Above the Noise (44 page)

Calon practically carried me up the stairs to the apartment and tucked me into bed. Before my eyes closed for the last time, I watched him sitting in the corner chair going through a shoebox of photos I’d never noticed on his bookshelf. I watched his face light up, and I watched tears drop into his lap. It had been an amazing day, and it felt as if everything was where it was supposed to be.

Until Monday after my appointment, when he’d fly back to Los Angeles without me.

I LAY IN
bed, Becki cuddled up next to me, and tried to calm the butterflies in my stomach. It was our twenty-eight week appointment with Dr. Daily. I wasn’t sure what I was nervous for, but I was. I was pretty certain we knew the extent of the issues we faced with Abigail’s health and development, so I was uncertain as to what was causing the unsettled feeling in my gut. I looked at the clock, and my brain instinctively did the math for how many hours I had left before I had to be at the airport. That’s where the anxiety was coming from, leaving my girls.

I fell back onto my pillow and ran my hands through my hair. Dammit, I was so overwhelmed. In the last month I came to terms with the fact that our child, who was a huge surprise, would be born with Down syndrome, I asked Becki to be my wife, and I found my sister after sixteen years. My phone buzzed. It was Bones.

“Hey. What’s up?” I whispered, so I didn’t wake Becki.

“Dude, we just got the call.” Bones’s voice was so loud I had to hold the phone from my ear.

“What call?” I pulled my arm carefully out from under Becki and walked quickly, but quietly, to the kitchen to brew some coffee and heat up water for her tea.

“Dude, Fire Box Entertainment and Ugly Stereo Records were at The House of Blues on Valentine’s Day and they both want to sign us!” Each word he spoke got louder, and by the end of his sentence, he was literally squealing like a little girl.

“Are you fucking serious?” My heart pounded, and my body temperature increased by about ten degrees. I leaned back against the counter and put my head in my free hand. I was stunned. We had been down this road a couple times before, but each time was with a record label that was just starting out. Fire Box and Ugly Stereo represented some of the bands we did covers for, big, well-known bands.

“Shit, yeah! So, here’s the deal. Fire Box wants us in their office tomorrow morning, and Ugly Stereo has us penciled in on Wednesday. You gotta fly back tonight.”

“Tonight? Shit.” The flying back and forth from Knoxville to LA wore me down. Becki and I had a couple days in LA after our Valentine’s Day proposal show. Jake and Gracie flew back to Knoxville the day after that show, so Gracie could get ready for her Special Olympics event. Becki and I enjoyed a couple days of newly-engaged bliss in our hotel room then flew back to Knoxville the day before event, which worked out well. We didn’t have any shows scheduled that weekend, and we had a doctor’s appointment on Monday. It was a bittersweet weekend, because when I flew back, Becki wouldn’t be joining me. According to Dr. Daily’s schedule, Becki needed to start bimonthly appointments, and flying back and forth so often would be too much for her body to handle, since our due date was just eleven weeks away.

“Unless you want us to kill you, yes, you need to fly back tonight.” Bones seemed frazzled, which was understandable, since I knew he could hear the hesitation in my voice. I had considered surprising Becki and Samantha staying for the week and taking a red-eye back to LA Thursday night for our Friday rehearsal before another weekend of scheduled gigs.

“I know, man. Just messing with ya. I’ll be there.”

“Good. See you tonight.”

“Yep.”

I ended the call and set my phone on the counter. I rubbed my face and tried to stop my brain from spinning. Everything I’d ever wanted was coming at me all at once, along with a few things I hadn’t
known
I wanted, which made the possibility of a record deal quite overwhelming, more so than I’d ever imagined it would be.

“Hey.” Her hands touched my bare chest at the same time she spoke. My body exploded with the sensation only she could give me.

“Hey.” I pulled her into me, and she laid her cheek against my collarbone and wrapped her arms around my waist then breathed me in.

“Who was on the phone?” Her voice was quiet and sleepy, and it made me smile. She was my peace. Becki’s touch had the power to hush all the unsettled feelings within me. Happened every time. And, now, I had to go back to LA without her.

“It was Bones. Two record labels want to sign us.” There was something that didn’t sit right deep within me, but I couldn’t pinpoint why this news didn’t have me one hundred percent stoked. I had always imagined what it would feel like to have a label we’d actually heard of interested in us. But, there was hesitation in my gut, and it was interfering with me being excited about the news.

“TWO? Calon! Are you kidding? What labels?” Becki’s hands pressed into my chest as she leaned back and searched my face. “And why are you not bouncing around the kitchen? Come on! Two labels?” She smacked my chest and bounced around for me.

“Ugly Stereo and Fire Box.” I winced because I knew she would smack me again because of the history both labels had. It really did warrant some bouncing.

“Calon James!” She smacked me again. Three times.

“Becki! Geez. That one left a mark.” I pointed to the hand-shaped welt on my chest.

“Calon! This is huge. What’s your deal?” She quieted her voice when she sensed my calm vibe wasn’t just part of a rouse to catch her off guard with the news. She put her hands on either side of my face and tipped my face toward hers.

“I don’t know, Becks. I just feel… it’s like I’m…” I sighed. I didn’t even know how to explain the emotion I was dealing with.

“Listen, you’ve got a lot on your plate right now. We’re pregnant with a special needs baby, we’re newly engaged, and you found Kate. Then this news of a possible record deal? It’s a lot to grasp for
me,
and I’m not the rock star. What you’re feeling is completely natural. It’s a lot of emotion. A lot of noise. Don’t try to force the emotions you thought you’d have. Just wade through the ones you’re getting hit with as they come and try to stay above the noise.” She squeezed me tight.

“How do you do that?” I kissed the top of her head.

“Do what?” Her breath on my chest is just one of the many things I would miss tomorrow.

“How do
you
tell
me
what I’m feeling when I can’t even articulate it?”

“I’m pretty intuitive. And, Gracie gave me lots of practice. Sometimes, she can be as thick as a brick about what her emotions are telling her.” She rubbed my back with open hands and nuzzled into my chest then started kissing it. She kissed a small path up to my collarbone and then to my neck. Another thing I would miss tomorrow.

I breathed in a slow, deep breath. “I have to leave tonight.”

She said nothing, just squeezed me as if she was trying to slide me inside her, so I couldn’t go. We stood there and held each other, savoring every scent, memorizing the feeling of each other beneath our fingers. I didn’t want to go, but I couldn’t let the guys down. I struggled with the notion that if I’d been a solo artist, I may let go of everything just so I’d never have to leave Becki again. Then I imagined what these good-byes would feel like once Abigail was born. Tears pricked behind my eyes. I tipped my head back to hold them in.

“At least you’re here for my appointment. You’re still coming to my appointment, right?” She looked up at me, eyes glistening.

“As long as I can get a flight later today.”

“Well, get that flight so we have a whole day together before you have to leave. What do you want to do?” She grabbed two coffee cups from the cabinet and poured me a cup. She poured hot water in hers and dunked her tea bag a few times. Three times, like she always did. I watched her walk over to the fridge and pull out the creamer. She poured a small amount into my cup and stirred, added another splash until it was the exact color I would’ve prepared. She licked the spoon seductively and winked at me.

“As long as I’m with you, I don’t care what we do.” I watched her walk to the windows by the kitchen table and stretch. The early morning sunlight shone through her long sleep shirt and revealed the perfect silhouette of her body, and when she turned to the side, I could see my daughter’s shape as well.

“Well, what do you say we call Samantha and see if she’d like to join us in whatever we decide to do?” Becki smiled, and her eyes flickered with sheer happiness. She was glowing. I couldn’t believe how lucky I was to have such a supportive counterpart. It was no secret how tough my schedule was about to get, and not one time did Becki falter in her support of my dream. She was along for the ride.

“I love that idea. I’ll call the airport about changing my departure day, and you see if you can get a hold of Samantha, then hop in the shower.” I leaned back against the counter, crossed my ankles and started to dial the airport.

“Sounds good. But, Calon?” She walked back over to me.

“Yeah, Becks?” I looked up from my phone.

“Can you make that phone call quick, so you can join me before we run out of hot water?”

“Now, how could I say no to that proposition? I’ll be there in five.” I winked at her, but she wasn’t looking at me.

She waggled her finger that pointed at the crotch of my loose pajama pants. “What’s goin’ on in there?” I looked down.

“Well, Walter heard your invitation. What did you expect? He’s not a very sound sleeper.”

The look on Becki’s face went from sweet to sultry. She pinned me against the counter with her hands on either side of my hips. I uncrossed my ankles and rested my hands on her shoulders. She looked up at me and smiled but with only one corner of her mouth. Becki could be devilishly sexy without even trying.

Her hands moved from the counter to my sides. She brushed them up over my chest and down across my stomach to the waistband of my thin cotton pants.

“Whatcha got in here, rock star?” She hooked one finger around the elastic just below my belly button and pulled it toward her until she could peek down inside. “Ah, goin’ commando, huh? Do you know how hot that is?”

My hands slid from her shoulders and went back to the edge of the counter. I swallowed hard and shook my head, unable to speak at that moment. I curled my fingers around the lip of the cool laminate and moved my feet apart just a little to steady myself.

“Well, it’s really hot. Really, really hot.” She slid her hand inside and wrapped her fingers around me. There was no doubt she could feel my pulse.

“Becks.”

“We need to get rid of these.” She slid her hand around to the side, grabbed the opposite side of my waistband with the other and lowered my pants painfully slow. I didn’t take my eyes off hers. She lowered her body as she pulled my pants to the floor. I stepped out of them, and she tucked them under her knees when she knelt before me. She put her hands on the outside of my thighs, and I could feel her breath on me as she took in the sight of how excited I was to have her there.

“God, Becki.” I tipped my head back and squeezed my eyes. The longing for her to touch me was so intense it was almost painful. I panted as I waited.

When I felt her mouth slide onto me, I sucked in a breath so deep I felt it in my toes. Her hands slid around to my ass, and she took as much of me into her mouth as she could. I could feel the back of her throat press against the tip of my cock. A soft growl left my throat, and I dropped my hands to her head.

She spoiled and teased me for what had to be a good twenty minutes before she took me to a new level of ecstasy. There was this thing she did with her tongue that buckled my knees and stole my breath. I had to put my hands back on the counter, or I was sure she’d take me to my knees.

“Becks, I can’t stand anymore. My legs are shaking.”

She looked up at me from her kneeling position, one hand wrapped around me, and her lips wetted with a mix of the two of us.

“Fuck. That’s hot. I… I need to sit.”

Becki smirked and nodded as I hopped up onto the cold countertop. She stood and moved between my legs. She then started the whole process over again. The gentle flicking of her tongue. Her hands cupping and gently massaging my balls. She held me on the edge for so long I was sure I would lose my mind. Then all of a sudden she stopped, and her touch left me.