Against the Wall (11 page)

So maybe The Notebook isn’t the best idea for our first movie together, and not for the reasons previously mentioned. I’m a blubbering idiot more than once while watching the flick. This movie seriously kills me. Beautiful but heart wrenching. But then, I remember Matty knows me. It’s not like he’s not aware I’m a blubbering idiot. No use in trying to act like someone I’m not.

Finally, the ultimate sex scene comes on the screen. Allie comes back to see Noah after seeing something about him in the newspaper. It's not long before they start kissing and ravaging each other up the staircase before he throws her against the wall, her legs tie around him, and they kiss fiercely like there’s not a care in the world.

“
Have you ever done that?” I ask him, surprising myself.

He lets out a slight chuckle. “What’s that?” He knows what I’m talking about.

“
Have you ever just screwed the hell out of someone like in the movie, throwing her against the wall, with your pants around your ankles like you’re saving the world with this one last act of passion?”

He runs his fingers through his hair, and scratches his head. “Wow. This movie will never be the same for me again.”

“
I’m serious.” I sit up and away from him to get a good look at his expression.

“
Well, I wouldn’t call what they’re doing ‘screwing’.”

“
What would you call it then?”

His hand disappears in his hair again. “Maybe I’m gonna sound like a chick, but I think they’re making love.”

I snicker. “Really? It’s not what I picture when I think of making love?”

He chuckles again. “What? You think making love has to take place in a bed, all sweet and innocent.”

“
Well, yeah. Kind of, I guess.” That’s exactly how I imagine it.
That's
all I've been doing for the last ten years, before Chase dropped my ass and the dust started to settle down there.

“
Hmm. I guess I think if you love the one you’re with, anytime you have sex, it’s making love.” Good point.

“
Even if you get
slammed
against the wall?” I ask, grinning.

“
Even if you get slammed against a wall, yes. Making love can be very passionate. I think the more in love you are, the more passionate it is, and the better it feels. It’s just all better. I’m gonna sound like a chick again, but I like sex that’s meaningful.” He licks his lips. “Wait. Don’t get me wrong. Cheap sex serves a purpose, but I’d rather have someone I can make passionate love to all the time than a different person every now and then just so I can blow off steam.” He unleashes these words while mingling his fingers with mine.

I take a moment to consider this. He does sound like a girl. But what he says makes sense, and it sounds appealing. He wiggles my fingers in his, getting my attention, “And I guess a quickie with the one you love does the job too.”

“
You never answered my question?”

He seems to consider what I’m asking. “Nope.”

“
Do you think people really do that? Outside of movies and books? I mean, I’ve heard a lot of stories about real-life sex before, and never once have any of my friends shared anything even resembling Rachel McAdams and Ryan Gosling.”

“
That’s because all the stories you’ve heard probably have something to do with keg parties or Margarita Mondays at Alcapulco’s.”

I actually laugh out loud thinking there’s probably some truth to that. “You’re funny,” I tell him.

“
As are you.” He scoops me up and brings me to him for the beginning of a make-out session that rivals our on-screen counterparts. Although, his shorts aren’t gathered at his ankles and I don’t feel picture frames digging into my back. But this … this is just as good. Matty slows our pace and presses his moistened lips to my swollen mouth, and I think,
I want a man who loves me enough to nail me against the wall.

Eventually, Matty and I are sprawled out on my sofa, with my body on top of his and my knees on either side of his waist. My hair covers our faces like a curtain as I work kisses from his lips to his neck. His scent is clean and fresh, with the subtle hint of a citrusy cologne. He doesn’t bathe in it. I like that. I want access to his shoulders, his chest, but this damn shirt is in my way. Instead, I nip at his neck some more as I make my way back to his jaw line, strong and sharp. My mouth comes down on his and his tongue slides against mine in slow waves of pleasure. He pauses for a beat, sucking on my bottom lip. With a hand wrapped in my hair, he pulls gently, pushing my face upward to grant him access to my neck. My weakness. Kiss my neck and it’s all I can do to keep myself from letting go right now.

Matty continues to concentrate his efforts on my throat as my breathing races to almost panting. He has me where he wants me and I wouldn’t stop him even if I could. This is too damned hot. With one hand still tangled in my hair, his other is full of my ass, and with each tightened grasp, I can feel him pulse through me. I let out a moan. “Oh God, Matty,” I whisper, as he thrusts his hips upward showing me just how much he’s enjoying this too.

He moves his hand from my bottom, wraps it around my waist, and with one swift motion, he swings me around and now I’m beneath him. We sink into my sofa, and the pillows start to close in around us. It’s like Matty reads my mind. He lifts me once more, and takes me with him as he kneels to the floor. We nestle together, holding each other, and breathing heavily.

“
You need a break?” he asks me, with a wink and a sly grin.

“
Are you crazy?” Not like it’s really a question. “No way.” I take him by his neck and yank him down for another smooch.

“
You’re my kind of woman.” He laughs into my ear, and then begins planting kisses on my neck and chest, tracing the outline of my v-neck shirt with his lips.

I bring my hands down to touch his ass. I fight the urge to lift my hips into him. Now that would be a bad idea. Moving along, I catch the edge of his shirt, and run fingers along his bare back. Stroking his soft, warm, dampened skin, I love the feel of his muscles in the palms of my hands. The more I explore, the more his shirt slides up his long torso. I tug on it. Matty understands me and with one hand, he yanks his shirt over his head.

I take a much needed pause to enjoy the sight before me. Pressing my hands to Matty’s chest, I tilt myself upward to graze his pecs with my lips. My lack of abdominal muscles sends me flat on my back wanting more. One side of his mouth rises in a smile, and his eyes crinkle at the edges. I smile back.

“
You’re gorgeous, Matt Fuller.” His luscious mouth comes down on my neck again. I sense his teeth drag along my collarbone, and I arch my back, thrusting my hips into his swollen shaft. “You’re killing me, Matty.”

The heat in his eyes bears down on me. I know he feels the same.

“
And you’re beautiful, Shelly Gelson. Just beautiful.” His soft lips brush against mine. He kisses my nose, and just underneath each of my eyes. “I love your little freckles. They make you even more beautiful.” His lips graze the same area again. “Each and every one.” He touches his lips to my mouth once more before he rolls over next to me, exhaling a deep breath.

Quickly, I prop up on my elbow and stare at him, lying there, breathing heavily, and leaving me hanging, but there’s that smile that has me undone. The silly grin on his face and the swell in his pants tells me he's enjoying himself as much as I am. “What are you doing?” I ask him. I said I didn’t need a break.

“
Taking a breather,” he mutters, through a chuckle.

“
Why?”

“
Because you’re killing me too.”

Oh. I see. Not only are we enjoying ourselves, but we're also frustrating the hell out of each other—in the best way possible. “Uh. What should we do then?” I ask him, honestly. Although, if the throbbing between my legs and tenderness of my breasts is meant to go away, I'm going to have to get as far away from Matty as possible. Across the Pacific doesn't seem far enough to chill the sensations I'm experiencing.

He props himself up on his elbow too, just like me and rests his other hand on my waist. Caressing my back, he tells me, “We probably shouldn't do much more than this. For now anyway. Not until you’re ready.”

“
Ready for sex? Matty, this isn’t my first time. I am
ready
for sex.” He rolls on his back laughing at my plea. I continue, “Why are you laughing at me, butthead? I’m serious.”

He clears his throat and grins at me. I lean over him, resting my chin on the backs of my hands on his chest. He plays with my hair, running strands through his fingers and then letting them fall.

“
I know you are, Shel, but it doesn’t mean you’re ready
here
.” He taps on my temple. “When we make love for the first time, I want you to love
me
… entirely, and only me.” The thought crosses my mind. Do I love Matty? Of course I do. He’s Matty, my dear close friend. Someone who I might just want to be more than friends with. But, do I
not
love Chase anymore? That’s a tough question. Sometimes I think I always will. “Don’t over think this, Shel. I can see the wheels turning in your head. It’ll happen.”

“
So you’re confident I’ll fall in love with you?” I ask, teasingly.

He pauses, staring into my eyes. “Never been so confident in anything or anyone in my life.” He kisses my nose.

“
You’re serious, aren’t you?” I utter.

“
As a heart attack,” he says, with sincerity written all over his face.

I bite my lip. He is
so
dead serious. “So what now? Until then?” I ask. It’s a reasonable enough question to put out there at this point.

“
This is fun. Reminds me of high school,” he tells me. We chuckle. “Although in high school I, at least, got to second base.”

“
I think that can be arranged, Mr. Fuller,” I reply. I sit up and pull off my shirt, exposing my black lacy bra. It’s been awhile since I’ve dipped into my girly gear. I think I heard a cheer from my panties when I opened the drawer.

His eyes dart from mine to my breasts and back. “Uh, I think second base is just a little boob action … on top of clothes. Not under.”

“
But this is high school remember. And you don’t have a shirt on. Peer pressure, you know. I don’t want to feel left out. Plus, if I don’t put out just a little bit, you might dump me tomorrow.”

“
But we’re not a couple, remember. I can’t dump you.” His fingertips trail over my ribs and rest at my sides.

“
Whatever, Matty.” I kiss his lips, before lightly dragging my tongue down his neck to his chest. This man is delicious. “Just go with it.”

And with that, we spend the next hour or so dry humping like teenagers on my living room floor. It feels good to be young again. Yeah right, if I had duct tape handy, I’d totally tie Matty up and have my way with him. Men are animals. It doesn’t matter what his brain is thinking. His other head has a mind of its own and would gladly stand at attention for me if I needed him to. But I don’t, have any tape that is. So I just enjoy the feeling of Matty’s hands exploring my curves and wait. Wait to see if he has a reason to be so confident.

“
Put something in with shit getting blown up,” I mention, as he shuffles through my DVDs again. “No passionate love making against a wall, or we’ll never make it to the credits.”

“
No kidding,” he agrees with a snicker.

“
Hey, it’s not my fault you’re so irresistible,” I respond. He pauses for a beat, almost not long enough for me to notice but I do. “What?”

“
Nothing,” he says, quickly looking from me back to the movies.

“
No, tell me, sucka. What’s up?” I put my hand on his back.

“
I was gonna say, if I’m so irresistible, it wouldn’t have taken you so long to notice me, but I stopped myself because I didn’t want to sound like a … ”

“
Girl.” I finish the sentence for him. He shakes his head, embarrassed and runs his hand through his hair. I’m starting to catch on to his little nuances. He always reaches for his hair when he feels uncomfortable. It’s his own boyish way of blushing. “You’re anything but a girl. In fact, I think I felt proof of that earlier.” I move my hand from his back to his upper thigh.