A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius (13 page)

BOOK: A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius
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When we got home yesterday, Dad told me that he thought I was responsible enough to stay at home alone on the days when Nicole is at work. I thought it would be cool, but it's really not. Daytime TV sucks, and Pickles wasn't used to having someone around, so she just kept clawing my hand every time I tried to get the remote from under her. I got so bored that I did all my homework, and I even tried writing my short story for Ms. Whitehead's class. I didn't get very far. I thought maybe working on Robbie's story would get my brain going again, but I'm still sitting here with the computer on, staring at a blank screen. I wish there was something, ANYTHING to do. I'm desperate, RJ. I'm debating buying a bus ticket and going to see Luke. I won't, because I don't want my dad to think I ran away, but still. It's SO BORING!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 13, 11:04

hey artie

i heard u r in town for the break. no 1 else is. anyway i won these tickets to a play and none of my real frends wood want 2 come with me. i bearly want to go but i figur its good 2 see other plays now that im staring in 1. anyway, did u want 2 come 2 a play with my brother and me. my dad was gonna come but he cant and now we have a spare ticket and i bet u like plays and stuf. the play is on tomorro nite so let me kno. And can ur dad drive us?

Robbie

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

Sent: April 13, 12:29

Are you serious?

From: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 13, 12:36

No nerd i am writing u for fun. OF COURSE im serious. do u want to come or not. i don't care either way.

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Robbie Zack ([email protected])

Sent: April 13, 14:15

Dear Robbie,

I can go to the play I guess. I asked my dad and he can drive us. We can pick you guys up at 7:00. See you then.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

April 14th

Dear RJ,

Weirdest night ever! I went to a play with Robbie and his brother. I know what you're thinking—and, I know, it WAS weird. Robbie's brother is a total jerk. Robbie actually even apologized to me because his brother was so strange. I thought Robbie was bad and annoying sometimes, but his brother was yelling at people in the lobby and laughing, and he kept trying to get people to spill their drinks by bumping into them in the lobby. It was super embarrassing. I was glad to get into the play.

It was pretty good. I thought it was going to be a little kids' play when he told me we were going to see
Peter Pan
, but it was actually pretty cool and professional. The actors were awesome, but I think I would have been better as Peter Pan. I liked the way the actors flew on harnesses, and I thought Tinkerbell was pretty hot. And Robbie totally loved the play. I think he even cried at the end. But I'm sure he was wiping his eyes when Wendy and the boys came home. His brother saw him crying too, and made fun of him the whole way home.

Anyway, when they got out Robbie asked me if I wanted to come over and play video games this weekend. I kind of hate video games, especially if you have to shoot things. I think they are super boring. But I said yes anyway. I don't know why he asked me. I kind of had to say yes. I mean, would he beat me up if I said no?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

April 17th

Dear RJ,

Happy Easter! The week is almost over! Finally! And my dad is cooking a ham tonight with scalloped potatoes. I didn't even know he knew how to do that. I don't know what came over him. He even put out chocolate eggs for an Easter egg hunt for me this morning. I was so surprised, especially since I haven't done an Easter egg hunt for, like, five years or something. I didn't say that though. He said that he always hid the eggs, and this year he made it really hard. It's funny. I guess I always thought my mom did that kind of stuff. I guess it makes sense why she was always so surprised to see where the eggs were. I just thought she was a good actress.

So I did the Easter egg hunt, and then we went for a walk to the farmers' market to get stuff for supper. It was pretty quiet while we walked, but it was quiet in a good way this time. He even asked if I wanted to invite my “new friend Robbie” for supper. I told him that Robbie was definitely not my friend, he was just bored over spring break and needed another person to compete against in his video game (which I hated, by the way. I suck a lot at video games, RJ. Robbie made sure to tell me that a lot).

Anyway, it's been a pretty good day, RJ. I don't know why, but I even sort of felt for a minute that Mom was just away somewhere, like she was visiting her sister or something.

I almost feel bad for feeling good about Easter. That's weird, isn't it?

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 19, 15:50

Hi, Arthur!

Sorry I didn't respond about spring break! I went to visit my grandma and she has NO INTERNET! It was TORTURE LOL!! Well, it was OK but kind of boring! My little sister was SUPER annoying too and wanted me to HANG OUT with her! So frustrating! It's way better when there's something to keep her busy like the computer LOL! At least I had lots of time to learn all my lines for the play!

Speaking of the play, I can't believe you aren't in it anymore! I went to rehearsal today and you weren't there and it wasn't as fun! You always make me laugh when I see you! I mean Robbie tries really hard and he's super sweet, but it's just different, you know? Anyway, I guess you're really busy writing and stuff!

Kennedy :)

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: April 19, 18:22

Dear Kennedy,

I had a nice break. I had some time to work on my writing. I also saw a good play with Robbie and his brother and went to a bunch of really cool parties. It's too bad you weren't here to come to the parties. They were really fun. It's too bad that I am no longer in the play, but I told Mr. Tan that I will learn all the lines just in case Robbie gets sick or too scared to go onstage. One of the reasons I stepped aside for the play was to give Robbie a chance to play Romeo. I know his mom left and I thought it would be good for him to have something good.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 19, 19:23

Arthur, that is so sweet! I knew there was something behind your motives to leave the play! I had no idea that you and Robbie were so close! That is just the nicest thing I've ever heard! We're both so lucky to have you as a friend, Arthur!

Kennedy :)

• • •

Spring Has Sprung, Fling Is Fun

By Arthur Bean

Terry Fox Jr. High hosted its fourth dance of the year and finally got it right. The Spring Fling Dance held last Friday was a Sadie Hawkins Dance. Sadie Hawkins was originally a character in a comic strip from the 1930s. She was the ugliest girl in the town, and then her dad had a race in her name. If Sadie Hawkins caught a man and dragged him across the finish line, he had to marry her. The comic strip was pretty popular, and soon Sadie Hawkins races and dances were celebrated in Canada and the United States.

The highlight for most was definitely the opportunity to dance with some of the prettiest and most popular girls in school. For example, Kennedy Laurel's invitation to dance was met with enthusiastic yeses. Those of us lucky enough to be asked by such a graceful and energetic dancer as Kennedy were clearly watched with envy by the less fortunate of our gender.

There is one more dance this year for the entire school (not including the graduation class party held only for ninth graders and their dates), and this reporter suggests that it also be a Sadie Hawkins Dance.

Hey, Arthur,

Nice work on covering the dance. I'm glad that you had fun at the same time!

I'm going to make a few changes to your work to be less specific about who danced with whom. I'm glad to see that you researched Sadie Hawkins too! Researching your subject is the key to great journalism, so well done!

Next up for you is a preview piece on the Spring Art Show. Most of the work will be up in the art room in a couple of weeks.

Would you be able to do an article talking about the background of a few artists and their works? Remember though, just because a picture might be worth a thousand words doesn't mean your article needs to be too long!

Cheers,

Mr. E.

• • •

JUNIOR AUTHORS CONTEST WINNERS!

We wish to thank all of you for your creativity, your ideas and your fantastic writing. You made our jobs very difficult to choose finalists for publication in the spring edition of the
Marathon
newspaper!

Without further ado, the finalists are:

Arthur Bean

Asira Jaffer

Kennedy Laurel

Watch for a special Junior Authors edition of the
Marathon
next week, and don't forget to VOTE for your favorite story!

• • •

From: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

To: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

Sent: April 22, 16:39

Arthur! WE WON!!! I can't believe we're both FINALISTS! This is AWESOME!! I'm so happy to have gotten this far! And now I will win and get published, and then I will take over the world LOL!!! Just kidding! I'm so excited to be published in the newspaper! I mean, it's different than being published for writing just a boring old ARTICLE LOL!

And CONGRATULATIONS to you! I never read this masterful piece while you were writing it, and now I will get to when it's published LOL! It's so exciting! What is your story about?

Doesn't it suck to be Ms. Whitehead, stuck in bed with a broken hip?! Are you going to send her a card to thank her for choosing you? I think I will send one to Mrs. Ireland!

Sandy is taking me out to a movie tonight to celebrate! What are YOU doing to celebrate? Something with your dad maybe? If you want to come with Sandy and I, you can totally tag along! I'm sure he won't mind!

Kennedy :)

• • •

April 22nd

Dear RJ,

I made it! I was chosen as a finalist! AND, in even better news, Kennedy invited me to a movie tonight! She said that Sandy is going, but that's okay. Maybe she really just wants to go with me HA-HA-HA.

It's a joke now, RJ, but maybe a little bit serious? After all, we are both authors, and we can talk about writing and
Romeo and Juliet
and stuff. It could be that this is her subtle way to ask me on a date. It's so devious—right under her boyfriend's nose like that. But that's okay. I can hide stuff too.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

From: Arthur Bean ([email protected])

To: Kennedy Laurel ([email protected])

Sent: April 22, 17:50

Dear Kennedy,

Thanks and congratulations to you also! I am not celebrating with my dad tonight, so I'd love to join you at the movies. Call me and let me know what movie you're going to, and I'll meet you there!

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

April 22nd

Dear RJ,

Well that wasn't a date AT ALL. I went to the stupid movie with Kennedy and Sandy, and they barely talked to me. They shared a pop and a popcorn and giggled together all through the previews (the best part of going to the movies!). Then they whispered really loudly in the movie, and twice I had to ask them to be quiet because it was really distracting. Sandy made some stupid remark about me being annoying to go to the movies with. Overall, it was terrible. I'm never going out with them AGAIN.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

April 25th

Dear Ms. Whitehead,

I hope your hip is healing and you're able to move around now. When are you coming back to school? We really miss having you teach the class. I, for one, like that you are more open to a creative mind such as my own. Mrs. Carrell and I have creative differences on how English class can be interpreted, and it's getting kind of difficult to work with her. This whole last week we've been doing worksheets and reading comprehension pop quizzes. I liked that you never gave us pop quizzes. I told Mrs. Carrell that we didn't have to do those with you, and she made a comment about your teaching style being “clearly different and maybe a little too modern.” You should make a complaint about her criticism of you. You weren't even there to defend yourself. I tried to defend you, Ms. Whitehead, and I got sent out to the hall again. Anyway, I hope you come back soon.

Yours truly,

Arthur Bean

• • •

Assignment: Novel Response

Many works of fiction are based on the works of others. Writers will respond to another work by writing a prequel or sequel to it, or focusing on another character. For this assignment, choose a novel written by your favorite author and write a short response to it. Your response can be anything you wish: a diary entry from a secondary character, a scene starring the main character before the book starts, an epilogue about what happens afterward, etc. You will be graded on your grammar, insight, and direct connection to the original novel. Ensure to clearly indicate in your title what novel you are referencing and who wrote the original piece.

Due: April 28

There will be no extensions given on this assignment.

• • •

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