A Season of Eden (17 page)

He continued to listen.

“So today he told me to screw off.” I searched his open face for any signs of emotion but he remained neutral. “Anyway, that’s not that much of an issue. Not compared to what Stacey did.”

“Your stepmom?”

I nodded. “I… I’m afraid to go home and see what’s left.”

“Does your dad know?”

“He knows. I can’t believe he’s letting her walk out with everything. Those things were a part of my mom, you know? It’s so unfair.”

He nodded and lightly touched my shoulder, guiding me to the chairs. We both sat. My eyes followed the graceful caress of his fingers. “You have beautiful hands,” I said.

He let out a light laugh. “I do?” He eyed them. “Is that a female thing?”

“Most girls like great hands.”

“Oh.” He hid his hands then, tucking them into the pockets of his pants.

“When your dad left, how old were you?” I asked.

“Ten.”

“And you haven’t seen him since?”

“Nope.”

“Do you even know where he is?”

“I have a vague idea. When I was a teenager, I had this insatiable curiosity to find him. Mom hated it, but she didn’t stop me. I think the teenaged years are the defining years.

Junior high and high school are brutal. They can cut you to shreds or carve you into the person you’re going to be.”

“Wow, that’s… you’re right.” I couldn’t believe how insightful he was. I would have never had a conversation like this with Matt.

“So, did you find him?”

“I came close. I knew he still lived in Los Angeles. So I called him one day, told him who I was and that I wanted him to come see me.” He lowered his head for a moment, his hands coming out of his pockets, fingers pressing together as he leaned forward on his knees. “He told me that part of his life was over. He was sorry if I wanted to see him but that was never going to happen.”

“I’m sorry.”

He shrugged. “It was another carve of the knife, you know? Sure, I was disappointed, but I had my mom. She’s been great.”

“I won’t miss Stacey at all. She wanted two things: my dad’s money and my dad—in that order. It was disgusting.”

“People get into relationships for all kinds of reasons, Eden.” His eyes flickered with something I didn’t understand but chilled me with the unknown.

“My reasons have changed,” I stated.

He tilted his head and sat back. “How so?”

“I can admit I’ve hooked up with a guy for the wrong reasons—how hot he was or whatever. But that’s changed.

I mean, one thing I’ve learned is just because somebody’s hot doesn’t mean that they have anything worthwhile going on inside. In fact, nothing’s more disappointing.”

A faint smile curved the edges of his lips. “I agree.”

“I guess that’s something we all figure out, my dad later than most.”

“You’ve got a strong head on your shoulders,” he looked impressed. “I imagine you acquired it through a lot of experience and study, and I don’t mean purely academic study.”

Pleased that he would notice, my cheeks heated. “Yeah, I like watching people—studying them. It hasn’t kept me from making plenty of my own mistakes, but I avoided a few.”

“I wish I could say that.” He stood, slipped his hands in his pockets. I wondered if he wanted to leave. Being here—with him— gave me the security of being tucked into bed.

“Do you have to go?”

He studied me a moment, emotions I tried to read shifting on his face – curiosity and guilt, the last thing I wanted him to feel.

“Eden, if you look at me that way, I… I won’t be able to.”

Power surged through me. I didn’t move, hoping he wouldn’t either. “I like being here.”

“Yeah.”

Another silence pulled between us. He held my gaze for a while. It caused my heart to flutter. The flickering of concern was still in his eyes and it plucked guilt inside of me. I shouldn’t keep him, he had a life of his own, things he had to do. I lowered my head and looked at my hands clasped in my lap.

“Thank you for… listening.” I stood. Though I wanted to stay, our brief talk had lifted my spirits. I could face going home now. “I didn’t know where else to go.”

He took a few steps to the piano and wrote on a yellow Post It. Then he turned and came toward me with his hand out. “Here’s my phone number.”

My eyes widened and I worked to remain casual. I took the yellow paper and looked at the number—his number.

“That’s my cell. Call me anytime.”

I wanted to wrap around him again, I was so elated. I nodded and smiled. “Sure. Okay.” The yellow Post It pad caught my eye on the piano behind him. I crossed to it, picked up the pen he’d used and felt his warmth still there.

After I’d written on the paper, I peeled off the piece and went to him.

“The offer goes both ways.” I extended my cell phone number.

He looked at the paper in my hand as if considering whether or not he should touch it, let alone take it. I waited, my breath held. Finally, his fingertips brushed mine and he took the note.

“This has to remain between us, Eden,” he said, gently tucking the paper into the breast pocket of his shirt. His expression was solemn.

“I told you, there is no one in my life. You just heard for yourself.”

He took in a deep breath. “That’s not true anymore, is it?” Our eyes held again. He opened the door for me and I left.

•••

When I got home, the moving van was gone. So was Stacey’s car. My dad’s Lexus was in the open garage.

I looked at my cell phone for the time. Five o’clock.

Dad never walked through the door before six-thirty.

Nervous, I walked in like I always did, not sure what to expect. Another glimpse of the empty places where furniture had once been, where paintings had hung, and I felt as though I’d been slugged in the stomach. Even the smell of Camilla’s garlic and spices didn’t do much to help me feel comforted.

My feet echoed on the tile floor. I stopped in the entry room, listening for where my dad might be but heard nothing. Taking my purse upstairs with me, I went to my bedroom.

Farther down the hall, the master bedroom door was slightly ajar. I heard Dad weeping. For a minute I stood unable to move. I hadn’t heard him cry since Mom had passed. A flash of anger stole any sympathy I had for him.

How could he even compare his love for Mom with what he’d had with Stacey?

Curiosity moved me to his door. I peered in.

The bed was torn apart; vases of silk flowers had been thrown across the room and had shattered into pieces. The scent of Stacey’s perfume hung heavy in the air. The entire top of her dressing table had been swiped clean. Perfume bottles, framed photos of Stacey, of Dad with Stacey, now lay broken on the floor.

Dad sat on the bed, his suit jacket discarded in the rumpled sheets, his white shirt and tie loose around his neck. He held his head in his hands, bent over in the soft sounds of weary mourning.

“Dad?”

His head jerked up. Red rimmed his swollen eyes.

“Eden. I didn’t think you were here.”

“I just got here.”

He took in a deep breath. “So, you know that Stacey’s gone.”

I nodded and took a step into the room the scent of her perfume, mixed with his cologne like marital battle odor. “I came home earlier. She was taking a butt-load of stuff. Dad, how could you let her?”

He looked at me a minute. “You’re a selfish girl, Eden.”

“Excuse me?” Bitterness and old anger soured my tone. “I’m not the one who spent years in a relationship with a gold digger. You couldn’t even give Mom two years respect. What? Was Stacey that great that you could forget Mom and me?”

He rose as if he carried a mountain on his shoulders.

His face hardened. “Like I said, you’re selfish. I don’t need to explain what I do to you.”

“Then who do you explain anything to?” I steamed.

“Your law partners? What an asinine answer that is.” Tears threatened to spring out of my eyes. I fought them.

He started picking up the mess and didn’t say anything.

I wanted to scream at him that he was a hypocrite.
I
was selfish? I wasn’t the one who had spent the last ten years in an older man-younger woman relationship. I wasn’t the one who had completely ignored his daughter for a decade.

I let out a trembling sigh and left him to clean up his own carnage.

William was at my bedroom door and I bent down and scrubbed him. “Hey, Will.” He followed me into my bedroom and I shut the door, still simmering, still teetering on the verge of tears after Dad’s comment.

Flopping on the bed, I patted the mattress so William would join me. He labored up on his hind legs panting, but needed me to pull him onto the mattress. I wrapped my arms around him, blinking back the last of the tears threatening to fall.

My phone rang and I checked the screen. Brielle. I almost ignored her, figuring she deserved it. Still, I had so much swirling inside of me, to talk to her would make me feel better.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Awkward, with what had happened at lunch.

“What’s up?”

“Matt’s just really angry at you. He doesn’t know I’m calling, but I couldn’t leave it like that, you know?”

“Don’t let him tell you what to do, Brielle.”

“I know, I know. But I’m not you, Eden. I’ve liked him for a long time and he finally likes me. I can’t blow that.”

“Being yourself is not blowing anything,” I told her. “Guys walk all over girls that don’t stand up for themselves.” Even as I reminded her of this, I knew it fell on deaf ears. We’d had this talk a hundred times because Brielle ended up being the doormat in her relationships.

“You’re right. But…”

I had my answer. She was laying herself down at Matt’s feet. “Fine, whatever.” I didn’t want to feel the pinch of concern inside. Too many other hurts were already rampant, fighting. “Other than lunch’s debacle, how is everything? It seems like forever since we talked.”

“I know.” Her voice lightened with relief that I wouldn’t be harping on her anymore. “It’s been okay. I’m getting ready for midterms, aren’t you?”

I hadn’t even thought about them. “Yeah, I am.”

“And, you know, hanging with Matt.”

We were back around her tiny circle already. “Hey, I don’t care if we talk about you guys, I really don’t. I’d rather hear you go on and on about Matt than not talk, ‘kay?”

“’Kay. So, anything up with you?” she asked.

James’ face came into my mind. I closed my eyes when a shudder rumbled my body just thinking about how it felt when he held me. I smiled. “Not much. Except Stacey up and left today.”

“What!?”

“Yeah. Got herself a moving van and packed up half of our stuff.”

“No way. And your dad let her?”

“Are you kidding? Dad probably rented her the moving van.” A fresh burn of anger singed me again.

“He wanted her to go?”

“No, not that. He’s…” I thought of his swollen face and couldn’t talk about his pain. “He just pays for everything, you know that.”

“I can’t believe Stacey left. I didn’t see that coming.”

“You didn’t hear the fights.”

“Still, did you think she’d ever leave?”

“She probably got bored. People do that.” I’d just done that. Still, I thought adults outgrew relationship boredom.

“It wasn’t what Dad wanted, that’s for sure.”

“Yeah.”

“Hey, there’s something we need to talk about.” The long silence warned me what Brielle had to say next might be bad.

“What?” I wondered if she’d heard something about me and James. My heart started to skip.

“You know prom’s coming.”

I let out a sigh. “Don’t worry about it.”

“But you and Matt—”

“—We’re not together anymore. Go for it. I’m sure he wants that.” The slight pause made me ask, “Doesn’t he?”

“That’s the thing. I asked him about it and he didn’t say.

He just said he wasn’t sure what he was doing.”

“Well he’s not going with me, so…” I couldn’t believe Matt was stringing her along with such a deceptive leash.

“Who will you go with?”

“I don’t know and right now, I don’t care if I go or not.” Spending the night partying, then going to some ratty hotel sounded millions of lifetimes away from me now.