A Touch Mortal (13 page)

“I
think she’s coming around.” The voice floated out of still, dark space. Her ears hummed. A palm slapped her cheek lightly. From far away, someone called her name.

“Too much,” she moaned. “Pass back.” It was all she could muster before her head lolled back. Fingers pressed against the back of her neck. The strange feeling of floating, and then someone set her down and she realized she’d been carried. Smell of dirty leather and sweat. Backseat of a cab. She forced her eyes open.

Three dark shapes sat silhouetted against the lights of the city shining through the backseat windows. Her head leaned against a shoulder, the rest of her pulled onto the lap.

“She better not be OD’ing.” She could barely make out the words through the thick accent. Cab driver.

“She’s fine.” Jarrod was there.

“Eden?” It came from whoever had her. Adam. His
fingers ran down her cheek and she shivered, leaning into the palm that followed.

“What happened?” Eden thought he was talking to her, but someone else answered.

“I don’t know. I saw her and tried to talk to her. She looked so awful I thought something was wrong. And then she fell…after the whole screaming thing.” Eden lifted an inch from Adam’s shoulder, squinting to make out the outline of whoever had spoken. A pony-tailed head was squeezed in next to Jarrod’s shape. The girl from Milton’s last night.

Eden groaned and Adam pressed her head back down against him again. She let him; taking in sips of buildings and sky through the back window the few times she bothered to open her eyes.

Just when she began to wonder if the ride would ever end, the car stopped. Adam slid out from under her, but he was back a second later, lifting her from the backseat. She felt the bounce of each of the stairs.

“Are they waiting for me?” she whispered. “I need some.”

“Key?” he asked Jarrod, ignoring her.

Jarrod swung the door open, led them up the four flights of stairs to their apartment. Someone closed the door behind them.

“Eden!” she heard James shriek, felt him pawing at
her, trying to get a look. “Who did this to her?”

“Move,” Adam said, brushing past the boy. He set her gently on the couch, then settled himself with her head on his lap, sliding a hand across her eyes when she tried to open them.

“I’m almost empty,” she croaked, trying to push his hand away. “Touch…”

“She did it to herself,” Adam said, finally answering James. The boy was there when she opened her eyes for a second. She hated his look of worry and tried to smile for him, but it felt all wrong on her face, almost a grimace.

“Herself? How?” James asked.

“Is she gonna be all right?”
She
was there, plopped in the recliner like she belonged in their apartment.

“Adam. Please.” Eden couldn’t get the words to come. She swallowed and tried again, opening her eyes to focus on Adam’s face above hers. “I got rid of too much. I need you to pass some back.”

Adam held her gaze for a minute then lowered his lips, the peck passing her a bit of Touch. Her vision cleared a bit, the throb in her head settling into a dull ache.

“Better?” Adam said.

She nodded, her attention settling on Libby. “What are you doing here?”

“She’s the one who found you. Eden, what the fuck happened?” Jarrod asked.

“I don’t know,” she mumbled, closing her eyes to blot out Adam’s face. She felt color rush to her face. It was no less embarrassing, even though she couldn’t see them. She’d totally lost control.

“You’re lucky Libby got to you right before you fell. This could have been a lot worse.” Adam’s fingers gently probed the back of her head as he turned to James. “She’s gonna need some ice. She’s too drained to heal fast enough.”

“This is why we need to do things different. More than just dosing us.” Jarrod paced the length of the room before he turned on Adam. “Why aren’t you backing me up on this?”

“Jarrod, not tonight.” Eden tried to sound commanding, give them some illusion that she still had control of the group. Of herself.

“You wanna self-destruct, fine,” Jarrod spat, pointing an accusing finger in her face. “But what happens to us when you do? This isn’t just about you, Eden! You’re paying the rent. Buying the food. You won’t let us help. You realize if something happens to you, we’re all screwed?”

“She said not now, Jarrod,” Adam hissed. James handed Adam a bag of ice wrapped in a kitchen towel. He pressed the compress against the knot rising on her scalp. She flinched.

He slid out from underneath Eden, beckoning Jarrod to
the room the boys shared. She heard them arguing through the closed door, their voices muted. She made out Adam’s “No, you’re right. Tomorrow we’ll tell her…” before the voices dropped too low to hear.

“Do you need anything?” Libby asked, trying to fill the awkwardness in the living room. “Water, maybe?”

Eden nodded absently, draping an arm across her forehead. James rushed to the sink, handing the water to Libby as if he was afraid of getting too close to Eden. The cool glass was lifted to her lips. She snatched it from Libby before the girl could tip it like a sippy cup.

“I got it,” Eden said, taking a deep gulp to prove her point. She wasn’t an invalid. Still, the crestfallen look on Libby’s face made her feel a little guilty. “Thank you,” she added, and handed her back the glass. Eden leaned into the cushions and closed her eyes, but it did no good. She could still feel Libby’s persistent staring.

“What?” she asked finally. She heard Libby shift.

“So you killed them? All of them?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, surprised by the exhaustion in her voice. “Not all. But probably some.”

“But—”

Eden cut her off with a flick of her hand. “Listen, I can’t do this right now, okay? Tomorrow.” Libby had been there. Adam and Jarrod hadn’t. Eden owed her now. There was no getting around it.
Stupid
, she chided herself,
letting her head sink deep into the cushion, relishing the numbness of the ice pack.

She heard the click of the bedroom door opening and Jarrod asking Libby if she wanted to stay, if there was anyone waiting for her.

“I don’t have anyone,” Libby replied. “I’m not like you guys.” And for just a moment before sleep stole over her, Eden almost felt sorry for the girl.

Eden jolted upright. For a second she wasn’t sure where she was; not in her bed. A blanket had been tucked around her like a shroud sometime during the night. Now it made her claustrophobic, but the warmth kept her from ripping it off.

Wet hair clung to the nape of her neck.
Am I bleeding
, she wondered, but the fingers she pressed there came back clean. A soaked washcloth lay on the pillow.

“Hey! You’re awake!” The chipper tone came from the kitchen, then Libby stepped out smiling with the wattage turned up far too high. Even the room itself seemed too bright, the window shades pulled to let in the morning sun.

This morning, everything seemed…
too
something. Libby held out a cup.

“Coffee. Black. Adam told me you like it that way. Is it okay?”

“Yeah, perfect. Thanks.” Eden took a small sip and set it down on the coffee table.

She looked around the room, stiffening. “Where’s Adam?” she asked. “Jarrod? James?” Her voice shook as she called the names, the vulnerable feeling catching her off guard.

“Relax,” Libby said. “They went out for a few. Jarrod said to tell you he was taking James out. He said you’d understand. It’s okay, though, they left me to watch you.”

“Watch me?” Eden asked. “And they just left?” Libby either didn’t catch her snide tone or was ignoring it.

She smiled again, plopping next to Eden on the couch.

“Don’t touch me!” Eden shifted uncomfortably, turned to the bright light coming in through the windows. The angle of the sun sent the wrong patterns of shadow across the floor. “What time is it?” she asked.

“Um, about twelve thirty?”

“Shit.” Eden threw off the blanket. “I’m late.” She stood, was half a stride from the couch before her body caught up with her brain. Her legs wobbled and gave out. Libby grabbed her around the waist. Already following commands, she was careful to only touch her shirt, not reach for her hand.

“What the hell are you doing? You’re going to hurt yourself!”

Eden couldn’t help but laugh at the thought of a slight bruise sidelining her. Her palms were already starting to heal from where she’d skinned them last night, but the
bump was still a tender goose egg. Libby let out an unsure twitter. Eden leaned against her until she dropped back onto the couch. She felt better, but Adam’s dose last night hadn’t been enough. Touch built in the boys when they didn’t spread, but Eden’s came mostly from the Siders.

Eden considered Libby for a moment. Clearly the boys trusted her, which said a lot.

“Go to the window for me. Tell me how many kids are out there.” Eden jutted her chin at one of the windows facing the street. Libby shot her an inquisitive look, but did as she said.

“Eight that I can see,” she started. Eden wanted to sob. The number nearly doubled yesterday’s morning group. “Four across the street at the bus stop, two over on the…”

Eden let out her breath. “How many on the
stairs
, Libby!”

She stood on her tiptoes, trying to get the best angle. “I can’t really see…like maybe two? One for sure, but there’s some feet.”

Eden sighed in relief. Two would be perfect. Their Touch might even nix the last of her headache. And she’d already kept them waiting so long.

“You’re going to help me get downstairs.” Eden didn’t bother making it a question. But Libby was already shaking her head.

“Jarrod said he needs to talk to you. He told me I was
not
to let you go downstairs no matter what you tried to bribe me with.”
Bribe, eh?
Eden thought.

“Those are Siders down there,” Eden said, choosing her words carefully. “And they’re here for me. For what I can do.” Libby twisted her hands. She had said at Milton’s that she’d heard what Eden did. “I won’t tell the boys, either,” Eden added, hating the desperation leaking out. But she had to convince her. They were waiting.

“No, he said you’d try to…” Libby started. “What
do
you do to them anyway?” Libby’s eyes gleamed, hungry for information. Eden met them.

“If you help me,” she said, “I’ll let you watch.”

L
ibby was first out the door. Over her shoulder, Eden watched the hopeful look in the two sets of eyes glaze over before she stepped out from behind her.

“It’s her!” the guy on the stairs yelped.

“Don’t be stupid.” The girl sitting beside him tossed a small rock down to the sidewalk. “That’s not even close to what she’s supposed to look like.” Her head rose as she spoke, catching sight of Eden. “It’s true,” she whispered in reverence.

“Take me around the corner,” Eden told Libby, a new wave of dizziness rolling over her. “They’ll follow.” The moment Libby moved, the other two were on their feet, poised to run if need be.
Not likely
, Eden thought.

In the alley, Libby leaned her against the wall and took an unsure step back.

“Stand there,” she told Libby, pointing to the bricks opposite. The girl did what she was told. “Don’t come
any closer.” Eden paused before adding, “No matter what happens.”

She took the boy first.

At the exhale, her eyes caught Libby’s. They blazed, taking notes on every detail, memorizing the way her hands gripped his, the way she kept her lips an inch away. As her breath did its work, his Touch passed into her, an electric current running up through her hands. Around her, the world steadied.

The other one barely waited for her partner to fall before she stepped in to take his place. When it was over, the leftovers lay, still, on the cold asphalt.

“They’re
really
dead now, aren’t they? You killed them.” Libby said slowly.

“I freed them.” Eden hesitated. “It’s not fair that we’re stuck like this. We should be able to choose.”

A long moment passed before Libby spoke. “What are we gonna do with the bodies? Do you need me to…?” She trailed off as Eden turned to the boy’s shell and blew. The remains scattered into a million pieces, dust glistening in the sunlight before it settled.

A startled “Oh” drifted from Libby’s lips. Eden waved a hand over the girl’s body. In its wake was only stained asphalt.

Eden pulled away from the wall and turned to walk from the alley. Libby was instantly at her side, but Eden
traipsed around the corner, no longer needing help. She vaulted up the stairs two at a time and slipped the key into the dead bolt, not even out of breath.

“You took their Touch, didn’t you?” Libby said as Eden opened the door and walked across the room, dropping onto the couch. “But it doesn’t affect you the way it does the rest of us.”

Eden grabbed for the cup on the coffee table. She grimaced at the tepid swallow and then set it back down. Damn, the girl was clever. She knew just about as much as any of them did, now.
So let her stay,
Eden thought. Jarrod had been right. Something had to give if she wanted to keep doing her thing. And after last night, letting Libby move in might even be enough of a peace offering.

“So, I mean, if you still need a place to crash, I owe you for yesterday.”

“Really?” Libby looked shaken by the offer, but held herself in check.

“Well, there’s a catch. We’re kind of low on space, so you’d be on the couch. At least until we figure something else out.”

“No, that’d be fine.” Libby hesitated. “Why the sudden change of heart?”

“Because we could use another Sider in our crew. And yesterday you proved to be an asset. Consider it a trial period.”

“Oh, totally. And I’ll do whatever you need. Really.” Libby blushed, though her smile stayed. “Sorry, it’s just…I haven’t had a good day in a long time.”

“Yeah, I kind of figured, you being a Sider and all. Why’d you do it?” Eden asked.

Libby sucked in a hiss of air, her smile vanishing as she dropped her eyes.

Finally she whispered, “Love.”

Eden rolled her eyes. “What, the quarterback didn’t ask you to prom even though you got hot and heavy under the bleachers?”

“You don’t have to be so bitchy about it. It wasn’t like that.” But Libby’s glare faltered, faded. “We did it so we could be together forever.”

“Suicide pact?” Eden sat up a little, taking stock of the girl in front of her. “How’d that work out for you?”

Libby turned away, hiding her face. “He’s not a Sider.”

“Jesus.” Eden shook her head.

Suddenly the room seemed too small. She could almost smell Az, crisp, like new snow. Her neck tingled, remembering the feel of his lips, the way his breath hit her skin. She closed her eyes and she was back there—the hotel, the sheets pulled loose and tossed aside, her heart pounding, hands pulling him closer,
needing
him closer. She forced her eyes open, shattering the memory.

Yesterday, she realized, for the first day in weeks, he
hadn’t called. He’d probably given up. What was there to say, anyway?

“Oh, that’s interesting,” Libby said, studying Eden’s face.

“What?” Eden asked.

“Who was he?”

She felt her face flush. “No one. He doesn’t matter.” Her phone hadn’t rung. Part of her wondered if he’d Fallen, if she’d never get the chance to answer. She swallowed hard, willing up the familiar feeling of betrayal. Rage slid scabs over the wounds.

“He really never mattered that much at all,” she found herself whispering.

Both girls jumped at the sound of the slamming door.

Jarrod stopped when he saw Eden sitting up straight, all traces of last night’s escapade reversed.

“You let her downstairs?” He glared at Libby.

Eden waved away his words. “Don’t be too hard on her. You know she didn’t stand a chance.”

“Told you she wasn’t strong enough to prevail against the will of our mighty Eden.” Adam sighed as he and James pushed around Jarrod. He set a tray on the coffee table before he graced Libby with a smile to show her everything was forgiven. “Java Boy asked about you,” he added, turning to Eden.

Jarrod tossed a newspaper at her, the pages rustling
through the air before it landed with a heavy slap next to the cups.

“Ecstasy-fueled Rave Leaves Twenty Dead After ‘Bad Trip’” screamed the headline. Eden’s breath caught.

“Twenty?” she whispered.
I should have listened to Jarrod
, she thought.
I shouldn’t have let it build.

“I’m really sorry.” James’s hand squeezed her shoulder, an offer of comfort she couldn’t bring herself to take.

“Eden, we need to talk,” Jarrod said.

Adam fished two twenties out of his pocket and handed them to Libby. “You mind going down to Milton’s? Through the alley, right, and a block down on the left. One caramel latte, two black, all tall? Grab something for yourself.” Libby reached out to take the money, looking down at the tray of steaming cups on the table, then back to the bills in her hand. Adam blushed. “Yeah, I’m not so good with the whole ‘subtle’ thing. But can you just…?”

“Yeah, sure,” Libby said.

Adam snapped his fingers at James. “You’re going with her,” he said. The boy turned to Eden, who nodded. Pulling her coat around her, Libby went for the door, James at her heels. It barely shut behind them before Jarrod started in on Eden.

“Can you please just admit that it needs to end? We’ve tried talking to you, yelling. Nothing gets through to you, Eden! You were out of control last night!”

“Hey,” Adam cautioned, taking a step closer to Jarrod. “She didn’t do it on purpose.”

“Yeah, well, she doesn’t seem to be too eager to cast aside all that power, either, now does she?” Jarrod pointed out. “And it’s pretty fucking obvious from last night that she can’t handle it after all. Not as much as she takes.”

“Any power I take is for
our
benefit. You do know that’s why no one bothers us. Why Madeline doesn’t come after us? They’re afraid. They haven’t even
thought
of challenging.”
Challenging me
, she wanted to say.

“Look at you,” Jarrod spat. “This isn’t about you ‘saving’ the Siders anymore. You can’t stop. You’re addicted.” He looked her dead in the eyes. “You’re a junkie, Eden.”

Eden felt her face grow hot.

“Jarrod, you’re blowing this out of proportion,” Adam said.

“You agreed with me.” Jarrod’s eyes flashed bitter sparks as he took a step closer. Mere inches separated the two. “She’s losing control.”

“Maybe you’re just jealous you can’t do what she can,” Adam growled back. It was almost as if they’d forgotten Eden was there at all.

“Don’t go getting all weak in the knees now that your little girlfriend is here,” Jarrod pushed.

Adam’s punch cracked against Jarrod’s eye.

“Stop it!” Eden screamed, throwing herself between
them, pressing her hand against Adam’s heaving chest. “You have no idea what it’s like! They look at me like I’m the answer to their prayers.”

“You’re obsessed with them, Eden!” Jarrod said, his hand cupped over his eye. He didn’t even pause, the built-up anger coming out in a rush. “What about us! What if Madeline had picked last night to kick you out of Manhattan and take over? You think you could have stopped her? You couldn’t even
stand
.”

With each word from him she flinched, her hands clenched across her chest. “What happens when they wear you down to nothing?” he whispered, his forehead knocking against hers. “And what happens to us when they do? Don’t you care?”

She moved her head until his fell onto her shoulder. “I’m supposed to turn them away because I’m having a hard time? I can’t just stop, Jarrod.”
Why can’t he see this is important
, she thought. “They need me.”

His sharp, sudden push sent her sprawling, sliding across the wood floor. Her mouth dropped open in shock as she came to a stop against the wall.

Adam was on him before she could react, fisting the neck of Jarrod’s sweatshirt into a knot and lifting him off the floor.

“Don’t you
ever
lay a hand on her!” he yelled.

Neither of them even noticed when Eden slunk to her
bedroom, quietly locking herself in. She didn’t bother to climb into the bed, just curled into a ball on the floor next to the door. So she could hear what Adam said after, even though he’d lowered his voice to a whisper.

“She knows how fucked up she was last night. If that doesn’t get through to her, nothing will.”

It wasn’t until then that the tears came.