Against the Wall (15 page)

Matty’s mouth makes a move to my breasts, bringing his hand up to grasp one while he holds my nipple between his teeth. Oh son of a lover. If my toes curl any tighter, I’ll get a cramp. His hands feel like they're branding me as they travel down my body, his lips trailing not too far behind. “What’s this?” he says, running his fingers along the band of my panties. “I thought you wanted to be naked with me.” Well I did want to be naked with him, but I didn’t want his bare man parts to bump against my bare woman parts because I might just die, for real.

But looking down into his eyes, I see a man with desire and I want his man parts all over my girl parts, and I don’t care how frustrated I’ll be when it doesn’t happen. Matty sits up, tugs on the sides of my panties, and slides them down my legs before tossing them on the floor.
Thank God I shaved
, is my first thought. My second thought is,
Holy shit, Matty and I are completely naked in my bed
.

Matty brushes his lips against mine and I catch his bottom lip sucking it softly until he tugs away. He works his way from my mouth to my jaw, and then gently traces kisses down the center of my chest, pausing at my navel, dragging his tongue along each of my hip bones, and continuing down to where he parts my legs and, oh my ...

“
You know that doesn’t count right?” Matty tells me as we cuddle together in the aftermath of panting and howling, and hushed screams into a pillow.

“
What’s that?” I utter, still trying to catch my breath.

“
You telling me you loved me.” He laughs.

“
Shut up,” I squeal, pulling a sheet over my head.

“’
Oh God, Matty, I love you’ was great and all, but I have a feeling you were a little distracted.”

“
Just a little,” I say, flipping back the covers to reveal my flushed cheeks.

“
Oh God, Matty, I love you,” he repeats again, giddy with giggles.

I punch him in the arm, jokingly. “Let me do that to you and let’s see what comes out of your mouth.”

“
Uh … no thanks,” he says, pulling me toward him. “I can't be responsible for what I might say if I saw those beautiful lips around me.”

“
So you can do it to me but I can’t do it to you and we can’t have sex?” I question him.

He kisses my shoulder. “Yup, not until you’re in love with me.”

“
Well with a performance like that, how can I not be? Holy son of a cunnilingus genius. I can’t remember … ” I stop myself from bringing up the past.

“
What can’t you remember?” he asks me. I can’t lie to him. And I know he wouldn’t want me to.

“
Let’s just say, the last time someone went there was in college.”

“
Are you kidding me? You mean Chase didn’t?” He props himself on an elbow, obviously curious. I fall to my back with embarrassment. Matty settles himself in his familiar position with one arm around me. I look up at him and try to focus in the darkness.

“
Nope, he did it once when we were younger, but since we got back together post-grad, he never did it again. This whole thing. Being naked together wasn’t … I don’t know. It was just different. Very simple.”

As hot as Chase is, you’d think sex with him would be sexy at the very least. But it wasn’t. Sure, he made me want him, but not like the fire I feel with Matty. Not even close. Chase and I were only nude with each other long enough to seal the deal, clean up, get our clothes back on, and go to sleep. I can’t ever imagine Chase smashing me against the wall. I don’t think he and I ever had sex anywhere other than a bed. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed making love to Chase, and I never yearned for anything else. Maybe because I didn’t know it could be anything other than what it was. I guess you never miss what you never had. But now that I’ve felt this undeniable chemistry, I doubt I’ll ever be satisfied with the in-and-out style I once knew.

He brushes his lips along my cheek. He has definitely shown me love and sex can be so much more than what I’ve been accustomed to. “I can’t wait for you to fall in love with me, Shel.” His lips meet mine, and warmth radiates my entire being.

“
Neither can I,” I tell him, and completely mean it.

Date night, or day. Whatever.

Why did I let Matty talk me into this? After our hot night of unclothed ecstasy, I was surprised he still wanted me to go out with Jacob. He tried to convince me our relationship needed it. I hope he knows what he’s talking about. I don’t want this to back fire on us.

What happens if Jacob is this amazing man, who casts a love spell on me, and I can’t tear my eyes away from him? What happens then?

Okay, so I’ve probably seen way too many movies, but a man can sweep a girl off her feet, right? Love at first date is possible. I think. Maybe Jacob will end up being the man of my dreams, assuming he drinks good beer and doesn’t smell badly, or something. But even then, there’s still another problem. He works with me. There is no way this will work out. I may have made an exception for Matty, but I refuse to do the same for anyone else.

Yet, here I am getting ready for a picnic for crying out loud. It’s winter, and we’re going to have lunch outdoors. Well it is 80 degrees out, but come on. I can’t remember the last time I went to the park. I’m more of an indoors girl. Any place with air conditioning is perfect. Any place I don’t have to worry about getting itchy from grass or bugs is also at the top of my list. What about me would give Jacob the impression that a day strolling along in a park—full of birthday parties and couples getting their pictures taken—would be my cup of tea?

Arriving at the park, it’s just like I had imagined. Each shelter is occupied with balloons and families, some have bounce houses nearby. A barefoot couple in jeans and white tees are near the lake posing for what I’d guess are engagement pictures for their save-the-date cards. Classic. When I finally take the plunge, I’m wearing a tutu for my photo shoot. I don’t think that one has been done.

Jacob is where he said he’d be. At the far end of the park beyond the hiking trail and under a giant oak tree. He’s sitting on a large red gingham blanket and has a little matching basket perched next to him. Is this really happening? If I watched this on the LMN, I’d probably be giddy and smiling at the TV, but in real life, it is unbelievably corny. I fight the urge to laugh, instead, muffling a loud chuckle with the back of my hand. I’m not sure if he sees me yet, and I don’t want to be rude. But I don’t see how I’m going to make it through lunch with this muscle man who is obviously trying to compensate in the gym for his ultra feminine side.

“
Hey, Shel,” he says as he hops to his feet, and puts his hands on my shoulders.

“
Hey,” I squeal back, as I turn my head quick enough for him to peck only my cheek.

He removes his hands and wipes them on the sides of his jeans as if trying to wash away my cooties.

Gesturing to the blanket, Jacob says, “Shall we sit?”

I guess we shall. I plop my bag down and kneel to the ground, sitting cross legged in front of him. He does the same and it dawns on me I haven’t seen a boy sit crisscross applesauce since we played Duck Duck Goose in elementary school. His jeans tighten around his muscular thighs and I notice the thin fabric of his shirt is hugging his chest and fits snuggly around his biceps. This Mario Lopez get-up is far from the button up camp shirts and khaki pants he wears to work. And he smells good too. Clean and minty, like I could pop him in my mouth like a piece of sweet mint gum.

“
Are you checking me out?” Jacob asks snapping me from my thoughts.

My cheeks flush with heat, and I’m thankful I have my sunglasses on. I wave him off, with a low chuckle. “Don’t be silly. You checking me out?” I turn the tables on him. I have no idea what he’s been doing for the last ninety seconds while I was feasting on his firm body.

“
I’ve been doing that for months,” he says with a grin.

My face warms again, and I don’t know what to say. I can’t imagine he’d make an ass out of himself gawking at me today. I’m just wearing a pair of jean capris and a tank with a purple shrug over it. Nothing too fancy, and not the slightest bit sexy. I applied minimal makeup and twisted my hair up in a clip. No frills at all.

I had no interest in coming out on this date so I wasn’t about to get all gussied up for Jacob. But now that I’ve had a chance to take in the sights, I’m rethinking that decision.

“
You ready to eat?” Jacob asks, bringing the basket closer to him. I nod, and he pulls out a cloth napkin and hands it to me. Nice. Still corny, but cute.

Jacob opens the top of the basket and starts passing items to me. A plate, a bag of celery sticks, and what appears to be a sandwich wrapped in butcher paper.

“
So what do we have here?” I ask him. Conversation doesn’t seem to be flowing freely. I’m thankful we can at least talk about food. I don’t want to strike up chitchat about work, so I’m hoping something else will come to me soon.

“
A veggie wrap. I don’t eat animals, so it’s a spinach wrap with a variety of veggies tossed in a balsamic vinaigrette. You’ll love it. Won’t even miss the meat,” he says, tearing through the paper and wrapping his mouth around the burrito/sandwich for a ginormous bite.

I won’t miss the meat. Like hell I won’t. When I finally open the wrap, I peek inside at all the vegetables. Every color of bell peppers, spinach, cucumbers, beets, artichokes, and God only knows what else. Where’s the beef? I’m almost afraid to take a bite. My body might reject the healthy bits in my belly and puke it all up. I’ve never craved a Double Cheeseburger from McDonalds so much before in my whole life. Or a juicy T-bone, and I don’t even like steak. But I want one right now.

I glance at Jacob who is devouring his wrap with a playful grin. He chows down on it like I’d eat a piece of chocolate, like it’s making love to his taste buds. I crunch down on my first bite. The peppers leave a nasty flavor in my mouth and I’m grateful for the refreshing cucumbers or I’d probably gag. Oh, this is so not me. I’d much rather eat a PB & J.

We steal glances at each other in between bites, but there is a lack of interest and it’s starting to get uncomfortable. I decide to try my luck with the celery sticks because this veggie wrap is truly making me want to run to the supermarket for a pound of the fattiest ground beef in stock.

“
Oh, I forgot. Are you thirsty?” he says, digging into the basket once again.

I nod through my crunching of celery, which is so hydrating I feel like I’m drinking a gallon of water.

Jacob looks to be concealing whatever he’s pouring into red plastic cups. Whew. Alcohol. Just what the doctor ordered. I lean forward to take a peek and I can’t hold back the laughter. I crack up so much I have to take off my glasses to wipe my eyes.

“
What?” Jacob asks innocently. “What’s so funny?”

I almost fall back holding my stomach with big belly laughs that are on the verge of full blown snorting and wheezing. He looks at me like I’ve stabbed him in the heart, but I can’t help it. I try to calm myself and concentrate on long steady breaths.

I wipe my eyes again with my napkin and take one last deep breath before telling him, “I’m sorry. I just haven’t seen a wine cooler since I was in high school. I didn’t realize people still drank them.”

“
Oh,” he murmurs. He finishes pouring our drinks and hands me one. He takes a swig of his own and lets out a sigh. “I guess I drank them in high school too, but never busted the habit. I’m not a fan of beer but I can totally go for a four pack of these.”

And here Matty is always concerned about sounding like a girl. Jacob definitely has him beat in that department. Red gingham, veggie wraps, and wine coolers.

Needless to say, I won’t be going on a date with Jacob again.

“
Well, it’s official. Jacob is not the man of my dreams,” I tell Mel when I stop at her house on the way home from the park.

“
Duh-uh,” she says, putting a beer and bottle opener before me. I crack off the top and down more than half the bottle.

“
Do you have anything to eat? I’m starving,” I tell her, placing my head on her counter.

“
I thought you were eating lunch,” she says. “Don’t tell me you were one of those kind of girls who only ate a salad?”

I lift my head to take another drink. “Oh no, I ate a veggie wrap and a handful of celery sticks.” I twirl my finger in a circle as if to say
big whoop
.