Aaron (36 page)
Authors: J.P. Barnaby
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“Aaron, they can’t have you committed unless you are an immediate danger to yourself or to others. Nothing you have told me in the last several months leads me to believe you’re either,” his father told Aaron, apparently to keep him calm, but Spencer could feel, just by the lack of tension in his hand, that Aaron wasn’t stressed. It felt more like he was resigned. Spencer had enough tension for both of them. In his heart, he knew the confrontation wasn’t over, but he had no idea where things would go next.
“I. Know. They. Want. You. To. Stop. Seeing. My. Dad., But. They… Do. They. Like. Me.? Would. They. Make. You. Stop. Seeing. Me.?” He hated the vulnerability in his voice, but Aaron was the best thing that had happened to him in a very long time. His chest ached with the thought that Aaron’s parents might talk him out of being with him. More and more each day, especially during moments like this, sitting on the couch just holding hands, he was growing to love Aaron. He’d fight for that, against his father or Aaron’s parents, or anyone else that tried to separate them. They’d gone through too fucking much.
“No, I don’t think so. Even if they did, I wouldn’t care,” Aaron said, and the corners of his mouth turned up into a soft, secretive smile. With a quick glance at Spencer’s father, Aaron mouthed soundlessly
I’d miss you. You make me feel special. Besides, you’re a great kisser.
Spencer had never seen Aaron be so frivolous and flirtatious before. It lightened his heart, and he leaned over very slowly and kissed Aaron on the cheek.
His pocket buzzed, just as his father looked up toward the hallway.
Doorbell
“I’ll get it,” his father said and pushed up out of the recliner. Aaron rested his temple against Spencer’s cheek. Spencer turned his head slightly and kissed Aaron’s forehead. They sat like that for a minute, which turned to two, and then five before Spencer’s father returned to the room carrying a manila envelope and some official-looking papers. He looked sad, almost resigned, when he sat back down in the chair.
“Dad., Is. Everything. Okay.?” Spencer asked and brought his head up from where it had been resting on the top of Aaron’s. His father flipped through the paperwork, and Spencer saw that the front page looked like some kind of court document. It had the boxes in the top left and some kind of seal or stamp on it.
“Aaron, your parents have filed an injunction to prevent me from treating you. I’m sorry.” He handed Aaron the bundle of papers, held together precariously by their fold, and walked back out to the hallway. Spencer had a feeling he would find his father in the kitchen, sitting at the breakfast bar with a drink.
“Aaron.. We. Should. Talk. About. This. With. Dad.,” Spencer told him, and it felt like every word needed to be forced from his lungs, because he didn’t want to talk things over with his dad. He wanted to do exactly what Aaron was doing—calling Mrs. Downing to yell and scream and rage about the way they had treated his father. Guilt roiled in his stomach like acid. He had brought Aaron and his father together. It was his idea to put Aaron in his father’s path, so he’d try to help—and look what happened. He’d gotten his father into legal trouble.
at Spencer’s tonight. Do I think it’s a good idea? I think it’s a better idea than serving his father with court papers and taking away the only thing in two years that’s helped me feel like a real fucking person instead of a walking corpse. You didn’t listen to me at all that night we talked about Dr. Thomas, did you? No, I don’t want to talk about it anymore. I’ll be home tomorrow. Yes. Bye, Mom.” Aaron threw the phone onto the coffee table and put his head in his hands. Spencer looked up to see his father standing in the doorway. He must have heard Aaron’s fight with his mother.
“Aaron, none of this is your fault. I offered to treat you and you accepted. Everything else is pretty much my own fault,” he said and shrugged away from the doorframe.
“I should have told them,” Aaron said. His body felt so tense, like a wild animal ready to spring. The remorse on his face and the sadness in his eyes broke Spencer’s heart.
“If you had, they would have reacted the same way, and you wouldn’t have made the progress you did. I will speak to my attorney and see what we can do to fight the injunction. Tomorrow, I’ll speak with your parents and see if we can’t work this out. Try not to worry,” Dr. Thomas told him with a weary smile and went back to the kitchen.
“I guess I should have asked before I blew up at my mom, but would you mind if I stayed over? I can sleep down here in the rec room on the couch,” Aaron asked, looking rather abashed as he caught Spencer’s eye.
Spencer’s imagination moved far past that, and had jumped to watching them making out in his bed. He shook it off immediately, because Aaron just couldn’t deal with that yet. God, he’d spent more time whacking off in the shower since Aaron kissed him than he had his entire junior year of high school.
“Of. Course. You. Can. Stay., And. You. Do. Not. Have. To. Sleep. Down. Here.. I… I., uhm… Have. A. Queen.. It. Is. Big. Enough. For. Both. Of. Us.,” Spencer told him, the naked, raw hope plain in his voice. His heart ached when Aaron closed his eyes.
Aaron didn’t shake his head, but his entire body stiffened. “I don’t know if I can do that. I have really bad nightmares sometimes, and if I wake up in bed with someone—”
“Then. We. Will. Deal. With. It.. I. Have. Seen. Your. Panic. Attacks.. But. If. You. Do. Not. Want. To., I. Will. Understand.,” Spencer murmured like it was the last thing on earth he wanted to say. Aaron’s body didn’t relax as Spencer expected it to. “What. Is. It.?”
“It shouldn’t have to be this hard.” Aaron looked away, and it took everything Spencer had not to pull Aaron back against his chest. “I’m eighteen years old. I should be able to sleep in my boyfriend’s arms without freaking out.”
“What?” Aaron asked.
“I. Liked. That. You. Called. Me. Your. Boyfriend..”
“Come. And. Lay. Down. With. Me.. If. You. Want. To. Come. Down. Stairs., I. Will. Set. Up. The. Couch. For. You.,” Spencer said into Aaron’s hair. Aaron stayed quiet for several minutes, and Spencer was afraid he might have missed the answer when, finally, Aaron nodded. Spencer held Aaron for a long time, letting him get used to being held, before he took Aaron’s hand and led him to the stairs.
and ready for bed. He’d already brushed his teeth and then got out of the way to let Aaron into the en suite bathroom. He could almost see Aaron as he stood on the other side of the door to the bathroom and changed into a pair of Spencer’s huge, baggy sweats and a long-sleeved thermal from his father.
“There. Is. An. Extra. Toothbrush. In. The. Cabinet. Above. The. Sink.,” Spencer called through the bit of wood that separated them. Spencer climbed into the bed and slid back to the far side, next to the wall. He usually slept on the other side, but he didn’t want Aaron to feel trapped in any way.
He turned on his side and faced away from the wall while he waited for Aaron to come out. It took far longer than he expected, and he wondered if maybe his friend was afraid, or if he was having a panic attack. Spencer slid over and had thrown his legs over the side of the bed when the bathroom door opened. Scrambling back to the far side of the bed, he threw the blankets over his legs as Aaron emerged. The sweats hung down at the ankles, and he had to roll up the sleeves on the shirt. He looked like a little kid in grown-up clothes, lost and alone. The frightened look on his face killed Spencer, and he nearly asked if Aaron wanted to sleep downstairs.
“If. You. Want. To. Sleep. Down. Stairs., You. Can.. It. Will. Not. Hurt. My. Feelings.,” Spencer told him, trying to make his voice as gentle as possible. It felt like his voice came out kind of soft, but of course, he couldn’t tell. Aaron turned his head so Spencer could see his face.