A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) (55 page)

“
Aria sweetheart I gotta go, ok?” I look up at him he looks so contrite and concerned.

“You look very handsome” I smile at him.

“Look I gotta get going I love you, I will see you tonight six thirty don’t be late!” he kisses me sweetly goodbye.

“Have a good day at school dear” I touch his tie that he had to tie for himself because
I fucked Tristan. now I see why they say cheaters never prosper, I cheated and I am missing out on the little thing that mean a lot in my relationship.

He kisses my temple
I stand up and throw my arms around him, hugging him hard and kiss his neck.

“Ian I
love you” we look at one another and he smiles at me and touches my lips and then he leaves.

I h
ave a feeling of uncertainty and deep seeded desire, am I sexually frustrated? Am I mad at myself? Is it premenstrual? No I already had my period for this month, is it the wedding? Then I sit and look at myself in the three way mirror, I am alone, no one is around and I admit it to myself that I miss Tristan Bach, I miss him sexing me out of my mind! I miss his intoxicating smell! I miss his arms around me, but as it has always been I just miss the fuck out him! I sit at my desk and let it all out, I cry and weep as I watch myself in the mirror wither and crumble yet again because of one Tristan Bach, look at what I did to myself after being Tristan free for two years, I am right back where I started, I have to get over him all over again.

My heart tells me
I just want him all over me, it’s sad but that is my deep dark secret, I am marrying one man and secretly lusting after another.

The truth of the matter is
everyone knows, my girlfriends all know what I did and I have to say they see how it happened, even Ian knows, and he put it past us, so we are getting married because he doesn’t mind that I fucked around on him. Is that big of him? Or is it foolish of him? Or am I over thinking all of this? Come on Macy, you had a great morning with your fiancé don’t let this whole tie incident be more than it is.

I whip
my tears and head to the shower maybe it is just sexual frustration. Maybe Erika should had gotten me the vibrator as she had suggested? The depressing part is Ian still doesn’t get me all wet for him. I wonder if he notices. I shower and I dress in black slacks, my white oxford shirt my Chanel Mary-Jane’s and hang my black sweater over my shoulders.

Chapter 31

Who Can I Turn To

Driving myself to work
for me is therapy it gives me a few moments of self-gratification, I turn up the tunes as they lighten my less than cherry disposition, I begin to feel venerated that I live in this great city surrounded by all my friends and family, some too close for comfort and some not worth mentioning.

I have a wonderf
ul job that I love and I thank God for all of it as I count my many many blessings. I make it to the valet at The Ritz, I greet Lawrence with a warm smile and a hefty gratuity as I have been lacking in my token gestures of appreciation these days. His returning smile validates that he is pleased with my gratuitous display of appreciation for all that he does for me in seeing to my transportation needs, and I hope it squares us as well in lieu of my absence of perquisite which is a direct result no doubt due to my drought in common sense these days. I make it to the store just as Oliver is carrying us in coffee.

“L
ooks like I made it here just in time” he sees the pale look on my face and my attire, I am covered from head to toe not my usual Business as Usual persona

“Oh you are a li
fesaver” I take the coffee from him as he opens the door we sit in the lounge area of our store and relax, its Monday we hardly get business this early so it’s a good time to sit and catch up with my dear friend and confidant.

“So Aria did you have a good weekend?”  I sense the innuendo in hi
s voice, and I know he  has been waiting patiently to finally have the much long overdue talk with me that has been pending all week. I sip my coffee and it is delicious, it is a meal in a cup filling, satisfying and warms me from within. I hold onto it for dear life as I now have to face Oliver Barry, although he is not as intrusive or upsetting as Erika can be. He has been known to be quite pushy and unpleasantly blunt at times but even when he is being brutal he is always indiscreet. I love him because as you all know I have a slew of watchful eyes, and protective arms, that covet over me, I don’t fight it anymore, I just accept it and deal as best I can.

“Yes I did how about you Oliver
dear?” I am trying to keep it simple but he is anything but simple.

“My weekend was good
, relaxing, who did you spend
this
weekend with?” oh he is trying to be funny, the clever little boy wonder that he is. I take a drink of my delicious coffee as I answer him sternly.

“Um my fiancé of course and the
girls had a tea for me yesterday at the Ritz.” There that sounds about right.

“
So everything is ok?” I look at him and I can’t lie to Oliver, it is a waste of his times his intelligence as well as my sanity as he sees right through me.

“I’m marryi
ng Ian on Saturday as scheduled” I give him Ian’s words exactly, I figure if I keep saying them they will kick in and I will start believing them myself.

“It sounds like a merger instead of a marriage”
ouch that hurt way to go Oliver pitching the disdain laced with a pinch of condescension for added flair.

“
Business as Usual” I give him my sarcastic best as I sip my hazelnut coffee with a double shot of espresso.

“Cut the crap
Aria what happened?”

“
Well Oliver after the fashion show I went home to tell Ian and he said he already knew!”

“He already knew you were having an affair with your ex?”
hold it one second what did he just say with suck mocking undertones?

“Wait a minute how did you know I was having an affair with my ex?”
I sip my coffee and narrow my eyes at him as I throw the ball back in his court.

“Aria, Aria, Aria, do you want me to
spell it out for you?”

“Yes I think I am going to need
verbal confirmation on my behavior.”

“Well for starte
rs, you were M.I.A. all last weekend, your fiancé was out of town, Monday you were simply glowing when you came to work, Tuesday you were three hours late for work, and Thursday when the Adonis came to see you I can see why you have been having illicit sex with said ex! I rest my case” he sips his coffee as the steam curls up and around his darling face. I look at him and can’t help but smile, yeah that about sums it up.

“Am I that obvious”
I’m a bit of a forgone conclusion and I hate it, but I am not good at hiding anything except my feelings for Tristan, and even that didn’t last very long.

“Well I knew something was going on
, I just didn’t put the whole picture together until he walked in wearing a tux, I knew you were in way over your head” oh he knows me oh so well.

“Oliver the worst part is Ian hired a private investigator to follow me and that is how he found out
! He says he forgives me for m
y
wedding affai
r
and I should forgive him for the private detective and his words were
‘we are getting married Saturday as scheduled’”

“Whoa let me get this straight, you had an affair for days with your ex and he forgives you because he hired a private i
nvestigator to follow you?”

“Yes that’s about it.”

“So where does this leave you Aria?”

“
Sexually frustrated and I’m at the corner of hell and misery? He nearly chokes on his coffee.

“Really the sex was that great?”
just the thought of Tristan sexing me is arousing.

“Yes
beyond my comprehension at first, then earth shaking, and now mind altering, but mostly illicit!” I drink my coffee hoping and praying it was vodka now.

“So Ian knows this?”
he is shocked and amazed that this is coming from the little catholic school girl’s mouth, but I have to say that he has brought up a point that is very intriguing.

“No not really, I have decided not to deal with the sex issue and just get married as scheduled.” I sip my coffee and when the words come out
of my mouth I know not what I say because it’s not how I feel.

“
Aria what do you really want to do? This is me! Tell me!” he is comforting with his words and his body language always shows me that he is concerned for me. I must be honest with him I mean
who can I turn to
…

“
Oliver, what can I do? I have promised myself to Ian?” As I show him my finger to remind him that I am wearing his ring.

“Aria your first love returns for you and you rebuke him because he didn’t show up first?”

“Who’s side are you on anyway?” Jeez I guess this was a question that needed to be asked but HEY!

“Yours
, my dear” he cups my chin. I give him my smile that is etched with worry and gloom.

“So here I am”
I have made my decision and I need them on my side to convince me that this is going to work.

“
My dear sweet girl I believe that a relationship should fit like that wedding dress you made, if it doesn’t it’s a disaster.”

“
Oliver you’re tearing me apart at the seams”

“
Touché”

“
Aria you baffle me. Mending clothing and hemming hearts?”

“
Oliver, dear, dear, Oliver” 

I hug him
as I look at my dress in the corner, the dress is the only perfect fit I got going for me.

“Oliver
are you ok here if I get out of here early and go take care of something?”

“
Sure go see your fiancé” he knows me, I have to right the wrong I did with Ian. I smile at him and we finish our coffee.

“Y
ou know me all too well Oliver” we go over what needs to be done today I get the ties made, he finishes the suits that need to be shipped, and I pack everything up, we are busy today with work, not with customers and I am grateful for the distraction, it keeps me from my wayward thoughts that have been getting me into trouble for the past week.

While working on a tie for a client for his daughter’s wedding inspiration
hits me on how I can reconnect with Ian and make up for being a ninny to him this morning, he expects me in bed waiting for him at six thirty this evening well I have a better idea.

Ian loves surprises
, not the balloons in your face with tons of people around but little things that mean so much to him, maybe it’s because his parents who were always too busy for him lavished him with the best of everything except their time. To this day things or objects don’t mean anything to Ian as much as me giving him my time, as a matter a fact if you ask him what to send him he always tells me
send me your best wishes
, he would be someplace working in a far off city, in a quant remote town or village and he would always send me a purse, buy me a bracelet or pick me up a bottle of perfume and every time I wanted to return the gesture his words were always
just send me your best wishes.

Chapter 32

TEACH ME TONIGHT

Inspiration hit
me, I have always wanted to sit in on one of Ian’s lectures but never had the opportunity to do it, so now I am making the time to do it, I love him and I want to sit there and be amazed by my man in his own element.

I pull up his schedule
on my android phone and I see his last class is European history starting in the main lecture hall, at five o’clock pm I can just make it with the traffic if I hurry. I freshen up my makeup and hair brush my teeth and I am so excited about what is about to happen.

I want to go to his class
, slip into the backdrop among the sea of his students and let him find me in the audience. I am so excited about my little venture I wonder how long it will take Ian to find me? Ian has always said he knows whenever I am around, he is programed to find me, oh my dear sweet fiancé, he is going to be so happy that I made this grand gesture because I am giving him something more precious than anything in the world. I will be giving him my time and my attention which I guess all men need these days as we are all over extended, over exerted, and over taken by events that we don’t see the forest for the trees.