A Wedding Affair (The Wedding Affair) (68 page)

“Cable right” I laugh as I put my hands over my face.

“I listen to classical music and watch naughty TV what do you expect?”

“I expect you and I
are going to have a very happy life together”

“Yeah you me and my safe word is Tequila” he laughs at my comment and we are wasted

“Don’t they say tequila makes her clothes come off?” I laugh, this Ian is fun and sexy, I like sexy Ian, my charming anecdote that I have needed all week. He is fun and entertaining and full of surprises as this evening is just a preview of things to come and that reminds me

“I beli
eve the saying is, one tequila, two tequila, three tequila floor!” we both laugh as he holds me tight. I reach for his face and hold it in my his hands as he reaches behind me for something

“I love you Ian” he hands me a shot glasses and he fills them we clink our glasses together and look at one another.

“You’re the love of my life Aria” I kiss him and we do our shot. Ok I’m beyond drunk.

“Are you hungry?” he says it such a seriously concentrating way.

“Yes I am starved” Ian grabs the mini burgers off the table and we sit on the floor, me on his lap and eat. They are so good, he makes them with bloody Mary mix, need I say more.

“Ian did you have a good night tonight at your bachelor party?”

“I had a wonderful time once my fiancé came home” I feed him his delectable creation as I sit on his lap, we pass the tequila back and forth and we got smashed.

We
finish our burgers, it’s midnight, way past Ian’s bedtime.

“Come Aria bed” Ian
stands me up and I am wobbly.

“Don’t fall sweetie” he stands and puts the dishes in the sink

“Hey where do you think you are going?” he is laughing as I am being serious.

“Come
here sweetheart, you miss me already?

“Ian I want you to do that all over again”

“Which part” I stand hold out my hands to steady myself as if I am on a surf board, but I’m standing on the floor of my kitchen.

“
All of it, minus the cards” he laughs as he reaches for me so I don’t fall down, he pulls me into his arms we are both naked, and drunk, stumbling and inebriated, I can barely see straight and I still want more.

“Aria I love you when you are like this”

“
I love you when you—r like this” he kisses me and pulls me to him close skin against skin. Our warm bodies are aching for one another.

“So you like it rough?”

“I like it when you fuck me Ian”

“I love it when you are wet for me
”

“Ian I want you to do that to me again”
he laughs as I am slurring my speech, kisses me and we stumble.

“
Ok but upstairs in bed not in the kit-chen”

“I don’t know if we can do the stairs”

“Do you want to take the elevator?”

We both start laughing
so hard and I got a feeling I’m not good at standing anymore as I stumble and he pulls me into his arms.

“Do I have to carry you
, up all the way, up the stairs to our bedroom?” ok he is drunk and running his words together.

“Ian I will take the stairs just watch” I walk past him as I hold onto the walls searching for handles
that are not there
.

Ian is laughing as he watches me falter and I almost fall but he is right next to me as he catches me in his arms and he walks me up the stairs, there are like
a hundred steps, hundreds of these steps, I’m gonna get these cut down first thing tomorrow, no one needs this many steps in a house what was I crazy putting in all these steps!

We walk down this long, I mean this
is a long hallway that is carpeted, but yet again no handles on the walls, it is longer then I remember and we make it to our bedroom door and I knock and we both listen with our ears to the door as we look at one another and start laughing again.

“I think it’s safe Ian lets go in” he opens the double doors as we stumble back
, he hits his head with the door.

“Are you ok
honey?”

“Aria tomorrow I am taking off these doors!”

“Yes good idea and I’m taking down some of those stairs, there are way too many of them, who needs that many stairs in a house?”

“Ok Aria tomorrow I will cut them down for you”

“Thank you Ian”

We both walk
into our bedroom, naked, drunk, stumbling over one another as we hold onto one another, we almost fall but we have each other ,we make it to my side of the bed and he holds me.

“Ian we made it” I start cheering, he purse’s his lips to kiss me and I fall back
wards onto the bed, “Where did you go?” Ian looks down.

“Oh there you are”

I am reaching for him as he grabs my legs and swings them on the bed and I am all over the place moving around.

“Ian come
here I want you again”

“You want me again?”

“Yes again and again and again…” Ian shifts me over as he comes and lies next to me as I am mumbling to him as I am sprawled out on the bed.

“Tristan make me come”

“Aria WHAT DID YOU SAY?” I fall dead to the world as I pass out naked next to Ian.

Chapter 36

I Believe in you and me

June 28, 2012

I awake alone I look at the c
lock and it's after seven am I have a head ache, I need coffee and I need to pee. I grab my robe from the chair and knock on the bathroom door no answer I use the bathroom and wash my face as I wonder where is Ian and I hope he is ok he never drinks like this and on a school night jeez what were we thinking.
I go downstairs and Ian is in the kitchen, the cards are all picked up our clothes are all piled neatly on a chair and the kitchen is cleared of dishes and of course the tequila is put away.
“Hey there good morning Ian”
I walk over to him as he stands by the sink looking out the window over the backyard
I put my arms around him his back to my front
He walks out of my embrace
“I'M LATE I GOTTA GO” he is irritated and he is cold and distant
“Ian are you ok?”
“I gotta get going I'll see you later”
“Ian what's wrong! Please tell me?”
He looks at me and he has tears in his eyes, a feeling of worry overcomes me to where I start to shake
“Ian please you are scaring me what is going on?” 
Again he says nothing and he looks at me, and in one swift move he grabs his briefcase and walks out.
What the fuck!
I chase after him
“Ian for goodness sake please tell me what’s wrong?”
He doesn't acknowledge my existence and he gets in his car and takes off.
Oh my gawd what the fuck just happened here?
A chill runs through me as I sense something is terribly horrible wrong I call Ian and he doesn't answer his cell.
I have to find out what's going on I mean last night we had the best time ever. And now he is giving me the cold-shoulder .

-------<>-------

It’s Thursday
and I am going to do my confession before my wedding, if I am still getting married, three phone calls to Ian and no answer this is just not right.

A word about confession
it is something I feel strongly about and I don’t want to start our marriage with my infidelities, my somber mood, or my wayward thoughts.

I get
dressed for work at nine and then I head down to St. Pats Church to rectify what I have done and what I have failed to do.

I take a seat in
the pew with the stain glass window of Mary Magdalene, on bended knee; it has been our family pew for years, yeah go figure. I sit and pray that I can make a proper confession; an honest and forth right confession and make a mends to my life. I am joined by an elderly lady in a scarf who is a few rows ahead of me in a pew, another elderly lady with a lace shall around her head comes out of the confessional and takes a seat in a pew in the distance. Well I guess I’m up next.

Bless me Father for I have sinned
…

This is between
me, God and my priest so please forgive me if I don’t explain or go into detail about what happens. Father Bogart has always said God answers knee mail.

-------<>-------

After my confession I follow suit, I return to my pew and begin my penance, I am te
arful and I am full of emotions, I’m happy that I’m blessed with my faith, I think as Christians and Jews as well as Muslims we should all feel that we are blessed to be witnesses of our faith.

I have my head down,
Father Bogart taps me on the shoulder,

“Come feed the birds
with me” I’m more than happy to oblige, Father Bogart and I go way back, whenever something was bothering me he and I would go and feed the birds he has always been the one to make me see things clearer and accept them as they are the serenity prayers comes to mind”

‘God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference’

We head towards the front of the church and I make the sign of the cross as I dip my fingers in the holy water and look at the Holy Mary statue that my dad said when they were kids their pennies paid for back in the 1930’s .We walk out the side oak door of the church to the church grounds.

“Aria
I still remember how you and Sister Jean use to bake the bread for holy-communion when you were a little girl and now here we are planning the rest of your life”

We go for a walk around the church grounds, the statues
, the grotto, the birdbath we park ourselves beneath the huge cherry tree and cut bread into little pieces and toss them into the distance. The birds gather one by one, as they feast, Father Bogart and I have one of our famous chats.

“Aria tell me? what ponders you
?”

“
Father Bogart some days I think I am so overwhelmed by the whole process”

“T
ry not to lose the true meaning of what is happening, it is a sacrament in your faithful journey”

“
I guess that is it, I am so caught up in the whole process that I am losing sight of what is really important”

“Well this may seem to be a wayward question but
what is really important to you?”

“
I don’t know anymore, Ian is a fine man, he is good to me, we have known one another for half our lives” I’m sure it will be a great marriage.” I sit and toss the bread before us.

“
I can’t tell you how many couples get caught up in the materialism of the event, I’m sure that what you are feeling is due to what you confessed”

Father Bogart hit tha
t it right on the head, his statement stops me dead in my tracks, I’m plagued by nervous knots and doubt! I am troubled that my choices of what I want, what I settled for and what means the most to me are not in direct compliance with what makes a catholic marriage and honors the sacrament that we are entering into.

“Do you want for anything more Aria?”

“That is another question that lingers in my mind.”

“
Aria you have always been the constant, work, school, your family, you have always made your decision with God; you must make sure that what you are entering into is based on God.”

Again issues
that make me question my choices.

“Oh Father Bogart
, I have been tempted, and I have sought out and I am succumbed”

“Aria
God forgives you; don’t you think you should forgive yourself? It will take time, patience and prayer. And remember,  “
no one got drunk on the word wine; you have to experience it, just like life.”

“
Father Bogart I can always trust you to put my life’s pondering questions in an analogy I can relate to!”

He smiles and breaks off the last pieces of bread and flings it for the birds.

“Aria just remember this life we have here on earth is such a small part of our whole existence, we are here for such a short time, just make sure that the one you pick is who you want to spend all of your existence with, this is boot camp in preparation for the hereafter”

A tear
falls from my cheek and Father Bogart grasp my hands, come I think coffee might be in order.