A Season of Eden (13 page)

The melody reached in. Touched me. Filled me. As if an invisible siphon leeched off the notes and chords with the urgency of needed breath. He slowed the piece, his long fingers curling and flattening on the ivory keys, his eyes closing, lashes pressed against his cheeks. The tune echoed off the empty walls with one final deep chord.

When he opened his eyes, they locked on mine. His hands slid from the keys and into his lap. “There can’t be anything between us.”

“I’d like us to be friends.”

Caution and amusement fought on his face. “Friends?”

I had to smile. “Okay, well, maybe more. I think you’re interesting. You’re so passionate about your work it’s contagious.”

He let out a low laugh. “I don’t know how contagious it is. Nobody else seems to care.”

“Then they’re retarded.”

He shook his head, settling another piercing look at me. “My position is precarious, Eden. You’re smart enough to know that.”

“But I’m eighteen. I’m totally legal. If I weren’t in school and we met at a club, it wouldn’t matter. Would it?”

“Probably not.”

“If we
had
met at a club, would you have talked to me?”

He looked at the keys for a moment, tapping a finger silently against one solitary note without it making a sound.

Then he looked into my eyes. “Eden, that’s not something I can tell you.”

My insides buzzed with thrill. “Why not? Are you afraid?” Though I had the sudden squeeze of disappointment around my heart that perhaps he wasn’t attracted to me, the way his eyes sharpened told me otherwise. “Or are you afraid I’ll tell someone.”

“I’m just starting my career.”

“I have no one that cares enough about me that I would tell something like this to.”

His brows knit across his face. For another long moment, he looked at me with deep worry that opened my heart. “You said your parents don’t come to concerts, but, they’re your parents. And you’re a teenaged girl. They want to know what’s going on in your life.”

“Hard to believe but, no. My dad remarried after my mother died, and they can’t keep their hands off each other.

They don’t know I’m even around and could care less that I’m not.”

He looked at me as if deciphering whether or not I could be serious. “What about your friends?”

I shook my head. “Come on, it hasn’t been that long since you were in high school. It’s all about where we’re eating lunch today and who’s having tonight’s party.”

“And who’s hooking up with whom,” he added. “One mention that you and I were talking to each other before school or that you listened to me play – alone – in my classroom, and I could get fired.”

My fingers skimmed the worn body of the piano.

“You could be talking to any student before or after class – alone – and that wouldn’t get you into any trouble.”

“You’re not just any student.” His admission pleased me. Neither of us said anything then, the air filled with the implication.

I smiled, hoping he would too, but intensity tightened his face. “I’m serious.”

“I can see that. Can’t you just forget that I’m in your class?”

“No. I see your face every morning. I watch the way you smile when you sing, like…” He lowered his head a moment. “Like… you’ve never been happier.”

“Because I never have been.”

“That can’t be true. You’re popular. You have friends everywhere, I’ve seen it. I can tell you’re a girl who has everything.”

The rush I had felt building around us popped.

“Because I live in a big house I have everything?”

“It’s not just the big house.”

“How do you know all of this without knowing me?”

My face heated as anger spread. “You don’t know anything about me.”

“And you don’t know anything about me. Whatever you think you like about me, Eden, it’s only the part I let the world see. That’s the mask we all wear.”

“Is this some lame excuse for rejection? If you aren’t attracted to me, just say so, but don’t play around with it. I can take it, whatever it is.”

A deep line creased between his brows. “It isn’t rejection, it’s facts. You don’t know me beyond the walls of this classroom.”

“You drove me home.” I tilted my head and tried a grin. “And I saw you at your church.”

A slow smile spread on his lips. “Okay, okay, point taken.” He stood then, and looked down into my eyes.

Desperation rushed back into every scared hollow I had inside.

“So.” I had the feeling the conversation was almost over and didn’t want it to be. I smiled when he did. “I just, kind of thought we could, hang some time.”

“And do what?”

“Not homework,” I joked, but his eyes were stormy with uncertainty.

“We couldn’t even be seen in public together, Eden.”

“You make it sound like it’s against the law, two people hanging out. I’m an adult. I can be with whoever I want.”

He shifted, shook his head and rested a hand on the piano. “It’s more complicated than that. If anyone found out that I was seeing one of my students, there would be political accusations. Is she getting an A because he’s seeing her? Is she seeing him because she only wants an A?”

“That’s just wrong,” I shot. “I wouldn’t do that.” Though I had been guilty of kissing up to teachers before, especially male teachers, Mr. Christian’s honest vulnerability made me appalled, not abusive of such deception.

He lowered his head a moment, stroking the piano with such gentleness I followed the gesture with my insides quivering.

“Do you have a girlfriend?” I asked.

He let out a light laugh. “No.”

What idiots women were, I thought. “Then let’s hang out some time.” His serious expression once again left me feeling empty handed. “How about we ‘run into each other’ at Starbucks? That way, no one can say anything. You like coffee?”

He hesitated, but finally said, “Yes.”

The coerced look on his face pinched my exposed heart. “Look, forget it. I’m sorry I even came in here.” I took another look at his hand, at the way it lay protectively on the piano and couldn’t look him in the eye anymore. “It was stupid of me. I’m sorry.”

I turned, grabbed my bag lying on the chair. I shouldn’t have to talk him into anything. If he cared or was interested in getting to know me, he would have to come after me.

He was a guy, after all. More than that even, he was a man.

I started toward the door.

“Eden.”

Without turning to look at him I stopped, my hand on the knob, my heart thudding.

“There’s a Starbucks in the Rivera. Do you know where it is?”

I nodded. The first fluttering of joy started in my stomach.

“Tonight. Seven o’clock.”

Breathing froze. My whole body flushed with delicious anticipation. I gripped the knob, my knuckles turning to rock. I didn’t turn and look at him. I opened the door and walked out.

A few minutes later, I waited outside the music room until the bell rang and most of the other choir members had filed in. I meant to show him that in no way would I give away what had happened between us by being some giddy girl. I heard the classical music he played for us on his CD player start.

Leesa stood next to me and I smiled at her. “Hey, Leesa.”

“Hi, Eden.” Her smile twinkled. “Have a good weekend?”

“Pretty good. What did you do?” I asked. She looked shocked that I’d asked, then pleased.

“I hung out with some friends, thanks for asking.”

We started through the door of the classroom.

“Sounds better than my weekend,” I said.

“Really? I thought you would have been with Matt.”

“We’re not seeing each other anymore.” I glanced over her shoulder at Mr. Christian who stood talking to a few students.

Leesa was so enamored with our conversation, she didn’t notice. “You’re not? Wow. I’m sorry.”

“There’s nothing to be sorry about. But, thanks anyway.” We separated and went to our chairs. Hers was closer to the front than mine. I noticed that she set her books under her seat then instantly focused on James Christian and what he was doing.

“Let’s get started.” James looked out over the class. I waited for him to look at me, but he avoided it. “Thanks to everyone for a great concert.”

“We sounded awesome,” a boy called from the back.

A bunch of kids voiced their agreement.

“You guys did great.” James nodded and moved his music stand so that it was in front of him.

“So, we’re like, on a break now?” Josh asked. Everyone laughed.

“No, we’re not on a break.” James grinned. “But we are starting on some new music.”

A roll of good-natured groans rumbled through the room. “You work us too hard, Mr. C,” somebody said.

“That’s my job, to work you guys.”

“Can’t we just have a party today?”

He shook his head. “You should have celebrated Saturday. Sorry if you missed out. Now, it’s Monday.”

Another round of groans. “Besides, we have the spring concert to prepare for.”

“What will we be singing? Not more classical. Save us!”

James set his hand over his heart with a feigned frown.

“You don’t like my choice of music?”

“I say you let us pick the songs,” a boy suggested. The room roared with shouts of song titles. James laughed and finally held up his hands until the room quieted.

“Okay, okay… or the fun of it, let’s hear what some of you suggest?”

Hands shot up and he pointed randomly to each one.

“Something from Eminem.”

“Yeah,
The Real Slim Shady
.”

“No way, we need to sing,
Holiday
.” Another suggestion.

James laughed with a shake of his head. “Right.”

“
Phantom of the Opera
has some good songs.”

“Now that’s not a bad suggestion,” James said. Leesa raised her hand. “Yes, Leesa?”

“I know it’s old, but I kind of like
My Heart Will Go On
, from
Titanic
.”

James’ face flushed red. He shifted, and moved the music stand an inch. Then his eyes met mine. For a moment he looked at me, before turning his attention back to Leesa. “That’s an old standby. Yeah, we can sing that.

Anybody else have suggestions?”

•••

The day dragged as if I carried leaden weights on my ankles. I couldn’t think during any of my other classes, anticipating my meeting with James later that night. Lunch came and I forced myself to continue my regular pattern of joining my friends at the plaza for a nonsense lunch.

Matt sat at the table with Josh and Tanner. Brielle and I scored a parking space right in front of Fiasco’s and walked over.

“I wonder if Matt will be a retard now,” I said. Brielle didn’t say anything. I looked at her. Her gaze was pinned on Matt.

We walked to the table. From behind the protection of my dark glasses I glanced around, wondering if James would happen to show up for lunch.

“Hey,” Brielle chirped. The guys all responded except Matt, who stared at me through narrow eyes. Then he reached out and snagged Brielle and pulled her onto his lap. She giggled.

I rolled my eyes but the black lenses of my glasses concealed it. Josh and Tanner looked awkwardly at me. I felt like I was crashing a party.

I sat down and stretched out as if the PDA didn’t bother me. I was too wrapped up in counting the hours until seven to spend one second thinking about Matt and his rebounding efforts with Brielle. But I also didn’t want Brielle to get hurt.

Matt turned her face in his hands and gave her a deep kiss. My stomach lurched. Had we looked that revolting?

Tanner and Josh looked away. When Matt’s hands started to travel all over Brielle, she broke the kiss with another giggle.

Our eyes met.

“It’s okay,” I told her with a nod. “Go for it.”

Something in Matt’s expression was angry. Fortunately, Brielle didn’t see it. She was too elated having my approval.

She was content to stay perched on his lap, but he nodded at an empty seat and she reluctantly moved.

“Missed you at the concert, Matt,” I said, just to be salty.

He leaned back in his chair. “Bet you did.”