Authors: Ilana Fox
All That Glitters (36 page)
Nash nodded, and produced a bottle of wine. ‘I wanted to say sorry too. It was a bit of a weird moment, wasn’t it?’ he said.
Ella led Nash into the kitchen, and she settled him on a stool at the breakfast bar while she struggled with the wine bottle’s cork. The champagne was for when they celebrated. If they celebrated.
‘It’s okay,’ Ella said. ‘These things happen. And I don’t blame you for thinking that I was still in love with Johnny. I can see why you thought that.’ Okay, so that was a bit of a lie – she had no idea why Nash would have even considered that to still be the case – but she wanted to smooth things over.
‘It’s just that for the longest time you seemed obsessed with him,’ Nash started to explain, and Ella felt her heart sink. She didn’t want to talk about Johnny Cooper any more; she wanted to talk about them. ‘When he left you it was like you turned into a crazy person. You must have checked your phone a hundred times a day to see if he’d called, and when he didn’t you’d phone him all the time. I’ve never seen anything like it.’
Ella swallowed hard. ‘What I had with Johnny wasn’t real,’ she said slowly. ‘I didn’t really know him, not properly, and he captivated me – he said and did all the right things, and I thought that was enough.’
‘Enough?’
‘Enough to prove that it was okay to have a relationship with someone again. Enough to prove that not all men were like Fin.’
Nash sighed. ‘You’ve been through a lot, I know, and I can understand that you’re not completely over everything that happened to you.’
Ella felt panic rise up in her. This was it. This was the moment that she had to prove to Nash once and for all that she was over Johnny. ‘But I am,’ she said seriously. ‘It took a lot of determination and sleepless nights, but through setting up the website and finding out what Johnny really was up to, I am over him. For the longest time I didn’t think I’d ever be over him, but what I learnt along the way is that even though he ripped my heart out, he never really had it. He held it in his hands and he toyed with it, but my heart was never his.’
Nash took a sip of wine. ‘That’s some speech,’ he said eventually, and Ella rushed to correct him.
‘It’s not a speech,’ she explained, ‘it’s the truth. And I am most definitely over Johnny Cooper.’
Nash stared at Ella for what seemed like the longest time, and she felt a tiny ball of hope begin to uncurl inside her.
‘If you really believe that you’re over Johnny – and all that mess – then I couldn’t be happier for you,’ he began to say, but just then his phone began to ring. He looked at it, and then smiled to himself. ‘It’s Ansku,’ he said apologetically, ‘and I’ve really got to take this. Hang on.’
Nash excused himself into the hallway, and as Ella waited for him in the kitchen she could hear him talking. He sounded so light, so happy . . . and it made Ella realise that it had been some time since Nash had been like that with her. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d heard Nash laugh – properly laugh – or when he’d last seemed relaxed around her, and she suddenly felt very tired. What was she doing? Nash wasn’t in love with her. He wasn’t even vaguely into her. To him she was just a former client who’d had a rough time, and because he was a nice guy he’d been there for her.
It was heartbreaking.
‘Sorry about that,’ Nash said, as he walked into the kitchen, and when Ella saw the light in his eyes she felt her insides shatter into thousands of pieces. Without meaning to she began to sob, and once she’d started she couldn’t stop.
‘Has – has something happened?’ Nash asked in alarm, and Ella shook her head. She could barely speak.
‘I just realised something I should have known a long time ago,’ she said, but she didn’t elaborate further.
Nash sat back down again and stared at her. Ella knew she was coming across as crazy – and perhaps she was – but she really didn’t feel like she could help it. She struggled to pull herself together.
‘How’s Ansku?’ she asked politely, as she tried to change the subject, or, at the very least, remove the spotlight from her.
Nash frowned for a moment, and then replied. ‘She’s fine,’ he said. ‘We’ve had some good news. We’ve been trying to open an agency in New York, and our lawyers just closed the deal. We’re going to have an office in Manhattan!’
Ella forced the biggest grin on her face that she could and tried to look pleased. ‘Nash! That’s so exciting! New York!’
Nash smiled. It was a perfect, easy smile. ‘I know!’ he exclaimed. ‘We’re over the moon! We’ll have to go out there to set it up of course, but we’ve been planning it for ages and we can’t wait to get started. I was a bit worried about expanding so soon, but like Ansku says, when the timing’s right, it’s right!’
Ella struggled with all her might to keep her smile on her face. ‘She’s right about that,’ she said. ‘It’s all about timing.’
‘Exactly. And, well, it will do me good to get out of the country for a while.’ Nash suddenly looked sober, and Ella felt pained. She knew what he meant. He wanted to get away from her – to cut those ties.
‘Well, it sounds like you’ve got a lot on!’ she said with forced joviality. ‘So don’t feel like you have to stay for supper. I mean, it’s only beef and it will probably be disgusting, and you must have lots to talk about with Ansku.’
‘I still have time to celebrate with you,’ Nash said softly, but Ella knew he didn’t mean it. How could he?
‘Really, it’s okay,’ Ella said as firmly as she could. ‘You should get going.’
Nash wordlessly left the kitchen and put his coat on. As he buttoned it up he stood in the doorway to the kitchen and watched Ella carefully. She wished he wouldn’t. It was taking every single bit of strength she had not to fall apart.
‘Well, if you’re sure,’ he said, and he started to move towards the front door. Ella heard his footsteps on the polished parquet floor and a tear slid down her face.
‘Oh,’ Nash said suddenly, and he appeared in the doorway again. ‘I’ve just remembered, I left my scarf in your living room last time I was here, I’ll just grab it . . .’ and before Ella could stop him Nash was standing in the dim living room, taking in the scene that Ella had painstakingly created.
On the floor in front of him the pink and purple tea light holders lit up a perfect heart, and in the middle of it sat the bottle of champagne in a silver bucket. The softest music was playing – Keane, his favourite – and the living room looked so romantic, and so like something out of a fairytale that Nash was momentarily stunned.
But then he turned to Ella.
‘Did you do this for me?’ Nash asked quietly, and Ella was torn. She was so embarrassed that she wanted to deny all knowledge of it, but she knew it would be futile. She nodded, took a deep breath, and decided to tell the truth.
‘Nash, I love you,’ she said gently, as if each word was breaking her heart. ‘I’ve been in love with you for months, and at times it’s been unbearable. When you accused me of still thinking of Johnny last week I could have laughed. I don’t think about Johnny any more; all I think about is you. You’re the best man I’ve ever met, and the sexiest too, and there have been times, so many times, when I’ve wanted to jump into your arms and tell you just how much you mean to me. But I was scared to. I was scared to lose your friendship, and the thought of that would have killed me.’
Nash opened his mouth to speak but Ella was resolute. She had to say it all now or she never would.
‘I know that you don’t think of me like that. There have been so many times when you could have kissed me, or told me how you felt, but you didn’t, and I know you don’t fancy me. I don’t really think you like me any more. And now you’re moving to New York with Ansku, and I don’t blame you. You’ve spent so much time with me, healing me, and you deserve some time to yourself. I just wish I’d known that before I did all of this –’ she gestured to the display of love she’d created in her living room – ‘and made a fool of myself. I’m sorry.’
Ella was sobbing now, hard, and when Nash didn’t come over to her she felt even worse. She’d embarrassed him and put him on the spot when he clearly didn’t feel the same way about her, and she knew she’d lost him for good. Ella forced herself to look up at Nash one final time, and was stunned to see he was half smiling and half crying too. Their eyes met, and suddenly he was in front of her, and he was kissing her, and Ella could feel his warm lips on hers and their tears combining in salty lakes on their cheeks.
‘I love you too,’ Nash said. ‘I love you so much.’
Ella cried even harder. ‘Do you mean it?’ she said, and Nash nodded ferociously.
‘I’ve loved you from the moment I met you in Castle House,’ he said, ‘when we sat in the garden and you were playing the role of Danny Riding’s wife so perfectly. When you started seeing Johnny I thought it would kill me, and then when you broke up and you were devastated I didn’t know how I’d cope. I never thought for one second you had feelings for me – I just assumed I was like a big brother to you. That I was just a friend.’
Ella laughed. ‘You’re the love of my life, Nash Barnwell,’ she said. ‘You always have been. I just didn’t see it.’
Nash scooped Ella up and carried her into the living room so they were standing in the middle of the flickering tea light heart. The scented candles made the room smell slightly of roses, and Ella felt like she was in paradise.
‘Well, you can see it now,’ Nash said, ‘and I do too. So how about it, Ella Aldridge? Will you let me be your boyfriend so we can have our happy ending?’
Ella was overcome with joy.
‘Yes,’ she said happily. ‘Let’s do it – let’s live happily ever after,’ and as Nash began to kiss her again Ella realised she wasn’t scared of being hurt or of having her heart broken again. Nash wasn’t just the kindest, sexiest, funniest man she’d ever met.
He was also her best friend – her Prince Charming.
Ilana Fox has worked for a variety of national newspapers and websites, including the
Daily Mail
, the
Sun
,
ASOS.com
and Shopcade. She lives in East Dulwich but can mostly be found causing trouble in Shoreditch.
Find out more about Ilana online at
www.ilanafox.com
or follow her on Twitter
@Ilana
.
Spotlight
The Making of Mia
All That Glitters
AN ORION EBOOK
First published in Great Britain in 2012 by Orion Books.
This ebook first published in 2012 by Orion Books.
Copyright © Ilana Fox 2012
The right of Ilana Fox to be identified as the author of this work has been asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All characters and events in this publication are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published without a similar condition, including this condition, being imposed on the subsequent purchaser.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN
: 978 1 4091 2286 9
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