Above the Noise (43 page)

“Calon, what is it?” I whispered, not wanting to draw attention to his apparent uneasiness.

“It’s Samantha. I’m missing Kate. My heart hurts and I have that nervous homesick feeling in my stomach. I can’t shake it.” He rubbed his forehead and looked around to make sure no one picked up on his anxiety.

I squeezed his hand and laid my head on his shoulder. Instantly, I was filled with worry that Abigail’s birth would send Calon back to the heartbreak of losing Kate. As a stressed, new mom, I was going to need him to be my rock, and if he was crushed by his memories of Kate, I was going to have to walk myself through being a new mom while I walked him through the grief process. I was fully willing to do whatever I needed to so he could heal the wound I knew had been gaping for most of his life, but I wasn’t sure how well I could do it while learning how to be a new mom.

“Babe, I know you miss Kate—”

“Kate? Whose name is Kate? That’s my middle name!” Samantha was squealing and bouncing around on the vinyl seat cushion. I felt bad for drawing attention to my conversation with Calon, I thought I’d whispered her name.

“Samantha Kate?” Calon’s voice was monotone, like he was far away. “That’s a beautiful name.”

“Yep. Samantha Kate O’Brien. That’s me. I like my name.” She smiled from ear to ear.

Calon pulled his phone from his pocket and put it up to his ear. “Hello? Yeah. Yeah, whatcha need, dude?” He put a finger up toward us as an “excuse me” when he got up from the table and headed out the front door. I watched him walk to the corner and lean against a light pole. Whoever was on the phone was taking up the entire conversation, because Calon’s mouth wasn’t moving.

“Oh, gosh, look at the time. Samantha, I told your mom I’d have you home before six thirty. We need to go.” They stood, and Gracie took the check up to the register.

“Can you tell Calon I said it was nice to meet him? He’s real cute.” Samantha smiled and craned her neck to see him on the corner.

“Why don’t you walk out with me? Gracie will catch up. You can tell him yourself.” She smiled and took my hand.

“My heart beats so fast when he’s so close. Is that because he’s so cute?” She pressed her open hand against her chest and tried to steady her breathing.

“Yeah, he does that to my heart, too.” Calon lifted his head when we stepped out onto the sidewalk. He didn’t say a word to whoever was on the phone but stuffed his phone in his back pocket and his eyes locked on us. The way he was acting made me wonder if he’d just used his phone as a way to escape for a little while. Samantha let go of my hand, ran up to Calon, and grabbed both of his.

“I am so happy to meet you, Calon. I hope we can have pizza again soon.” She stood up on her toes and hugged him tight then took his hands again.

Calon looked down at her hands in his and a big smile spread across his face. Gracie walked up and bumped her hip into mine. We could finish each other’s sentences, and there was no doubt in my mind what she was thinking… we were forming a bond that would be a lifelong friendship with someone who is the older version of the baby I carried. I smiled at Gracie and nodded. But, when I looked back at Calon, his whole demeanor had changed. He seemed pensive. He and Samantha walked over to the bench just passed me and Gracie. They sat down, still holding hands.

I watched him, not knowing whether I should interrupt and quietly suggest he deal with his emotions somewhere other than in Samantha’s presence or just let them have their moment. I was so afraid he was freaking her out.

“Becki? What—”

“I don’t know. Should I make him stop?” I hated to do that, but Samantha may not be comfortable with whatever it was he was doing.

“No, it’s okay. Samantha is a strong girl. She’s been through a lot of emotional stuff. If it gets too intense, she’ll tell him. She has boundaries, and she’ll let him know if he’s making her uncomfortable. This is actually good for her.” Gracie never took her eyes off Calon and Samantha as she spoke.

“Calon, can I tell you a story?” Samantha’s voice was soft, and she squeezed Calon’s hands and rubbed them with her thumbs.

Calon nodded, and, at that moment, I wanted to read his mind. With everything I had, I wanted to take away all his pain. All the loss he had experienced was still so intense in his huge heart.

“Calon, I have something that makes me smile even when I’m really, really sad. You look really sad right now, and I wish you weren’t.” She smiled and waited for a response.

“Thank you, Samantha. I just miss someone very much, and I’ve thought about her a lot today.” He looked up at me and tried to smile, but his lips denied him the happy shape.

“That’s exactly how I feel, too. I get really sad sometimes because…” She took her hands from Calon’s, reached up inside her sweatshirt, and pulled something toward her wrist. From where I stood I couldn’t see what it was, but when Calon’s mouth fell open, I started to piece it all together. “The boy who gave this to me went away, and I never saw him again. He was my brother. He made this bracelet for me before he went away.”

Calon took her wrist in his hand and lifted it so I could see. An old, worn, rainbow-colored friendship bracelet hung around her wrist. It was obvious it had been lengthened over and over again to fit a growing girl.

“Samantha, where did you hear that story?” Calon’s eyes were wide, and I wasn’t sure if he had breathed in the last three minutes.

“I didn’t hear it, silly. I remember him. Now stop interrupting me.” Calon’s faint smile pushed tears out onto his cheeks. “I was trying to ask you if you wanted to wear my bracelet until you feel better. As long as you promise to give it back when you’re done. It’s been on my wrist since I was three.”

That comment sealed the deal, and there was no doubt in my mind that Calon had just been reunited with Kate. Gracie reached over and squeezed my hand, then blinked back tears.

“That’s very nice of you to share your bracelet, Samantha. Why don’t we take Calon and Becki with us to your house? I bet your mom would love to meet them.” Gracie walked up next to Samantha and put her hands on her shoulder. I had shared Calon’s story with Gracie soon after he told me. When she realized what was happening, she was quick on her feet to invite us to meet Kate’s mom.

“You can keep your bracelet on your wrist, Samantha. All of my sadness went away when you shared that story with me. Thank you.” Calon wiped the tears from his face.

“Oh.” Samantha looked around at all of us and shrugged. “That’s sorta weird but whatever.” She stood and walked away with Gracie. I took Calon into my arms and stood on my toes to get as much of him in my hug as I could.

“Becki,” he whispered, “It’s her.” He laughed and sobbed at the same time. It was obvious that it was not our place to decide when was an appropriate time to explain the story to her.

Gracie had pulled Calon aside at the beginning of our walk, and asked Calon if it was okay that she share what had just happened with Samantha’s mom. Of course, he said yes. Gracie was on her phone ahead of all of us as we walked along the tree-lined streets. Samantha took Calon’s hand again and swung it between them as we walked.

Samantha’s house was exactly like the one I pictured Gracie and Jake living in one day. It was a white stucco Cape Cod style house with pale blue shutters and two dormers that jutted out of the roof. Samantha’s mom came to the door with her hand across her mouth and tears in her eyes. She went right to Calon and wrapped her arms around him and whispered into his ear.

“I swear if I’d have known how to, I would have found you. I didn’t get any information about any of her family through the adoption agency. They said, at the time, that it was in her best interest.” She took Calon’s face in her hands, “I wanted to find you all these years, but I didn’t know how. You have to believe me.”

“Mrs. O’Brien, please, don’t apologize. There’s no reason to feel regret. This is a good day. This is a really good day.”

“Well, come on in.” She hustled everyone inside, and Gracie introduced me, which resulted in another huge hug. I looked over at Calon, and we both smiled at Samantha sitting on the couch with her hands folded in her lap.

“Can someone, please, tell me what’s going on?” She tapped her foot like an impatient little kid.

Mrs. O’Brien smiled at Calon and nodded. “I believe you have a story to tell. I trust you to tell her the happiest parts.” Calon didn’t need her to tell him there were parts Samantha didn’t need to know, but I knew he understood her need to say it.

Mrs. O’Brien came over to Gracie and me and scooted in between us with her arms around our waists. We did the same and held each other’s hands behind Mrs. O’Brien’s back. Calon walked over and sat next to Samantha on the couch. He turned to her and took her hands in his once again.

“Samantha, about sixteen years ago I lost the most precious thing in my life. It tore my heart apart. I was six, and there was nothing I could do but trust the adults in my life that it was something that needed to happen.”

“Is that what was making you so sad outside the pizza place?” Samantha looked at him with the face of an angel, and it was evident in her expression that she longed to take away his pain. Little did she know she had already eased the ache.

“Yeah, it is. But, that’s not the end of the story I want to tell you.” Calon looked up at his audience of three and smiled a smile that had a story all its own. The one person that was taken from him that he could actually get back was sitting right before him. Samantha hung on his every word. Her anticipation of what he would say was prominent in the room.

“Samantha, my sister’s name was Kate, Kate Samantha.”

Samantha gasped.

“The day we were separated I gave her something, so she’d never forget me or forget how much I loved her.” A single tear ran down each of Calon’s cheeks.

“What did you give her?”

“I gave her a rainbow-colored, braided friendship bracelet.”

Samantha’s hand left Calon’s and her fingers nervously twisted the bracelet on her arm, but her eyes never left his. I watched what Calon had just said sink in, and I watched all the breath leave her body. Her cheeks got pink, and her eyes filled with tears.

“Calon. What are you telling me? I know what I want it to be, but I’m afraid to get my hopes up. I really need you to say it. Please, say it.” Both her hands were back in his, and he squeezed them before he spoke. He wiped the tears that dripped from his chin with his forearm.

I watched the man I loved with all my heart prepare to tell his baby sister that her brother was back in her life. Tears streamed down my face. I looked over at Gracie who had her hand over her mouth and tried desperately to hold in the sob that loomed in her throat.

“Samantha, I gave you this bracelet. I gave you this sixteen years ago as a way for you to remember me. I’m your brother, and my heart is so full right now because you found me. To see that your heart is still as big as it was then makes me the proudest brother on the planet.” Calon pulled her in for a hug. She cried on his shoulder.

“Brother. I called you, ‘Brother’. I didn’t know. You’re my brother. I love my brother.”

“I love my sister.” Calon’s eyes flashed up to mine, and there was a sparkle in them that I’d never seen. As beautiful as those eyes were something had been missing the whole time I knew him, but it was back.

“Calon?” Samantha pressed her body back, so she could see Calon’s face. “How did you know I had a big heart when I was so little?”

Calon smiled. “The day I made you this bracelet…” He twirled her bracelet between his fingers. “I put it on you, and you smiled. You waddled over to the table where all our string was and picked up a handful of loose rainbow-colored strands. You held that string in your hands until the grown-ups told us it was time to say good-bye.” Calon took a deep breath. “You were crying because you didn’t want to go. Just before you left, you handed me the wad of colorful, sweaty string and smiled as best you could through your tears. You needed so badly to make sure you had something to give me, too. You understood, and because of that we would stay connected, literally by strands of string, all these years.”

Calon reached for his wallet. He opened it and pulled out a tangle of colored string. “I’ve been carrying this string in my wallet ever since that day. Today, I got all of you back. I no longer need the string in my pocket to feel close to you. You’re right here.
We
are right here, together. I’ll never leave you again, Kate. Never.”

I don’t think either of them caught the fact that he’d just called her Kate instead of Samantha. It was just natural for him to call her that.

There were a lot of questions that I’m sure Mrs. O’Brien would need to prepare for, but what Calon was able to do for Samantha’s heart would far outweigh any painful memories she may uncover.

We spent the next couple hours around the O’Brien’s kitchen island eating our weight in cookies and listening to Samantha and Calon try to outdo each other with silly stories of their misbehavior growing up. My sides ached from laughing so hard.

Gracie and Calon walked to get Jake’s car at the school. I didn’t have the energy to walk, and Calon didn’t want Gracie walking alone. I was perfectly happy on the couch talking while I waited for them to come back for me. Samantha tried to talk me into working at her school while I waited for them to return for me. And, if I wasn’t exhausted before our pizza dinner, I sure was exhausted by the time we said our good-byes.