A Song for Us (26 page)

SARAH

I
TRIED TO ESCAPE
from my thoughts, but it was useless. A knock came at the door to my room and I turned to see a nurse standing in the open space.

“You have a visitor.”

I pushed up from my bed, terrified and hopeful in the same moment. The nurse stepped aside to reveal a woman who looked like the mirror image of myself, only younger. I blinked, unable to believe what I was seeing.

“Jenny?” I pushed to my feet and my vision blurred. I wanted to run toward her, embrace her, but I stopped. I hadn’t spoken to her in years and she had every right to hate me. But then she took a step forward and then lunged toward me, wrapping her arms around me and pulling me against her.

“I’m so sorry, Jenny. I’m so sorry,” I whispered over and over as she buried her face in the crook of my neck. “I shouldn’t have left you there with him. I’ll never forgive myself.” I pulled back to look her in the eye.

She grabbed my hands and squeezed them tightly as tears streamed down her cheeks. “No. Don’t do this. I was safe. I went and lived with Aunt Carla.”

Relief washed over me as I realized she had never had to endure what I went through. I had been carrying around the guilt of what could have happened for years, and it had slowly been killing me.

“Why didn’t you go to her house, Sarah? Why didn’t you ever come find me?”

“I couldn’t look you in the eye after . . . after what had happened. I was afraid everyone blamed me . . . afraid of what had happened after I’d left you . . . I couldn’t face it.”

“No one blamed you. Not even Mom. She was devastated by what happened.”

“What?” Jenny knew? And she told Mom? And Mom was . . . devastated? Maybe her indifference to my pain had just been . . . blindness?

All of these years I thought I carried the burden of this secret alone.

“When you didn’t come meet me at school, I knew you had finally left. I ran back in and told my teacher to call Mom at work. I didn’t understand. I was too young back then, but I
knew you ran away because of Phil. I tried to explain it to Mom. She wasn’t sure what had happened, but she knew it had to be more than you just disliking him.” She paused and met my gaze. “She confronted him and he denied ever doing anything to you, but she knew he couldn’t be trusted to be around me without knowing the whole story. She took me to Carla’s and we never went back. She tried to have Phil arrested, but without you there wasn’t any proof, and all I knew was that he scared you and was always trying to be alone with you when Mom wasn’t around.”

I took a few steps back and sank down on the edge of the bed as my thoughts raced with all of this new information. Everyone knew. I could have told my mother . . .and she would have believed me. Jenny had been safe all this time.

“How did you know I was here? How did they find you?”

“You have some very good friends that really care about you. Cass spent hours scouring the Internet, Facebook, everything. It was her who got in touch with us.”

“How is Mom?”

“She misses you.”

“Then why isn’t she here?”

“She blames herself for what happened to you, Sarah. It nearly killed her, you know. She was afraid you wouldn’t want to see her.” She swallowed. “She’s never stopped thinking about you, talking about you . . . She’s just been living in fear that you hate her, that you blame her like she blames herself . . .”

“That makes two of us.” I looked over my sister. She was wearing a sundress with yellow roses covering the bottom of the skirt. She wore little makeup and her hair was swept up in a ponytail.

The nurse who had been waiting in the hallway stepped inside, clearing her throat. “Are you okay, Sarah?” Her eyes danced between my sister and me.

“Yeah, I think . . . I think that, finally, I am.”

ERIC

I
NEED TO SEE
Sarah Winsor.”

“Are you family?” the receptionist asked as she clicked the keys on her computer. She glanced up at me, her eyes inspecting the injuries to my hands from beating the hell out of Derek. “It looks like she has a visitor right now and she is under restriction.”

“Who? Who is here to see her?” I leaned over the desk toward her.

“You need to lower your voice, sir. I can’t divulge that information to you. You will have to wait to see her when she is released.”

“When will that be?”

“I don’t know, sir. That is up to her doctor. I’m sorry.”

I slammed my hands down on the counter before stalking off and out the front door of the hospital. I paced back and forth on the sidewalk as I tried to figure out what to do next. She was so close
and I couldn’t protect her. How could they call her family? What if her stepdad was up there with her right now?

I wanted to fight my way to her, but I had no idea where in the building she was. All I could do was wait for this torture to end and hope whatever she was enduring wasn’t going to be the final straw that broke her completely.

I sank down on the sidewalk and leaned back against the hospital wall as I stared out at the clouds overhead. People came and went, some filled with joy at the start of a new life, others in tears as a life had ended.

As I watched, it seemed as if the world had stopped for each of them, nothing more important than this moment. Some prayed, others cursed, and I sat there, helpless as the rest. It hit me that I was still imprisoned, even if I wasn’t behind bars.

The automatic doors slid open beside me and my heart stopped as a brunette walked by me and into the street. I pushed to my feet and took off after her.

“Sarah?” I yelled, and put my hand on her shoulder. As she turned to face me, she looked startled. Her resemblance to Sarah was unbelievable. She was what I imagined Sarah would look like had she not been through hell. “Jenny?” I asked as I recalled Sarah’s confessions about her little sister, whom she had left behind.

“Are you Derek?” She took a step back from me.

“No. Wait. He isn’t with her?”

“I need to know who you are before I tell you anything about my sister.”

“I’m E. I know she probably doesn’t want to see me.” My head pounded and I tried to swallow the pain.

“She told me what you did for her. Thank you. It’s good to know someone was looking out for her. All this time I thought she was alone.”

“Someone had to after her family abandoned her,” I snapped, immediately regretting my words. Jenny was only a child when Sarah left and it wasn’t her fault.

“Do you want to go for a coffee or something so we can talk a little more privately?” She leaned her head toward the parking lot.

“I need to wait here for Sarah.”

“They plan to release her tomorrow. There is nothing you can do until then. She’s going to be okay.”

I nodded reluctantly and she turned to continue walking toward her car, and I followed her to an old, brown Volkswagen Beetle.

We rode in silence as the radio played upbeat pop music. I couldn’t help but laugh and shake my head.

“What? This is a good song.”

“You are nothing like your sister.” Even thinking of Sarah was painful and I stared out the window, the smile falling from my face.

“Tell me about her.”

“First, I need to know about your parents.”

Jenny glanced over at me, not sure of what she could say or what I already knew.

“Sarah told me everything.
Everything.”

“It’s not what you think. She was scared. She didn’t think anyone
would help her. We had no idea where she had gone when she ran away.”

“Why isn’t her mother here if she was so worried after Sarah left? Why didn’t she go after her?”

“She still hasn’t forgiven herself for what happened.”

“Good. I haven’t forgiven her either.”

Jenny sighed as she clicked on her turn signal and turned down another road. “She didn’t know. When she found out, she left Phil.” Jenny’s eyes met mine briefly as I absorbed that new information.

“Sarah is a singer.” I smiled as I relaxed my head against the seat. “Her band toured with mine.”

“Was Derek in her band?”

I shook my head, not wanting to explain how things fell apart with Derek. That was Sarah’s story to tell. “Where is he?”

“Sarah said he went to Texas.”

When Sarah needed him most, he had abandoned her once again. He was lucky he was so far away or I would have hunted his ass down and finished what I had started.

“She was supposed to go with him.” I clenched my jaw as I remembered how much it had killed me when I had found that out.

“I want her to come stay with me for a while. She needs to be with family.”

SARAH

Y
OU SEEM TO
be in better spirits.”

I glanced up at Cass, who sat cross-legged on the end of my bed. “I saw my sister for the first time since I had left home.”

“How did you feel about seeing her after all of these years?”

“Terrified.”

“And now?”

“Relieved. Thank you for finding her.”

“Change isn’t always a bad thing, you know.”

“It usually is for me.”

“What you are going to do when you leave here?”

“I don’t know what I am going to do. I’m pretty sure I no
longer have a band.” I laughed sadly as I thought about Derek. “I’m sure everyone thinks I am crazy.” I heard E’s voice in my mind telling me I was killing him. I wanted to tell him then what he meant to me, but it was too late. Every person I got close to ran from me eventually.

“You are hardly the crazy one in our messed-up family.”

I pictured Cass and Tucker looking at each other with love in their eyes. They had been through so much together and now their lives were perfect. I wondered if it would ever be possible to get past everything and one day be happy like them.

“My boyfriend ran off to Texas and left me here, and E . . .” I hated how my heart ached as I thought of him.

“Do you miss him?” Cass pulled her lip between her teeth.

“So much . . . and now he is sitting in jail because of me.”

“I was talking about Derek.”

I could feel my cheeks flush and I looked down at the pillow on my lap, picking a loose thread with my nails. “I knew he was no good for me, but he was always there and he never asked questions.”

“It’s always way easier to deny anything had happened than face it.” Cass paused and glanced down at her hands. “I can relate to that.”

“Something like that, I guess.” I nodded, knowing she understood better than anyone else.

“But the problems didn’t go away that way, did they?”

“I’m here aren’t I?” I joked, trying to hide behind my humor.

“But you told E. You could have talked to me.”

“He cared.”

“We all care about you, Sarah. I know we have been crazy busy with touring and getting married, but I would have been there for you.”

“E deserves so much better than me.”

“And you deserved to be cheated on, humiliated . . . cast aside?”

I didn’t say anything as I shifted on the bed. I didn’t want to talk about E anymore.

“In here it is easy to avoid what is bothering you, but tomorrow you are going to be out there again and you can’t run forever. Trust me. I tried that once.”

THE DOCTOR LOOKED
over the cuts on my arms. I was slowly starting to heal, both inside and out. As scared as I was to leave this place, I was going stir-crazy after four days of this. I wanted to see Jenny again and find out everything about her life since I had left.

“You’re all set. Take care of yourself.” He patted me on the shoulder as I slid off the chair and walked back to my room.

As I changed into my street clothes, the nurse popped her head into my room with a bright smile on her face. “Your sister
is here for you. I have her waiting down the hall at the front desk.”

“Thank you.” I smiled. I glanced around the sterile space and took a deep breath before heading out into the hallway. Jenny’s eyes met mine and she ran down the hall toward me, pulling me in for a hug.

“I missed you,” she said, and I pulled back as I tucked my hair behind my ear. It was overwhelming. She looped her arm in mine and began walking with me down the hall to the double doors. “Come on. I have someone waiting for you.” I stopped walking, unsure if I could handle seeing my mom yet. I had run off, no explanation, and she had no idea if I was even alive for all of this time. “It’s going to be fine. I promise you. I’m with you now.”