All That Glitters (21 page)

‘Oh yeah?’ she asked listlessly. ‘That will be a load of fun.’ Jesus, she thought, she had to snap out of this.

‘Yeah,’ Aaron replied curtly. ‘There’s a benefit dinner for some charity or something next week, and you’re going. There’s a red carpet, photographers, the works. It’s a great opportunity for you and Danny to show the world how in love you both are.’

‘But we’re not in love, are we?’ Ella remarked facetiously. She knew she was being difficult, but she couldn’t seem to help herself.

‘According to the contract you signed, and the vows you made at your wedding, you definitely are.’ Aaron’s eyes ran over Ella’s body. Her face was pale, her normally slender body was doughy, and her skin was dry and spotty. She really did look like shit.

‘You’ve got a week to sort yourself out,’ Aaron snapped. Who did this girl think she was, anyway? Victoria Beckham? ‘And believe me, girlie, if you don’t get your act together I have ways to make you snap back into shape.’

Ella sat up. ‘Are you threatening me?’ she asked slowly. She knew she should care about being spoken to like this, but for some reason she didn’t. She just felt numb.

Aaron moved his face so close to hers that she could see the broken blood vessels around his nose.

‘Yes I fucking am . . . and if you don’t do what I say, I’ll do a lot worse,’ he hissed.

Ella blinked, and then laughed. ‘Oh, whatever,’ she said, and she flopped back down on the bed. For the first time since she’d known him she was not scared of Aaron Kohle, no longer intimidated by his power. She had bigger things to think about, and as soon as Aaron slammed her bedroom door in disgust, Ella picked up her new iPhone. She’d phoned Johnny twice today, and each time she’d left two pleading messages on his voicemail. She didn’t know how many times she had to apologise for the press attention, and tell him she wasn’t a love-cheat, but she’d do it as many times as it took. Life as Danny Riding’s wife was only bearable if she had Johnny.

She couldn’t do this without him.

But just as Ella began to dial Johnny’s number, there was a knock on her bedroom door. Danny.

‘Aaron’s really pissed off with you,’ he said awkwardly, as he lay down on the bed next to her. It was the first time that they’d ever shared a bed together, and Ella was surprised at how uncomfortable she felt. It was as if Danny was encroaching on her personal space, which was ridiculous. Despite everything, they were friends. Perhaps their friendship had been rocked recently, but they were in this together. They were partners.

‘I know,’ Ella sighed. ‘He’s annoyed because he thinks I’m not kowtowing to him any more. But I’ll still do everything he asks me to do. Don’t worry.’

Danny was silent for a moment, and Ella turned on her side to face him. God, he was sexy. His green eyes sparkled as they caught the light from the window, and he had the faintest shadow of stubble on his strong jaw. For the briefest moment Ella wished that Danny wasn’t gay – that he really
could
be her happy ever after – but she knew it was impossible. And that for as long as she lived this life and pretended to be his wife, she’d never find that happy ending.

‘It’s not you being rude that’s bothering him,’ Danny eventually said, and Ella’s violet eyes widened in surprise.

‘No?’

‘No. He’s worried about you. He thinks you’ve lost your spark . . . your drive. He doesn’t think . . .’ Danny’s voice trailed off, and Ella sat up.

‘He doesn’t think what?’

Danny sat up too, and he took Ella’s hand in his. He hadn’t wanted to hold her hand in a long time, but as soon as her hand was enveloped in his, Ella felt warm love rush through her. It wasn’t sexual love, nor was it passionate, but it was love all the same. She’d missed him.

‘He doesn’t think you want to do this any more. He doesn’t think you want to be my wife.’

Ella bit her lip. She’d had a feeling this conversation was coming, but she hadn’t expected it to be so soon.

‘I don’t know what to say,’ she began awkwardly. ‘Part of me
loves
being your wife. I love spending time with you, love our life, and am so proud of you. It’s amazing to be part of your world, and I’m so grateful for the opportunity and for everything you’ve given me. I know I’ve messed up, and that you probably don’t think I appreciate sharing your life with you, but . . .’ Ella’s voice disappeared, and she looked down at her sheets.

‘But?’ Danny pressed gently.

‘But I don’t know if I can do this any more,’ Ella said honestly.

Danny let go of her hand, and as Ella sneaked a look at him she saw he looked deflated. Defeated. She’d never seen him like that.

‘Is it because of Johnny Cooper?’ he asked quietly. ‘I know he can give you passion and excitement, but Ella, you always said that you didn’t
want
that. That you didn’t trust it, and that you know it doesn’t last.’

‘But you think it lasts!’ Ella exclaimed. ‘It’s exactly what you and Yves have, and you’re not scared of it.’

‘That’s true,’ Danny said slowly. ‘But I thought you were different from me. From everyone.’

‘I thought I was too,’ Ella agreed, and she cast her mind back to how she’d declared that she was never going to have a relationship again. After Fin had broken her heart she’d told herself she was never going to allow herself to fall in love, or to feel that thunderous passion that swept you up completely.

But she had.

And if she could get through this – if she could stand Johnny not returning her calls, or potentially never speaking to her again – she could get through it again. If there had to be a ‘next time’, if Johnny really didn’t want to be with her, she knew that she could risk falling in love again. Because she knew how empty her life felt without that burning infatuation and excitement, and she didn’t want a life without it.

A life with Danny meant she couldn’t have it, and she knew what she had to do.

‘I’m sorry,’ Ella said, and as she said it her eyes filled with tears. When she’d married Danny she’d intended to stay with him for ever, and to be his perfect wife, but she couldn’t do it any more. ‘It’s over.’

Danny squeezed Ella’s hand tightly, and to her surprise, his eyes filled with tears too.

‘I knew it was too good to be true,’ he said simply. ‘And I don’t blame you for your decision. But you know, you don’t have to leave. We can work something out, sort out a deal with Johnny so you can be with him too, so you can still see him . . .’

‘It wouldn’t work,’ Ella said sadly. ‘I don’t want my happy ever after to be part time, and I don’t want to see my Prince Charming only when Aaron Kohle says it’s okay. I want all-consuming happiness, and to have that I can’t be with you any more.’

Danny nodded. ‘But what if Johnny doesn’t want to be with you any more?’ he asked as Ella winced. ‘You could stay. You have the perfect life, the perfect house, the perfect clothes . . .’

‘And no job, no friends, and a bad reputation that’s going to take a while to get over,’ Ella finished for him.

‘Is it really that bad?’ Danny asked softly, and Ella nodded.

‘I have to leave and I have to start my life again,’ she stated, but as she said it she wondered if it was really possible. Could a fallen wife of a footballer ever make it alone in the big bad world?

‘I love you, and I really wanted this to work for
you
,’ Ella said. ‘But it’s time to think about myself, and start my life again.’

‘I don’t want you to,’ Danny whispered. ‘Let us try to make you happy.’

Ella shook her head and felt her resolve harden. Whatever happened next, she had to do this. It was time to make it on her own.

Chapter Fourteen

The papers had been beside themselves when they’d found out that Ella and Danny had separated, and the story splashed on every front page over and over again. It was the story of the year, the biggest scoop ever, and everyone was talking about it. As soon as he could Aaron had spun a tale to his contacts about how Danny had finally kicked her out, and when it made the front page of the
Sun
he taunted her by waving it in her face.

‘Danny’s kicked you out,’ he sneered, as he flung the paper at her. It hit her on the chest, but Ella didn’t react, or pick the paper up. She wasn’t about to give Aaron the satisfaction.

‘You know what that means, don’t you?’ Aaron continued, as he paced the floor. ‘It means you actually
have
to leave now. I own Castle House, and I don’t want you in my property any more.’

‘Hang on, that’s not fair,’ Danny interjected, but Aaron wasn’t having any of it.

‘It’s more than fair,’ Aaron snapped. ‘
She
ended your marriage, and according to this paper, you’ve booted her out. So she needs to go.’

‘God, it doesn’t have to be so brutal,’ Danny said, but Ella interrupted him calmly.

‘Danny, it’s fine,’ she said. ‘Aaron’s right – it
is
time for me to leave.’

‘But you don’t have to go immediately,’ Danny said firmly. ‘Take a couple of days, pack up your clothes and your jewellery, and choose which furniture you want—’

‘She’s not getting her hands on anything,’ Aaron yelled. ‘She can walk out of here in a bin bag as far as I’m concerned. We own all of this stuff, and Little Miss Shag-Around isn’t having any of it.’

Danny eyed Aaron with a look of distaste. It was the first time Ella had ever seen him look angry with his manager. It impressed her.

‘Don’t be so stupid,’ Danny said. ‘If she leaves the house with nothing the papers will find out about it, and I’ll end up looking callous. Is that what you want?’

Aaron’s expression shifted slightly. ‘You’re right, Danny-boy. Didn’t think of that.’ He turned to Ella. ‘You can have your clothes and some of your jewellery – the cheap stuff – but you’re not having my furniture.’

‘That’s fine with me,’ Ella said as civilly as she could. ‘Thank you.’

‘Yes, you should be thanking me. You’re walking away with thousands of pounds’ worth of shit,’ Aaron spat. ‘And you don’t deserve it.’

Ella shrugged, and picked up the newspaper as if to say their conversation was over. It was only when Aaron’s back was turned that Danny gave her a friendly wink, and Ella smiled back. He was a decent person, and despite everything, he continued to be on her side. It meant the world to her.

Although Ella felt that the latest front page about her and Danny splitting up was another grey cloud hanging over her, she hoped the silver lining would be a phone call from Johnny. As Ella packed her belongings in the calm of her bedroom in Castle House she kept one eye on her mobile, but despite willing it to ring, it never did. At least, not with a call from Johnny.

‘So you’ve split,’ Stacey said as a greeting after Ella answered the phone. She’d wavered for a minute before taking the call – it had been months since she’d spoken to her step-sister, and she wasn’t sure if she had the emotional strength to deal with their uncomfortable relationship right now – but Ella knew she had to. However you looked at it, Stacey was a friend. She was family. And even though they’d not spoken for months, Stacey was reaching out to her.

‘It’s been horrible, Stace,’ Ella whispered. ‘I didn’t mean to, but I fell so hard for Johnny and I’ve ruined my marriage. Danny’s disappointed with me; Johnny won’t take my calls; and my life as I know it is over. I need to move out of Castle House, and soon.’

She heard Stacey sigh down the end of the phone, and Ella knew instinctively that even if she wanted to, she couldn’t ask to stay with her. She’d neglected their relationship, and they’d barely spoken after she’d married Danny. How could she ask Stacey for anything after the way she’d behaved?

‘So what are you going to do? Move in with Mum and Phil?’ Phil was Ella’s father, who’d married Stacey’s mother Margaret a few years after Ella’s own mother had passed away.

‘I can’t,’ Ella began. ‘Wherever I go there will be people trying to get interviews or photos. They’d trample all over Margaret’s flowerbeds and she’d kill me.’ Ella was only half-joking, but the truth was she didn’t feel like she
could
go back home. Ever since her father had married Margaret all those years ago they’d been distant, and she couldn’t remember the last time she’d properly spent any time with them. It had been years.

There had been an awkward silence at the end of the phone, and then Stacey had sighed again. ‘You could always stay with me and Jay,’ she’d said eventually. ‘The sofa’s quite comfortable, although I’m not sure there’s enough room for all your stuff.’ Her voice trailed off, and Ella knew she couldn’t accept the offer.

‘It’s okay,’ she’d said softly. ‘Nash has offered me his spare room until I work out what I’m going to do.’

‘Nash?’ Stacey asked in surprise. ‘Who’s he?’

Ella briefly shut her eyes. There was so much Stacey didn’t know, and so much Ella had to fill her in on. But right now she didn’t have the energy.

‘Aaron Kohle employed him to be my manager, and even though I thought he hated me, he’s really come through for me. I wasn’t sure about taking up his offer, but I don’t think it’s a good idea to live alone right now. Not until everything’s calmed down.’

Ella didn’t mention that she was petrified about being alone late at night, and that she was worried about not having security and protection from the paparazzi and angry Kingston United fans that thought she was the devil incarnate. But apart from taking Nash up on his offer, what could she do? Despite the money Danny had generously given her – for him it was a month’s salary, but for her it was a fortune – she didn’t want to squander it on big burly bodyguards who could walk down the street with her. And, she thought, she’d look ridiculous – like she thought she was someone special.

It hadn’t crossed her mind that Nash would offer her a room in his flat, but when he’d sat her down and said he wanted to help to make up for his previous behaviour, she found herself giving in to his offer. She’d thought that Nash would be angry with her too – after all, if she’d stayed with Danny he would never have been fired – but he was adamant about looking after her, saying that even though he wasn’t on the payroll it didn’t mean he wasn’t concerned.

As Ella thought about how surprising Nash continued to be, she packed her clothes and realised she’d have to sell them – they’d have no place in her new, more simple life. The gorgeous silk Alberta Ferretti dress, the pleated Miu Miu skirt, and the Marc Jacobs bow-top would all have to go, she thought sadly, folding them as carefully as she could. There was no getting away from it: she might not be in urgent need of money
yet
, but she didn’t know how quickly she could get a job, and she knew that as beautiful as the clothes were, she wouldn’t feel comfortable wearing them again.