A Touch Mortal (22 page)

H
ours later, but before the black sky had begun to brighten to its normal grimy yellow, Eden slipped out of her room. Creeping into the living room, she passed a shrouded body under a blanket on the couch and the crown of Gabe’s curls snuggled into the pillow on the floor. She concentrated on her feet, avoiding every creak in the floorboards. A movement near the door startled her and she misstepped. Beneath her socks, the wood gave an angry pop.

“You’re up early.” Jarrod balanced on one foot, his hand thrown against the door as he slid a sneaker on.

“I’m not. I never slept.”

He tilted his head. “You okay?”

Eden shrugged. “Lot on my mind. I’m fine.”

Jarrod seemed to take her at her word. “I was gonna go for a walk. Get some air,” he whispered. He thrust his chin out toward the two sleeping forms. “They make
it smell weird in here. Gives me a headache.”

She nodded. “Like snow or something.”

He stopped, staring at her. “Kind of, actually.”

She tucked her hands into the pocket at the front of her hoodie. Jarrod considered her for a second as he grabbed his jacket up from the floor.

“Wanna come?”

Once they were outside, Eden noticed the subtle difference. She took in the city air, the scents of exhaust and crisp steps and rushed caffeine. Jarrod had been right about the apartment. Outside, though, even beneath the city air, she could still smell Az on her. Eden shivered.

Jarrod kept his eyes down, kicked a tattered shred of newspaper. It caught on his shoe, slid and hung on the laces as if it wasn’t quite ready to let go yet. He used his other foot to scrape it free.

“So, you’re kinda screwed with the whole Adam and Az thing, huh?” There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in his voice.
Count on Jarrod to cut through
, she thought. “You and Az have some pretty thick history.” It wasn’t a question.

“You could say that.”

“So where’s that leave Adam?”

Eden slowed her steps, but Jarrod matched them. Finally she said, “Better off than you’d think.” Jarrod
nodded, as if her answer had made perfect sense.

“He’s my friend. But you need to do what’s right for you.” He stopped, his eyes drawing her in. “You know I’ve got your back no matter what happens with that, right?”

Eden didn’t answer.

Instead of heading toward Milton’s they took a left. Her eyes strayed to the doorway where they’d found James as they passed.

Empty. No crime scene tape, no flowers. Not for a death that hadn’t registered to the mortals.

They should have done something. Marked the spot. Later, maybe, they could come back. Put up some flowers or something. She glanced at Jarrod, wondering if he felt the same, but his face was twisted away. He couldn’t even look.

Eden toed at the frozen ground. She wished they had gone the other way, toward Milton’s. They walked on in silence.

She thought of things she should have been asking him, like what was going on with him and Libby, and if he was holding up against the Touch. For a second she even considered telling him what she suspected about Az. But that would require telling him how she’d found out.

“You’re quiet,” he said finally. She didn’t answer, because she wasn’t about to deny it. “How long are they staying? Until they think you’re safe, right?”

She nodded.

“They don’t think we can do the job, huh?” There was a heavy silence before he spoke. “What do you think?” he asked.

She was tempted to just shrug again, but forced herself to answer, to actually think about it herself. “I don’t know. The bad guys searching me out. The good guys swooping in to the rescue.” She flexed her bare fingers and thrust them into her pockets, twisted her hands against the lining. “Something doesn’t sit right with me.”

He waited, scratching a fingernail across his zipper. “You think Az and Gabe aren’t telling you everything?”

“Jarrod, every Sider who’s made it to our stairs had our address. You can’t tell me the Fallen wouldn’t have been able to find it out.”

Jarrod stopped. “Jesus. I never thought about that.”

She nodded, lost in thought. “I think the Fallen knew where I was the whole time. I don’t think they want me dead.” Jarrod’s eyes widened but she went on. “What if I didn’t kill myself? What if that’s why I’m different?”

“Are you asking me, or telling me?” He tucked his arms into the space next to his chest to keep them warm. They were almost around the block, heading back through the alley.

“I don’t know. I just have a feeling.”

Jarrod stopped at the base of their stairs. “Eden, you
wouldn’t have said anything if it was just a feeling. And that came out of nowhere. What’s going on? Adam said you don’t remember what happened when you died.”

“I remember some.” Eden sighed, zipping her jacket tight against her neck. She had only climbed one stair, barely opened her mouth when her ring tone sounded. The number didn’t look familiar, but she snapped it open anyway.

“Told any good stories lately?” the caller asked.

Eden gripped the phone tight enough that she heard the chime of the speakerphone come on.

“Hang on a sec,” she told Luke, pressing the Speaker button again to shut it off. Jarrod dropped down two stairs. “It’ll be a minute,” she told him.

Jarrod was already shaking his head. “Not leaving you alone out here. I’ll wait up by the door if you need privacy or something.”

“Go!” she said. He stepped backward once, raising a few inches.

“Eden.”

“We’re not done talking, I promise. But I need to take this.”

She descended to the sidewalk and crossed the street. Behind her, the door slammed.

“I figured it would take you quite a bit longer to shake him,” Luke said.

“Where are you?” Her eyes ricocheted across the parked cars, sidewalks. “What do you want?” she asked.

“Through your alley. I’ll meet you on the other side, doorway of the cabaret. Walk my way, but don’t stop. I’ll follow you.” He hung up before she could answer.

S
he stared into the alley, her heart thumping wildly. For all she knew it was a trap, Luke waiting for her behind the Dumpster. But what other choice was there?

She cursed under her breath, taking a tentative few steps. When nothing happened, she hurried through. As she passed the doorway to the cabaret, she caught his shadow in her peripheral vision.

He fell into step beside her two blocks later.

“How did you get my number?” she asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking.

Luke regarded her for a moment. “I applaud the effort, but you’ll have to forgive me if I keep my secrets for now. I’m here to finish our conversation. I feel a bit of sympathy for you, I think. I want to offer you my protection.”

Eden leaned against the brick face of a bakery, throwing a sole up on the wall behind her. “Protection from what, exactly?”

He dragged his Zippo from his pocket, flipping the lighter across his knuckles before snapping out the flame with the lid. “The Bound,” he said.

She scoffed. “Gabe would never put me in danger.”

“Honestly, Eden, I’m surprised he’s held out this long. He must care for you very deeply.”

“What do you mean ‘held out’?”

Luke smiled as he stretched.

“Eventually all good boys tattle to Daddy. Gabriel will have to tell Upstairs about the Siders. About you. It’s encoded into his makeup. He’s not bad for a Bound, but you don’t know the others like I do.”

She gave him a once-over. “Just why would I need protecting from them again?”

A hiss escaped through his teeth. “Big mistake, underestimating the Bound. They’ve flooded the world on a whim, killed off an entire generation of children in Egypt because someone called in a favor.” He sighed, the sound soft and sad. “Eden, how do you think they’ll react to the Siders, the way you undo their perfect little paths with your Touch? They will smite your ass without a second thought. Not to mention what will befall your poor Gabriel for leaving them out of the loop.”

Her eyes flicked to his, that same self-satisfied grin stretched across his face, dancing in his dark eyes. They caught the morning light, only an impossibly deep brown,
not the black she had suspected last night. “I just want you to consider that maybe there’s a better option than waiting to see what happens. Waiting until maybe another of your friends is stolen away. Where was Gabriel when you needed him then?”

She gave him a second to believe she was considering it, another to convince herself she wasn’t.

“He didn’t know about that,” she said defensively. “He only came to me after.”

“Eden, he’s been watching you for months now.” Luke laid his hands on her shoulders. Her muscles twitched as if to avoid his fingers. “The Bound might already know about the Siders. Which means you’re running out of time.”

Eden met his eyes. What would Gabe do if the Bound came after her? Would he help, go against his own side? The Fallen didn’t have rules to follow; they were free to do whatever they wanted. Whatever they had to. It was a freedom Gabe didn’t have. Luke slid his hands from her shoulders, but didn’t break eye contact.

“I think,” he whispered, “you should consider my offer.” Her head bobbed slightly, her thoughts feeling far away. A memory of Az floated through her mind. They used to be so happy. Why had he been so eager to throw it away? A candle of rage flared to life. He’d never answered that question. Luke at least was giving her answers.
No
,
she thought.
Concentrate. Luke is not the good guy.

Blink
, something deep whispered.

She forced her eyelids down, the lashes crushing together. “Don’t…don’t look at me like that.” Her throat oozed the words out.

“You’re a strong-willed little thing, aren’t you? Is that why Az is so captivated? Why Gabe risks everything for you?” She heard him biting back the anger in his tone. The smooth carefree voice was back when he spoke again. “I just want you in the right frame of mind, Eden. Doing nothing will not end well for you.”

“Are we done here?” When she opened her eyes she had to squint against the brightening morning. It had to be at least eight by now. The rest of them would be waking up soon. She wondered how long Jarrod would be able to hold Gabe off before he launched a search party.

Luke smashed a fist against the bricks beside them. She stepped back, his sudden rage catching her off guard. An elderly couple making their way toward them startled, before turning into the bakery. “You can do something no one else can do. Do you realize the power you have?”

“Yes. I send them Upstairs.”

Luke cupped his hand, the bloodied knuckles smearing against his other palm. “Really now. Who told you that fairy tale?”

“Gabriel,” she hissed, his proper name tripping on
her tongue. “And the Bound can’t lie.” She spun, heading back through the alley.

She didn’t stop until she was through her security door, pressing her back against it, her breath coming in gasps. She swallowed hard, tried to force herself to control her breathing.

Her fear faded enough for anger to ease in. Now, apparently Downstairs
and
Up were after her.

And it all led back to Az. She clenched her hands into fists at her sides. He’d ruined her life, and now he was fucking with her afterlife.

Eden stomped up the stairs, her toes screaming as she slammed them against each step. The weak pink rubber of her shoes did nothing to absorb the shock.

She flung the door open, skirting her eyes across the room until she found Az on the couch. Jarrod was slouched in a chair with Libby next to him on the floor. She ignored them.

“You,” she said, pointing to Az. “We need to talk. Now.” She turned to Jarrod. “Where’s Adam?”

“Sleeping. Your room,” he stuttered, eyes wide.

“Then we’re borrowing yours,” she said, yanking Az from his seat.

She snapped the light on in the boys’ room, the smell of gym socks and body spray overpowering. They couldn’t even clean. Az closed the door behind him.

“What got you all twisted?” he asked. She reared her palm back, sent it forward with every ounce of hatred she could muster, fingers curling at the last second. The pad of her hand cracked against his cheek, nails gouging the skin there.

She reared again, but he ducked his head and caught her hand. A pang shot up her arm as her finger jammed, the pain tripling when he crumpled her fist in his.

“You prick,” she growled, yanking her hand away. “You fucking prick.” Az took a step, old wrappers crunching underfoot. He crouched, hands spread, as if she were going to charge. Her skin hummed for her to do it, attack him, beat the shit out of him.

She panted, trying to slow her breathing, steadied herself on the dresser. The knobs dug into her back.

He straightened, taking a chance that she was done, and drew his fingers along the oozing claw marks. “Jesus, Eden! What the hell’s wrong with you!”

I hit him
, she thought in disbelief. The energy in the room seemed to crackle and sputter. Everything went still, silent.

“Did you kill me?” she whispered.

The change in his face caught her off guard. He parted his lips, but closed them without a word. She couldn’t place the emotion in the muted muddy color of his eyes.

Az slumped to the floor, crumpling onto a pile of dirty shirts and jeans left against the wall. He dropped his head, his face out of view.

Her arms were sticky against the lining of her coat as she slipped it off. She let it fall, heat escaping from the sleeves. She dropped slowly, leaning her back against the dresser in defeat.

“Aren’t you going to say anything?” she asked.

He raised his head, meeting her eyes. “Who told you that?” he asked weakly.

Her vision blurred. She didn’t bother to blink, just let the moisture build against the dam of her eyelashes. It reached the tipping point, spilling over. “I want the
truth
, Az.”

He cupped a hand under her jaw, his fingers against her cheek. “Do you realize what you’re asking me to do?”

She heard a commotion through the door, coming from the living room. The muted voices of Jarrod and Adam arguing and Gabe chiming in. Gabe, who’d told her in Milton’s that sins couldn’t be spoken out loud.

She met his eyes, saw the pleading in them. “Do you know how hard it is to keep these things in?” he asked. “The risks taken for you?”

“You think just because you took some tiny risks that I’m going to be okay with this?” Az closed his eyes, wincing at her words, and she realized he’d risked Falling.
Risked everything. He scooted across the floor until his knees touched hers.

Everything stopped except the pounding rush in her ears. She shook her head. The emptiness there spread, filling her arms, her legs, everything going dead inside.

“Don’t make it for nothing.” He pulled her hand suddenly, the momentum raising her onto her knees, tumbling her toward him. Her breath stalled as she caught herself inches from his lips.

He kissed her, a soft hesitant flutter asking permission.

“I hate you,” she whispered. Her hand caught his neck, her fingers twisting into the curls there, and she almost believed she had the strength to pull away. “I hated you.” But then she tipped forward, just enough, and his mouth met hers hard, desperate and hungry.

She kissed him back, her body remembering his, anticipating, moving into his arms as they came up to pull her closer. A thousand complications sprang to her mind. She pushed them back down. All that mattered was Az, there and in her arms and kissing her.

He broke away, his breath rushing across her lips. His eyes met hers, the pupils dilated. Pain, she realized. His eyes were full of pain. And fear.

“Az?” His head pitched, his hand wrapping across his gut as he doubled over. A moan swelled from his throat as he curled tight. Her brain tried to make sense of it, the
sudden change, but all she could think of were the roly-poly bugs behind the stones in her backyard when she’d been little. The way they’d balled up at her touch. His lips peeled in a grimace as his head jerked back to his spine.

She’d already brought her hand down, almost brushing against him, and the hand hovered there, frozen. Her lips tingled. Touch.

“Oh God,” she murmured, terror springing tears to her eyes. “Gabe!” Her throat ripped out the name, cracking and choking her off mid-scream.

The door burst open and Gabe fell down next to them.

“What’s going on?” Gabe asked, pulling at Az’s arm. Az was shivering now, his skin slick and gray. “Eden?”

“Touch. I passed him Touch.” She heard a thumping that she thought was her heart before she realized it was the rest of them running to the threshold.

“But…” Gabe grew quiet. “Oh!” he whispered, his mouth a surprised oval. He looked down to Az, then back at her. “Oh.”

Az’s head rolled on his shoulders. “It burns,” he said weakly.

“I’m sorry.” She would have cried if there’d been time to think about it.

“Why would you do this?” he whispered before he lolled forward again.

“Get him up,” she said, uncoiling one of his arms,
yanking his deadweight. “We’ve got to get him downstairs. He has to spread it.”

Gabe looked sick. “He can’t.”

“What are you talking about?” She strained, trying to lift Az’s shoulders.

“He’s not a Sider, Eden. He
can’t
spread it.”

Misery coiled inside her, mirroring his body.
What have I done?
Az shuddered, his breath coming in sharp, shallow gasps.

“This is just the start, Eden.” Gabe crouched next to her. “He’s constantly fighting the need to complete his Fall. Battling his darkest thoughts.” He closed his eyes, lowering his voice. “You know what Touch does.”

Az’s eyes fluttered open.

They weren’t blue anymore. Or the angry red they’d been minutes ago in the bedroom. She could see the vessels, the cord of his optic nerve, the muscles concaving around the back of the orb. He blinked and they flashed obsidian black.