Addictive Collision (18 page)

“No,” Sophie said. “I think you should really get to know him better. You shouldn’t go on a trip with a guy unless you’re monogamous. For all you know, he could have a dozen girlfriends on the side. What happens if you have the time of your life, then get your heart broken?”

“At the very least,” Lori argued, “she’ll have sex with one of the hottest guys on the planet. It’ll be a trip to remember, and she’ll come back cobweb-free. Everybody can use a little vacation sex.”

“What if the sex sucks?” Sophie asked. “Neither of you has any idea what the other wants or needs. What if he gets you all heated up but can’t hit that G-spot?”

“She can always send him MapQuest directions,” Lori joked.

“Maybe Morgan doesn’t want a no-strings-attached fling,” Sophie retorted, clearly annoyed. “She’ll be shattered if the guy never calls again after they get back to the States.”

Lori shrugged. “The girl just got out of a breakup,” she said, talking about me like I wasn’t sitting right there. “Maybe she wants something casual. Maybe she’s just not ready for a commitment.”

Sophie raised a brow at me. “Do you think you can go from a purely physical relationship to an emotionally committed one?”

“I’m going into it with a casual mindset. Sure, Foster and I have this amazing spark, connection, and chemistry, but—”

“That’s lust, baby,” Lori interrupted.

I laughed, then continued, “Still, that doesn’t mean we’re meant for each other. I’m just going to see where it takes me. I mean, I’m still healing, and getting out there and having some fun sounds like a blast. If it leads somewhere, great, but if it doesn’t, I won’t be heartbroken. I’m a big girl, and I know what I’m getting myself into. I just want a little companionship, not a relationship. If things do keep going strong when we get back, maybe we could try dating, but that will depend on his feelings and mine. I have no expectations for this trip but a little fun...with a great guy.”

“I think you should save your next romp in the hay for somebody special, somebody who’ll be around,” Sophie said. “I’m not having sex until I find my special guy.”

“Gosh. But what if I’m not pretty enough for someone like him,” I suddenly blurted out as panic and self-doubt plagued me.

Lori clapped my shoulder. “Like Courtney Love once said, ‘You don’t have to be beautiful to fuck whoever you want.’”

Sophie slapped her. “You’re so not helping!”

“She knows she’s gorgeous. What guy doesn’t drool over her?”

“Yeah?” I said. “Name one.”

“Well, I guess they aren’t so obvious about it since you’ve been married, but you’re a very beautiful woman. Now take a long, deep breath before embarking to the tropics with your poster boy.”

“I can’t do poster boys. I’m so out of this guy’s league.”

“You’ll be fine.”

“But other women turn their heads and gasp when he walks by.”

“So. Let ‘em be jealous.”

Just then, my sister walked into the room. “Don’t panic. You’re a blonde bombshell, and he’s hot for you. Just quit worrying and have a good time. If it happens, it happens. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t. You can always do him when you get back. Condoms don’t expire that fast.”

“Gee. Thanks for the advice, sis.”

“If you’re gonna wear that bikini of yours, you better make sure you whack down the rainforest, if you get my drift.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure there’s a proper landing strip. Wouldn’t want anyone getting lost in the jungle.”

“Sculpt it like a porn star,” she joked.

I laughed. I tried to calm down, but deep inside, I wondered if I would be better off with an average-looking man. Tom was hot, too, and that had certainly got me nowhere.

“T
hat’s us,” Foster said, gripping my hand.

Smiling like a school girl, we boarded the plane. 

I buckled my seatbelt and looked at him. “I can’t believe this is really happening.”

He reached for my trembling hand. “It’s okay,” he said. “It’s gonna be great.”

“I’m a bundle of nerves,” I said, hoping I wouldn’t be so uptight that I’d ruin our potentially fabulous time in the Caribbean.

Foster looked into my eyes. “There’s nothing to be nervous about. Look, I’ve got no expectations, except to have a good time with a girl I adore. Just focus on The white sand beach, lots of sun, snorkeling, or maybe even swimming with a few sharks.”

I laughed.

“See? You’re in good hands.”

“I see that.”

“We’ve both waited a while, so what’s a little longer? We can have a great time as friends, then see what happens when we come back.”

“That does take the pressure off.”

“I’m just happy to be with you, and we’ll have a great time, with or without the...physical stuff.”

“I know I’ve teased you, even propositioned you.”

“I don’t want to rush into anything you’ll later regret and resent me for. Slow and steady wins the race, right?”

“Right.” I smiled. “I’m dying to try fresh pineapple.”

“I’m dying to taste fresh lobster.”

“A fresh cocktail.” I grinned. “We’re going to paradise!”

He squeezed my hand, and I instantly felt more relaxed.

“Imagine looking down and seeing your feet in the turquoise water,” he said.

“It’ll just be us, sand, and the gorgeous blue Caribbean.”

“We’re going to have the time of our lives. It was so generous of your father to give you those tickets.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got pretty great parents.”

***

W
e settled into our hotel and unpacked. I called my mom and dad and girls to let them know we’d arrived safely. Afterward, I went out on the balcony and enjoyed the ocean view.

Suddenly, Foster came from behind and wrapped his arms around me. “Look at all that crystal-blue water,” he said. “It’s like a postcard.”

“I guess you’d know, Mr. Mailman.” I gazed at the beautiful spectacle before us and inhaled the fresh ocean air. “I can smell the salt.”

“We’d better get going if you want to catch that ziplining tour.”

“Yeah. They say it’s the longest one in the Caribbean, down the mountainside and over the lush, green canopy. I can’t wait.”

“The brochure says pants and no open-toed shoes.”

“All right. I’ll change real quick.” I went back inside and slipped into a pair of lightweight white pants, tennis shoes, and a red shirt with a sweetheart neckline. I pulled my hair into a tight ponytail.

At the site, we were given a crash-course orientation, and then we signed our lives away on far too many disclaimers and waivers.

We climbed to the platform high in the trees.

“Oh,” I said, a little spooked.

“We don’t have to go,” Foster said. “It’s no biggie.”

“No. There’s no way  I’d miss this. I need to prove to myself that I can do this,” I said. “I know it sounds weird, but it will help me move forward with my life. The old me would never do something this crazy, but I’m not her anymore.”

He touched my face. “At least you don’t have to go it alone.” His eyes told me he was referring to far more than our ziplining escapade.

My eyes welled up with tears as I softly kissed his sweet lips. “I need you so much,” I said.

“And I need you just as much.”

The guy in charge told us to wait over to the left, behind some teenagers, a man in his late forties, and a brave, sweet granny. When I saw the old woman push off, hooting and shouting about how fun it was, it gave me all the courage I needed.

I put on my helmet and smiled. A tall man helped me into my harness with a carabineer that was attached to a wheel on a cable strung between trees.

“You ready?” Foster asked.

My toes hung off the platform, and I looked at the steep drop below. It was humid, and a droplet of sweat rolled down my face. I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly. “More ready than I’ve ever been.”

Hanging on to the cable, I pushed off from the platform. There was suddenly nothing under me except air and the rocky ground
way
below. I start to pick up speed, cruising downward.
Swoosh!

In that single moment, flying over the treetops, so many thoughts washed over me. I’d been broken, rejected, divorced. I was letting go, breaking the chains of the past. There was no room for resentment or regret. I let loose of my previous dreams in order to accept the new life in front of me. I knew I was going to soar. I let go and leaned backward, spreading my arms out as I had in the rain, dancing with Foster. I did not want to live in pain and loneliness any longer, and I knew I would never achieve what I was capable of as long as I was attached to my old life. High above those trees, I let go of the fear plaguing my life, let go of the pain. I let go of Tom, my past, so I could move on to the present.

There is a light at the end of the tunnel,
I realized.
There is always...hope.

This divorce would always be a part of me, but I’d never let it define who I was
. 

There was something magical about letting go, and it felt as if a huge burden had been lifted from my shoulders. I hopped off my emotional rollercoaster, and I accepted my life for what it was. I let go of heartache, I forgave Tom, and I was consumed by an amazing sense of peace.

I had never felt better in my life. It was a complete victory, the day I finally let go of my old life. I vowed to rebuild, to find amazing love once again, to be a great mom to my beautiful daughters. I knew, whizzing through the air, that there were endless possibilities for me.

This is just the beginning, a brand new, fresh start.

I felt alive. I was soaring like a bird, from tree to tree, with the wind blowing against my face. A rush of adrenaline shot through me. The whirring of the cable screeched the faster I accelerated. I had a bird’s-eye view of the jungle, moving across canyons and scenery I couldn’t see from the ground. It was as close as I’d ever get to flying, skimming across the top of the jungle like a rock on a pond. I was eighty feet off the ground, flying between the trees at a height where the jungle birds, monkeys, and other wildlife hung out on the thick branches.  What a stunning and unforgettable view it was, and letting go set me free.

The crew pulled me back in and helped me out of my gear, and I waited for Foster.

Once he was released from the contraption, he shot me a huge smile. “That was amazing, so exhilarating!” he said. “All that speed, height, and the wind whipping in your face. Flying through those trees was such a thrill.”

“I know! A total adrenaline rush! I’m so glad we did it.”

He flung an arm over my shoulder as we both burst out in excited laughter. “Me too,” he said. “Thanks for bringing me on this trip,” he said.

“You’re welcome. I’m just glad you’re having fun.”

“That I am.”

I winked. “You’re also a lot cuter than Alexis.”

He chuckled. “She’s missing out.”

“Yeah, but she’ll have fun in Tennessee.”

“Not as much fun as we’re gonna have!”

***

A
fter ziplining, we went back to the hotel and changed, then got a bite to eat. It was a delicious meal, but it was also very filling, and we both decided a stroll was indeed necessary. I enjoyed the warm wind and turquoise water as we took held hands and walked down the white, sandy beach, serenaded by the tide splashing against the shore. In all my finest dreams, I wouldn’t have imagined walking by that electric-blue water, surrounded by lush, tropical foliage, with an equally gorgeous beautiful man on my arm.

“It’s so beautiful here,” I said. “I’m just mesmerized by all this beauty.” I grabbed Foster’s hand and led him into one of the gazebos.

He wrapped his arms around me. “I am so lucky to have met someone as smart, caring, sweet, outgoing, and gorgeous as you, Morgan.”

I felt like the only girl in the Caribbean; he made me feel that special. It wasn’t just his words. There was something about the way he looked at me, the way he touched me, the way he paid attention to only me. He hugged me from behind for no reason, he held my hand, opened doors, and pulled out chairs. But above all, he genuinely listened to what I had to say. Foster made me feel like I was the only girl in the world.

He wrapped his arms around my trembling body. I held his gaze as his lips lowered, ever so gently, against me in a soft touch, growing stronger as sparks flew.

A
t dinnertime, we got all dressed up in our finest and went to one of the best restaurants, where we were delighted by filet mignon, lobster, and fine wine. We even finished it off with champagne with chocolate-covered strawberries.

I felt so comfortable with Foster, as if I’d known him for years. The conversation flowed easily, and our connection deepened as we talked about everything. We planned to spend the next day relaxing on the beach, soaking up rays, and frolicking in the water. We even thought about renting some jet-skis or snorkeling, and I couldn’t wait. Whatever we did, I knew I would have unforgettable fun with foster.

“How about a moonlight stroll?” he asked after dinner.

“I’d love to.”

As we walked along, I admired the beautiful nighttime landscape. I breathed in the fresh air and inhaled the salty scent of the ocean. I’d never been to the tropics, but it was easy to see why everyone raved about it. It truly was paradise. I took my sandals off to carry them, because the warm sand felt so good, like a massage on my feet.

After we walked down the beach and then came back up again, I stopped and glanced around. “Hear that?” I said. “They’re playing ‘Hot, Hot, Hot.’”

“A beach party. Wanna go?”

“Nah. I’d rather have you all to myself.”

He grinned.

I glanced up at the glittering stars as the scent of tropical flowers wafted all around us. “The stars are even more beautiful here, without all the big-city lights. It’s just a clear sky, with an ocean of sparkling stars. It’s breathtaking.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “It’s amazing, but it doesn’t even begin to compare to you. You’re the paradise I can take home with me.”

“Everything you say just blows me away, Foster,” I said.