curls against my belly. James
scratches behind her ears and she purrs loudly.

“
So, how’s Shel?” he asks,
moving his hand to scratch under her chin.

“
Better,” I say. “Matt
showed up and they talked. She still seemed a bit testy when they
left, but knowing Shel she’ll get over it soon enough.”

“
What were they fighting
about?”

I groan. “Dane.”

James stops petting LB. “Huh?”

I figure it’s okay to tell James about
Matt’s secrecy since it doesn’t upset me that much anymore. “Matt
knew Dane was engaged and he didn’t bother to share the
information. Shel was upset because she thought he should have told
me.”

James’ face twists. “Yeah. I agree.”

“
He was under the
impression that Dane was breaking it off.”

“
Did he break it
off?”

“
Who knows?” I say and
shift my weight. “It doesn’t matter.”

James gives me a knowing look, and I decide
not to talk about Dane anymore. “Tell me what happened last night,”
I ask. “Did you meet that Joss person?”

He nods. “I think you would like her. She’s
older, like Thomas. Her real name is Joslyn, but everyone calls her
Joss.”

“
And?” I press.

“
Thomas asked what she
heard from Meg, but then took the opportunity to introduce me to
her as well and get the information from the source.”

“
Wait.” I’m confused. “How
is it that you don’t already know these people?”

James smiles. “Everyone has a Guardian
remember? The Intermediate has just as many Guardians as there are
people on the planet.”

“
Sounds
crowded.”

“
Not any more so than
here.” He moves to prop himself on his elbow and his eyes light up.
“This group of us, we have to stay scattered. Talk discreetly and
meet in different locations. A large group continually disappearing
together would be noticed.”

“
And that would be bad,
right?”

James gets more animated as he speaks. “If
The Allegiant find out what Garrett’s done and discover who’s
protecting him, they have ways of making us talk. They will want to
know where he is and will try to stop him before he’s completely
Reborn. We’ll all be punished.”

I prop myself up to meet his eyes. “So what
do you have to do?”

“
Keep Garrett hidden. Quell
any rumors and keep him updated, in case he needs to relocate. The
more time goes on, the more it will be noticed that Garrett is
missing. Guardians just don’t up and disappear forever.”

“
Keep him hidden for how
long?” I ask.

“
About six
months.”

“
Huh,” I say, as my mind
turns over what he has shared. “Six months to become a full
Guardian and six months to undo it.” I meet his eyes and whisper,
“Do you know how it’s done?”

James frowns and shakes his head. “Garrett
won’t share the method. No one knows except him and his brother. He
doesn’t want us revealing anything in case we’re questioned.”

“
Garrett has a brother?” I
ask, surprised.

James nods. “I haven’t met him yet, but I
will soon.”

“
Wow.” I lie back down.
“This is just…it’s just crazy.”

James leans over me and he regards me with a
smirk.

“
What?” I ask. “You’re
really enjoying this covert operation, aren’t you?”

“
Damn right.” He breaks
into a grin.

“
Of course you are,” I
grimace. “Don’t get caught. It worries me.”

He moves closer. “I wouldn’t think of it,”
he says and kisses my forehead. When he leans back he’s smiling
like a little kid who just got away with stealing a cookie before
dinner.

“
Why are you so happy? You
haven’t been this relaxed since you came back.”

“
Because,” he leans in to
me again, “if Garrett succeeds, I plan on being human again,
too.”

When Garrett didn’t show up for Ethics on
either Tuesday or Thursday, I was concerned. When he didn’t show up
for our tutoring session on Friday, I was annoyed. Just because I
know what’s going on doesn’t mean I still don’t need help with my
Stats homework. It would have been comforting to see him in our
regular setting. I haven’t had a chance to speak with him one on
one since last week and, for some reason, it bothers me. Maybe I’m
just worried that if I don’t see him something terrible has
happened; James can only check in with me so often. I do want
Garrett to succeed and for purely selfish reasons. There is a way
for James to come back to me – really come back to me. We need this
to work for us.

It’s Saturday afternoon and the fall weather
has officially arrived. I know I have a soft, comfy cardigan
somewhere and, as I rifle through my closet, I come across the
household items I purchased for Garrett. I’d forgotten about the
bags because I moved them out of the way when Shel was here, to
make room for our campsite picnic. I smile to myself. I just found
an excuse to stop by my neighbor’s apartment, to make sure
everything is okay, without appearing nosy.

After finding my sweater, I knock on
Garrett’s door with the bags in my hands. I hope he’s home. I
haven’t seen James in a couple of days and knowing everything is
moving along as planned would be a comfort right now.

The door cracks open and turquoise eyes
appear. “Yes?” Garrett realizes it’s me and opens the door wider.
“Oh, hi Emma.”

I raise my eyebrows. “You forgot our
tutoring session yesterday.”

He presses the palm of his hand against his
forehead. “I completely forgot. I’m so sorry.” He steps back and
fully opens the door. I walk inside, and he shuts the door behind
me. “Did you bring your book? I have time to go over some things
now if you want.”

“
No.” I hold up the bags.
“I just came by to give you this.”
And
make sure you’re still around
,
I think.

“
What is it?”

I set the bags down by my feet. “The things
I bought for you before the bar incident.”

Garrett smiles. “I remember. The stuff that
made you sing.”

My face flushes in embarrassment. “Right.
Remind me never again to drink anything with tequila in it.” I open
the first bag. “Okay. So I got you a comforter for your bed, a
shower curtain, and some hangers.” I open the second bag. “And some
dishes, some bathroom towels, and this.” I pull out the oven mitt
and laugh. “You’ll need this eventually. You can’t grab hot pans
with your bare hands forever.”

He steps forward and takes the oven mitt
from me. “Thanks,” he says and fondly looks at the mitt. “When
you’re a Guardian for 68 years you tend to forget a lot of human
things.”

I try not to look surprised. “Sixty-eight
years?”